Happy Samhain!

Today is Samhain, the day of the dead and the dying parts of us that now need to be let go so that we can make way for the new beginnings that the new moon may usher in tomorrow. It’s a poignant time, the veil is thinnest between the worlds, a great day for meditation and communing with other realms, entering them if you can.

At Samhain the dark half of the year commences. It is a truly magical time. We have to remember that death is always followed by rebirth and I love that the new moon appears so soon. Tomorrow then really does mark the beginning of a new year. But remember celebrations today begin at sunset, when the darkness arrives. Light is always born out of darkness. We must remember this. Darkness is fertile with all potential - embrace it!

My concern these days is that new age spiritualism rejects the darkness and the darker parts of ourselves, in its quest to fulfil the light and love potential. Yet we do not know light an love without darkness and dismay, without the anger and the frustration and our sheer rage.

Today offers you the chance to rest and reflect on the past and to dream new beginnings. The seed now hidden in the earth let us not forget, will germinate in its season. So we look for seeds within ourselves. Yet, we also have to remember that there is a timing to everything and certainly the rug was pulled and doors closed for many of us with the recent eclipses and it may be just a little bit too soon to know where we are heading. We might just have to sit in discomfort of the not knowing for a little while longer yet, and that’s OK too.

What’s called for is patience. This is a word which is coming up a lot for my clients lately. Sit patiently and wait. This is a time to rest, renew and clear out the old. The new will appear in just the right time.

Enjoy it all!

Love Emma

Read More

That annoying thing called imposter syndrome

I have many talented clients who are keen to offer Reiki or other holistic and trauma-based therapies, teach yoga and/or write books, but let the imposter syndrome get in the way.

This is a syndrome which essentially tells you that you are not good enough to offer whatever it is that you are wanting to offer, that you don’t know enough, aren’t clever enough, expert enough, knowledgeable enough, that you don’t have the right qualifications, that you won’t be able to do a good job, that compares you to others and concludes that there’s too much competition anyway and that you will never be able to make a go of it etc.

I have many talented clients who are keen to offer Reiki or other holistic and trauma-based therapies, teach yoga and/or write books, but let the imposter syndrome get in the way.

This is a syndrome which essentially tells you that you are not good enough to offer whatever it is that you are wanting to offer, that you don’t know enough, aren’t clever enough, expert enough, knowledgeable enough, that you don’t have the right qualifications, that you won’t be able to do a good job, that compares you to others and concludes that there’s too much competition anyway and that you will never be able to make a go of it etc.

But really when it boils down to it, it shows that you just care too much what others think of you and that you don’t recognise your own magnificence.

It also shows that you don’t trust spirit and/or have faith in whatever it was that gifted the idea in the first place.

And that you are Ok about selling out on your heart.

It might also indicate that you have forgotten that we co-create in this life and it is about so much more than you.

We let our ego get involved.

This is the self-depreciating ego which tells us that we are not loveable, or good enough, or enough of this and that, or too much, or whatever other negative self-depreciating inner narrative we repeat over and over again and make manifest in our lives simply because we are always seeking validation of this negativity and embedding it deeper into our psyche and belief system.

If we look for trouble, we will see only trouble.

If we look for love, we will see only love.

If we look for validation of our uselessness, we will see it everywhere.

It is all about perspective.

And we have a choice.

We can keep limiting ourselves with all this negative crap, or we can choose to shift our mentality to something far more positive and expansive and live our best life.

It’s not our fault. We have been conditioned since birth to question ourselves, to doubt ourselves and to be down on ourselves.

We are constantly criticised for not being intelligent enough, or quick enough on the sports field, or arty enough, or musical, or thoughtful enough, or kind enough or polite enough, or not wearing the right clothes, or saying the right thing, or walking down the corridor correctly, or sitting still, or any of the other many, many ways that we are told how to be and judged for behaving differently.

No wonder so many are so tired.

This trying to be what others want us to be and this caring what others think and the hyper vigilance this requires, is really rather exhausting. It creates so much insecurity, anxiety and depression. It causes us to lose our centre, close our hearts and, at times, think we are negatively losing our mind.

Consumerism thrives on this insecurity. It thrives on our externalising of our worth. Of caring too much what others think. People make millions selling products that we are told will help us feel better about ourselves. Even in yoga, it has become all about the building or the mat or the clothes we wear, and this when yoga is absolutely an internal practice.

But that aside, it is crazy isn’t it, to base our self-esteem and sense of self on other people’s fleeting thoughts. Watch your own mind and ask yourself, “what thought will I think next?”, and watch the constant stream of thoughts that appear from the ether in all their randomness. Thoughts come and go. The trouble is we give them far too much energy and believe that they are a concrete representation of reality. They aren’t. So why on earth we care what other people are thinking about us or the opinions they hold one us (which are just thoughts) is quite beyond me.

If we don’t care about our own thoughts - and we really shouldn’t, especially those self depreciating ones, then why on earth should we care about other people’s thoughts? And this to the detriment of our experience and quality of life.

Because when we care too much, it stops us fulfilling our potential, it limits us and it keeps us stuck. And slowly a part of us begins to die, to give up, to feel hopeless, to accept our miserable lot. We close down to excitement and joy, we let our head drop, we drink more wine, eat more junk food, watch more TV, spend more time meaninglessly scrolling through social media, we might manifest illness and we tell ourselves all sorts of stories to justify why we won’t bother trying to move our life forwards and step into our power, share our gifts with the world, just yet.

Sometimes we are scared of failing. Or scared of our potential success.

Somewhere though, we have forgotten that there is a bigger picture.

You see spirit works through us. It wants to co-create with us. It needs us to be the channel and vehicle to bring more heart and soul onto this planet. The trouble is we block this flow by getting in our own way.

We make it all about us, rather than the people who may benefit.

We forget our place in the cosmos.

Maybe I am lucky. I didn’t intend to teach yoga or Reiki or offer Ayurveda. I only signed up for my yoga teacher training course because I wanted to immerse myself in yoga. Together with Reiki it had quite literally saved my life and I wanted to learn all I could about it. I also wanted everyone else on the planet to practice yoga because I knew how much it might help to ease our individual and collective suffering.

It was the same with Reiki. My Reiki Master had to really encourage me along to the first attunement session as I didn’t feel good enough. I was quite sure that the Reiki wouldn't work for me and when I was the only one in the room who didn’t feel a thing during the attunement itself and certainly didn’t see colours or have a sense of energy beings, i concluded that I definitely wasn’t good enough.

But alas a seed was sown and I found myself attending the Level Two training. It was the pendulum dowsing that got me really. I just couldn't believe that it actually worked for me. It was life changing. I slowly started to connect with, and trust, my intuition. It helped that I had by then started receiving spiritual life coaching using Reiki and the Reiki had been working its magic in my life, this to the extent that I wanted everyone else on this planet to benefit.

It was the same with Ayurveda. It felt like magic. I couldn’t quite believe how changing my diet in such an ancient way and taking some medicinal herbs could create such a profound difference in my energy levels and my relationship with myself. The pre-menstrual symptoms which had plagued me for years dissipated. The cysts on my ovaries healed. My disordered eating eased. The overwhelm and accompanying depressive moments abated. I was sleeping better. My digestive system was consistent. I wanted to learn as much as I could. I wanted everyone to try Ayurveda.

And so I ended up teaching yoga and Reiki and becoming an Ayurvedic lifestyle and nutrition consultant simply because I wanted others to experience the benefits for themselves.

I felt as if I had been given these incredibly sacred gifts and the only way I can truly thank the powers that be, is to share these gifts with others. My teachings and sharing then come from a place of deep gratitude.

Not only that, but I realise spirit is just moving through me. I don’t own any of it. Even Beinspired is not mine. It came in at just the right time and it has shaped itself.

The moments when I take myself too seriously, make it all about me, or try in some way to control things, especially Beinspired, is the time it all goes to pot. That I have learned the hard way.

And yes of course, I too have suffered imposter syndrome. Every time I offer something new, I can feel a creeping of anxiety and start questioning my ability and hear myself saying something like, “who do you think you are offering spiritual life coaching, do you really feel you have the qualifications/training/knowledge to help coach others spiritually, and can you honestly charge people for what you are offering?”

I hear those thoughts.

But then I also know that the idea to offer spiritual life coaching was not about me, it was about the people who may benefit from my sharing my passion for yoga, Reiki and Ayurveda, and all the many spiritual practices I have explored these last 20 off years. That is not supposed to sound arrogant, as if I am better than anyone else, I am not. But with all that I offer, it just suddenly comes in as a possibility, I haven’t gone searching for it.

The yoga teacher training course was the first of its kind and arrived on my penultimate day in Byron Bay when I was wondering what to do next with my life, but knowing that I wanted to continue immersing myself in yoga (you can read more about this in Namaste and From Darkness Comes Light). The Reiki came in by encouragement from my Reiki Master. The Ayurvedic training was encouraged by my Ayurvedic doctor. A part of me was cynical - they just want my money. But I know now, as I do this to others, that it is never about the money, it's an intuitive nudge, because you know that other person will benefit - if I have been badgering you to come to class, or do a Reiki attunement or consult with me for Ayurveda, this is the reason, something is telling me that you will benefit!

In many respects I have felt that I have had little choice. My yoga teacher told me to go back to Guernsey and start teaching yoga. My Reiki Master encouraged me to establish Beinspired and start offering Reiki. My Ayurvedic doctor was super keen for me to offer Ayurveda and did all she could to help me. These people are conscious, they have benefitted themselves from these spiritual practices and they also see the bigger picture - that we are co-creating with the divine, we are playing our role in positively shifting the vibration on this planet. We have incarnated at this time in history for this very reason.

So each time I come up against imposter syndrome, I acknowledge it and sit with it. Where is it coming from? What is the fear? And how is my heart feeling?

And as long as it still feels aligned, my heart sings, my intuition is nodding, then I’ll go for it anyway.

I’ll put on my big girl leggings and I’ll face my inner demon.

I’ll trust in whatever it was that gifted me the idea or the nudge in the first place.

I have learned a ton of lessons along the way.

At my first yoga class no one turned up. I went home and cried on my Dad’s shoulder. But I didn’t give up because something was telling me that I just needed to be patient, that Rome was not built in a day, that we all have to start somewhere, that it takes time for people to find their way to you.

And they do.

I have learned to trust in that.

That the right people will find you. That the universe will connect you.

Sure, it helps to advertise, to make people aware you exist. But people will come when the time is right - and for both of you, because it’s a two way process - I learn something from every single client and students who has entered my life.

I have also learned that you can advertise as much as you like, but if you have some resistance within you because you are letting imposter syndrome get in the way then people will not find you because on some level you are blocking them, you are also manifesting the validation you need that you are not good enough so let’s back out now while you can. I have sene this happen lots of times, people make it all about them again.

We have to be careful with our thoughts as they do create our reality. So shift your thoughts. And pray. Pray for assistance. For the most perfect situation for all parties.

I have also learned that we are not in control.

And that we should never base our self worth on external validation such as the number of students in our class or our busy schedule.

Just like we should never look to someone else to make us feel whole.

Or look to love to save us.

Or someone else to make us feel safe.

Or assume we need a community or tribe to feel as if we belong.

Our primary relationship in this lifetime is with ourselves. That much I have learned.

We come in on our own and we will leave on our own. This is the journey of OUR soul.

I know this with absolute certainty.

We can hear the powers that be if we are still enough, quiet enough, gentle enough.

We just need to learn to trust in what we hear, and cultivate greater faith in ourselves and in spirit in the process.

We need to cultivate self-belief. We have to learn to love and accept ourselves. This takes hard work. No one else can do it for us. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, you cannot buy this. Sure others can help you, but only you can really make the inner changes.

We need to switch off and switch in. People love eating energy. Protect your energy. Don’t give it away or let others steal it.

Faith is our protection.

Discernment is our weapon.

I have also learned that we should never have an attachment to outcome. If we do, we will never write that book, or run that course, or offer that treatment.

We do what we do for the love of it, for the sheer joy of the creative process.

We leave others to receive our offering in their own way. We are not responsible for this.

We have to let go of our idea of success or healing or whatever it may be.

We cannot control outcome.

We cannot make someone better if they don’t want to be better.

And we need to remember that we don’t all think and feel the same. So just because we might feel a certain way after say a yoga class or a Reiki treatment, doesn't mean that others will feel similarly. Some may like it, some may not.

And the other lesson I have learned is not to personalise everything. Someone doesn’t come back to yoga. Big deal. That’s their choice. Maybe that one session was all they needed to move them forwards in their life, maybe they can’t get a baby sitter, maybe they have to work late, maybe yoga is just not for them. We don’t need to make up stories that revolve around us, “oh I don’t think they like my style of teaching, oh I am such a rubbish yoga teacher blah blah blah.

Who cares!

Do what you do, offer what you offer, for the sheer love of it.

Stop caring what others think.

And put your energy to loving yourself more instead. Of being your greatest friend.

I have spent thousands of pounds on various trainings, workshops, courses and treatments over the years, but one of my best friend’s gave me the greatest advice for free. He told me to stop caring what others think. No one had ever told me that. Not one single person. or if they did, I didn’t hear them. I started putting this into practice and I couldn’t believe how deep the conditioning around caring what others think. Every time I was triggered, when I traced it back to source, I realised it was always about caring what others thought. I cannot tell you how liberating it has been to work with this and stop caring. It automatically tightens boundaries and helps you value yourself - and - it increases interestingly your compassion not least for self, but for others, because you see how much they suffer by caring too much what others think.

To the extent they don’t live their best life.

And this, to me, is a real tragedy.

So too the fact that they are denying others the benefit of their gifts by not sharing them - it’s like a form of stealing.

If you are reading this, then the chances are that you too have something to share. That you have a passion for yoga or writing or holistic therapies or whatever it may be and that your life has been touched positively to the extent that you would like others to benefit from what you have to share, be that your healing hands, your story or just your ability to listen.

So my advice is to share it. Notice the self-depreciating and limiting thoughts and do it anyway. Dig deep. Find the courage. Trust in whatever it was that gave you the idea. Cultivate faith. Pray for assistance along the way. Please don’t deny others the benefit of whatever gift you are here to share.

If it helps then I am happy to work with you to move you forwards, but remember that I cannot do it for you. You have to do it for yourself.

To help others.

To liberate yourself. Fly free.

To raise the vibration on this planet.

And boy do we need it!

Love Emma x

Read More
The Moon, Ramblings, Spirituality, Yoga Emma Despres The Moon, Ramblings, Spirituality, Yoga Emma Despres

Setting ourselves free of false ego identity

The moon has gifted many insights this cycle, but the one that has struck me the most is the reminder that we are not broken and don’t need fixing and that we need to shift this mindset if we truly want to thrive and appreciate our true divinity.

The moon has gifted many insights this cycle, but the one that has struck me the most is the reminder that we are not broken and don’t need fixing and that we need to shift this mindset if we truly want to thrive and appreciate our true divinity.

I have also been reminded that our mind is our worst enemy and creates our suffering through our forgetfulness that we are neither our thoughts nor our feelings. However, we have this self-depreciating tendency to allow both to run riot, getting caught up in, and stuck, the same mental and emotional patterns over an dover again, and creating our reality from this limited perspective.

We are not our thoughts and we are not our feelings. They come and go. You only have to ask your mind, “what thought is coming next”, to realise that you are not your thoughts. And you are not your feelings, because emotions are simply energy in motion. When we stop their motion and cling onto them, then we stop their flow and mis-identify with them as who we are - “I am sad”, I am depressed”. Not, you’re not! You are merely feeling sadness and depression. But they are not you. It is important to realise this.

Same with your thoughts. Did you know that ego simply means , “What you think you are”. So it’s just your ego that says, “I am fat”, “I am thin”, “I am a victim”, “I am clever’, “I am stupid”, “I am unloveable”, “I am ugly” and every other “I” statement. The collection of these thoughts creates our ego identity, so the ego is nothing more than a raft of self images bound together by your belief in them. Thus the way you identify with yourself is nothing more than fictitious construct, consisting primarily of self-images that exist because of your belief in them and attachment to them.

What is crazy is that each self image is based on a particle moment or moments of past experience that created a mental construct, “a story”, that was taken as static reality. For example, the moment you were praised or punished for something, told you are this or that, you believed it to be so, you bought into the story and by buying into the story, you acquired a self image to add to your forming ego that became a static reality - you believed it so and in believing it so, you made it so.

I have lost count of the number of clients who are stuck in mis-identification, believing they are this or that, usually something negative because of what has happened in their past. Not only does this keep them locked in the past, but it prevents them from expanding because they have limited themselves to the thought, “I am unloveable”, “I am unattractive”, “I am fat”, or whatever it is. The more we keep buying into these false identifications the more we make them so. We believe them into reality and create our own prison bars in the process.

It doesn’t have to be like this! Every moment of every day offers us the opportunity to remove the prison bars and set ourselves free. We choose how we relate to ourselves. I cannot tell you how liberating it is to bat those thoughts away, like they are tennis balls, to challenge every single idea we have about who we are, and to let our feelings flow, see them quite literally as the energy in motion that they are.

Yesterday we had an incidence at the beach where a very important person got annoyed at us for dumping our bags near to her shoes and towel. We’ve spent hours at Fort Grey this summer, hours an hours, and everyone has been really friendly, it’s one of the reason we love it there so much, let alone the opportunity for jumping, kayaking, paddle boarding, rock pooling and just absorbing it’s sacred energy, so it ws quite a surprise. It wasn’t until we got home, E told me that the lady in question, who actually accused us of intentionally leaving our stuff near her stuff to annoy her, is a reputable lawyer on the island, recently returned.

I realised then the reason for her reaction - she has over identified with her job title and believes herself better than everyone else, she has that entitlement that certain occupations encourage. This is not to say she isn’t divine, she is. We are all divine. But her ego has made her believe herself to be better than everyone else. But one day she will retire and what then? What identity will she take on. The lawyer that was? This is the reason so many company directors have heart attacks following retirement - they lose their job title and with that their identity and they no longer wield the same level of power that they did in the organisation.

So we have to be careful. One day we will die and we will become nothing more than dust or compost. There’s this lovely bit in Hamlet, in scene 3 of Act IV, when the King asks Hamlet where the late Polonius is, Hamlet replies, “At supper”. The king, knowing that Polonius is dead, asks Hamlet what he means, to which he curtly gives this riposte:

Not where he eats, but where ‘a is eaten. A certain convocation of politic worms are e’en at him. Your worm is your only emperor for diet. We fat all creatures else to fat us, and we fat ourselves for maggots. Your fat king and your lean beggar is but variable service—two dishes, but to one table. That’s the end…A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a king, and eat of the fish that hath fed of the worm.

Hamlet is very clever as he skilfully catches the audience off guard with his initial reply, “At supper”. This because we tend to think of the phrase, ‘at supper’ as, as meaning a person eating a meal. However Hamelt is referring to the person being eaten and emphasis with force the upheaval of hierarchies - the fat kind (and the lean beggar) serve the appetites of the imperial worms, “two dishes” end up on “one table”.

I’ve always thoughts this quote really interesting, reminding us that we are essentially all the same, and all part of the whole - of the continual cycle of life and indeed death on planet earth. Also a reminder that we are no better than each other. In death and indeed in life, we are essentially all equal. Admittedly some are more evolved than others, born with different karma and special qualities, but in terms of our treatment of each other, it is only our ego that says we are better, or indeed worse.

Anyway my point in all this, is to remember that we are not the stories we create about ourselves. Which is the reason I have some concerns about our over identification with labels, because we then make it so and again limit ourselves in the process. We over identify with our states of being too and continue to perpetuate the story, buying into victimhood at times, and keeping ourselves stuck.

At some point we have to realise that we are more than our thoughts and feelings and the stories we tell ourselves - or the stories others tell us. We have to remember that other people’s opinions of us - which they share readily with us, especially when we are children - are just thoughts. They are just someone else’s perspective. They are not true. They are not based on a divine reality but on someone’s judgement which is based to their conditioning and way of seeing the world and our place in it.

I have lost track of the number of people who suffer simply because of being told they were lazy at school, or sloppy, or whatever it may be, that they have taken with them into adulthood and believed it to be a truth. Who cares what other people think?!

It’s our conditioning actually that needs shifting. We have layers and layers of it and much of it patriarchal and christianised. This is something else that has really struck me lately. As women especially we talk of being empowered, yet we are still subjected to our conditioning that tells us we can only be empowered if we dig into our masculine energy and do it like the men. We still buy into the idea of power and money equalling success. We still pedestal masculine traits of achievement, outcome, rationality and consistent and linear ways of being in this world over the feminine qualities of empathy, intuition and cyclical ways of being.

We still pedestal science as if this is King. Nothing is believed if it hasn’t been proven by science. Yet science in itself is so limiting. The ancient Rishis knew the workings of this universe and the teachings have been shared for thousands of years. But unless science proves it so then we are not to believe it. Of course science has its place, but our intuition cannot be proven, nor our empathic feelings, but that doesn’t make them any less meaningful or important. We also have this annoying habit of reinventing the wheel and then commodifying it.

We strip the sacred out of everything. We are hell bent on externalising our view of the world. It doesn’t become about your meditation, it becomes about the cushion you are sitting on and the room you are sitting in. Even yoga has become less about recognising our divinity and more about how your body looks in a certain pose. We have to be careful what we buy into. In my day you didn’t need a particular water bottle to remind you to drink water. You drank water from a water fountain when you felt thirsty and I am still here to tell the tale. I’m actually honoured by the many ways we buy into commercialism.

Furthermore, so many women I see are still beholden to feelings of guilt and shame for wanting to step into their sexual energy. This because the christianised concept of purity runs deep in our DNA. We hold ourselves up against values which were forced upon our ancestors. They didn’t have a choice. But were do. We don’t need to keep perpetuating the story that we are good or bad, pure or dirty, virginal or whore, pretty or ugly, success or failure. All this duality kills the soul and keeps us trapped in our ego identity.

We are EVERYTHING. Our spiritual practicer can be anything because everything is essentially a manifestation of the Goddess. One of my friend’s loves playing AirSoft. He takes his spiritual practice seriously. Seeing an AirSoft gun hanging on his wall, someone made the comment, “well that’s not very spiritual is it!”. but actually why is yoga spiritual and playing AirSoft not? What differentiates the two. If they both serve to take us deeper to the truth, and into this present moment where we realise our divinity, then why is one good and the other bad?

It is from this understanding that the Tantric tradition arose. Tantra teaches that even the most mundane actions like washing the dishes and hanging out the washing are opportunities for experiencing the joy which flows from being truly present - of being in full Presence. We don’t limit ourselves then to our spiritual evolution, our recognition of our divinity, arising only on say our yoga mat or meditation cushion. For me this is incredibly liberating, to realise my deeper Self by being immersed in the world, rather than separate from it, of being deeply in the body, not denying it, of feeling pleasure and pain and not making one good and one bad.

The other point here is around evolution. My use of that word is perhaps not helpful as it implies moving outside ourselves and leaning into our existing conditioning that we need to do more/acquire more/fix more/future orientation “to be ……”. We have to remember that we are already perfect in our divinity and that all our spiritual practice is doing, is helping to remove the layers which prevent us from seeing this clearly. Our suffering arises because we have forgotten our own true nature and we buy into our thoughts and feelings as real.

This moon is gifting us the opportunity fort greater freedom by acknowledging all that has been and letting it pass into the ether, loosening our attachment to it. What is done is done. We have all suffered trauma - the trauma of incarnation is felt widely, for example. We have all made senseless decisions at one time or another. We have all held false views and perspective which we have shared with others. We have harmed and been harmed. But at some point we have to let it all go. We have to wipe the slate clean and realise our inherent divinity and allow more of this to shone forth in the world. We are EVERYTHING. Our playing it small, our not loving ourselves, our giving ourselves a hard time is really pointless. We have one life. Let’s live it well - kindly, loving and compassionately.

I could continue, there’s a theme around pain and suffering bubbling through but I will leave you with a quote by Christopher Wallis, a Tantric scholar, which is food for thought on this full moon:

The great master Abhinava Gupta suggests to us that if you practice from the perspective that you are not good enough as you are, or that there is something wrong with you that needs fixing, then your yoga cannot fulfil its ultimate purpose because it is a practice founded in wrong understanding. It can only go as far as fulfilling the limited purpose that has been conceived by your limited ego-mind. However, if you undertake the practice of Yoga with the right View of yourself, that you are doing yoga to realise and then fully express what is already true, then you have empowered your practice to take you all the way”.

Happy full moon!

Love Emma x

But it is more than that. We have to stop believing all we have been told about ourselves and buying into it as if this is a truth. Our teachers, caregivers, friends, family members, general public, all will have had an opinion about us at one time or another, but it doesn’t make them real or concrete, they are just someone else’s thoughts. Yet our whole life can be based on these thoughts, because we ignorantly take them on as a truth and then make them so - creating our own reality in the process.

My other concern is our over identiifcation with

Read More
Yoga, Spirituality, Healing Emma Despres Yoga, Spirituality, Healing Emma Despres

Why yoga?

The practice will help us to increasingly let go of things we no longer need - including behaviour patterns, mental conditionings, limiting beliefs and ways of being - which are no longer helpful. These will drop away gradually. This is the benefit of a regular yoga practice. We put in the time and effort but we begin to feel lighter, there is more stability, clarity and joy in our lives.

Why yoga?

“The success of Yoga does not lie in the ability to perform postures but in how it positively changes the way we live our life and our relationships.” Desikachar

Yoga firstly helps us to gain clarity and reduce our suffering. Then eventually it helps us to overcome that suffering and realise our true potential.

When we comment on the world being chaotic etc., we are really talking about ourselves. We need to change. It is only when we change ourselves that we change the world. 

Yoga changes our life in a more positive direction. That is the potential it offers ALL of us. 

Although the teachings of yoga are over five thousand years old, they’ve never been needed more than now to bring stability and clarity into our lives and to this Planet. 

The very first sutra of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, is written:

Atha yoga-anuśāsanam

Atha means ‘now ‘and ‘now’ is very significant. 

Yoga is practised NOW. Not tomorrow, not next week, not when we can be bothered. It means yoga is practised in this moment. It means ‘Now I am going to follow the path of yoga, now I am going to follow the teachings’. 

The only reality we have is THE moment as it unfolds.

The past has passed and what we call the future is no more than imagination. The only reality we have is the moment we are in.

I need to start NOW and I need to continue in each moment, breath by breath, movement by movement and moment by moment. Yoga is not something I can pick up and put down. If I really want to enjoy the fruits of yoga, I have to make that commitment to yoga. I have to start now and each moment that follows, I need to be present.

Historically yoga was not practised alone. Any of us who have practised alone will know how easy it is to switch off, for our body to be doing one thing and our mind quite another. There is a lack of presence. The mind is usually caught thinking about the past or planning into the future. A whole thirty minutes can pass. The box for ‘yoga practice’ is ticked, but the effects are much less than when you are practising with a teacher and are encouraged into the body and to the breath.

If a guide takes me over a mountain on a particular known path, then that is going to help me enormously in navigating the mountain. So it is the same with yoga; a teacher can act as a guide in helping me navigate the path. I have two teachers for this very reason, because it would be much more challenging to navigate the path without them. They pull me up when I need pulling up, and provide a point of reference, bringing light when it is otherwise dark.

But a teacher cannot make us commit. We need to find the strength to commit ourselves, not least to a teacher, but to a practice too, we need to trust in the process. 

Practice (abhyāsa) should be anything which takes our mind to a place of stability and clarity, to a state of yoga.

Patanjali qualifies this practice as follows:

  • Practise for a long time;

  • Practise without interruptions (so don’t take time off from practising, there should be a regular commitment);

  • Practise with a positive attitude;

  • Practise with enthusiasm.

He stresses that yoga is not going to be a quick fix or an easy journey. It has two main drawbacks in that it requires time and effort. However if you are prepared to put in the time and effort then many things are possible. 

But you have to participate! Yoga – like Reiki – doesn’t just miraculously land on us. These are spiritual PRACTICES, they demand that we practise. Sure, we can read about them and acquire knowledge on them, but it is not until we actually practise that we experience the benefits and come to realise the potential of yoga, and even then, we do this with increasing detachment.

The practice will help us to increasingly let go of things we no longer need - including behaviour patterns, mental conditionings, limiting beliefs and ways of being - which are no longer helpful. These will drop away gradually. This is the benefit of a regular yoga practice. We put in the time and effort but we begin to feel lighter, there is more stability, clarity and joy in our lives.

It helps that the practice will make our body, mind and breath healthy. But at its essence, yoga offers us much more than this – it offers us a way of living, which supports our self -realisation, we are gifted the opportunity to see our eternal self, to literally realise that we are indeed a reflection of the highest power, that we contain the whole universe within ourselves. 

The problem, particularly at the start is that it is very easy to forget the support yoga can give us. It can also be hard work – we are encouraged to look at ourself more truthfully, and release our long held tensions and the accompanying emotions and thoughts, which no longer serve us and cause a loss of wellbeing. 

All you have to do is practice. 

Practice and all is coming.” Pattabhi Jois 

Certainly my life has changed beyond recognition since I brought yoga into it, 20 years ago now. It is a way of life with a philosophical underpinning, not an exercise regime, albeit it can be met solely on this level. But to be truly changed by yoga, one has to surrender to it and trust in the teachings, which is the reason it is so important to be guided by a teacher, to truly know its essence.

I’m delighted to offer you the opportunity to practice, with a dedicated Yoni Yoga class for women each Tuesday evening starting 9th January, upstairs in St Martin’s Community Centre, 6-7pm. This will be a drop-in class, no need to book, £12 drop-in or buy 5 tokens in advance for £55

This is a gentle and introspective class using Tantric techniques to essentially help you to come home to yourself, to deepen into the loving guidance of your heart and the power and wisdom that comes from the pelvis. This is also a very healing session, incorporating various pranayama (breathing exercises), asana (postures), yantra (visualisation), mudra (hand gestures), mantra (sound) and a yoga nidra (deep guided relaxation/meditation).

The Friday morning Tantra class starts again Friday 5 January from 9.30-10.45am upstairs in St Martin’s Community Centre, £12 drop in and £55 for 5 tokens payable in advance. All welcome, no need to book.

I will be teaching a Monday evening Tantra class from February, 6-7pm, at St Martin’s Community Centre (upstairs).

Jo teaches two Hatha classes a week, please view the calendar below for specific class details.

“Yoga is good for man because the physical body improves, the nervous system improves, the mind improves, the intellect improves—so, how can yoga not be good?” Desikachar

Read More
Spirituality, The Moon, Equinox & solstice Emma Despres Spirituality, The Moon, Equinox & solstice Emma Despres

Happy Winter Solstice!

Friday December 22, 2023 at 3:27 AM marks the winter solstice

On this day, the sun is at its most southerly point on  the horizon as it rises, and it assumes its lowest position in the sky at noon. This day is called midwinter’s day and it is the shortest one of the year.

The annual solar movements along the horizon from one solstice to another describes a year. This apparent movement results from the earth’s orientation in space and the motion of the earth in its orbit around the sun. 

Early man was conscious of these movements along the horizon, as evidenced by the many dolmens which are aligned to the sunrise on both the summer and winter solstices, and the equinoxes too. 

One imagines that the winter solstice was especially significant, as confirmation that the light does indeed increase again. Until that point, one might have felt as if the world was descending into a darkness, from which there was no return!

Thus the winter solstice, known in the olden times as Yule, celebrates the return of the light, from now onwards the hours of light lengthen each day. It is also a time to celebrate our inner light, which keeps us going during dark days – there are inevitably times in everyone’s life when we feel as if the light may never return, but it generally does and we must not lose sight of that, everything is part of a whole, a cycle. 

Our ancestors understood that winter is the hardest time of the year, so the solstice was also a moment to stop, to look backwards in inner reflection and to look forwards to a more active season as the sun’s returning power brings increased daylight, growth and indeed activity. From now on the days will lengthen and the warmth will return. 

Megalithic monuments acknowledged the return of the sun. More famously, Newgrange in Ireland has a winter solstice alignment, when – quite remarkably – for around 4.5 minutes, the sun shines down the ‘roof-box’ of the Neolithic passage and illuminates the floor of the main chamber 18m away. Only lottery selected individuals get to experience this amazing event – pray for clear skies!

The outer Sarsen ring at Stonehenge also has a winter solstice alignment and it is possible to enter the site for free at sun rise – it is well worth the visit if you happen to find yourself in the area, to be able to access the stones up close only happens on the solstices unless you have arranged a private visitation. In Carnac in Southern Brittany, the majority of the remaining dolmens are aligned to the winter solstice sunrise – it was clearly a special time. 

Even here on Guernsey we have a winter solstice alignment, where the sun is directed by a little groove in one of the outer stones, all the way through the dolmen to where the male and female stones meet. It has been quite an honour to witness this over the years and I am grateful to the dolmen for revealing some of its mystery. 

It is important to realise that this festival is not the beginning, in a linear way of looking at things, but a rebirth within a cycle of wholeness. Traditionally homes were decorated with evergreens such as holly, ivy, mistletoe, yew and pine, all of which represented the cycle of life. We would do well to remember this too – life is full of ups and downs, we just have to keep on keeping on and nudge our way back to the light. 

Here are some suggestions for celebrating the winter solstice and honouring the return of the sun:

Go for a walk 🚶🏽‍♀️

The eve of winter solstice is a special night to go out for a night’s walk, embracing the changing energy of the land.

Watch the sunrise 🌅

Get up early and go to a special place to watch the solstice sun rise or the lightening of the sky in the South East. These are magical moments you will always remember.

Celebrate! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

With friends and family around a fire with a bowl of warming winter vegetable soup. 

Add a yule log to the fire 🪵

This tradition began in Norway, where a giant log was hoisted onto the hearth to celebrate the return of the sun each year

Collect & decorate 🌲

Holly, ivy, evergreen boughs and pinecones, symbolising everlasting life, protection and prosperity. Use them to decorate a table or mantle or to make a wreath. You could always gift this to loved ones

Watch sunset…

…knowing that the evenings will soon be extending

Dance 🕺🏻

Put on your favourite music and dance on the energy of the new beginnings that the return of the light brings

Light a candle and make a wish 🕯

A powerful way to symbolise your inner light

Join a yoga class or spiritual celebration 🧘🏽‍♂️

There is a Yoni Yoga class to celebrate Yule for women of all ages and levels of experience, including absolute beginners, at St Martin’s Community Centre this Friday, 6-7pm

Read More