Life lived off Facebook and Social Media
Taking a break from social media this month has been liberating and I haven’t missed it one bit. I never really got into twitter, and Katie deleted the Beinspired Instagram account for me a few weeks ago now as I was never really into that either. Facebook was the only platform I was using regularly, although it was becoming increasingly uncomfortable for me to do so.
I was late joining Facebook, I had some resistance even back then, I recall my fellow travellers in Nepal back in 2007 dashing off to Internet Cafes at every available opportunity to upload photos to share with friends back home, to brag really, about our trip into the Himalayas. They would spend a fortune and be gone for ages, as the internet was always so slow, and I never really understood the appeal, I was happier going to yoga classes!
I eventually joined up, I don’t remember when, to establish a Beinspired group as much as anything else. It wasn’t so much about being a marketing tool back then, it was just literally to share information and updates on classes with students who were already attending class. In fact the group was private so you had to ask to join it. Then when Steph started helping me out, being much more of a whizz on all things IT and social media, we started using Facebook as a way to share the Beinspired offerings, the videos and audios, the blogs and later the books.
I admit I did get caught up in it and the whole idea of becoming ‘something’. We did what we could to increase the number of people who ‘followed’ and ‘liked’ the page and we shared some content on that basis alone, not necessarily because it was something that needed sharing, or was interesting, but because to ‘work’ Facebook, you need to keep posting. It started to feel desperately uncomfortable for me and I took a break from Facebook during 2019, deleting my own personal account in the process.
But then I was told by Hay House, who describe themselves as a “mind-body-spirit and transformational enterprise”, that if I hoped to ever have a book published by them (or any publishing house for that matter), then it wasn’t so much about the content I was publishing, but about the number of followers I might have on the various social media sites, and the number of people on my distribution list. This was a sad day, when I realised that even a spiritually-orientated organisation was beholden to social media alone and was actively encouraging people onto it.
So I ranted and then I went back onto Facebook and ‘befriended’ everyone I knew, because it seemed that that was the only way. As for Beinspired, I begrudgingly continued with regular posting and the sharing and boosting of events, because everyone told me that that is the way you share and let people know about what is going on, especially here on Guernsey where we have such a small community. But still it didn’t feel right.
Lockdown came and I found myself on Facebook for hours each day, not only using it as a way of sharing yoga through free Facebook Live yoga classes, doing what I felt I could to ease the shock of lockdown both for myself and others, but also engaging with others as we all tried to make sense of what was happening to the lives we had known. Within a few weeks I was feeling drained and I had grown increasingly weary of the increasing time spent on Facebook, and all the fear and anxiety, and information/sharing overload that I was receiving from this platform.
However I still kept buying into it, and literally too, by paying to ‘boost’ classes, which is crazy when I think about it, because the classes were free, so what was that all about; well I know what it was about, I was trying to help people by making them aware yoga was there, and free and available to them. But actually, I was also caught up in the whole idea that of Facebook being a potential marketing too, and this someone who claims she is not running a business! Oh the irony and our own lack of clarity!
The funny thing is, is that during this time, I sought advice about social media from a social media expert, and how I might make it work for me, still buying into this idea that when I publish more books, I need to be more present on social media to spread the word. The lady with whom I chatted was lovely, and full of ideas, but it just made me feel sad to think that I would need to spend so much of my time on social media to make it work for me, and even then, there was no guarantee.
It was then I caught myself and realised that Facebook especially was making me feel trapped and powerless, as if this might be the only way. I questioned what it was I was trying to achieve and what it was all about really. I have always felt uncomfortable buying into the whole ‘running a small business thing’ and yet I realised that whether I was comfortable with it or not, I sort of was buying into it, because if I ever mentioned to anyone that I might leave Facebook, people would always say, “but you can’t, because you are running all business”, so on it I would stay through fear of somehow losing out if I did delete my account.
Thus at the end of April I started questioning what it was then that I was losing out on and thought I’d give it a break, during May, so it might become clearer. The first week or so was interesting, because I did go through a period of grieving, of letting go, and of having to look very honestly at myself and see what it was I felt I was letting go of. In there was the loss of identity, of being ‘followed’ and also of validation, of having my offerings ‘liked’.
I noticed too this fear about people not knowing what I was offering and therefore not attending retreats and events and classes. I recognised how much my sense of worth was still tied up in this! That was a difficult one to stomach, quite literally too, and my solar plexus made itself very known to me both mentally, emotionally and physically, with a little dark night of the soul that followed this, as I questioned my worth and love for self…all this for questioning my use of Facebook, arghhh!
It’s been a bit of healing journey actually, asking me to dig deep. I’ve undertaken some research about Facebook too, the controversies, the law suits, the issues around privacy, political manipulation, ethnic cleansing, the falsehoods, psychological impact and conspiracy theorists, let alone Mark Z’s power to manipulate the world, and it does concern me that on some level, every time I go into Facebook I am feeding into this, all the darkness and underworld that is supported by Facebook and that I am - on some level - impacted by this.
I could argue that the more light we bring to Facebook, those of us trying to bring more light into the world, could counter all the darkness and negativity, but I am not so sure. I feel it energetically; every time I go on there, it feels as if I am entering another world, one where I can easily lose hours of my life if I am not careful, one where I can literally zone out, one where I am sometimes affected emotionally and psychologically. It’s just yet another way to waste time, and especially as it brings with it two more ways of people messaging me as if email, text and WhatsApp was not enough!
I don’t know that it is really as bad as I feel it is, or that I need to be taking it quite so seriously - E is growing weary of discussing the subject, he’s never liked Facebook, has always been wary of Mark Z (and I have always defended Mark Z until I started reading more…) and will be keen when I get off the platform once and for all - but I still feel as if I need to justify the reason that I feel the way I do!
Yet it is difficult, because ultimately it comes down to a feeling. There’s just something telling me that it is not the sacred way, and the path for me come what may. This is what lockdown has taught me and I shall be forever grateful for this. I always felt that 2020 was about embracing more of the sacred, that 2019 was orientating us in that direction, and I certainly began this year keen to explore more of the sacred so perhaps this is the reason that I feel this way and that others feel this way too, as I am aware that others who are more spiritually-orientated are leaving Facebook…and yet a lot stay!
There’s another reason, and I touched on it earlier, I like my life less complicated, less rushed, less pressured; simpler. Facebook brings with it yet another thing to do, yet another thing trying to speed up my life, yet another way for me to have to answer communications from other people. Don’t get me wrong, I like communicating, but I don’t feel that I need so many forms of it, emailing, maintaining the website and sending emails is quite enough for me. If people are meant to find me they will find me, just as if I want to find you I will find you; that’s how spirit works when the connection is needed for some greater good, not just for superficial purposes.
Furthermore, I don’t want you coming on Facebook just for me. Not that you would, as you are probably on thief anyway. But I know some students aren’t and I was trying to encourage them onto it at the beginning of lockdown, simply because my life seemed to be lived on Facebook and I was keen that they were able to access the free yoga content through the live yoga classes, but I shouldn’t have done this really. I don’t want everyone living heads down on phones, on social media (anti-social media), distracted from children and knowing that I’m part of that distraction.
Just as I don’t want to be distracted from my children by getting caught up in ‘conversations’ that have ensnared me in some way and which I feel I need to comment on or involve myself in, again wasting my energy. I don’t need to know. At least if I do need to know then I will find out somehow. I love that I have far more time with my children lived off my phone and that I don’t get so frustrated when they interrupt me when I think I’m doing something more worthy like posting about a class or something. Nonsense! They have always, and will always be more important than that!
So, for now anyway, I have made a conscious decision that I am going to continue a life lived off social media and see how that unfolds. Maybe I’ll change my mind, I’m frequently doing that as I try to navigate the path with heart and deepen my connection to the Goddess, but let’s see how she flows with this, and how source supports this and where it takes Beinspired next.
I’m excited really, about stepping into the unknown, of not really knowing, and embracing the fear that comes with this. As my yoga teacher, Louise, said, “We tend to think of decisions as answers and we need to “get it right”, don’t we? It will take you all somewhere ... “.
Keep checking the website, and if you haven’t signed up, then sign up for the mailing list as we send a note out weekly to provide updates. Email me if you like at emma@beinspiredby.co.uk and I will pop you on the list!
Love Emma x
