Soul and Shadow on the moon

Phew that was an intense full moon, I did chuckle when I realised that this happened to coincide with me receiving and starting a new book called ‘Soul and Shadow’ for this was indeed the moon of soul and shadow! The world itself was having to face its shadow around discrimination and inequality. Will then world change now the shadow has been brought to the light? I hope so, but I have become a little weary of late, there seems to be greater division that ever!

My soul friend, Christine, mentioned to me yesterday that there is a theme around “I can’t breathe” and it did dawn on me that this is so true on so many levels. Not least George Floyd, but Covid and Gaia herself. This week too I have become aware of women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer, the heart chakra, of air and nourishment. This really is a time of the heart versus the head and interesting that the throat sits in-between and people are voicing their options.

Here on Guernsey I have been told that social media is filled with toxicity around those who are arriving into Guernsey and not self-isolating, and people vocal about sharing their opinions. Is this from the heart though? To be truly effective, a voice from the heart, rather than the solar plexus of fear, ego and bullying is much more effective. The world needs the purer heart voice to be truly heard.

It’s been a funny old time. Busy, bringing with it remnants of the old, and yet different too, the busyness has a softer energy, busy doing things that we enjoy, rather than busy doing things for the sake of doing things or because others have been demanding from us. I don’t feel therefore that it is busyness for the sake of busyness, not avoidance, or distraction, more so a renewed sense of purpose and keenness to share.

I soul searched too, around classes and what to do about these and have decided to change things a little, take yoga inside, because I have always preferred teaching inside, there is less distraction, nature does distract by its’s very nature, because it is so beautiful! Plus the sun and the wind was aggravating my pitta and vata and the uncertainty over the weather was slightly tricky to manage! So I have elected for smaller class sizes where I can work more intimately with students, it does mean some will miss out, and I’ll be honest, it is my main source of income, so I won’t be earning so much, but I feel that this is the way, for now at least!

If there is one thing we can learn from covid, is that everything changes, life is in a constant state of flux. All we can do is keep flowing with the heart, keep checking in and seeing where we might adjust. Yoga helps us with this, the scaravelli-inspired approach, that is now influencing my teaching, is all about sitting with the not knowing and with uncertainty, and honouring our own nature, our flesh and bones. This is our nature! And it has become increasingly important to me that we don’t deny that in the pushing and pulling and the forcing that comes with so many of the other approaches to yoga that I have been trained in and have studied and shared with others.

I can’t now return to vinyasa or to dynamic yoga, it feels so soulless, and yet I am grateful because it got me from where I was to where I am now, and I feel like I have come home, to a deeper place in myself, that is less focused on achievement and being someone, but on just being with what was there all along, yet I was so busy in my practice, always moving from one pose to the next, always considering the alignment being right or wrong (there is no such thing incidentally, we’re just conditioned to believe in that, to make our life certain, life by its very nature is uncertain!), that I did not allow for the fluidity of the practice, of life, with the flow and with the sacred that talks through the breath, that comes, not because the breath is imposed on the body, but because the breath enters in, like a gift, a re-membering.

Mainly now I yawn through my practice. Louise says that this is because the breath is finding itself again after years of forced breathing. Who would have known! It is so interesting, that there is always so much still to learn. So breath has been prevalent in my life too of late, because it was strange to find the breath coming initially, and this not looking like the old paradigm, of Ujaii breath come what may, which I realise now might actually have been hardening things. Certainly my solar plexus has softened and now I am drawn more into the heart.

I am used to the yawning now, it comes, it comes, and I cannot control it, it is years of stuff that was held deep in the diaphragm that was now allowed expression. I’m pretty sure this may have been the reason for a hernia at my navel. Well that and all the many planks and chatturangas, that I avoid now, because they were absolutely not benefitting my body or my mind, let alone my soul.

So there has been shadows coming to the light and the soul has been finding greater expression. There has been the breath and there has been the heart and I am curious to see where this eclipse season takes us these next few weeks.

With love

Being human

If there is one phrase I loathe about the moment, other than ‘social dancing’ and ‘stay safe’, is ‘catch it, bin it, kill it’.

I was saddened to see that the primary school that Elijah usually attends, but is not attending at the moment (and thank goodness he isn’t, seeing what going back to school now entails, not the teachers fault by the way, public health gone mad it seems) will reinforce the ‘catch it, bin it, kill it’ message regularly. I suspect they have been instructed to do so by public health.

But is this really a phrase we want reinforced in our children. Yes it might be related to the virus, but isn’t it indicative of where we have strayed as a humanity, where we feel we have to be killing all the time. Look where that’s gotten the US with their emphasis on guns and the killing culture - ‘but I need it for self defence’. What are we so scared of all the time, that we have to kill, a fly, a mouse, a virus? What’s the difference, really, because it’s all life.

We have learned to live with flies yet they can harm us, infect us with malaria, transfer their eggs to the food we might eat, just be a really annoying nuisance, and yet does that give us a right to kill them? A mouse in our house, it happened to us just before lockdown and there we were not sure to do, initially there was the notion that we might set traps, but that seemed just too cruel, so E caught them as humanly as he could and released into the back of the garden, set free, no killing necessary, and no longer a nuisance to us either.

‘Humanly’ means with human feeling or kindness. I ask myself how humanly we are currently living. I ranted yesterday and thought that might clear it a little, but today the same old stuff just comes up again. We need to move on from this old paradigm of always thinking that something is harming or hurting us, and rather than trying to find a way to live humanly with whatever it is, we have to eradicate it, get rid of it, exterminate it.

Public Health need to really think about the messages they are conveying to the wider public. Those in power, need to really think about the wider implications of the decisions they are making, and the reason they are making them, and is it from a place of fear or from a place of love, are these humane decisions. And we the general public, we do have our own power, we can make a stand, we can opt out, we can find another way, if there are enough of us who question these decisions being made. We do not need to follow like sheep, asleep.

My Mum was always keen that I was never a sheep. She has lived to regret that decision many times over as he has watched me drop further away from what others are doing. Where once I was frustrated about her attitude because I wanted to wear the same dress as the other girls in my class at primary school, but was not allowed to do so, because she didn’t want me being a sheep, I am grateful to her now for this.

To have your own mind is not necessarily easy, because there is a responsibility, and there is of course still a fear of getting it very wrong, and yet there is such freedom because the choices are your own, not someone else’s, not because you have been told ‘this is the way’ and you have blindly followed, but because you are conscious of the reason that you are doing what you are doing. And you are more than happy to admit when you don’t know and that you might have got it wrong.

I truly feel we need to change the story now. Let it go. Of the victimhood and the harm done, of the way that we have killed aspects of ourselves, and bring those aspects back to life again, reclaim the power that we might have been giving away our whole lifetimes, because we never questioned, we never hesitated, we never thought, hmm, but is there another way, can we live more harmoniously, more humanly, within ourselves, within our own true nature, our own flesh and bones, and the nature of the wider world in which we feel ourselves at home, with the divine, with heart and with soul.

I am reminded of this poem from Hafiz:

“Once a man came to me and spoke for hours about 'His great visions of God,' he felt he was having.

He asked me for confirmation, saying 'Are these wondrous dreams true?'

I replied, 'How many goats do you have?'

He looked surprised and said, 'I am speaking of sublime visions and you ask about goats?'

And I spoke again, saying, 'Yes brother -- how many do you have?'

'Well, Hafiz, I have sixty two.'

'And how many wives?' 

Again he looked surprised, then said, 'Four.'

'How many rose bushes in your garden? How many children? Are your parents still alive? Do you feed the birds in winter?'

And to all he answered.

Then I said, 'You asked me if I thought your visions were true. I would say that they were if they made you become more human, more kind to every creature and plant that you know.'"

Love Emma x

The full moon lunar eclipse this Friday: the mother

It’s the Sagittarius full moon lunar eclipse on Friday and I am certainly feeling the heat. Phew. Not only am I literally burning hot from having spent a little bit too much time in the sun today, but the fire within me has been ignited a little bit more with news of what a return to pre-school will likely entail for my three year old, Eben.

We have already made the decision to home school Elijah, our six year old, for the rest of this term and then take a view on this in September, but I had intended to settle Eben back into pre-school, as he is a very different child to Elijah, much more sociable and in need of constant entertainment, he is a vortex of energy, this having kicked his way out of me six weeks early on the supermoon back in October 2016! He hasn’t stopped kicking and running and moving and generally challenging me, and yet delighting me with his zest and passion for living and life, ever since.

The eldest is super sensitive and has never truly been conformable with school, there was constant tears and I have been picking up for lunch for the last two years because he hates the noise of the playground and gets anxious with all the other children. Returning to school now, after a three month absence, with all the changes and the social distancing and the constant hand washing, just wouldn’t be healthy for him, it takes him a good while to adjust to new situations and he’s gotten used to being at home, and to be honest his learning has improved with the one to one attention.

Pre-school though, I thought I’d be OK with that, until we received the communication today about the changes to procedures. After being assured back in September that parents were able to stay and help settle their children, now we have to drop and leave as quickly as we can. I know only too well how traumatic this can be to a child if they are not ready for it, I’ve blogged about it before, but we foolishly did this with Elijah back in the day, as everyone told us this was the way, only to return three hours later to find a shaking and sobbing two and three quarter year old.

We did it again, twice, because we kept being told you had to do it, until we realised this wasn’t right. He started getting anxious at night, his behaviour changed, he clung to me, he cried as we drove to pre-school, he virtually begged me. It wasn’t until the last full moon last month that i finally forgave myself for that, almost four years on. It was almost unforgivable as a mother to just leave your crying child with a total stranger, and dash off, when that child has never been left with anyone other than family and does not know a single person in the rooms and can’t stand noise! He was traumatised.

So I won’t be repeating that mistake with Eben. Not that he will get the opportunity as he has a persistent cough, has done for about three weeks now. Apparently there is a persistent cough on Guernsey, I think people have been fretting they have Covid and contacting the health care professionals accordingly, so it’s become more well known that it’s not Covid, that there is another virus with similar symptoms circulating. So until Eben no longer coughs, and no longer has a snotty nose, which might also be some time as he is three years old and many children have snotty noses, it’s the Kapha, part of the period of their life that they are in, then he won’t be returning to pre-school.

If he does go, they’ll be taking the children’ temperature on arrival, which is not part of the public health advice and does seem to go a little far for me, but is part of their risk management strategy. I do wonder what kind of world we are wanting our children to grow up in and I’ll be honest, the way things are going currently, this is absolutely not the way I would like the world to become, with us being totally paranoid about germs, to the extent that children will become anxious at the slightest hint of them, and also won’t be exposed to them impacting on their immune systems when they are exposed to them and what of OCD around cleanliness and cleaning the hands.

Today we also found out that the States are trying to get children off the bus and on the road, with walking or cycling the norm. I don’t have a problem with that per se, but isn’t that going to result in more cars on the road? Those who take the bus often living farther away from school, and so it might not be practical to cycle or walk. Certainly from where we live to school it would take me twenty minutes to walk, and as Eben comes with us and as he won’t walk, I’d have to carry him. That’s there and back. And he would be too small to cycle, and even Elijah is too small to cycle to school. I just don’t think people are thinking these things through properly. We’ll just end up with even more cars on the roads.

I also find it hilarious (in a sad way) that months ago we were making progress in getting rid of single use plastic, and now we can’t get enough of it. I was told that at one of the private schools, children have been told they must bring their lunch box into school in a plastic bag. And then there’s all that single use plastic gloves, and with everything being cleaned within an inch of its life, we’ll be going through a number of those as a society.

Of course i care desperately about Mother Earth and how she is tended, but I also care deeply about the children, the next generation. I can’t help thinking that in the quest to protect the vulnerable, children are the ones to suffer. Their desks are spread apart, no group work, or small team work, none of the play activity that was in place, at pre-school, plastic toys are back in, out goes the sand and the water, and presumably free play goes too as everything has to be controlled and managed and risk assessed. Argh.

Don’t get me wrong, of course I don’t want people to die, but I also don’t want children growing up anxious, depressed and having to grow up before their time. They are children and children play. Children have snotty noses. Children touch as they try to make sense of the world, they explore, they hug, they leap and they jump. Children need to be allowed to be children, not controlled within an inch of their lives for a virus that they may or may not get. There is always a bigger picture and every action will have a consequence, and I hope those making the decisions are really comfortable with the choices they are making and what this means for our children’s wellbeing long term, let alone this planet we live on.

I was blown away, just couldn’t get my head around events on Saturday. Not least the appalling and public murder of George Floyd and the rioting that ensued, not so much that I was surprised about this, because the voice needed to be heard, black lives do matter, and it is time, it has been time for an awfully long time now, and I am embarrassed to be part of a humanity which continues to discriminate and separate and silence, and to live amongst those who have such a blatant disregard for the lives of others. Then we have a space shuttle going up in the air!

E and I actually stood outside and watched the space station pass over Guernsey and then about six minutes later the shuttle passed too, it was really faint and I couldn’t see it properly, but E managed to follow it’s path, this with the moon out too. This the dream of Elon Musk, a tech billionaire, who wants to see life established on Mars so that the human species can continue, because he expects us to become extinct here on Mother Earth. He might be right, but I can’t help thing, wouldn’t the money not be better spent on improving the way we live on Mother Earth, so that we might continue as a specie and so that we don’t destroy Gaia in the process?

It just seems so arrogant to me. We’ll exploit this planet through greed, with the focus on money and accumulation of wealth at the expense of everything else, we’ll develop tech, which is meant to solve all our problems, yet from my experience during lock down this just added to my stress levels, and the stress levels of others, yes I might have been able to teach yoga through Zoom, but many of my regular students couldn’t join me because their internet kept dropping out or they had spent so long on the computer already that day with work and online learning that they’d had quite enough!

He’s involved in all sorts of others stuff too, including gentle artificial intelligence whatever that is, and he does some good stuff, helping make fresh water available to communities in the US, supporting companies developing renewable energy. But you know, do we really need to go to Mars? Aren’t we doing a bad enough job looking after this planet? if we all just lived a little more simply. I don’t know about this whole space thing. Why do we have to keep messing with things? We’ll never know, it doesn’t matter how much money is thrown at it, how many scientists are involved, it’s the great is mystery. That is the sacred.

I’ve been watching this series of lectures on the Goddess recently and it has been mind blowing actually, to see how much she was revered all those years ago and the artefacts that have been found and the cave paintings and all this amazing imagery of the big breasts, the big tummy, the big thighs and the public triangle. Often she had no face and no feet, they weren’t viewed as important, not in the grand scheme of things. For she was the provider of life, without her, the woman, the goddess, there will be no life.

Then patriarchy arrived and all of a sudden her image changes, she is sexualised. To see it in artefacts and imagery, really did impact on me. How the manner in which she was visually presented changed. Her breasts became smaller and pert and often now clothed, her pubic triangle, big thighs and big tummy also disappeared, she was masculine physically, with tight stomach muscles in one image, like a six pack, and she was made to be physically attractive to the other sex and demoted too, as less than a man, no longer revered for her ability to give life, but now as the sexual conquest, owned.

Now she rises again, and yet she still has to find her way, because even women reject what she means. Still there is the pressure for the masculine in the physicality, women who have big breast, big tummies and big thighs are always trying to lose them, to change themselves, to become less of what they are, to reject the goddess and her power of life. In Ayurveda this is the classical Kapha, the mother, the nurturer. It saddens me that women naturally designed this way, should give themselves such a blinking hard time for it. You can’t beat a big breasted hug, my mum’s best friend has the biggest boobs I know and I love her the more for it, because it’s comforting somehow, to be hugged by someone that has such power within them, the goddess embodied.

Not to say that those of us scant breasted women should give themselves a hard time either. I’ve still managed to breastfeed both my boys and I’m still breastfeeding Eben at three and three quarters, and I don’t know where the milk comes from, but it comes! I suppose I just mean that we need to embrace all we have , and our children and the lives that we are creating for them, that we allow to be created for them.

I went to visit the Gran’Mere, the goddess at St Martin’s church today. She still wears the necklaces I hung on her at Beltain, I am surprised that no one has removed them, but perhaps people wouldn’t feel touching her. She too has been changed, an attempt has been made to masculine her, give her a male face. She has been damaged and yet someone was kind enough to try to mend her. I thought as I stood there touching her, that at least her breasts have stood the test of time, that they didn’t take those from her, that something stopped them doing that, that even that was a step too far perhaps, and they sliced her in two instead and tried to hide her somewhere in the church when patriarchy arrived and took over, fearful of the mother and her power.

Yet her power has never gone, not really. It cannot be taken from her. Men cannot carry or birth children. It is women that are afforded the opportunity for the transformation that this brings, for the surrendering that comes from the journey to motherhood and of motherhood itself, because there is a power and there is a connection and there is, without doubt, the sacred. I don’t mean that men don’t necessarily feel it, only that women get to touch it, to grow something within them that is part of the great mystery too.

Recently I have heard of a number of ladies who have miscarried or who are preparing for yet more IVF when they are able to access the clinics again and I am reminded how cruel this world can be, on this journey of fertility and conception, and yet how much light we can find if we surrender even to those most cruelest of moments of shattered dreams and yet more heart ache. This prepares us somehow, some of us, who have had to take that journey, for what lies ahead the faced with the choices we need to make with the children we may have brought into this world, who have chosen us because of the choices we might make for them, because we desperately wanted them and were conscious about inviting them in (others were conscious too, you don’t have to have had IVF or to have miscarried to be conscious about pregnancy and motherhood).

The choices are sometimes challenging, because often you have to go against the flow, your truth tells you so. Your anger and frustration reminds you so. It takes courage to follow a different path that has not been walked before, to trust that the unknown will hold you in its gentle bosom, and reveal a little more of its mystery to you, as you surrender to your own truth, come what may, and recognise that you do not have to be beholden to what others have decided is the way, who may not feel the same about life as you do, not really, to deep inside, not yet. It can be hard. But I find that worshipping the goddess gives strength, and the moon, well she, the beautiful moon, is supporting the process. It’s a fiery one; give voice to your truth, and allow a new path to reveal itself to you.

I hope you get to enjoy her energy and can sit with your emotions as they come up. This is the first of the eclipses in the eclipse season and I am told that this relates to what was happening in your life between 2010 and 2013. Funnily enough this was when we were finally settling with the idea of having children, and went one our journey through IVF to finally birth Elijah into this world. So I suppose it is interesting how much this is on my mind and I am reminded by others sharing their pains on their own journey to motherhood with me recently. The moon never lies, she always brings in that to which we need to give our attention. So I’ll go sit with that and see you on the other side!

Love Emma x

The mystery

It’s funny how you can spend so much time trying to make a decision, trying to cover all bases. Yet as I keep being reminded of late, we cannot know, and it is in the unknown that we might feel more alive, more vibrant, because in the unknown we have opened ourselves up to the great mystery. If we always know, then we leave little space for grace, for the magic, for the mystery.

Yet we all know, from lockdown, how difficult it is to live with uncertainty, to not know. Our whole education system and our society is based on knowing. We want to know, to understand, to be able to control, or feel as if we have some control over things. The scientists are especially spun out by Covid-19, because they don’t know its potential, and they are not yet able to control it, or make sense of it. The very foundation of our society as we know it, of knowing it, has been rocked.

I keep hearing of people who have injured themselves, or who have suffered physically in some way of late, and I wonder whether it is due to this deep shaking of our roots, as we are asked to uproot ourselves from the world we knew, to a new world, that has yet been spun. We’re in the liminal zone, between one way of being and another. It’s a beautiful space, because it is not known, a space of transformation, where true change begins and ends, of shifting space and being neither here nor there.

Coming off Facebook is certainly me stepping into the unknown, and yet it is also so known, because there was once a life lived without Facebook, I didn’t miss it then, because I didn’t have anything to miss and yet I don’t miss it now either. The decision took so long to take as I weighed up the options, but at the end of the day, the decision was already made, I already knew. I just needed to take the leap.

Deciding to keep Elijah at home for the rest of this term and ‘school’ him ourselves in our way, is also a step into the unknown, one I have contemplated for many years but have never had the courage, nor the support, nor the opportunity to put into practice. It was a decision that I played with over and over again and then all of a sudden it just became clear. This is not a school system that I want to put him in, for him to learn a new way, when it has taken him so long to settle into the old way, and here he is thriving at home and learning with all the one-to-one attention.

Once decisions are made, it is a like a weight is lifted from your shoulders that you didn’t even know what there, that your heart has been set free and you didn’t even realise that you had imprisoned it in any way. All that going backwards and forwards and back again, is at once resolved and you wonder what all the fuss was about in the first place. A new normal sets in. Life changes. But it happens in a way that feels aligned, and with ease, not as dramatic as you thought it might be.

I am reminded as always of patience. Of being OK with being in the unknown, and of not needing to rush to resolution or to fix, or to somehow create some form of security, whether that is real security or not. It’s tricky, but I feel more alive that I have felt these last few months, as if there is this whole new world that awaits, that I don’t yet know, so that it is unscripted and can be whatever we make it if we choose.

The first of my pot marigold flowers is now in bloom. I can’t tell you the joy of seeing a flower that I planted from seed, reveal it’s beauty to the world. It’s a healing plant too, although I’ll have to cut off the flowers and dry them, before soaking in oil, to make calendula oil that I can then use to make calendula cream. This is also a step into the unknown, of making my own healing portions for myself and the family, and see what might happen!

There’s no lockdown easing party for E and I. We’ve realised that too, over lockdown, that we live quiet lives, socially at least! Even my parents get to go party tonight, having maintained a weekly catch up with their group of friends on Zoom each Friday too. E has managed to escape Zoom this whole lockdown. I’m pleased to take a break from it too, and am looking forward to teaching in person again.

I’m still looking forward to the day though, when I can touch again, and share Reiki and I am sure that time will come. For now though, it is time to enjoy the unknown and the new of this world as it unfolds, allowing for the great mystery to weave its magic through our lives, come what may, thy will be done, and we have the opportunity to feel increasingly alive in the process.

Love Emma x

Life lived off Facebook and Social Media

Taking a break from social media this month has been liberating and I haven’t missed it one bit. I never really got into twitter, and Katie deleted the Beinspired Instagram account for me a few weeks ago now as I was never really into that either. Facebook was the only platform I was using regularly, although it was becoming increasingly uncomfortable for me to do so.

I was late joining Facebook, I had some resistance even back then, I recall my fellow travellers in Nepal back in 2007 dashing off to Internet Cafes at every available opportunity to upload photos to share with friends back home, to brag really, about our trip into the Himalayas. They would spend a fortune and be gone for ages, as the internet was always so slow, and I never really understood the appeal, I was happier going to yoga classes!

I eventually joined up, I don’t remember when, to establish a Beinspired group as much as anything else. It wasn’t so much about being a marketing tool back then, it was just literally to share information and updates on classes with students who were already attending class. In fact the group was private so you had to ask to join it. Then when Steph started helping me out, being much more of a whizz on all things IT and social media, we started using Facebook as a way to share the Beinspired offerings, the videos and audios, the blogs and later the books.

I admit I did get caught up in it and the whole idea of becoming ‘something’. We did what we could to increase the number of people who ‘followed’ and ‘liked’ the page and we shared some content on that basis alone, not necessarily because it was something that needed sharing, or was interesting, but because to ‘work’ Facebook, you need to keep posting. It started to feel desperately uncomfortable for me and I took a break from Facebook during 2019, deleting my own personal account in the process.

But then I was told by Hay House, who describe themselves as a “mind-body-spirit and transformational enterprise”, that if I hoped to ever have a book published by them (or any publishing house for that matter), then it wasn’t so much about the content I was publishing, but about the number of followers I might have on the various social media sites, and the number of people on my distribution list. This was a sad day, when I realised that even a spiritually-orientated organisation was beholden to social media alone and was actively encouraging people onto it.

So I ranted and then I went back onto Facebook and ‘befriended’ everyone I knew, because it seemed that that was the only way. As for Beinspired, I begrudgingly continued with regular posting and the sharing and boosting of events, because everyone told me that that is the way you share and let people know about what is going on, especially here on Guernsey where we have such a small community. But still it didn’t feel right.

Lockdown came and I found myself on Facebook for hours each day, not only using it as a way of sharing yoga through free Facebook Live yoga classes, doing what I felt I could to ease the shock of lockdown both for myself and others, but also engaging with others as we all tried to make sense of what was happening to the lives we had known. Within a few weeks I was feeling drained and I had grown increasingly weary of the increasing time spent on Facebook, and all the fear and anxiety, and information/sharing overload that I was receiving from this platform.

However I still kept buying into it, and literally too, by paying to ‘boost’ classes, which is crazy when I think about it, because the classes were free, so what was that all about; well I know what it was about, I was trying to help people by making them aware yoga was there, and free and available to them. But actually, I was also caught up in the whole idea that of Facebook being a potential marketing too, and this someone who claims she is not running a business! Oh the irony and our own lack of clarity!

The funny thing is, is that during this time, I sought advice about social media from a social media expert, and how I might make it work for me, still buying into this idea that when I publish more books, I need to be more present on social media to spread the word. The lady with whom I chatted was lovely, and full of ideas, but it just made me feel sad to think that I would need to spend so much of my time on social media to make it work for me, and even then, there was no guarantee.

It was then I caught myself and realised that Facebook especially was making me feel trapped and powerless, as if this might be the only way. I questioned what it was I was trying to achieve and what it was all about really. I have always felt uncomfortable buying into the whole ‘running a small business thing’ and yet I realised that whether I was comfortable with it or not, I sort of was buying into it, because if I ever mentioned to anyone that I might leave Facebook, people would always say, “but you can’t, because you are running all business”, so on it I would stay through fear of somehow losing out if I did delete my account.

Thus at the end of April I started questioning what it was then that I was losing out on and thought I’d give it a break, during May, so it might become clearer. The first week or so was interesting, because I did go through a period of grieving, of letting go, and of having to look very honestly at myself and see what it was I felt I was letting go of. In there was the loss of identity, of being ‘followed’ and also of validation, of having my offerings ‘liked’.

I noticed too this fear about people not knowing what I was offering and therefore not attending retreats and events and classes. I recognised how much my sense of worth was still tied up in this! That was a difficult one to stomach, quite literally too, and my solar plexus made itself very known to me both mentally, emotionally and physically, with a little dark night of the soul that followed this, as I questioned my worth and love for self…all this for questioning my use of Facebook, arghhh!

It’s been a bit of healing journey actually, asking me to dig deep. I’ve undertaken some research about Facebook too, the controversies, the law suits, the issues around privacy, political manipulation, ethnic cleansing, the falsehoods, psychological impact and conspiracy theorists, let alone Mark Z’s power to manipulate the world, and it does concern me that on some level, every time I go into Facebook I am feeding into this, all the darkness and underworld that is supported by Facebook and that I am - on some level - impacted by this.

I could argue that the more light we bring to Facebook, those of us trying to bring more light into the world, could counter all the darkness and negativity, but I am not so sure. I feel it energetically; every time I go on there, it feels as if I am entering another world, one where I can easily lose hours of my life if I am not careful, one where I can literally zone out, one where I am sometimes affected emotionally and psychologically. It’s just yet another way to waste time, and especially as it brings with it two more ways of people messaging me as if email, text and WhatsApp was not enough!

I don’t know that it is really as bad as I feel it is, or that I need to be taking it quite so seriously - E is growing weary of discussing the subject, he’s never liked Facebook, has always been wary of Mark Z (and I have always defended Mark Z until I started reading more…) and will be keen when I get off the platform once and for all - but I still feel as if I need to justify the reason that I feel the way I do!

Yet it is difficult, because ultimately it comes down to a feeling. There’s just something telling me that it is not the sacred way, and the path for me come what may. This is what lockdown has taught me and I shall be forever grateful for this. I always felt that 2020 was about embracing more of the sacred, that 2019 was orientating us in that direction, and I certainly began this year keen to explore more of the sacred so perhaps this is the reason that I feel this way and that others feel this way too, as I am aware that others who are more spiritually-orientated are leaving Facebook…and yet a lot stay!

There’s another reason, and I touched on it earlier, I like my life less complicated, less rushed, less pressured; simpler. Facebook brings with it yet another thing to do, yet another thing trying to speed up my life, yet another way for me to have to answer communications from other people. Don’t get me wrong, I like communicating, but I don’t feel that I need so many forms of it, emailing, maintaining the website and sending emails is quite enough for me. If people are meant to find me they will find me, just as if I want to find you I will find you; that’s how spirit works when the connection is needed for some greater good, not just for superficial purposes.

Furthermore, I don’t want you coming on Facebook just for me. Not that you would, as you are probably on thief anyway. But I know some students aren’t and I was trying to encourage them onto it at the beginning of lockdown, simply because my life seemed to be lived on Facebook and I was keen that they were able to access the free yoga content through the live yoga classes, but I shouldn’t have done this really. I don’t want everyone living heads down on phones, on social media (anti-social media), distracted from children and knowing that I’m part of that distraction.

Just as I don’t want to be distracted from my children by getting caught up in ‘conversations’ that have ensnared me in some way and which I feel I need to comment on or involve myself in, again wasting my energy. I don’t need to know. At least if I do need to know then I will find out somehow. I love that I have far more time with my children lived off my phone and that I don’t get so frustrated when they interrupt me when I think I’m doing something more worthy like posting about a class or something. Nonsense! They have always, and will always be more important than that!

So, for now anyway, I have made a conscious decision that I am going to continue a life lived off social media and see how that unfolds. Maybe I’ll change my mind, I’m frequently doing that as I try to navigate the path with heart and deepen my connection to the Goddess, but let’s see how she flows with this, and how source supports this and where it takes Beinspired next.

I’m excited really, about stepping into the unknown, of not really knowing, and embracing the fear that comes with this. As my yoga teacher, Louise, said, “We tend to think of decisions as answers and we need to “get it right”, don’t we?   It will take you all somewhere ... “.

Keep checking the website, and if you haven’t signed up, then sign up for the mailing list as we send a note out weekly to provide updates. Email me if you like at emma@beinspiredby.co.uk and I will pop you on the list!

Love Emma x

Sahasrara - The Crown Chakra

Sahasrara, like Ajna, is beyond the considerations of the body.  It opens when all the other chakras are in balance. It is located in the brain and is described in yogic texts as having a thousand and one petals. It is also in the area of the pineal gland, which produces and regulates some hormones including melatonin.

This chakra represents knowing your true path and living your life accordingly.  It is far removed from the root chakra’s will to survive.  Some people describe the opening of the crown chakra as a surrender to divine will, or being as one with the universe.  The ego withers and is replaced by a universal consciousness.

The crown chakra sees life entirely from a spiritual perspective.  When it is closed or there is a block, there is a refusal to engage in, or even believe in, the spiritual. This complete denial can often lead to arrogance and materialism.

Because the crown chakra gives life meaning, your life generally takes a completely new direction when it is open, and that direction comes from having a (re)new sense of purpose: the purpose of life and of your soul.  By honouring your true self, you love and honour the rest of creation.   

By opening yourself up to the spirit of creation, you learn your true purpose, you receive guidance on your spiritual path and you are able to recognise soul mates.  Often you see the world through new eyes, viewing it with a sense of wonder that you last knew when you were a child.

You begin to understand that life is glorious just the way it is, that everybody is where they are at right now because – consciously or unconsciously – they chose to be there, in that very place, in that very position. Everything is perfect – it can’t be any other way. 

This chakra sees through the delusions of the ego and views them and the rest of life with a certain detachment.  It creates an inner calm that often draws others to you. With peaceful serenity others will be drawn to you in the midst of their own struggles and from this vantage point you may well be able to see the bigger picture for them and be able to support and guide them without getting emotionally involved.

You are deeply connected to the divine and you know that this is what physical life is all about, the cut and thrust, there are no accidents, if people wanted to lead different lives then they would be leading them, everyone is free to choose, only most people don’t know it.  Whether we recognize it or not, we all yearn for oneness with the divine and, through the crown chakra, we may sometimes make that ultimate connection.

An imbalance in the crown chakra can result in depression, migraine-type headaches, the inability to learn, sensitivity to light, sound and the environment, and extreme fatigue. Emotionally, you might have issues with self-knowledge and greater power, experience constant confusion, carry prejudices, have a fear of alienation, suffer with insomnia and have rigid thoughts on religion and spirituality.  

There are various things you can do to connect more fully with this centre

·       Wear white;

·       Bring white flowers into your life;

·       Hold/wear clear quartz;

·       Pray;

·       Listen to devotional music;

·       Chant devotional mantra;

·       Transcendental meditation;

·       Yoga (headstand is said to assist);

·       Ayurveda;

·       Conscious breathing;

·       Being in a spiritual environment like an ashram;

·       Visiting dolmens and standing stones;

·       Burning incense such as Nag Champa;

·       Burning sage.

 Colour: Violet 

Bija Seed Mantra: A silent Om

Yantra: Thousand and one petals.

Related organs: Pineal gland, brain. 

Balanced attributes: Pure knowing, wisdom, grace, integration, oneness with all that is.

Examples of possible chakra deficiency or excess: Fanatical religious beliefs, forgetfulness, dark night of the soul. Schizophrenia.

Life going back to 'normal' and the choices...

In the last few days a number of people have told me how they are worried, concerned and/or scared about life going back to ‘normal’.

I find this interesting, because ultimately we get to choose how we live our lives. I mean, of course, if we are in lockdown then our options will be limited to what we are told by government, but when lockdown eases, our choices return. So we gain choice again and I’m not sure what there is to fear about that.

I do get what people mean though. They are worried, concerned and/or scared of life returning to how it was before lockdown, because lockdown has provided people with the opportunity to live a different way, at a slower, calmer and gentler pace.

People have re-discovered what life was previously missing, more time with family for example, more time to engage in creative endeavours, to paint, to read, to garden, more opportunity to exercise and enjoy nature in the process, walking, cycling, swimming in the sea. I talk to many people who have finally had the time to do all the things they have wanted to do for years, but never quite got around to it.

It’s the same for me, and I have blogged about that already. But the thing is, I cannot imagine that life will go back to how it as previously, because that was then and this is now, and we have the choice to decided how it might play out. We don’t have to start rushing again or spending time in offices that drain nd exhaust us, with negative people and energies. We don’t have to over schedule ourselves so that we are constantly busy. We don’t have to do any of this.

We have the choice to say no, and to live in a way that is aligned with our true selves and want we need from life now. This is not a dress rehearsal. Thus if something no longer feels aligned then we should feel that we can do something about it, that in letting it go, something more aligned will enter in instead.

This whole subject reminds me of the crown chakra, so I will publish that blog post next, as I was editing it this morning and then a couple of people emailed about their concerns, and I couldn’t help noticing a link. The crown is all about faith and connection to the divine and seeing through the delusions of the ego so that you can see the bigger picture, and live in harmony with your own true nature and the nature of all beings, the oneness then, really knowing/embodying this.

So remember that. You do get to choose. No one is holding a gun to your head (well as far as I know!), and if you are up against an obstacle, then look at that, because something inside you clearly needs some attention and resolution, there is a part of you that is still fragmented and needs bringing back into the whole, some compassion for self, some love, and I suspect…something around the mother too.

The mother and the goddess just keeps coming up. Mothering ourselves, mothering others, how we’ve been mothered, and how we relate to our families, to our children, to nature and to the world. Lockdown has given us the opportunity to experience what life might feel like with shifted priorities. It’s brought the mother back into the home. We women are allowed to enjoy that, we don’t have to see it as negative or demeaning, or as if the feminine quest has been in vain.

I’ve never been happier than I am in the home, with my children, with what makes my life worth living. This has become increasingly obvious to me and it was confusing initially, because all the messages told me that to be an empowered woman I needed to be busy, busy, busy, always juggling, children, work, children, work, and earning money, as if this alone, materials once again, proves my worth as a twenty first century woman.

I know now that I was buying into this illusion as much as so many who claim to be empowered are also doing. There is nothing empowered in my opinion about being so busy that you haven’t got time for your children, or for sitting and watching the birds in the garden, or eating your lunch without also multi-taking (although I do still find myself doing this!).

We’ve been sold a lie and I’m pretty sure this is the reason so many of us women just have this feeling, something about the goddess, something about being a woman, questioning, like we’re slowly waking from a deep sleep, cannot quite remember, but there’s something that makes us hesitate…and question the first/next step into something new and as yet unknown, but a different direction from the one we have come from…but then we question, “what if we get it wrong”…as if decisions need a definitive outcome…and yet decisions will always take you somewhere…

It’s your path, you choose which direction it takes…

Sending love, and happy choices ahead! xxxx

Ajna Chakra - The Third Eye Centre

The Ajna chakra is situated in between the eyebrows, in the midbrain near the pituitary gland.  It is sometimes called the third eye as it is said to be the source of inner vision.  Science now tells us that where the yogis located Ajna happens to be the point where the right and left optic nerves cross in the brain so it literally is a third eye of sorts. 

The third eye is where Ida, Pingala and Sushumna meet. Ida is a nerve channel on the left side of Sushumna (the central channel) in which vital air passes through. It is also related to the left nostril, to the feminine, to Shakti, and to the coolness of the moon. Pingala is a nerve channel on the right side of Sushumna in which vital air passes. It is related to the right nostril, to the masculine, to Shiva and to the sun. 

The Sushumna nadi (channel) is the body’s great river, which runs from the base of the spine to the crown of the head, passing through each of the seven chakras. It is the channel through which kundalini and higher spiritual consciousness rises from its origin at Muladhara (root chakra)to its true home at the Sahasrara chakra at the crown of the head. In subtle terms, Sushumna is the path to enlightenment.

Ida and Pingala spiral around the Sushumna, crossing each other at every chakra, and all three meet at Anja, the command centre, between the eyebrows. The interaction between Ida and Pingala corresponds to the internal dance between intuition and rationality, consciousness and vital power and the right and left hemispheres of the brain.  

If your head is tilted too far upward then Ajna will become too open and you will be spaced out and prone to accidents (although very insightful spiritually).  If the head is too far forward (because of stress and tension) Ajna will stay closed.

Essentially this chakra is associated with the brain, and when this chakra is in balance, you can exhibit extraordinary clarity of thought, combining logical reasoning with intuition, knowingness and inspiration.  The third eye chakra strives for completeness. In terms of the self this means inner harmony between body, mind and spirit, and in terms of the Divine, this means harmony between the creator and the whole of creation itself.

As with any spiritual development opening the third eye chakra requires a level of intense honesty with both yourself and others.  Unflinching honesty can make your life – and other’s lives – quite uncomfortable at times.  When the third eye chakra is open and balanced, it accepts no excuses.  So, however difficult a choice may be if the third eye chakra knows it is the right one, you are compelled to follow that path.  Absolving yourself from responsibility by blaming your past on other people or things, simply will not work.  

Because the third eye chakra can make our lives so uncomfortable, most people find it easier to close it down.  By doing so you don’t need to worry about the path you are taking in life or about the effects of your words and actions on others – an opposite state to mindfulness, in which you examine the motivation behind every thought, deed, word and action.

However, when you close down the third eye a series of muddles and poor choices; you can lose your sense of purpose and become so self-absorbed that your relationships become dysfunctional. You might also suffer with headaches, sinus issues, blurred vision, eyestrain, seizures, hearing loss and hormonal issues. Emotionally you might suffer with mood swings, volatility, an inability to look at your own fears and an inability to learn from others. 

The spark of inspiration that is ignited by opening the third eye chakra exists in all of us.  When the third eye chakra’s energy is very strong, inspiration takes many positive forms: from flashes of intuition to sudden insights about how to solve a problem, from a sense of the Divine in all things to moments of pure clairvoyance.

Ajna is not thought of as being balanced or imbalanced the way the other chakras are.  Rather, Ajna is either open or closed.  When the mind is still and the lower chakras are in balance, then Ajna chakra opens to communicate with the higher intelligence of the crown chakra and brings you to that place of inspiration, clarity of thought and healing.  When the lower chakras are out of balance, it remains closed and you lose your ability to connect to the Divine.

 So in a sense there does need to be balance, a mix between the internal and the external.  The start of actually beginning to see what has always been there, though you never noticed it before – reading the energy, seeing the aura, sensing the person, place, thing etc.  The best way to do this is to be quiet and simply observe, see the colours, movements, shadows, mannerisms, spaces, time, grass grow, hear the noise, the silences, whispers on the wind, emotion on the breath, your inner voice.

 But remember that you are a spiritual being already, fully enlightened and already Divine so don’t spend all your time in meditation trying to become what you already are...get out and enjoy life physically, it is after all why you are here.

It is worth mentioning that on a hormonal level, the Ajna chakra is associated with the pituitary gland, which is often called the master gland, as it secretes hormones that control the activity of other endocrine glands and regulate various biological processes.  Ajna is therefore also thought of as the command centre of the glands that relate to each of the chakras.

There are various things you can do to connect more fully with this centre

·       Wear purple

·       Wear/hold/place amethyst in the third eye.

·       Alternate Nostril Breathing

·       A balanced yoga practice

·       Ayurveda – especially Shirodhara

·       Receiving Reiki, but also becoming Reiki attuned. Reiki will heighten your connection to your intuition.

·       Transcendental meditation;

·       Burning sandalwood;

·       Sound healing – gong baths or listening to someone chanting ‘Om’.

·       Chanting ‘Om’ yourself.

Colour: Indigo

Element: Ether

Bija Seed Mantra: Om

Yantra: Two petals of pure white colour.

Related organs: Hypothalamus, limbic system and the neighbouring region with connections to the pituitary gland. 

Balanced attributes: Intuition, clairvoyance, imagination, trust in life, discernment.

Examples of possible chakra deficiency or excess: Absent-mindedness, mental confusion, inability to cope with day-to-day life, self-hatred, nightmares, headaches, accidents.