That annoying thing called imposter syndrome

I have many talented clients who are keen to offer Reiki or other holistic and trauma-based therapies, teach yoga and/or write books, but let the imposter syndrome get in the way.

This is a syndrome which essentially tells you that you are not good enough to offer whatever it is that you are wanting to offer, that you don’t know enough, aren’t clever enough, expert enough, knowledgeable enough, that you don’t have the right qualifications, that you won’t be able to do a good job, that compares you to others and concludes that there’s too much competition anyway and that you will never be able to make a go of it etc.

But really when it boils down to it, it shows that you just care too much what others think of you and that you don’t recognise your own magnificence.

It also shows that you don’t trust spirit and/or have faith in whatever it was that gifted the idea in the first place.

And that you are Ok about selling out on your heart.

It might also indicate that you have forgotten that we co-create in this life and it is about so much more than you.

We let our ego get involved.

This is the self-depreciating ego which tells us that we are not loveable, or good enough, or enough of this and that, or too much, or whatever other negative self-depreciating inner narrative we repeat over and over again and make manifest in our lives simply because we are always seeking validation of this negativity and embedding it deeper into our psyche and belief system.

If we look for trouble, we will see only trouble.

If we look for love, we will see only love.

If we look for validation of our uselessness, we will see it everywhere.

It is all about perspective.

And we have a choice.

We can keep limiting ourselves with all this negative crap, or we can choose to shift our mentality to something far more positive and expansive and live our best life.

It’s not our fault. We have been conditioned since birth to question ourselves, to doubt ourselves and to be down on ourselves.

We are constantly criticised for not being intelligent enough, or quick enough on the sports field, or arty enough, or musical, or thoughtful enough, or kind enough or polite enough, or not wearing the right clothes, or saying the right thing, or walking down the corridor correctly, or sitting still, or any of the other many, many ways that we are told how to be and judged for behaving differently.

No wonder so many are so tired.

This trying to be what others want us to be and this caring what others think and the hyper vigilance this requires, is really rather exhausting. It creates so much insecurity, anxiety and depression. It causes us to lose our centre, close our hearts and, at times, think we are negatively losing our mind.

Consumerism thrives on this insecurity. It thrives on our externalising of our worth. Of caring too much what others think. People make millions selling products that we are told will help us feel better about ourselves. Even in yoga, it has become all about the building or the mat or the clothes we wear, and this when yoga is absolutely an internal practice.

But that aside, it is crazy isn’t it, to base our self-esteem and sense of self on other people’s fleeting thoughts. Watch your own mind and ask yourself, “what thought will I think next?”, and watch the constant stream of thoughts that appear from the ether in all their randomness. Thoughts come and go. The trouble is we give them far too much energy and believe that they are a concrete representation of reality. They aren’t. So why on earth we care what other people are thinking about us or the opinions they hold one us (which are just thoughts) is quite beyond me.

If we don’t care about our own thoughts - and we really shouldn’t, especially those self depreciating ones, then why on earth should we care about other people’s thoughts? And this to the detriment of our experience and quality of life.

Because when we care too much, it stops us fulfilling our potential, it limits us and it keeps us stuck. And slowly a part of us begins to die, to give up, to feel hopeless, to accept our miserable lot. We close down to excitement and joy, we let our head drop, we drink more wine, eat more junk food, watch more TV, spend more time meaninglessly scrolling through social media, we might manifest illness and we tell ourselves all sorts of stories to justify why we won’t bother trying to move our life forwards and step into our power, share our gifts with the world, just yet.

Sometimes we are scared of failing. Or scared of our potential success.

Somewhere though, we have forgotten that there is a bigger picture.

You see spirit works through us. It wants to co-create with us. It needs us to be the channel and vehicle to bring more heart and soul onto this planet. The trouble is we block this flow by getting in our own way.

We make it all about us, rather than the people who may benefit.

We forget our place in the cosmos.

Maybe I am lucky. I didn’t intend to teach yoga or Reiki or offer Ayurveda. I only signed up for my yoga teacher training course because I wanted to immerse myself in yoga. Together with Reiki it had quite literally saved my life and I wanted to learn all I could about it. I also wanted everyone else on the planet to practice yoga because I knew how much it might help to ease our individual and collective suffering.

It was the same with Reiki. My Reiki Master had to really encourage me along to the first attunement session as I didn’t feel good enough. I was quite sure that the Reiki wouldn't work for me and when I was the only one in the room who didn’t feel a thing during the attunement itself and certainly didn’t see colours or have a sense of energy beings, i concluded that I definitely wasn’t good enough.

But alas a seed was sown and I found myself attending the Level Two training. It was the pendulum dowsing that got me really. I just couldn't believe that it actually worked for me. It was life changing. I slowly started to connect with, and trust, my intuition. It helped that I had by then started receiving spiritual life coaching using Reiki and the Reiki had been working its magic in my life, this to the extent that I wanted everyone else on this planet to benefit.

It was the same with Ayurveda. It felt like magic. I couldn’t quite believe how changing my diet in such an ancient way and taking some medicinal herbs could create such a profound difference in my energy levels and my relationship with myself. The pre-menstrual symptoms which had plagued me for years dissipated. The cysts on my ovaries healed. My disordered eating eased. The overwhelm and accompanying depressive moments abated. I was sleeping better. My digestive system was consistent. I wanted to learn as much as I could. I wanted everyone to try Ayurveda.

And so I ended up teaching yoga and Reiki and becoming an Ayurvedic lifestyle and nutrition consultant simply because I wanted others to experience the benefits for themselves.

I felt as if I had been given these incredibly sacred gifts and the only way I can truly thank the powers that be, is to share these gifts with others. My teachings and sharing then come from a place of deep gratitude.

Not only that, but I realise spirit is just moving through me. I don’t own any of it. Even Beinspired is not mine. It came in at just the right time and it has shaped itself.

The moments when I take myself too seriously, make it all about me, or try in some way to control things, especially Beinspired, is the time it all goes to pot. That I have learned the hard way.

And yes of course, I too have suffered imposter syndrome. Every time I offer something new, I can feel a creeping of anxiety and start questioning my ability and hear myself saying something like, “who do you think you are offering spiritual life coaching, do you really feel you have the qualifications/training/knowledge to help coach others spiritually, and can you honestly charge people for what you are offering?”

I hear those thoughts.

But then I also know that the idea to offer spiritual life coaching was not about me, it was about the people who may benefit from my sharing my passion for yoga, Reiki and Ayurveda, and all the many spiritual practices I have explored these last 20 off years. That is not supposed to sound arrogant, as if I am better than anyone else, I am not. But with all that I offer, it just suddenly comes in as a possibility, I haven’t gone searching for it.

The yoga teacher training course was the first of its kind and arrived on my penultimate day in Byron Bay when I was wondering what to do next with my life, but knowing that I wanted to continue immersing myself in yoga (you can read more about this in Namaste and From Darkness Comes Light). The Reiki came in by encouragement from my Reiki Master. The Ayurvedic training was encouraged by my Ayurvedic doctor. A part of me was cynical - they just want my money. But I know now, as I do this to others, that it is never about the money, it's an intuitive nudge, because you know that other person will benefit - if I have been badgering you to come to class, or do a Reiki attunement or consult with me for Ayurveda, this is the reason, something is telling me that you will benefit!

In many respects I have felt that I have had little choice. My yoga teacher told me to go back to Guernsey and start teaching yoga. My Reiki Master encouraged me to establish Beinspired and start offering Reiki. My Ayurvedic doctor was super keen for me to offer Ayurveda and did all she could to help me. These people are conscious, they have benefitted themselves from these spiritual practices and they also see the bigger picture - that we are co-creating with the divine, we are playing our role in positively shifting the vibration on this planet. We have incarnated at this time in history for this very reason.

So each time I come up against imposter syndrome, I acknowledge it and sit with it. Where is it coming from? What is the fear? And how is my heart feeling?

And as long as it still feels aligned, my heart sings, my intuition is nodding, then I’ll go for it anyway.

I’ll put on my big girl leggings and I’ll face my inner demon.

I’ll trust in whatever it was that gifted me the idea or the nudge in the first place.

I have learned a ton of lessons along the way.

At my first yoga class no one turned up. I went home and cried on my Dad’s shoulder. But I didn’t give up because something was telling me that I just needed to be patient, that Rome was not built in a day, that we all have to start somewhere, that it takes time for people to find their way to you.

And they do.

I have learned to trust in that.

That the right people will find you. That the universe will connect you.

Sure, it helps to advertise, to make people aware you exist. But people will come when the time is right - and for both of you, because it’s a two way process - I learn something from every single client and students who has entered my life.

I have also learned that you can advertise as much as you like, but if you have some resistance within you because you are letting imposter syndrome get in the way then people will not find you because on some level you are blocking them, you are also manifesting the validation you need that you are not good enough so let’s back out now while you can. I have sene this happen lots of times, people make it all about them again.

We have to be careful with our thoughts as they do create our reality. So shift your thoughts. And pray. Pray for assistance. For the most perfect situation for all parties.

I have also learned that we are not in control.

And that we should never base our self worth on external validation such as the number of students in our class or our busy schedule.

Just like we should never look to someone else to make us feel whole.

Or look to love to save us.

Or someone else to make us feel safe.

Or assume we need a community or tribe to feel as if we belong.

Our primary relationship in this lifetime is with ourselves. That much I have learned.

We come in on our own and we will leave on our own. This is the journey of OUR soul.

I know this with absolute certainty.

We can hear the powers that be if we are still enough, quiet enough, gentle enough.

We just need to learn to trust in what we hear, and cultivate greater faith in ourselves and in spirit in the process.

We need to cultivate self-belief. We have to learn to love and accept ourselves. This takes hard work. No one else can do it for us. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, you cannot buy this. Sure others can help you, but only you can really make the inner changes.

We need to switch off and switch in. People love eating energy. Protect your energy. Don’t give it away or let others steal it.

Faith is our protection.

Discernment is our weapon.

I have also learned that we should never have an attachment to outcome. If we do, we will never write that book, or run that course, or offer that treatment.

We do what we do for the love of it, for the sheer joy of the creative process.

We leave others to receive our offering in their own way. We are not responsible for this.

We have to let go of our idea of success or healing or whatever it may be.

We cannot control outcome.

We cannot make someone better if they don’t want to be better.

And we need to remember that we don’t all think and feel the same. So just because we might feel a certain way after say a yoga class or a Reiki treatment, doesn't mean that others will feel similarly. Some may like it, some may not.

And the other lesson I have learned is not to personalise everything. Someone doesn’t come back to yoga. Big deal. That’s their choice. Maybe that one session was all they needed to move them forwards in their life, maybe they can’t get a baby sitter, maybe they have to work late, maybe yoga is just not for them. We don’t need to make up stories that revolve around us, “oh I don’t think they like my style of teaching, oh I am such a rubbish yoga teacher blah blah blah.

Who cares!

Do what you do, offer what you offer, for the sheer love of it.

Stop caring what others think.

And put your energy to loving yourself more instead. Of being your greatest friend.

I have spent thousands of pounds on various trainings, workshops, courses and treatments over the years, but one of my best friend’s gave me the greatest advice for free. He told me to stop caring what others think. No one had ever told me that. Not one single person. or if they did, I didn’t hear them. I started putting this into practice and I couldn’t believe how deep the conditioning around caring what others think. Every time I was triggered, when I traced it back to source, I realised it was always about caring what others thought. I cannot tell you how liberating it has been to work with this and stop caring. It automatically tightens boundaries and helps you value yourself - and - it increases interestingly your compassion not least for self, but for others, because you see how much they suffer by caring too much what others think.

To the extent they don’t live their best life.

And this, to me, is a real tragedy.

So too the fact that they are denying others the benefit of their gifts by not sharing them - it’s like a form of stealing.

If you are reading this, then the chances are that you too have something to share. That you have a passion for yoga or writing or holistic therapies or whatever it may be and that your life has been touched positively to the extent that you would like others to benefit from what you have to share, be that your healing hands, your story or just your ability to listen.

So my advice is to share it. Notice the self-depreciating and limiting thoughts and do it anyway. Dig deep. Find the courage. Trust in whatever it was that gave you the idea. Cultivate faith. Pray for assistance along the way. Please don’t deny others the benefit of whatever gift you are here to share.

If it helps then I am happy to work with you to move you forwards, but remember that I cannot do it for you. You have to do it for yourself.

To help others.

To liberate yourself. Fly free.

To raise the vibration on this planet.

And boy do we need it!

Love Emma x

Curious about Reiki

I love Reiki, it has been without doubt the most positive thing I have ever brought into my life. From the very first Reiki session something changed and it has kept positively changing ever since then. Reiki changes lives in positive ways, it helps us to grow as more conscious and compassionate human beings. Even one Reiki session can change things, but it is the attunements that really changed things for me. I wasn’t always aware of it at the time, as these things can take time to integrate, but any attunement was soon followed by a significant change in my life.

Recently I have been furthering my Reiki studies and was reminded of the manner in which the natural intelligence of the Reiki energy connects us to those with whom we need to connect and invites in often mind-blowing synchronicities and coincidence. There’s been a Bengal theme since deepening my studies, random encounters with Bengal cats and a particularly random meeting with a previously unknown Reiki attuned Bengal cat owner at 6am on the Spring equinox in one of our local dolmens aligned to the spring equinox sunrise. 

This after a strange old week of other coincidental stuff occurring, like me buying Elijah a large Pooh Bear fluffy toy from the local hospice shop and days later the Reiki guide, producing the exact same Pooh Bear in one of her videos! Too much of a coincidence to be ignored! This is the thing with Reiki though, it changes things, brings in more magic to life, helps us to see things differently, directs you on a more aligned path and heals all at the same time. 

Fire has also been a theme this week, off the back of reading the really inspiring The Children’s Forest by Mac Macartney and more work with my Ayurvedic doctor. Fire really cleanses and shifts things. We acknowledged the spring equinox with a fire at the stone circles at my folks’ house with some friends and tea, bringing more light in now as we burn up more of that we don’t now need. I’m curious to see how the energy settles the next few days, but I have a feeling we have to keep stepping up and moving into unknown territory and will be encouraged to do so too. 

Reiki helps us to let go and find new ways to be, it nourishes and calms the soul and allows us to hear it’s voice more clearly, nudging us to make changes, go somewhere different, get out of bed at silly times of the morning to see a sunrise, or stay up late to dance with the moon. It takes us into the sea, onto the earth, doing some stuff we never thought we might do. I really truly believe that everyone should have Reiki in their lives and I have a few ideas of how we might make it more accessible to you, but we’ve got offerings, treatments, attunements, online Reiki share and the forthcoming Safer Event. So if you’re tempted, heed the call, it’s time!

I’ve put together some info about Reiki below. Fortunately it is becoming more well-known and accepted these days, not quite so esoteric as it was when I discovered it back in 2004. Reiki has supported me through all my life challenges since then, and while there have been moments where it has asked me to dig deep, go to those dark places inside, it has always helped me to pop through the other side, lighter, brighter and clearer, so that I wholeheartedly welcome healing crises because as horrible as they are at the time, they are an absolutely necessary stage of our healing and evolution as conscious beings. Anyhow here you go:

What can Reiki do?
Reiki works with the energetic, physical, spiritual and emotional aspects of the individual to address imbalances on all levels. The reason you may wish to experience a Reiki session include:

• General balancing

• Clearing emotional blocks

• Physical pain

• Increasing clarity

• Issues with life

• Personal spiritual development

How is Reiki different from other therapies?

Reiki is holistic in its approach and addresses not only the symptoms an individual experiences but the root cause of the imbalance as well. Reiki helps to restore the body’s natural ability to heal and create balance.

How do I know this is right for me?

People who have a nagging feeling that something in their life or body mind is out of balance or they feel like they are struggling within themselves and their environment usually find Reiki at the perfect time for them. The fact that you are reading this blog is likely a sign that your body/mind/soul is ready for healing and to experience growth.

What exactly is Reiki energy?

The Japanese word ‘Reiki’ means ‘universal life force energy’.  It refers to an ancient hands-on healing art developed by Dr Mikao Usui in Japan in the early 1900’s for the passing of healing energy onto others and personal spiritual development. 

Eastern medicine has always recognised and worked with this energy, which flows through all living things and is vital to well-being. Known as ‘ki’ in Japan, ‘chi’ in China and ‘prana’ in India. Acupuncture, T’ai chi and Yoga are also based on the free-flow of this energy in a person.

Reiki can be likened to a free flowing river.  This river is like energy flowing easily down through the body.  Occasionally a pebble or a rock may fall into that river making the flow of water a little more difficult.  

These pebbles can be compared to human emotions such as worry, guilt, sadness, fear, shame, anxiety and anger, with each pebble building one on top of the other.  Soon there is only a trickle of water running in that once free-flowing river and at this point physical pain may also be experienced.  By receiving Reiki more energy is offered to the body.  This extra energy is like a flood that washes down through our rivers removing and dissolving the obstacles in its way, such as the trapped emotions that have caused our loss of wellbeing and often kept us stuck. 

What to expect during a Reiki session

You will lie fully clothed on a bed (on the floor or a treatment couch) with the option of being covered with a blanket. You will be encouraged to relax as best you can. The practitioner will place her hands on various parts of your body and channel Reiki to you. Reiki might be experienced as heat or cold, tingling, or nothing at all! It usually induces a state of deep relaxation, which can be healing in itself. The session generally lasts one hour. 

Interview with Emma for Resonance Magazine about IVF

Interview for Resonance Magazine with Reiki Master, Emma Després, author of Dancing with the Moon, about her spiritual journey through IVF.

What prompted you to write your book, Dancing with the Moon?

I was pregnant at the time, and I was aware that I was seeing an increasing number of ladies for Reiki and also at yoga classes who were experiencing fertility problems.  I would often share my story in the hope that it might help them, but decided that instead of repeating myself I would blog about it instead. These blog postings seem to take on their own energy, and it crossed my mind that I might turn it into a book.  However, at that point I didn’t have an ending.  Then my second son was born, and the manner in which he arrived into the world gave me the perfect ending.  I realised immediately after his birth that I had a book – I just needed to finish writing it!

What is the book about?

The book is essentially about my spiritual journey through IVF and on into pregnancy, birth and motherhood.  Each stage presented its own challenges, from failed IVF, complications during pregnancy, births that didn’t go as intended and the shock of motherhood!  It talks about how much Reiki and yoga both helped support me enormously.

In what way did Reiki support you?

I’ve been a Reiki Master since 2006, so Reiki is very much a part of my daily life and I’m eternally grateful for the day Reiki came into my life.  During the IVF, it was a true blessing to be able to channel Reiki to myself during all the treatment, not least to heal from all the injections but also to help to grow good quality, Reiki infused eggs in preparation for egg collection, and then to channel Reiki to recover from egg collection and prepare my womb to receive the embryos, and then to channel Reiki to the embryos minutes after they had been implanted into my womb.

Because of working with energy through Reiki and yoga, it was an absolute blessing to be able to feel the energy of the embryos growing inside me.  This was a source of immense comfort to me during the rather challenging twelve-day wait to see whether the IVF has worked. It continued to be a huge comfort through miscarriage scares and other challenges presented during my two pregnancies – especially the “do not worry” principle.

The ability to channel Reiki to myself was also a huge comfort when both pregnancies ended in Caesarean sections due to complications.  The Reiki really helped my body to heal from the surgery much quicker than if I hadn’t been able to give myself Reiki. 

I still accredit Reiki to helping my youngest son after being born six weeks early and needing oxygen in Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit.  As soon as I was able to touch him, I placed my hands on his chest and channelled Reiki, and I am absolutely convinced that it was doing this as often as I could those first few days that meant he was strong enough to breathe without oxygen much earlier than any of the medical staff expected.  

Furthermore, Reiki helped me to come to terms with a failed round of IVF, and to recognise that there is a bigger picture to all life and everything has a timing. Plus, it helped me to be a much more empathic Reiki practitioner, I wish every lady going through IVF could channel Reiki to themselves, and feel the energy of the growing embryo.  I also wish every baby in NICU could receive Reiki – plus their parents, as it can be a potentially stressful experience.

Has Reiki inspired your writing?

Yes, enormously! I’m truly passionate about Reiki and writing. Reiki has shaped my life in so many ways and I mention it many times in my book, because it has been such an integral part of my journey. I don’t believe I would have written the book if it wasn’t for Reiki helping me to step further into authenticity and empower me to believe in myself and fulfil my dreams. Furthermore, there is no doubt that Reiki has helped me to heal me and connect more fully with my creativity. 

Dancing with the Moon is available to buy in paper back and ebook at www.amazon.co.uk.

Supporting Guernsey Mind through yoga nidra and Reiki

Thank you so much beautiful people for helping to raise £308.50 for Guernsey Mind through yoga nidra and Reiki this evening.

I’m probably biased but I just love a room full of people channelling and receiving Reiki, it’s powerful stuff! I also love sharing a yoga nidra, so it was the perfect evening for me, especially as I taught yoga first too. The Reiki share was a particular highlight, where we linked palms and shared Reiki around the circle, my hands were buzzing!!!

Thank you very much to my helpers too, so much appreciated.

Sending love and Reiki.

Emma xxx

We are creating a Beinspired Reiki community finally!

I really appreciated all you lovely souls joining me on Zoom this evening for our first Beinspired Reiki share with guided meditation and some breath awareness. It was certainly a potent, grounding, powerful and connecting experience for me. I am going to make it a weekly thing for however long...sending Reiki and love to each other, to the universe and to the coronavirus, to find some harmony...I think it might be the only way, find a way to live together, and Reiki tends to help with relationships, so keep sending Reiki to it.

There's a beautiful poem that might help make sense of this:

Anything that annoys you is for teaching you patience.

Anyone who abandons you is for

teaching you how to stand up

on your own two feet.

Anything that angers you is for teaching you forgiveness and compassion.

Anything that has power over you is for teaching you hot to take your power back.

Anything you hate is for

teaching you unconditional love.

Anything you fear is for

teaching you courage to

overcome your fear.

Anything you cannot control is for teaching you how to let go and trust the universe.

Jackson Kiddard.

Those of you who are Reiki attuned and would like to join the community and receive emails with Zoom sign-in details for our weekly group then please email me at emma@beinspiredby.co.uk. You don’t need to have been attuned by me. All are welcome!

Love and Reiki.

A healing crisis

With all the recent healing work, a healing crisis was inevitable.  It was funny as I hadn't identified with it as such, I just knew something was "off" and was trying to figure out the reason for this.

In the back of my mind I had this thought that I needed to write about healing crises in my Reiki Level One Manual, because following a Reiki attunement (and each of the three levels) you go through a 21 day healing process.

The number 21 is very significant in spiritual fields as it means that new beginnings and change are coming in, and this should bring greater balance and harmony, and therefore should be positively embraced. However often this means that the old needs to break down to make space for the new to come in and this is not always an easy process.  

So there I was thinking about writing about a healing crisis but not having identified with it.  Then rather coincidentally (but of course there are no coincidences), a good friend asked me what a healing crisis meant. Suddenly it dawned on me, "ah ha, of course, yes, this is what I am going through, a healing crisis!".

They are never easy to go through at the best of times and this one lingered on for a good ten days, bringing up old anxious and sickness energy from my solar plexus and sacral chakras. I knew it wasn't how I felt now, but it was unsettling all the same. Obviously I just wanted it to go, but this is the thing about the healing process, you have to feel it for it to truly leave the body. That's often the reason that we need to do some healing work in the first place, because we never felt the emotion or whatever it may have been at the time, and stuffed it away, where it becomes a stagnant and stuck energy and subtly (and not so subtly) affects our lives.

So what is a healing crisis?  Let me try and explain.

Well as I've just mentioned energy gets stuck for a reason.  Often it’s because you can’t or don’t want to face something difficult. Thus energy can also get stuck from trauma, crises, numbness, or denial. Some part of you, whether it’s the ego, body wisdom or spirit, is trying to protect you. Rather than feeling everything in that moment and letting it pass through, thoughts and emotions (energy in motion) gets stuffed down into the energetic corners, so to speak. Stuck energy can lead to pain and disease. It’s protection and in the short term it has a place, but when numbing and holding on becomes a habit and a default coping method then it can lead to long term problems.

Healing work is essentially about releasing the stuck energy that no longer has a purpose and serves the individual. If it’s not acute or obvious, it could simply be a feeling of life being “off balance” or something just not feeling quite right. Whatever the reason for the healing work –receiving Reiki for example – the goal is generally to feel better, not worse.

Any type of cleansing or healing that you do will come with a release. This can happen on a physical, mental, emotional or spiritual level, and often happens on several levels simultaneously. When toxins and toxic energy are released, your body and mind have to deal with a sudden and powerful shift in balance. It’s impossible to have a release in any of your bodies (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, energetic) and not have the others affected. 

The body is good at maintaining a balance, so the symptoms are usually mild. But symptoms are always unique and dependant on your sensitivity, your level of illness or disease, the extent of your denial, and/or your frame of mind during a session. This is referred to as a “healing crisis”. Essentially you are releasing the old stuck energy with new energy and your whole system has to adjust to the change and you may experience uncomfortable symptoms.

The healing crisis can be unpleasant and even take you a while to identify that this is what you’re experiencing - this is what happened to me!  It's always a relief when you recognise that you are simply going through a healing crisis. It’s all part of the healing process and essential to complete the healing – better out than in! Essentially you’re releasing all the stuck anger, hurt, broken heart, anxiety, depression, sadness, betrayal, unhealed trauma, unspoken feelings, resentment, frustration, rejection, loss etc. that you’ve been holding onto inside.

The thing is, you won’t be able to release it all without feeling some of it again. It’s like you have to feel it, to release it and let it move on. Sometimes the release is quick, e.g. an overwhelming sense of anger and need to run it off, or scream it out, momentary feelings of sadness and unexpected tears. There may be vomiting or diarrhoea, muscle ache, fatigue, the need to forgive a past situation or person, or make amends with someone, and/or a large emotional purge. Sometimes you might pick a fight with a partner or friend, simply as a way of releasing pent up frustration or anger. 

Sometimes the release might take a few days or a week or so, where you don’t feel quite right, to the extent that you might start wondering if your old anxiety, depression, resentment, sadness, grief, or whatever it might be, has come back again, and this might make you feel a little panicky. 

I've certainly gone through a combination of healing crises in the past.  When I was doing my Reiki training all those years ago, I got what I thought were a lot of vomiting bugs, but I later realised that these were healing crises, the old coming out. In these early days, especially with the yoga I had some sudden anger outbursts that came from nowhere and these too, I came to realise were healing crises too.

Please don’t worry of you too go through a healing crisis from yoga or a holistic treatment or practice. It’s just the old moving out to make way for the new, and your body needs time to find a new balance and adjust to the higher vibrational energy. It should be embraced rather than feared as it is a true sign of healing. Please don’t think that the practitioner or teacher did anything wrong or you did anything wrong, it’s simply the healing process. The deeper and more intense the healing crisis, the deeper and more intense the healing. 

You might find that after a healing crisis things change for you.  Your vibration has changed so situations and the people you attract into your life will also change.  This may mean that there will be some dis-resonance with people and situations already in your life, and some of these will adapt and morph with your own energy, and others will drop away. Please just trust the process, it is all for the higher good and may highlight to you, relationships and situations that are no longer serving you. You’ll shine lighter and brighter as a result. 

Try to drink lots of water during this time, and move your body, getting out into nature, getting your feet on the Earth, perhaps journaling, doing a guided relaxation, holding rose quartz or chakra balancing crystals and just trying to be super compassionate and kind to the self. 

I've found myself drawn to do all these things during the healing crisis, especially running, as if trying to sweat and move it out, running my life forward. I've also drawn on the yoga nidra network and listened to some lovely free and nourishing Yoga Nidras, while holding rose quartz. I've also played a lot with the children and swum in the sea, getting outside as much as possible. It's all helped!

As it happens a 21 day cleanse from the last Reiki attunement session I ran ends today, hoorah for that, it coincides with the weather shifting and my cycle shifting to the autumnal stage and no doubt things will shift during this moon phase.  Happy healing!!

Reiki - it's positive impact on my life

These days most people have heard of “Reiki” but not many know what it is actually is.  They often assume it is a form of religion or a form of massage and they often wonder if it dangerous.  No, is the answer to all these assumptions.  It is neither a belief system nor a physically manipulative technique and it is completely safe.  Essentially it is a way of being true to yourself so that you do things consciously, with awareness, sincerity and intention.

I must admit when that when I went for my first Reiki session, I had no idea what was really involved.  I recall lying on the treatment couch wondering what on earth was going to happen to me. Relaxing music played in the background and candles enhanced the natural light of the room.  The practitioner talked about angels and fairies and when my stomach started to gurgle she told me that was a sign they were in the room.  I couldn’t quite relax, any moment I was expecting to see apparitions and have a strange out-of-body-type experience.

In my ‘out-of-balance, want-to-be-balanced’ kind of way back then I suspect I was looking for a miracle cure that day.  But of course it didn’t happen.  After the session, I still felt like the same old me, a little out of sorts, a little unhappy.  The only difference being the fact that I knew a little bit more about angels.  The practitioner had told me that every time she drives into town she asks her angels to find her a parking space, and every time she goes to park the car there is a space waiting for her.  This stuck in my mind and I started doing this myself and I must admit it certainly works – you have to believe however!

Regardless of whether I felt the effects of the Reiki during that first session, the seed had been sown.  I was clearly drawn to Reiki for a reason and it was only a matter of time before it presented itself to me again – and the second time around, I had not gone searching.  You see, quite unbeknown to me at the time, I started to attend a meditation class which was led by a Reiki Master teacher.  Most of the meditation attendees were Reiki attuned and there was often much chatter about Reiki and the Reiki courses led by the teacher.  I would listen to them talking about metaphysical energy, auras, crystals and Chakras and wonder what on earth it was all about – it was a different world to the one I lived in at that time.

But times change and only a matter of weeks later I came across an advertisement pinned to the notice board at work advertising Reiki treatment sessions with – coincidentally (and this is something that becomes more prevalent in the Reiki world (coincidences that is) - the same lady who was leading the meditation classes.  I was fascinated as I read the advertisement; it mentioned how Reiki can encourage and support positive personal changes, helping to balance the emotions and free us from restrictive mental attitudes and behaviour patterns.  It explained how Reiki can help to improve the quality of our relationships, help us to de-stress, reduce our need for alcohol and tobacco, improve our diet and help us to respond more calmly to situations and events in our lives.  

This resonated with me immediately and while I still knew very little about the ‘how’, I was at a point in my life where I was willing to give anything a go.  This is often the nature of Reiki – you may not be aware of it at the time, but it tends to come into your life when you need it the most; you just simply have to be open to receiving it.  Of course, this is the other thing with Reiki, it cannot be forced upon you, you are either willing to go there or you aren’t and no amount of pressure from family or friends will change that – all they can do is plant the seed by making you aware that it exists in the first place.

From my own experience I know that Reiki offers a great many benefits.  Essentially it is a holistic relaxation therapy that focuses on the root cause of conditions rather than merely on the symptoms.  Thus not only can Reiki be used to induce a sense of deep physical relaxation but it can also be used to promote the healing of a wide range of ailments.  These include everything from stress related complaints such as insomnia to joint aches and pains (such as arthritis), headaches, stomach aches, depression, backache, menstrual problems, anxiety, asthma, colds and flu etc.

The Japanese word Reiki (pronounced Ray-key) means ‘Universal Energy’ and is based on the free flow of this energy in a person.  Eastern medicine has always recognised and worked with this energy, which flows through all living things and is vital to well-being.  It refers to an ancient hands-on healing art developed by Dr Mikao Usui in Japan in the early 1900’s for personal development and the passing of healing energy onto others.  Dr Usui believed that by clearing the body energetically it was possible to feel more connected to life, more relaxed, physically healthier and less unbalanced emotionally.

The second Reiki treatment provided a very different experience to the one I had experienced only a few months earlier.  Practising Reiki tends to enhance the intuition of the Reiki practitioner and this Reiki practitioner was certainly intuitive – not only that but I felt more of a connection.  She was able to feel what was going on for me, beyond the ego and the conscious thought patterns, and articulate these feelings to me in such a way that I could not have said them better myself.  It was a liberating and enlightening experience as I finally started to acknowledge a few of those things I had pushed down and tried to push away.

After the session I felt quite emotional and the practitioner assured me that this is not unusual.  The practitioner explained to me that it is a little like peeling an onion – the more you receive Reiki, the more you remove the layers, and the closer you come to your core, your true self – I guess it is a little like discarding the baggage, step by step, a fantastic form of personal development.  Of course it is different for everyone - some people may only want one session to merely relax while others will want more sessions to continue peeling away the layers.

Reiki treatments tend to last anywhere between 40 minutes and an hour and are carried out with you lying in a comfortable and peaceful environment. There is no need to remove any clothing and you are often given the opportunity to cover yourself with a blanket to encourage relaxation and make you feel a little more comfortable.  The practitioner may gently lay their hands on different parts of the body corresponding with the Chakras or energy centres, working from the head to the toes.  You may be asked to turn over so the practitioner can work on the other side of your body too.

Reiki has its own intelligence and the practitioner will be drawn intuitively to those parts of the body where the Reiki needs to go.  The body automatically draws in only as much Reiki as is needed using it in whatever way is most appropriate at that time. The Reiki energy may be felt as a flow of energy, mild tingling, warmth, heat, coolness, other sensations, or nothing at all.  It is common to drift off to sleep and you are often encouraged to do so as it promotes a deeply relaxing experience, calming the mind as much as the body.

As for the ability to practise Reiki, well it  does not take years of training, nor is it dependent upon intellectual capacity; it is simply passed from a teacher to the student.  As soon as this happens, one has the ability to channel Reiki for the whole of one’s life and can be learned by anyone.  The attunement is a powerful spiritual experience and can increase psychic sensitivity.  However, like most situations in life, people respond differently and the Reiki attunement is no exception. 

There are three levels of study and they are all independent of each other. The first level teaches you how to use Reiki for your own personal self-development, self healing and also the healing of others.  The second provides you with additional tools to work with Reiki and enables you to become a registered professional practitioner.  The third level, where you become a Reiki Master, teaches you how to further your own interest in Reiki, where you simply ‘be Reiki’.  You can then go one step further and train to become a teacher yourself.

The attunement process starts a cleansing process that can affect you on all levels as many of the toxins that have been stored in the body are released along with feelings and thought patterns that are no longer required.  Each level of attunement tends to increase the strength of the energy, encouraging personal development, self -healing, greater clarity of mind, increased intuition and potential increase in levels of consciousness.

Over two years I undertook each level of training and I have been a Reiki Master teacher for some time offering Reiki treatments and attunement sessions.  Each level brought with it new insights and it has been an empowering experience, which has not only increased my awareness of the world around me but changed the way I perceive so many aspects of life. I have a far greater understanding and appreciation of healing, health and wellbeing, metaphysics, the Chakra system and the flow of energy within the body. 

Furthermore, Reiki has profoundly helped me on a personal level so that it has literally been life changing, incredibly empowering and transformative and helped me (and continues to help me) to find the strength, clarity, self-belief and faith to make significant life changes more in tune with my true self.  In addition, it has helped to support me through many life challenges, not only emotionally, but physically, mentally and spiritually too.

Reiki helped support me on my trek to Everest Base Camp, and the trials and tribulations that brought with it.  It’s been there on my all my travels around the world, helping to calm me when travelling on my own and ground me after flying. It’s been there every night, helping me to go to sleep, and during relaxation at the end of Yoga to assist me in resting. I believe that Reiki had a role to play in bringing my beautiful life partner to me as I used it to empower this dream.

I used it to empower my dream of having children too and Reiki was ever present during my IVF journey. I channelled Reiki onto my eggs growing in preparation for use in the IVF process. I channelled Reiki on the embryos growing inside me and throughout pregnancy so that I now have two Reiki babies. I was able to use Reiki before and after the caesarean birth of both my boys and in the special care unit on my second son when he was born premature and needed oxygen to be able to breathe properly.

Reiki was invaluable in helping me to heal from the caesarean sections, and in coming to terms with the manner in which my first son arrived into this world. I have no doubt that Reiki had a role to play in the lessons that I learned through my quest to have children and the journey that this took me on, spiritually as much as anything else. Reiki is there for me to use on my boys, the big one and the two smaller ones and on other family and friends.

Over time, my life has become much more aligned with my truth and with the gifts I’ve been given, so that my soul has greater expression. I am certainly far happier, healthier, positive and balanced than I was before I discovered Reiki.   I have become far more in touch with my intuition and truth plus much more sensitive to energy – both my own and other people’s - plus of course nature and the natural flow of things.

Needless to say there is absolutely nothing special about me.  People often assume I must tire from channelling Reiki to others, but this is merely a misconception of what Reiki is all about – I am not a healer in the “laying on of hands” type way, I am simply a channel for the Reiki energy.  In fact, treating others is as relaxing and meditative for me as it is for the client and independent research has actually shown that during a treatment the brain wave patterns of practitioner and client become synchronised in the alpha state, characteristic of deep sleep and meditation.

Life still continues to present its many challenges, but I believe Reiki helps us to have a greater connection with our sense of self.  Feeling more strongly connected to yourself means that you are less likely to feel so overwhelmed by these stresses and you are more likely to see them for what they truly are.  Furthermore, Reiki can help you to realise what it is you need in your life (which is not always the same as what you think you want) and as a consequence, it encourages you to take control by letting go of all those things you no longer need. 

Simply put Reiki – as both a personal development and energy healing technique -can be a life changing experience that helps to enhance your experience of life and make you feel more connected to all of life, recognising (without doubt) that we are all one.

Saturday's Reiki Level 2 attunement session

I had a fab day on Saturday attuning 5 lovely ladies to Reiki 2. This means that those 5 ladies are now Reiki practitioners who can practice professionally on the general public, spreading the light and love of Reiki.

I love Reiki attunement sessions and sharing my love of Reiki with others.  Reiki is amazing and has supported me so much in my life. Not only in terms of my personal development but also as an opportunity to heal myself and others. It's deeply healing and empowering and has also helped me to connect more fully with my intuition and learn to trust in this.  It's amazing!

There are 3 levels too Reiki.  Reiki Level 1 where you learn to channel Reiki and can use it to help to heal yourself, family, friends and pets, this level works more so on the physical level.  Then there's Reiki 2 where you learn 3 of the 4 symbols and this level enables you to obtain insurance to practice professionally.  Here you also learn about crystals and pendulum downing and this level works more so on the mental and emotional bodies.  You also learn distance healing.  Then there's Reiki Master level where you learn the 4th symbol.  This level works more so - from my experience - on the spiritual level.

I love introducing Reiki to students during the level 1 as it is all so new and they are often blown away by the sensations they feel in their hands once they are attuned. You can use Reiki from the moment you are attuned to it and your connection with it never goes away, although it is heightened the more you practice with it.

I love Reiki 2 too as here we get to learn about the symbols and play around with pendulum dowsing, which I love, and also look at crystals and how these can be used to enhance healing. Anyone who knows me knows I love crystals so it really is a delight to share these with others.

Reiki Level 1 and 2 attunement sessions follow a similar format.  We meet at our cottage and have a chatter over a cup of tea or coffee, getting to know one another a bit and sharing any experiences we may have had of Reiki - some have never received Reiki and this is perfectly fine, I'm also curious to find out what has brought students to the sessions.

Then we follow the manual and learn about Reiki relevant to the level we are studying.  We then stop and enjoy a biodynamic energy session and some gentle yoga to bring some movement into the day and to move energy and strengthen our energy channels.  I guide the students through a chakra balancing relaxation and help them to ground their energy before the attunement itself.

The attunement is a little like being tuned into a wave - the Reiki wave.  It's painless and simply means that while you are meditating - I try to guide you into a meditative state - I place symbols and mantras in your aura which tune you into the wave.  It sounds all esoteric and wacky on an intellectual level but its very real and you will start to feel the Reiki flowing from your hands when you then have the intent to heal. It's a special time and takes about 5 minutes per student.

After the attunement we enjoy a vegan soup or salad together depending on the season.  There is always some humus and cheese, and bread and rice cakes and various other seasonal delights. It's important to eat following the attunement, to ground our energy, but we also want to ensure its clean food.

After lunch we follow the manual again.  Reiki 1 we may learn how to channel Reiki to others and about healing crisis and where you may place your hands. In Reiki 2 we learn about pendulum dowsing and crystals and about the responsibilities of being a professional Reiki practitioner.

We then get the treatment couch out and have a go channelling to and receiving Reiki from each other. This is great.  I'm only sorry I don't get the opportunity to lie on the bed and have all those hands channelling Reiki onto me too! We share our experiences and just see what happens.

Then what better way to finish the day then with angel cards? I love my angel cards and they always have an appropriate message for the recipient, even if its not obvious initially.

You go through a 21 day cleansing period following the attunement so I send people on their way with a crystal to support this and also an encouragement to spend time in nature drink plenty of water and rest when you can.  Oh and to practice Reiki!

I'd just like to say a huge thank you to you lovely ladies on Saturday for sharing your beautiful energy with me, I was hyper by the evening and truly inspired by our learnings - much gratitude.

x