Addressing the self-critical voice

That was one very intense new moon on Friday highlighting our tendency to self-criticism and self-blame. I was aware that my clients and students were being encouraged to find a kinder voice to talk to themselves, to shift the internal narrative to something much more positive.

In my own healing too, I was aware that we were being asked to question the various roles we have taken on and the way these limit us, so too to consider the stories we tell ourselves and the narrative and thoughts running through our mind.

I was essentially reminded that we are our own jailor and punisher. That we create our own suffering by our limited beliefs (as mentioned in the previous blog post) and our limited perception of reality.

We also create our suffering when we try to control our reality. Sometimes in life things just happen that are quite beyond our control and to blame ourselves for not having seen it coming or managing it better only services to diminish our energy levels and depress our spirit and soul. Life is as it is. There will always be challenges, always be curved balls, always be something that gets our attention and asks us to go deeper still.

We are being asked to let go and flow. Let go of how we think it should be, and allow something more aligned to come in.

We are being asked to let go of our various roles and the way we define ourselves to the world so we can show up as the soul that we are, regardless of the titles and what ‘we do’ in this world. Because we can always do it differently.

But as for the self-criticism, this needs working with. We have to become conscious of the self-derogatory words as they arise, catch them, and shift them into something more positive instead. After all, why so negative?

Here is some info I share with my spiritual life coaching clients to help them navigate all this, and I feel to share here so that you may benefit too, after all, you making these shifts and having a more positive relationship with yourself, positively affects the collective - we’re in this together whether we like it or not!

What is self-criticism?

Self-criticism is the tendency to evaluate oneself harshly. When we are self-critical we are always scrutinising ourselves and our performance in most areas of our life.

Self-criticism is sometimes considered a personality trait, which means that some people tend to be very hard on themselves whereas others are less so. But, we all fall somewhere along the continuum.

If we are being self-critical then we are generally deeply afraid of failure and rejection, and can feel a lot of guilt. We may also prioritise achievement over social connection.

Furthermore, being self-critical can make it difficult for us to form close relationships.

What is the psychology behind self-criticising behaviour

Self-criticising behaviour arises from a complex interplay of psychological, social, and environmental factors. At its core, self-criticism often stems from internalised beliefs about our worthiness, competence, or likability, which can be influenced by early experiences, cultural norms, and societal pressures. 

 Those who exhibit self-criticism or tend to be hard on themselves may have grown up in environments where perfectionism was encouraged or where criticism was prevalent, leading them to adopt harsh standards for themselves.

Comparing oneself unfavourably to others—whether in terms of achievements, appearance, or abilities—can fuel feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy.

Experiences of trauma or abuse can also increase the likelihood of internalising negative messages about oneself, resulting in a persistent pattern of self-blame and self-condemnation. 

Additionally, societal ideals of success and beauty, for example, often promote unrealistic standards, causing us to constantly judge ourselves against unattainable benchmarks. 

Furthermore, we may think self-criticising will help to undo whatever bad thing(s) we have done, even though in reality, we can’t change the past as it has now passed – the past is passed and the future is just an imagining, so live in the present and forgive, let go and move on.

Also, maybe we were criticised a lot as a child, and we may (unconsciously or consciously) believe we deserve criticism. When we’re told we’re stupid or fat or lazy repeatedly, we start to believe it. And then, even after our parents, teachers or other critics from childhood no longer have our ear, we may find that we’ve taken over their job and repeat these criticisms to ourself to the extent that we normalise them.

It is important to note that these thoughts are not objective truth, even though they can feel that way. In order to push back against internalised negativity and criticism, we might try to assess the truth of critical thought as we have them. What did we do wrong? What specific standards were we trying to achieve? How would we feel if someone else made the same mistake? Will punishing ourself do anything to fix the situation?

What are the consequences of being self-critical?

Increased stress and anxiety: Constantly criticising ourselves can lead to heightened levels of stress and anxiety. Furthermore, ongoing internal pressure to meet unrealistic standards can create a perpetual cycle of worry and tension.

Physical health issues: The knock on effect of chronic stress and anxiety resulting from self-criticism can have negative effects on physical health as well, including increased risk of cardiovascular problems, weakened immune system, and other stress-related ailments.

 Low self-esteem: Continuous self-criticism often erodes self-esteem. When we focus solely on our flaws and mistakes, we begin to see ourselves in a negative light. This can lead to feelings of worthlessness or inadequacy.

 Depression: Persistent self-criticism is closely linked to depression. The constant barrage of negative self-talk can contribute to feelings of hopelessness, sadness, and a general lack of motivation or interest in activities.

Perfectionism: Self-criticism can fuel perfectionistic tendencies, where we feel we must meet impossibly high standards to feel worthy or accepted. Perfectionism can lead to a fear of failure and avoidance of challenges.

Impaired relationships: Excessive self-criticism can affect our relationships with others. People who are overly critical of themselves may become irritable, or may also be overly critical of others, leading to strained interpersonal dynamics.

Procrastination and avoidance behaviours: Fear of failure resulting from self-criticism can lead to avoidance behaviours and procrastination. We may avoid taking risks or pursuing goals because we fear we won’t meet tour own high standards.

 Difficulty accepting feedback: When we are overly self-critical, we may have difficulty accepting constructive criticism from others. We may interpret feedback as further evidence of our inadequacy, leading to defensiveness or withdrawal.

Addressing self-criticism

Addressing self-criticism often requires cultivating self-compassion and self-acceptance, challenging negative thoughts, setting realistic expectations, and seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals. Learning to treat ourself with kindness and understanding can help break the cycle of self-criticism and improve our overall mental well-being. 

What can we do if we want to become less self-critical?

We can begin by acknowledging that our self-criticism came about for a reason and has likely had some purpose in our life. So, we should refrain from criticising ourselves for being self-critical, which only makes the situation worse.

We can try to be curious about the feelings behind our self-criticism. Is there a part of us that is feeling scared, angry, ashamed, and/or sad? We can try to have compassion for those feelings.

We can do our best to pay attention to our inner dialogue and notice when it becomes harsh and critical. Sometimes, when we’re feeling angry and anxious, it’s partly because the voice in our head has become attacking, so it helps to be mindful and not react.

We can challenge our critical self-talk. For example, “It’s not true that my performance/presentation/class was terrible. I could tell that some people were enjoying it”.

We can try to be more compassionate with ourselves and talk to ourselves as we might a friend. For example, “It’s really difficult to feel that I worked so hard on something and it still didn’t go as well as I’d have liked. It’s understandable to be feeling upset about this.”

Try and transform self-criticism into self-acceptance.

However, the road from self-criticism to self-acceptance can be a tough one. It requires us to challenge our negative thoughts and consider that we’ve been relying on distorted thoughts, inaccurate beliefs, and unrealistic expectations for years. It requires us to discard the notions that self-criticism is helpful and deserved.

Here some ways to get started:

Look for positives and cultivate a more balanced view of yourself: Intentionally notice your strengths, the things you do right, your progress, and effort – take time to congratulate yourself. This exercise works best when you take a few minutes daily to write down the positives, reflect on them, and let them sink in.

Challenge your inner-critic. Not all of our thoughts are accurate and you can weed out the inaccurate ones by being inquisitive and questioning whether they are true. When you have a self-critical thought, ask yourself these questions in an effort to create more accurate thoughts:

·      How do I know this thought is true? 

·      What evidence do I have to support it? / What evidence do I have to refute it?

·      Is my thought/belief based on facts or opinions?

·      Is this thought helpful?

·      Am I overgeneralising or jumping to conclusions?

·      Is this what I want to think about myself?

·      What would I say to myself if I was more accepting and self-compassionate?

Practice using helpful self-talk. Below are some examples, which might be useful. Please do feel they can be changed to meet your needs:

·      I don’t need to be perfect.

·      Everyone makes mistakes. That’s how we learn and grow. If we never made mistakes, we would never try anything new.

·      This is stressful. What do I need right now?

·      I’m not stupid (or any negative adjective), I am just stressed.

With lots of practice, you will be able to replace self-criticism with compassionate self-talk. But in the beginning, you may not notice a self-critical thought until after you’re had it. Over time being more mindful will help you to notice when you are being negative and criticising yourself.

When you notice that you are criticising yourself, practice self-compassion as a way to teach yourself how you want to think. You might gently say to yourself, “What I meant to say/think is that it’s OK to make a mistake and/or say what I said. I am not stupid; everyone has forgotten something important at home, everyone has said something they wish they hadn’t. I don’t’ need to make it harder by beating myself up about it.” Or “It doesn’t matter that I look different to other people, my body is unique and special and does amazing things for me, it is a special vehicle I have been gifted for this lifetime and I am happy living in it and taking care of it, even if it doesn’t look like how society tells me it should look, but then nor does anyone else’s really, not naturally”.

Tell yourself what you needed to hear as a child. Another variation of the exercise above is to talk to your inner-child. Think about a younger version of yourself — the little girl or boy who suffered through criticism from others. What did s/he long to hear? What words would have given her/him comfort and reassurance? What would have built her/him up rather than tear her/him down? Here are some examples:

·      You deserve to be treated with kindness.

·      You are lovable just the way you are.

·      Your body is beautiful and strong.

·      You can count on me. I’ll always have your back.

·      You are not lazy, you have your own pace and it is your right to live your life as you choose.

·      You are absolutely not a failure as there is no perfect so nothing to fail against.

·      I love you.

·      You don’t have to accept other people’s opinions as facts. 

·      There is no perfect.

·      It’s OK to make a mistake otherwise how can we learn and grow

·      Embrace your differences, they make you the wonderful soul you are.

Focus on self-acceptance rather than self-improvement. There is definitely a place for self-improvement, but when we focus on self-improvement exclusively, we set ourselves up for self-criticism and never feeling good enough. Although it may seem backward, we actually need to accept ourselves first and then we can improve. In other words, self-acceptance isn’t the result of self-improvement. Self-acceptance makes self-improvement possible.

Self-acceptance doesn’t mean that I don’t want or need to change. It means that I accept myself as I am in this moment; I accept that I have perceived limitations and flaws. I still want to learn and grow and improve, but I also accept who I am right now.

When you start accepting yourself, you become less self-critical and can start to create a more loving relationship with yourself. And when you start accepting rather than criticising yourself, you can change. You will become calmer and feel safer. You will likely becomes  less defensive, and be more open to learning and accepting feedback.

Accept your humanness and that you can only ever make choices based on your level of consciousness in any one moment given your psychology, mental, emotional and mental states in that moment too. There are no mistakes, just opportunities to learn and begin anew. Let go of regret, forgive, move on, love and follow your joy.

So to end, if you have found this helpful and want to explore further then book yourself a Reiki treatment with me, or perhaps explore the Spiritual Life Coaching as this can help enormously in shifting old patterns and finding a kinder voice and inner narrative - and therefore gifting freedom. Be gentle on this wax!

Love Emma x 

There are always two sides to every coin

These are interesting times as cosmic forces usher in more change. We are being asked to go deeper still, to seek out the wounding and harm done, to heal and set ourselves free so that our future is not based on what has happened previously and all the various conditioning and limited beliefs, which arose because of this.

I have been deep diving with Brandon Bay’s The Journey, a technique I used many, many years ago now to heal ovarian cysts, which turned out to be the result of internal angst towards another pupil in my year at school who ended up with the boy of my dreams. Or so I thought at the tender age of 15. It was heart breaking, truly, because I have always had a tendency to fantasise about life, one of those dreamers, which inevitably leads to repeated heartache because reality and my fantastic dream world rarely match up!

The recent ‘journeys’ with a Brandon Bay’s facilitator have been intense; the first one caused me to have a healing crisis which found me in bed for 24 hours as all my cells went through a significant releasing. The second was kinder. But both served to remind me that the body keeps score and that we are our own worst enemy in the narrative and stories we tell ourselves and the limiting beliefs that we make so in our lives, limiting our potential for love, truth, peace and trust.

The first journey with its significant healing crisis, took me back to university days and the intense homesickness and loneliness I felt. It is so easy to dismiss these experiences, but I missed my family enormously and felt anxious for a lot of it with a deep lingering fear of not getting a degree at the end of it. I have no doubt that the anxiety and fear promoted the eating disorder which I had developed during Sixth Form as a way of coping with the pressure of A-Levels and the fear of going to university in the first place, which you can read more about in my book From Darkness Comes Light.

I knew something was amiss as I kept getting the same repeated dream and waking up in a minor panic that I had failed my degree. I never did of course, I got a 2.1, but the fear was still there, all these years on. It never ceases to amaze me how much our dreaming points the direction to whatever lays unresolved within us.

Furthermore, it was helpful healing this wounding in my body, which had settled into my stomach with this increasingly frequent feeling of emptiness, and the pain in my heart around any form of separation, since gone. The emotions which needed processing were intense; sadness, grief, rage, confusion, and enmeshed within all of this were unhelpful limiting beliefs and fear around separation in its many guises and it was such a relief to finally get to the root, which has made life infinitely easier since as the previous triggers are no longer triggering.

The second journey also took me back to university, which had quite a profound effect on me in so many ways, not least the intensity of eating disorder but using alcohol, cigarettes and cannabis to overcome my shyness, which was so not me, but became so simply to cope and feel as if I fitted in. The wounding this time though was around unrequited love and the deep heart pain this caused, as I watched my best male friend since age 4 (who had also chosen Swansea for his degree, albeit at the college rather than the university), fall in love with a beautiful Spanish student who later became his wife.

My dreaming of our life together was shattered, and I internalised this in unhealthy ways around my lack of lovability and my non-deserving of joy, because clearly I wasn’t worthy, given that he had chosen another woman. Inherent within all this was a confusion around the nature of our friendship and a feeling of betrayal.

To uncover all of this was uncomfortable, the heart pain felt very real, like a literal stabbing (or how I imagine a stabbing to feel), let alone the range of emotions which accompanied it, from sadness to anger, to frustration, to rage, to more sadness, to betrayal, to grief, and finally to recognition of our innocence and from there to forgiveness and release. There is a lightness that has arisen since.

Again, I am amazed how much the body remembers all that has happened and lays unresolved inside us, pushing to be heard and seen, so that it can let go of its unnecessary carrying. I am also amazed how we have these life experiences and depending on our nature, we either process them or we don’t. More often than not we don’t give ourselves the space, or we simply don’t know how to go about it so they lay unprocessed. I wrote about this in my book From Darkness Comes Light, but I prided myself back then in never showing emotion, because I thought that was the way.

With a sun in Cancer and a moon in Pisces, I am primarily water, a pool of emotion at times, so to hold onto it all and pretend I was OK was a huge wounding, which of course led to intense bouts of depression, suicidal at times, let alone the PMS, which plagued me for years. I can see so clearly now that my whole being was saturated in unprocessed negative emotions and negative self talk - it was quite inevitable that my heart armoured up and my spirit flagged.

It’s not just the holding of emotions that is the problem, albeit it is, because emotions are energy in motion and if we don’t allow them their movement and expression then they create energetic blocks in the body which can lead to dis-ease if not released. And this to the extent that stuck emotions cause more disease that any virus or bacteria, simply because of the negative impact on our energy field (which leads to tiredness and lack of vitality) and weakens our immune system, which then makes us more susceptible to foreign bodies.

The other problem is that every emotional holding also brings with it a negative thought and unhelpful limiting belief. It is this which often blows my mind simply because we really do create our reality by the thoughts we think. Not that we can necessarily change these thoughts. Those who meditate and try and watch their thoughts will know how they arise spontaneously, endlessly and randomly so that we have little choice but to think them. The difference comes though, when we notice them and stop giving them energy. So if our thought is “I am not good enough”, then we start to cultivate the awareness (become conscious) of this thought as it arises and challenge it, so that over time it stops arising, or if it does arise, we merely laugh at it without buying into it as a truth and making it so.

This isn’t easy of course, because many of these thoughts and the limiting beliefs that have arisen are deep in our psyche, unconscious then, and our behaviours surrounding them are normalised. I was having this conversation with a client yesterday, about how our lack of kindness to self is often very subtle, to the extent that we don’t even realise that we are being unkind to ourselves, not least in terms of the internal voice and the way we might criticise ourselves for our perceived imperfections (because of our false belief that there is a perfect), but also in the decisions and choices we make in our life.

I had thought my internal voice was kind, until this latest journey, when I realised the subtly of the negativity and the unhealthy limiting beliefs that had been laid down almost thirty years ago now still, on some level, play out in my life. These are not uncommon beliefs, most of us have them embedded in our psyche from our religious indoctrination let alone societal conditioning and our educational and cultural systems. We have been fed the idea that there is a good/bad, right/wrong, worth/worthless, perfect/imperfect, pass/fail without appreciating that there are always two sides to every coin, which means we are no more good than we are bad.

Yet it has been helpful for society to allow us to believe that there is a good and a bad, for example, because then we self-police, which makes it easier for us to be controlled. Furthermore, it keeps us trapped in this idea that there is something wrong with us, that we are never enough, that we are somehow flawed and all these beliefs therefore keep us disempowered and more controllable, it’s a clever and vicious cycle.

At the end of the day an experience is just an experience, life is as it is, some of it wonderful, some of it funny, some of it sad, some of it challenging and some of it just plain boring. It is how we relate to it, how we define it, how we narrate it and make it into a story, how we create beliefs based on it, which creates the harm. This is where we have choice. Always we have choice about how we respond and judge a certain situation and how we then experience our life.

We have to be mindful of our judgement system too as we often only hear one side of a story and we forget that there are various ways of looking at a situation - there are always two sides to every coin. To be OK with whatever is arising knowing that there is always more to it than we realise can help enormously.

This was highlighted to me in a book I was reading recently, where a man was caught sexually assaulting a child. Everyone thought he was very bad and reacted very negatively towards him, full of judgement. Then they learned that he had been sexually assaulted as a child and they saw another side to him, they felt sorry for him and had more compassion. this story is a helpful reminder that we have to be careful how we judge our experiences and the experiences of others because without doubt the universe will draw in opportunities for us to opinion differently.

There is this wonderful parable which highlights beautifully the benefit of holding the middle ground:

There once was an old farmer. Every day, the farmer used his horse to help work his fields and keep his farm healthy.

But one day, the horse ran away. All the villagers came by and said, “We're so sorry to hear this. This is such bad luck.”

But the farmer responded, “Bad luck. Good luck. Who knows?”

The villagers were confused, but decided to ignore him. A few weeks went by and then one afternoon, while the farmer was working outside, he looked up and saw his horse running toward him. But the horse was not alone. The horse was returning to him with a whole herd of horses. So now the farmer had 10 horses to help work his fields.

All the villagers came by to congratulate the farmer and said, “Wow! This is such good luck!”

But the farmer responded, “Good luck. Bad luck. Who knows?

A few weeks later, the farmer's son came over to visit and help his father work on the farm. While trying to tame one of the horses, the farmer’s son fell and broke his leg.

The villagers came by to commiserate and said, “How awful. This is such bad luck.”

Just as he did the first time, the farmer responded, “Bad luck. Good luck. Who knows?”

A month later, the farmer’s son was still recovering. He wasn’t able to walk or do any manual labor to help his father around the farm.

A regiment of the army came marching through town conscripting every able-bodied young man to join them. When the regiment came to the farmer’s house and saw the young boy's broken leg, they marched past and left him where he lay.

Of course, all the villagers came by and said, “Amazing! This is such good luck. You're so fortunate.”

And you know the farmer’s response by now…

"Bad luck. Good luck. Who knows?"

One of my beautifully wise students, who wishes to remain nameless, sent me this poem that she had written for her children, which further highlights the idea that there are two sides to everything:

When darkness falls and your light has dimmed

Remember life requires darkness and light

Remember good things grow in the dark, just as you did

Without distractions you have time to focus and reflect

Know darkness as your friend and not your enemy

Don’t fear it, as it is necessary to grow your heart and soul

Know the greatest compassion is fashioned in the darkest of corners.

Your life is rich with different hues, shades and colours and by making friends with the dark your truest self will become known to you.

Rest easy in the dark and know this too shall pass and a life worth living is yours…!

Personally, I have found that the dark times are actually the most fruitful. Those times where we feel lost and empty, those times when we don’t know which way to turn, when the world we knew is dropping away and we haven’t yet found a hand hold for the new life to be lived, when the stepping stones have disappeared, these are often the most fruitful times of our life.

Many are being asked to let go as we flow into spring. The moon and cosmic forces are really encouraging change as we move towards the major lunar standstill in June. We can expect the unexpected. Currently we are being cleared out, made empty, so that there is space for the new to enter into our lives. This is uncomfortable for reasons explained in the previous paragraph but essentially because we have a really hard time setting into the unknown and the uncertain.

But there is no going back! If you are reading this then you are in process and on this path, knowing that life cannot continue as it has been, with negative self-relating and limited core beliefs leading to much of the same - I am reminded of that marvellous quote from Einstein, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. Our soul seeks freedom and our heart seeks greater expression. Joy is our birthright, if only we could open to it and get beyond our guilt and shame and other lower vibrational emotions that prevent us being all of who we are in this lifetime.

It is worth remembering that we have choice - we always have choice. But sometimes we don’t realise we have choice and this is where spiritual practice is so helpful as it often shines a light into the shadows, helping us to become conscious of that which lays unconscious, to realise the many ways that we restrict our choice and buy into the illusion, and to do something about it - to set ourselves free so that we can truly realise our potential.

It is this - this drive for greater consciousness and the freedom it gifts, to truly know my own truth and the truth of this universe, which inspires me in my sharing of yoga, Reiki and Ayurveda. If it wasn’t for these practices then I am sure I would be dead by now, or living a mundane life. Instead, as I heard towards my 50th birthday in June, I feel truly grateful for my life, for all the dark and challenging times and the lessons learned. I hope that I get to enjoy many more years of living life to its fullest and diving deeper into love and truth with all the various obstacles and challenges this presents.

I am eternally grateful to all of you who trust in this process and show up time and time again, courageously delving deeper into your shadows so that you can live a truer and more heart-felt and soul led life, shinning increasingly brightly and lightening up those around you too.

This is how we will create positive change in the world. Not by changing the outer, but by going deeper inwards. All spiritual philosophies acknowledge this. It is only be changing the inner that we affect and therefore change the outer. And the moon and the cosmic forces are supporting this - asking us to go deeper still, heal, forgive, let go, and show that there is always another way.

We are also being asked to heal our relationship with the universe to - to appreciate and embody, to rest into the fact that it is a kind and fair universe if only we could let go of our conditioning which tells us otherwise. Most of us have been taught to distrust it, to confuse it with humanity’s idea of right/wrong and good/bad, which keeps us trapped in the cycle of judgement and fear. Remember, on this too we have choice.

It is safe to trust in the universe. It never lets us down. We can never get it wrong or fail. All of our challenging experiences offer a lesson and a blessing, to give ourselves a hard time is pointless, and yet we do it, because of our conditioning. We have a choice of the beliefs we believe, of the words we use to communicate to ourselves and others, of the actions we take and the manner in which the effect of this ripples through the universe. It is a benevolent universe, it is only your mind that judges and makes it one way or the other, good or bad.

For those of you between worlds, stay centred in the not knowing and the uncertain. This is not a time to try to force things to happen. It might feel uncomfortable but it will pass. My advice is to dig deeper to practice, hug a tree, get on your mat, enjoy some Reiki, eat well, sleep well and get outside as much as you can.

Until next time, enjoy the wane.

Love Emma x

That annoying thing called imposter syndrome

I have many talented clients who are keen to offer Reiki or other holistic and trauma-based therapies, teach yoga and/or write books, but let the imposter syndrome get in the way.

This is a syndrome which essentially tells you that you are not good enough to offer whatever it is that you are wanting to offer, that you don’t know enough, aren’t clever enough, expert enough, knowledgeable enough, that you don’t have the right qualifications, that you won’t be able to do a good job, that compares you to others and concludes that there’s too much competition anyway and that you will never be able to make a go of it etc.

But really when it boils down to it, it shows that you just care too much what others think of you and that you don’t recognise your own magnificence.

It also shows that you don’t trust spirit and/or have faith in whatever it was that gifted the idea in the first place.

And that you are Ok about selling out on your heart.

It might also indicate that you have forgotten that we co-create in this life and it is about so much more than you.

We let our ego get involved.

This is the self-depreciating ego which tells us that we are not loveable, or good enough, or enough of this and that, or too much, or whatever other negative self-depreciating inner narrative we repeat over and over again and make manifest in our lives simply because we are always seeking validation of this negativity and embedding it deeper into our psyche and belief system.

If we look for trouble, we will see only trouble.

If we look for love, we will see only love.

If we look for validation of our uselessness, we will see it everywhere.

It is all about perspective.

And we have a choice.

We can keep limiting ourselves with all this negative crap, or we can choose to shift our mentality to something far more positive and expansive and live our best life.

It’s not our fault. We have been conditioned since birth to question ourselves, to doubt ourselves and to be down on ourselves.

We are constantly criticised for not being intelligent enough, or quick enough on the sports field, or arty enough, or musical, or thoughtful enough, or kind enough or polite enough, or not wearing the right clothes, or saying the right thing, or walking down the corridor correctly, or sitting still, or any of the other many, many ways that we are told how to be and judged for behaving differently.

No wonder so many are so tired.

This trying to be what others want us to be and this caring what others think and the hyper vigilance this requires, is really rather exhausting. It creates so much insecurity, anxiety and depression. It causes us to lose our centre, close our hearts and, at times, think we are negatively losing our mind.

Consumerism thrives on this insecurity. It thrives on our externalising of our worth. Of caring too much what others think. People make millions selling products that we are told will help us feel better about ourselves. Even in yoga, it has become all about the building or the mat or the clothes we wear, and this when yoga is absolutely an internal practice.

But that aside, it is crazy isn’t it, to base our self-esteem and sense of self on other people’s fleeting thoughts. Watch your own mind and ask yourself, “what thought will I think next?”, and watch the constant stream of thoughts that appear from the ether in all their randomness. Thoughts come and go. The trouble is we give them far too much energy and believe that they are a concrete representation of reality. They aren’t. So why on earth we care what other people are thinking about us or the opinions they hold one us (which are just thoughts) is quite beyond me.

If we don’t care about our own thoughts - and we really shouldn’t, especially those self depreciating ones, then why on earth should we care about other people’s thoughts? And this to the detriment of our experience and quality of life.

Because when we care too much, it stops us fulfilling our potential, it limits us and it keeps us stuck. And slowly a part of us begins to die, to give up, to feel hopeless, to accept our miserable lot. We close down to excitement and joy, we let our head drop, we drink more wine, eat more junk food, watch more TV, spend more time meaninglessly scrolling through social media, we might manifest illness and we tell ourselves all sorts of stories to justify why we won’t bother trying to move our life forwards and step into our power, share our gifts with the world, just yet.

Sometimes we are scared of failing. Or scared of our potential success.

Somewhere though, we have forgotten that there is a bigger picture.

You see spirit works through us. It wants to co-create with us. It needs us to be the channel and vehicle to bring more heart and soul onto this planet. The trouble is we block this flow by getting in our own way.

We make it all about us, rather than the people who may benefit.

We forget our place in the cosmos.

Maybe I am lucky. I didn’t intend to teach yoga or Reiki or offer Ayurveda. I only signed up for my yoga teacher training course because I wanted to immerse myself in yoga. Together with Reiki it had quite literally saved my life and I wanted to learn all I could about it. I also wanted everyone else on the planet to practice yoga because I knew how much it might help to ease our individual and collective suffering.

It was the same with Reiki. My Reiki Master had to really encourage me along to the first attunement session as I didn’t feel good enough. I was quite sure that the Reiki wouldn't work for me and when I was the only one in the room who didn’t feel a thing during the attunement itself and certainly didn’t see colours or have a sense of energy beings, i concluded that I definitely wasn’t good enough.

But alas a seed was sown and I found myself attending the Level Two training. It was the pendulum dowsing that got me really. I just couldn't believe that it actually worked for me. It was life changing. I slowly started to connect with, and trust, my intuition. It helped that I had by then started receiving spiritual life coaching using Reiki and the Reiki had been working its magic in my life, this to the extent that I wanted everyone else on this planet to benefit.

It was the same with Ayurveda. It felt like magic. I couldn’t quite believe how changing my diet in such an ancient way and taking some medicinal herbs could create such a profound difference in my energy levels and my relationship with myself. The pre-menstrual symptoms which had plagued me for years dissipated. The cysts on my ovaries healed. My disordered eating eased. The overwhelm and accompanying depressive moments abated. I was sleeping better. My digestive system was consistent. I wanted to learn as much as I could. I wanted everyone to try Ayurveda.

And so I ended up teaching yoga and Reiki and becoming an Ayurvedic lifestyle and nutrition consultant simply because I wanted others to experience the benefits for themselves.

I felt as if I had been given these incredibly sacred gifts and the only way I can truly thank the powers that be, is to share these gifts with others. My teachings and sharing then come from a place of deep gratitude.

Not only that, but I realise spirit is just moving through me. I don’t own any of it. Even Beinspired is not mine. It came in at just the right time and it has shaped itself.

The moments when I take myself too seriously, make it all about me, or try in some way to control things, especially Beinspired, is the time it all goes to pot. That I have learned the hard way.

And yes of course, I too have suffered imposter syndrome. Every time I offer something new, I can feel a creeping of anxiety and start questioning my ability and hear myself saying something like, “who do you think you are offering spiritual life coaching, do you really feel you have the qualifications/training/knowledge to help coach others spiritually, and can you honestly charge people for what you are offering?”

I hear those thoughts.

But then I also know that the idea to offer spiritual life coaching was not about me, it was about the people who may benefit from my sharing my passion for yoga, Reiki and Ayurveda, and all the many spiritual practices I have explored these last 20 off years. That is not supposed to sound arrogant, as if I am better than anyone else, I am not. But with all that I offer, it just suddenly comes in as a possibility, I haven’t gone searching for it.

The yoga teacher training course was the first of its kind and arrived on my penultimate day in Byron Bay when I was wondering what to do next with my life, but knowing that I wanted to continue immersing myself in yoga (you can read more about this in Namaste and From Darkness Comes Light). The Reiki came in by encouragement from my Reiki Master. The Ayurvedic training was encouraged by my Ayurvedic doctor. A part of me was cynical - they just want my money. But I know now, as I do this to others, that it is never about the money, it's an intuitive nudge, because you know that other person will benefit - if I have been badgering you to come to class, or do a Reiki attunement or consult with me for Ayurveda, this is the reason, something is telling me that you will benefit!

In many respects I have felt that I have had little choice. My yoga teacher told me to go back to Guernsey and start teaching yoga. My Reiki Master encouraged me to establish Beinspired and start offering Reiki. My Ayurvedic doctor was super keen for me to offer Ayurveda and did all she could to help me. These people are conscious, they have benefitted themselves from these spiritual practices and they also see the bigger picture - that we are co-creating with the divine, we are playing our role in positively shifting the vibration on this planet. We have incarnated at this time in history for this very reason.

So each time I come up against imposter syndrome, I acknowledge it and sit with it. Where is it coming from? What is the fear? And how is my heart feeling?

And as long as it still feels aligned, my heart sings, my intuition is nodding, then I’ll go for it anyway.

I’ll put on my big girl leggings and I’ll face my inner demon.

I’ll trust in whatever it was that gifted me the idea or the nudge in the first place.

I have learned a ton of lessons along the way.

At my first yoga class no one turned up. I went home and cried on my Dad’s shoulder. But I didn’t give up because something was telling me that I just needed to be patient, that Rome was not built in a day, that we all have to start somewhere, that it takes time for people to find their way to you.

And they do.

I have learned to trust in that.

That the right people will find you. That the universe will connect you.

Sure, it helps to advertise, to make people aware you exist. But people will come when the time is right - and for both of you, because it’s a two way process - I learn something from every single client and students who has entered my life.

I have also learned that you can advertise as much as you like, but if you have some resistance within you because you are letting imposter syndrome get in the way then people will not find you because on some level you are blocking them, you are also manifesting the validation you need that you are not good enough so let’s back out now while you can. I have sene this happen lots of times, people make it all about them again.

We have to be careful with our thoughts as they do create our reality. So shift your thoughts. And pray. Pray for assistance. For the most perfect situation for all parties.

I have also learned that we are not in control.

And that we should never base our self worth on external validation such as the number of students in our class or our busy schedule.

Just like we should never look to someone else to make us feel whole.

Or look to love to save us.

Or someone else to make us feel safe.

Or assume we need a community or tribe to feel as if we belong.

Our primary relationship in this lifetime is with ourselves. That much I have learned.

We come in on our own and we will leave on our own. This is the journey of OUR soul.

I know this with absolute certainty.

We can hear the powers that be if we are still enough, quiet enough, gentle enough.

We just need to learn to trust in what we hear, and cultivate greater faith in ourselves and in spirit in the process.

We need to cultivate self-belief. We have to learn to love and accept ourselves. This takes hard work. No one else can do it for us. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, you cannot buy this. Sure others can help you, but only you can really make the inner changes.

We need to switch off and switch in. People love eating energy. Protect your energy. Don’t give it away or let others steal it.

Faith is our protection.

Discernment is our weapon.

I have also learned that we should never have an attachment to outcome. If we do, we will never write that book, or run that course, or offer that treatment.

We do what we do for the love of it, for the sheer joy of the creative process.

We leave others to receive our offering in their own way. We are not responsible for this.

We have to let go of our idea of success or healing or whatever it may be.

We cannot control outcome.

We cannot make someone better if they don’t want to be better.

And we need to remember that we don’t all think and feel the same. So just because we might feel a certain way after say a yoga class or a Reiki treatment, doesn't mean that others will feel similarly. Some may like it, some may not.

And the other lesson I have learned is not to personalise everything. Someone doesn’t come back to yoga. Big deal. That’s their choice. Maybe that one session was all they needed to move them forwards in their life, maybe they can’t get a baby sitter, maybe they have to work late, maybe yoga is just not for them. We don’t need to make up stories that revolve around us, “oh I don’t think they like my style of teaching, oh I am such a rubbish yoga teacher blah blah blah.

Who cares!

Do what you do, offer what you offer, for the sheer love of it.

Stop caring what others think.

And put your energy to loving yourself more instead. Of being your greatest friend.

I have spent thousands of pounds on various trainings, workshops, courses and treatments over the years, but one of my best friend’s gave me the greatest advice for free. He told me to stop caring what others think. No one had ever told me that. Not one single person. or if they did, I didn’t hear them. I started putting this into practice and I couldn’t believe how deep the conditioning around caring what others think. Every time I was triggered, when I traced it back to source, I realised it was always about caring what others thought. I cannot tell you how liberating it has been to work with this and stop caring. It automatically tightens boundaries and helps you value yourself - and - it increases interestingly your compassion not least for self, but for others, because you see how much they suffer by caring too much what others think.

To the extent they don’t live their best life.

And this, to me, is a real tragedy.

So too the fact that they are denying others the benefit of their gifts by not sharing them - it’s like a form of stealing.

If you are reading this, then the chances are that you too have something to share. That you have a passion for yoga or writing or holistic therapies or whatever it may be and that your life has been touched positively to the extent that you would like others to benefit from what you have to share, be that your healing hands, your story or just your ability to listen.

So my advice is to share it. Notice the self-depreciating and limiting thoughts and do it anyway. Dig deep. Find the courage. Trust in whatever it was that gave you the idea. Cultivate faith. Pray for assistance along the way. Please don’t deny others the benefit of whatever gift you are here to share.

If it helps then I am happy to work with you to move you forwards, but remember that I cannot do it for you. You have to do it for yourself.

To help others.

To liberate yourself. Fly free.

To raise the vibration on this planet.

And boy do we need it!

Love Emma x

Curious about Reiki

I love Reiki, it has been without doubt the most positive thing I have ever brought into my life. From the very first Reiki session something changed and it has kept positively changing ever since then. Reiki changes lives in positive ways, it helps us to grow as more conscious and compassionate human beings. Even one Reiki session can change things, but it is the attunements that really changed things for me. I wasn’t always aware of it at the time, as these things can take time to integrate, but any attunement was soon followed by a significant change in my life.

Recently I have been furthering my Reiki studies and was reminded of the manner in which the natural intelligence of the Reiki energy connects us to those with whom we need to connect and invites in often mind-blowing synchronicities and coincidence. There’s been a Bengal theme since deepening my studies, random encounters with Bengal cats and a particularly random meeting with a previously unknown Reiki attuned Bengal cat owner at 6am on the Spring equinox in one of our local dolmens aligned to the spring equinox sunrise. 

This after a strange old week of other coincidental stuff occurring, like me buying Elijah a large Pooh Bear fluffy toy from the local hospice shop and days later the Reiki guide, producing the exact same Pooh Bear in one of her videos! Too much of a coincidence to be ignored! This is the thing with Reiki though, it changes things, brings in more magic to life, helps us to see things differently, directs you on a more aligned path and heals all at the same time. 

Fire has also been a theme this week, off the back of reading the really inspiring The Children’s Forest by Mac Macartney and more work with my Ayurvedic doctor. Fire really cleanses and shifts things. We acknowledged the spring equinox with a fire at the stone circles at my folks’ house with some friends and tea, bringing more light in now as we burn up more of that we don’t now need. I’m curious to see how the energy settles the next few days, but I have a feeling we have to keep stepping up and moving into unknown territory and will be encouraged to do so too. 

Reiki helps us to let go and find new ways to be, it nourishes and calms the soul and allows us to hear it’s voice more clearly, nudging us to make changes, go somewhere different, get out of bed at silly times of the morning to see a sunrise, or stay up late to dance with the moon. It takes us into the sea, onto the earth, doing some stuff we never thought we might do. I really truly believe that everyone should have Reiki in their lives and I have a few ideas of how we might make it more accessible to you, but we’ve got offerings, treatments, attunements, online Reiki share and the forthcoming Safer Event. So if you’re tempted, heed the call, it’s time!

I’ve put together some info about Reiki below. Fortunately it is becoming more well-known and accepted these days, not quite so esoteric as it was when I discovered it back in 2004. Reiki has supported me through all my life challenges since then, and while there have been moments where it has asked me to dig deep, go to those dark places inside, it has always helped me to pop through the other side, lighter, brighter and clearer, so that I wholeheartedly welcome healing crises because as horrible as they are at the time, they are an absolutely necessary stage of our healing and evolution as conscious beings. Anyhow here you go:

What can Reiki do?
Reiki works with the energetic, physical, spiritual and emotional aspects of the individual to address imbalances on all levels. The reason you may wish to experience a Reiki session include:

• General balancing

• Clearing emotional blocks

• Physical pain

• Increasing clarity

• Issues with life

• Personal spiritual development

How is Reiki different from other therapies?

Reiki is holistic in its approach and addresses not only the symptoms an individual experiences but the root cause of the imbalance as well. Reiki helps to restore the body’s natural ability to heal and create balance.

How do I know this is right for me?

People who have a nagging feeling that something in their life or body mind is out of balance or they feel like they are struggling within themselves and their environment usually find Reiki at the perfect time for them. The fact that you are reading this blog is likely a sign that your body/mind/soul is ready for healing and to experience growth.

What exactly is Reiki energy?

The Japanese word ‘Reiki’ means ‘universal life force energy’.  It refers to an ancient hands-on healing art developed by Dr Mikao Usui in Japan in the early 1900’s for the passing of healing energy onto others and personal spiritual development. 

Eastern medicine has always recognised and worked with this energy, which flows through all living things and is vital to well-being. Known as ‘ki’ in Japan, ‘chi’ in China and ‘prana’ in India. Acupuncture, T’ai chi and Yoga are also based on the free-flow of this energy in a person.

Reiki can be likened to a free flowing river.  This river is like energy flowing easily down through the body.  Occasionally a pebble or a rock may fall into that river making the flow of water a little more difficult.  

These pebbles can be compared to human emotions such as worry, guilt, sadness, fear, shame, anxiety and anger, with each pebble building one on top of the other.  Soon there is only a trickle of water running in that once free-flowing river and at this point physical pain may also be experienced.  By receiving Reiki more energy is offered to the body.  This extra energy is like a flood that washes down through our rivers removing and dissolving the obstacles in its way, such as the trapped emotions that have caused our loss of wellbeing and often kept us stuck. 

What to expect during a Reiki session

You will lie fully clothed on a bed (on the floor or a treatment couch) with the option of being covered with a blanket. You will be encouraged to relax as best you can. The practitioner will place her hands on various parts of your body and channel Reiki to you. Reiki might be experienced as heat or cold, tingling, or nothing at all! It usually induces a state of deep relaxation, which can be healing in itself. The session generally lasts one hour. 

Interview with Emma for Resonance Magazine about IVF

Interview for Resonance Magazine with Reiki Master, Emma Després, author of Dancing with the Moon, about her spiritual journey through IVF.

What prompted you to write your book, Dancing with the Moon?

I was pregnant at the time, and I was aware that I was seeing an increasing number of ladies for Reiki and also at yoga classes who were experiencing fertility problems.  I would often share my story in the hope that it might help them, but decided that instead of repeating myself I would blog about it instead. These blog postings seem to take on their own energy, and it crossed my mind that I might turn it into a book.  However, at that point I didn’t have an ending.  Then my second son was born, and the manner in which he arrived into the world gave me the perfect ending.  I realised immediately after his birth that I had a book – I just needed to finish writing it!

What is the book about?

The book is essentially about my spiritual journey through IVF and on into pregnancy, birth and motherhood.  Each stage presented its own challenges, from failed IVF, complications during pregnancy, births that didn’t go as intended and the shock of motherhood!  It talks about how much Reiki and yoga both helped support me enormously.

In what way did Reiki support you?

I’ve been a Reiki Master since 2006, so Reiki is very much a part of my daily life and I’m eternally grateful for the day Reiki came into my life.  During the IVF, it was a true blessing to be able to channel Reiki to myself during all the treatment, not least to heal from all the injections but also to help to grow good quality, Reiki infused eggs in preparation for egg collection, and then to channel Reiki to recover from egg collection and prepare my womb to receive the embryos, and then to channel Reiki to the embryos minutes after they had been implanted into my womb.

Because of working with energy through Reiki and yoga, it was an absolute blessing to be able to feel the energy of the embryos growing inside me.  This was a source of immense comfort to me during the rather challenging twelve-day wait to see whether the IVF has worked. It continued to be a huge comfort through miscarriage scares and other challenges presented during my two pregnancies – especially the “do not worry” principle.

The ability to channel Reiki to myself was also a huge comfort when both pregnancies ended in Caesarean sections due to complications.  The Reiki really helped my body to heal from the surgery much quicker than if I hadn’t been able to give myself Reiki. 

I still accredit Reiki to helping my youngest son after being born six weeks early and needing oxygen in Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit.  As soon as I was able to touch him, I placed my hands on his chest and channelled Reiki, and I am absolutely convinced that it was doing this as often as I could those first few days that meant he was strong enough to breathe without oxygen much earlier than any of the medical staff expected.  

Furthermore, Reiki helped me to come to terms with a failed round of IVF, and to recognise that there is a bigger picture to all life and everything has a timing. Plus, it helped me to be a much more empathic Reiki practitioner, I wish every lady going through IVF could channel Reiki to themselves, and feel the energy of the growing embryo.  I also wish every baby in NICU could receive Reiki – plus their parents, as it can be a potentially stressful experience.

Has Reiki inspired your writing?

Yes, enormously! I’m truly passionate about Reiki and writing. Reiki has shaped my life in so many ways and I mention it many times in my book, because it has been such an integral part of my journey. I don’t believe I would have written the book if it wasn’t for Reiki helping me to step further into authenticity and empower me to believe in myself and fulfil my dreams. Furthermore, there is no doubt that Reiki has helped me to heal me and connect more fully with my creativity. 

Dancing with the Moon is available to buy in paper back and ebook at www.amazon.co.uk.

Supporting Guernsey Mind through yoga nidra and Reiki

Thank you so much beautiful people for helping to raise £308.50 for Guernsey Mind through yoga nidra and Reiki this evening.

I’m probably biased but I just love a room full of people channelling and receiving Reiki, it’s powerful stuff! I also love sharing a yoga nidra, so it was the perfect evening for me, especially as I taught yoga first too. The Reiki share was a particular highlight, where we linked palms and shared Reiki around the circle, my hands were buzzing!!!

Thank you very much to my helpers too, so much appreciated.

Sending love and Reiki.

Emma xxx

We are creating a Beinspired Reiki community finally!

I really appreciated all you lovely souls joining me on Zoom this evening for our first Beinspired Reiki share with guided meditation and some breath awareness. It was certainly a potent, grounding, powerful and connecting experience for me. I am going to make it a weekly thing for however long...sending Reiki and love to each other, to the universe and to the coronavirus, to find some harmony...I think it might be the only way, find a way to live together, and Reiki tends to help with relationships, so keep sending Reiki to it.

There's a beautiful poem that might help make sense of this:

Anything that annoys you is for teaching you patience.

Anyone who abandons you is for

teaching you how to stand up

on your own two feet.

Anything that angers you is for teaching you forgiveness and compassion.

Anything that has power over you is for teaching you hot to take your power back.

Anything you hate is for

teaching you unconditional love.

Anything you fear is for

teaching you courage to

overcome your fear.

Anything you cannot control is for teaching you how to let go and trust the universe.

Jackson Kiddard.

Those of you who are Reiki attuned and would like to join the community and receive emails with Zoom sign-in details for our weekly group then please email me at emma@beinspiredby.co.uk. You don’t need to have been attuned by me. All are welcome!

Love and Reiki.

A healing crisis

With all the recent healing work, a healing crisis was inevitable.  It was funny as I hadn't identified with it as such, I just knew something was "off" and was trying to figure out the reason for this.

In the back of my mind I had this thought that I needed to write about healing crises in my Reiki Level One Manual, because following a Reiki attunement (and each of the three levels) you go through a 21 day healing process.

The number 21 is very significant in spiritual fields as it means that new beginnings and change are coming in, and this should bring greater balance and harmony, and therefore should be positively embraced. However often this means that the old needs to break down to make space for the new to come in and this is not always an easy process.  

So there I was thinking about writing about a healing crisis but not having identified with it.  Then rather coincidentally (but of course there are no coincidences), a good friend asked me what a healing crisis meant. Suddenly it dawned on me, "ah ha, of course, yes, this is what I am going through, a healing crisis!".

They are never easy to go through at the best of times and this one lingered on for a good ten days, bringing up old anxious and sickness energy from my solar plexus and sacral chakras. I knew it wasn't how I felt now, but it was unsettling all the same. Obviously I just wanted it to go, but this is the thing about the healing process, you have to feel it for it to truly leave the body. That's often the reason that we need to do some healing work in the first place, because we never felt the emotion or whatever it may have been at the time, and stuffed it away, where it becomes a stagnant and stuck energy and subtly (and not so subtly) affects our lives.

So what is a healing crisis?  Let me try and explain.

Well as I've just mentioned energy gets stuck for a reason.  Often it’s because you can’t or don’t want to face something difficult. Thus energy can also get stuck from trauma, crises, numbness, or denial. Some part of you, whether it’s the ego, body wisdom or spirit, is trying to protect you. Rather than feeling everything in that moment and letting it pass through, thoughts and emotions (energy in motion) gets stuffed down into the energetic corners, so to speak. Stuck energy can lead to pain and disease. It’s protection and in the short term it has a place, but when numbing and holding on becomes a habit and a default coping method then it can lead to long term problems.

Healing work is essentially about releasing the stuck energy that no longer has a purpose and serves the individual. If it’s not acute or obvious, it could simply be a feeling of life being “off balance” or something just not feeling quite right. Whatever the reason for the healing work –receiving Reiki for example – the goal is generally to feel better, not worse.

Any type of cleansing or healing that you do will come with a release. This can happen on a physical, mental, emotional or spiritual level, and often happens on several levels simultaneously. When toxins and toxic energy are released, your body and mind have to deal with a sudden and powerful shift in balance. It’s impossible to have a release in any of your bodies (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, energetic) and not have the others affected. 

The body is good at maintaining a balance, so the symptoms are usually mild. But symptoms are always unique and dependant on your sensitivity, your level of illness or disease, the extent of your denial, and/or your frame of mind during a session. This is referred to as a “healing crisis”. Essentially you are releasing the old stuck energy with new energy and your whole system has to adjust to the change and you may experience uncomfortable symptoms.

The healing crisis can be unpleasant and even take you a while to identify that this is what you’re experiencing - this is what happened to me!  It's always a relief when you recognise that you are simply going through a healing crisis. It’s all part of the healing process and essential to complete the healing – better out than in! Essentially you’re releasing all the stuck anger, hurt, broken heart, anxiety, depression, sadness, betrayal, unhealed trauma, unspoken feelings, resentment, frustration, rejection, loss etc. that you’ve been holding onto inside.

The thing is, you won’t be able to release it all without feeling some of it again. It’s like you have to feel it, to release it and let it move on. Sometimes the release is quick, e.g. an overwhelming sense of anger and need to run it off, or scream it out, momentary feelings of sadness and unexpected tears. There may be vomiting or diarrhoea, muscle ache, fatigue, the need to forgive a past situation or person, or make amends with someone, and/or a large emotional purge. Sometimes you might pick a fight with a partner or friend, simply as a way of releasing pent up frustration or anger. 

Sometimes the release might take a few days or a week or so, where you don’t feel quite right, to the extent that you might start wondering if your old anxiety, depression, resentment, sadness, grief, or whatever it might be, has come back again, and this might make you feel a little panicky. 

I've certainly gone through a combination of healing crises in the past.  When I was doing my Reiki training all those years ago, I got what I thought were a lot of vomiting bugs, but I later realised that these were healing crises, the old coming out. In these early days, especially with the yoga I had some sudden anger outbursts that came from nowhere and these too, I came to realise were healing crises too.

Please don’t worry of you too go through a healing crisis from yoga or a holistic treatment or practice. It’s just the old moving out to make way for the new, and your body needs time to find a new balance and adjust to the higher vibrational energy. It should be embraced rather than feared as it is a true sign of healing. Please don’t think that the practitioner or teacher did anything wrong or you did anything wrong, it’s simply the healing process. The deeper and more intense the healing crisis, the deeper and more intense the healing. 

You might find that after a healing crisis things change for you.  Your vibration has changed so situations and the people you attract into your life will also change.  This may mean that there will be some dis-resonance with people and situations already in your life, and some of these will adapt and morph with your own energy, and others will drop away. Please just trust the process, it is all for the higher good and may highlight to you, relationships and situations that are no longer serving you. You’ll shine lighter and brighter as a result. 

Try to drink lots of water during this time, and move your body, getting out into nature, getting your feet on the Earth, perhaps journaling, doing a guided relaxation, holding rose quartz or chakra balancing crystals and just trying to be super compassionate and kind to the self. 

I've found myself drawn to do all these things during the healing crisis, especially running, as if trying to sweat and move it out, running my life forward. I've also drawn on the yoga nidra network and listened to some lovely free and nourishing Yoga Nidras, while holding rose quartz. I've also played a lot with the children and swum in the sea, getting outside as much as possible. It's all helped!

As it happens a 21 day cleanse from the last Reiki attunement session I ran ends today, hoorah for that, it coincides with the weather shifting and my cycle shifting to the autumnal stage and no doubt things will shift during this moon phase.  Happy healing!!