Mabon blessings - the autumnal equinox!

Isn’t it interesting that on the spring Equinox six months ago, the UK went into lockdown, and here we are on the autumnal equinox and the UK tightens its restrictions to try to control Covid-19 once more, and this for a further six months, taking us full circle to the spring equinox!

The timing is fascinating! Especially when you consider that equinoxes represent two of the cross-quarter festivals of the year, when day and night are perfectly balanced, the cross-over points between darkness and light and light and darkness, depending on where you are in the world and which season you are in.

Here in the west, the autumnal equinox marks the harvest, where we might reap what we sowed, and while the earth remains balanced between light and darl for three days, the days will soon get shorter and the nights longer as we are encouraged to hibernate.

This last six months have been life changing for so many, highlighting our fundamental fear around dying (more on this soon) and the fact that try as we might to ensure certainty in our life, life here on Planet Earth has always been uncertain and always will be, this is also part of the human condition.

And yet there are some certainties such as the sun rising each morning and setting each evening even if we cannot see it, the tides changing, the moon moving through her cycle and the seasons too, they have their rhythm. This is where we find certainty, in the rhythm of life and in our own rhythm, if we are able to feel into it and trust in it.

So in many respects there is something rather comforting about this autumnal shift, even though we can’t be certain exactly what it is ushering in for any of us, but it gives us yet another opportunity to trust in the process and go with the flow, and to appreciate the abundance in our lives, all the harvesting and the bounty this brings.

This balance of light and dark reminds us not only of balance in our own lives (how balanced do we feel?) but of the dualities of life, that we cannot have one without the other such as light and dark, harmony without disharmony, joy without sorry, and how we must find acceptance of all this and not be attached or averse to either way, because that will only lead to our suffering. It is therefore about a balanced perspective, of compassion, non-judgement and the ability to see all sides.

I can’t help thinking that Covid-19 has been helping us to learn more of this lesson. To get out of our comfort zones and our conditioned ways of thinking and start to shift the perspective a little, to appreciate more of what we have and stop focusing so much on what we don’t have, to find the positive in every situation, while appreciating the negative, and not getting attached to either way.

Here I have definitely felt a shift these last six months and I am anticipating further shifts ahead, heck we have another round of eclipses coming up at the end of the year so that will no doubt have an impact. But what I am finding is the manner in which I am learning more about my mind and it is becoming clearer the way in which we create our own reality based on our perceptions of the duality and whether we are therefore drawn to something or turn away from it and how we suffer as a consequence. Also kindness. I am learning a lot about kindness to self especially!

I am also appreciating the simple life, which I have longed for for a while and now finally Covid ushered this in so I am less distracted by the idea of getting off island and being so busy that my head is constantly thinking about the future events. This is a gift in many respects, the opportunity to be more present and I’m grateful to Covid for that.

So today I did celebrate. Sadly the sun was not shining for sunrise as I had hoped, but Eben and I collected leaves from the wonderful trees around Beau Sejour. I’m pretty sure this chestnut is one of the older trees on the island, like maybe 350 years old, E would know but he’s asleep so let’s just say its that old for now! It felt pretty cool regardless! I thought it rather appropriate that Eben was munching an autumnal apple when I took the photo!

We went home and we painted the leaves and made prints, which we are intending to cut out and send to family members around the world, Eben is desperate for some post to come back to him, so we figured we should get the ball rolling by sending stuff our first! This was fun, even though it did mean the paint went everywhere, but I suppose this is all part of the fun!

We planted acorns too. Many of you know we have established our ‘Plant A Tree Project’ and so we are making the most of any opportunity to grow trees that can be planted by others, children especially, in their gardens and spread our love of trees, and make the world a better place in the process…it’s the small things that become the large things, or so we hope!

We went blackberrying on our way back home from Saints for our swim this afternoon and I made a blackberry and apple crumble with apples from my neighbour’s apple trees and some gluten free oats and seeds. It was yummy!

I’m curious to see how life unfolds this next six months and as much as I love summer, I have finally accepted our retreat into the darkness of winter and shall embrace all the gifts that this brings. With any luck it might continue to shine a light into the shadows, not just individually but collectively too!

Mabon blessings! xxxx

Happy Lammas!

Today is Lammas, the celebration of the first grain harvest, a time for gathering in and giving thanks for abundance. This cycle continues to Mabon or the Autumnal Equinox bringing the second harvest of fruit and then Samhain and the third and final harvest of nuts and berries.

The word lammas is derived from ‘loaf mass’ and is indicative of how much the first grain and the first loaf of the harvesting cycle was honoured. I thought I would honour this today by making bread for the first time, at least on my own.

In theory the fullness of the present harvest already holds at its very heart the seed of all future harvest. I have had a sense of this recently with my medicinal plants and I’m pretty sure they have been telling me to get them out of their pots and get them into the earth so that they can self seed. I spent today preparing. We had to move a whole heap of granite from out of the pigsty, to make space for about 150 saplings that we are nurturing as part of our Plant A Tree Project (more on this in the spring). It was hard work!

However in many respects this was the easy bit. Once we had shifted as much stone as we could for now, and moved all the saplings, we then had to prepare the earth in a spot in the garden which has not been dug over before. I was up for the challenge though and possibly the mood I was in, what with the full moon approaching and here in my dark days of releasing, I set to task with the spade and turned it all over while the family watched a film!

This morning I had it in mind that I wanted to establish a moon garden, a part of the earth dedicated to the moon in celebration of Lammas, but I hadn’t figured out how that might work. However as I dug the earth I suddenly realised that this patch of land faced the rising full moon. Perfect! I had prepared my moon garden without even realising it; I’m pretty sure my medicinal plants will like the space and we’ve let it settle with the waxing moon energising it. With any luck the plants will settle into the ground on the waning moon and rest easily into it.

We visited La Gran’mère du Chimquière this afternoon. I left some bread and a bouquet of herbs gathered from the garden, I left them perched on her right shoulder as E said they’d attract rats if I left them on the ground; he’s forever the health and safety one! I love this goddess, she’s so calm and so centred and so peaceful. There’s no drama with her. I know that sounds ridiculous but when you see her, and especially when you touch her you’ll know what I mean.

I went out to La Varde this evening too, with my friend Chris to have a look at the goddess who resides within this beautifully calm and peaceful space. It really is a wonderful place and we felt welcomed and awed by it. The guardians were there as usual, keeping a watchful eye, and there was a quiet opportunity to say thanks. The skies were magical when we left too, as if the earth was kissing us with her beauty - or perhaps we were kissing her too.

I don’t have expectation about the harvest, I think that’s what has made the growing of the plants so enjoyable. There has been no expectation, and no attachment to the fruits of my labour. That is except for one little fella, the liquorice! I had been told that liquorice is challenging to grow from seed but I was confident, because I had no reason not to be, perhaps a little arrogant when I reflect on it, after all, the rest of the seeds had been so abundant for me (apart from Culver’s root, that was tricky too!).

My competitiveness came out with the liquorice and I did my best to nurture the seeds, but to no avail, or so it seemed. And then finally a shoot appeared and I was excited, it looked like I might get my liquorice plant after all - non-attachment out the window with this one! I watched it grow and tended to it with lots of love and Reiki and was curious because the leaves didn’t look like what I imagined liquorice would look like.

And alas there was a reason for this, because last week a daisy blossomed from what I thought was my liquorice plant and I laughed out loud at the cosmos joke, reminding me to let go of expectation and attachment to the fruits of our labour, and to grow for the love of it, not to feed my ego. It was a fabulous lesson and never more so because daisies represent joy and happiness; grow for the joy of it! Lesson learned! I’ll try a liquorice next year instead!

I am grateful, from the bottom of my heart and from all of my being because those little seeds that Fi offered out to her friends on Facebook just before I deleted my account has been life changing. A whole new world has opened up to me and I have discovered or perhaps rediscovered a love of growing and of tending to the earth and I can’t get enough of it. I am thoroughly enjoying drying the flowers and leaves in preparation for more potions and teas.

Recently I’ve using dried lavender, rosemary and sage to make bath oils, which just smell divine and are healing in their own ways, I have made bath salts with them, and this just makes for such a beautiful bath experience. The sage is very cleansing after energy work and the lavender definitely prepares you for a good night’s sleep. Nature knows best and I am grateful to have the opportunity to learn more and be guided by her. I’ve got calendula flowers soaking in almond oil out in the moonlight, I’m excited about making that into salve in a few week’s time. This all infused with Reiki from seed to salve, I’m grateful for that too.

I’m also grateful for my family for all their love and support, for the challenges and the joys, the sleep deprivation and the minecraft and the guns! There is never a dull moment and I love that they entertain all this, the witchery stuff, the hanging herbs drying in our kitchen, the time spent in the garden, the help with the potion making and the fact Elijah loves nothing more than that “yellow bath stuff”! They indulge me with my Reiki requests, they are both attuned now and will slowly learn what this means, for now it is magic hands and that’s good enough for me.

It’s a marvellous beginning harvest and I hope for you too. I can see the results of the seeds planted, and yet i in ways I could never have imagined, a bit like the daisy. Sometimes things just happen. In the last few years I have really steered away from vision boards and forcing an outcome, because I noticed that in my life the most life changing things have just entered from nowhere without any effort on my part. So I celebrate that too, the great mystery and being OK with that, with the not knowing and just seeing where it all goes as you try to keep in alignment; that’s all you need to do. Plant the seeds, tend to them and keep open to all possibility.

Sending love on Lammas.

And so the wheel turns...

It’s been an interesting day, full of a whole range of emotions from excitement, to anger, to frustration, to sadness, to anger, to hope, to joy and back to sadness again. It’s selfish really as I’m not sad for the loss of life to the virus, but for the loss of the life that I, and others like me, loved. Yet I am very aware, and this on the eve of the turning of the wheel and the Spring Equinox, reminding us of balance, and days away from the new moon cycle, that all endings bring with them new beginnings. We need a collective change, and Mother Earth needs a break. So let's hope that those new beginnings usher in a way of ‘being’ that finds us living in far greater harmony with ourselves, with Mother Earth and with every other living thing. I hear there are fights in the supermarkets in the UK, so maybe there is some way to go, but let’s hope and pray. Here’s seven positive things from today:

I was told that with the better quality of air in China ‘they’ reckon 50,000 lives will be saved!

With children soon to be off school, we parents get to spend more time with them and take some responsibility for their education – personally I’ve always been curious about unschooling so we might give that a whirl.

Dare I say, women are forced back into the home, whether that’s positive or not who can tell, but maybe we can rest without all the rushing around that life otherwise entails (and this with a hyper 3 year old in the household!).

There are less cars on the roads in Guernsey, which is a joy when cycling.

The hedgerows are absolutely stunning as spring blooms and nature is buzzing with a potent vibration (maybe enough to shift the virus, let’s hope!).

The wheel is turning, the Spring Equinox will bring a shift and more light is flooding in.

The sea is 9.2 degrees and absolutely beautiful at the moment! Saints was stunning this morning (another benefit to children being off school, no need to rush off the beach!).

Love, love, love. xxx

Letting Go into the Darkness of Winter

I haven’t written a blog post for ages as life has been a bit full, catching up on office work and Ayurvedic study from when we were in the Outer Hebrides (and trying to land back to life here in Guernsey) and then finally publishing my book, Namaste! (You can buy it from Amazon here or Waterstones here).

It’s funny as the book publishing was a bit of an anti-climax having started it 11 years ago and giving up on it a number of times over the years, but always having it in the back of my mind that I really wanted to publish it, because it has been a dream and I like dreams to come true! I’d lived the thought of publishing my book many times in my mind, in my sankalpa repeated during yoga nidra, on healing mandalas, in my journal and in my prayers, so it was almost a relief to let it go, come what may. 

The planetary dancing the last few months has made it feel very full-on for people and I almost sighed of relief when I felt a shift a little while ago. While I don’t know much about it from an astronomical perspective, I can feel it; there’s been a slowing down. It’s more than that though, at least for me. It’s a gentle release into the darkness, into the unknown. A shifting from one way of being to another, and yet not really knowing what that is, but also not needing to know, because there’s a need to trust the process (as the caterpillar trusts in the process to become a butterfly perhaps). 

It’s happening in nature right now anyhow and I have noticed that the more I attempt to acknowledge the turning of the wheel and the changing seasons, let alone the moon cycle, then one can more easily see how our lives are a reflection of that (the micro and the macro). We’re moving further into the darkness as the winter solstice approaches in less than a month, and the trees continue to shed their leaves as all of nature lets go. 

Thus all around us is a closing in, a hibernation, and as a reflection I feel this within me too - a need to be even gentler in my yoga practice, with candlelight and eyes mainly closed, dropping forever inwards, deepening the breath and lying silently on my mat, resting. I’ve also been enjoying nurturing yoga nidra, thanks to Uma Dinsmore-Tuli and the free yoga nidras on the Yoga Nidra Network (thank you Uma!). There are also some yoga nidra audios on our website that we’ve recorded too - you can find them here.

It’s certainly a time of endings and letting things settle before the new beginnings, as Imbolc will approach on 1 February, bringing with it that spark that gives life to the first buds of spring. It can be uncomfortable, the not knowing how the new may enter in, but trust it we must, because forcing it will do us no favours in the long run (trust me, I’ve tried that many times previously).

Of course new year will bring with it the pressure to will it in, to force the new, what with new year’s resolutions (sigh) as many try to force themselves to be someone that they’re not and never will be. And so they’ll berate themselves for a while for not losing weight or stopping drinking or truly making the change that they’ve decided they must make. But actually all they need to do is stop the trying, and just step more fully into who they are to begin with, even if that means still drinking the wine and eating the milk chocolate.  

Perhaps it’s in the authenticity that we find the balance so the bad habits drop away naturally, without the need to force and be unkind to ourselves in the process. Much better if you ask me to begin the new year being even kinder and more loving to ourselves than we may have done previously. Maybe that’s where the true shift really needs to begin – in the positive, rather than the negative. I’ll be teaching a yoga class on new year’s day (click here for details) for this very reason. I’m reminded time and time again that there’s nothing wrong with us really, only in how we perceive ourselves in the first place.

Less is more I’m also reminded, so all I really wanted to say was that I hope you’re all well and navigating this autumnal fall with a smile on your face. It won’t be long until Christmas, and that will distract us enough to get us to the new year and then who knows what that will bring but I’m pretty excited about it, and the retreating between now and then. So enjoy the ambiguity and the letting go and the darkness and the insights this provides. And enjoy my book too, if you can find the time! 

Shifting around the autumnal equinox!

After what was an amazing retreat in Glastonbury, it’s been a little tricky fitting back into “life” in Guernsey this week.  This has not been helped by the rather challenging shifting energy of the autumnal equinox.

I’ve a sense that this equinox is always rather tricky but this year it’s been particularly testing.  And we haven’t even reached D-day just yet!

Work has been especially difficult. Most people don’t realise that I’m a company secretary by profession, working part-time and flexible hours for a wealth management company. Well, this week, the egos have been out in force – I suspect I’m a little more sensitive to it due to Mabon and the Glastonbury experience, but nonetheless, phew, it’s been a touch interesting.

It seems that the fact you have “Head of”, “Director” or some other inane title to define your role means that for some reason you think it’s OK to treat others as if they are less worthy. Umm hello people, we’re all people, right? One day we’re all going to die and titles will be utterly meaningless in the grand scheme of things. People won’t remember us for our job title, they’ll remember us for how loving, compassionate and kind we might have been (and forget us quite quickly if we haven’t been any of these things) and whether we’ve made a difference to people’s lives/the world.

I find it incredible that people – sensible, intelligent, responsible people - can create such a divide within an organisation, and yet not have any awareness of this or the impact on people’s lives, nor on society and the world as a whole. We need to remember that we are all connected and our actions affect everyone, not just those immediate to us. 

We are all the same. Human. People. Living. Breathing. Remember! The sooner we realise this the better for everyone.

I can’t tell you how happy I was yesterday reading about the landmark ruling against two leading drug companies, which could save the NHS hundreds of millions a year. The case centred on the treatment of patients with a common eye condition, wet age-related macular degeneration. Twelve NHS bodies in the north east of England were offering these patients Avastin, a cheaper alternative to the licensed drug, Lucentis. The drug companies were trying to prevent the NHS from doing this. 

Drug company Novartis said they were "disappointed" because patients were being asked to accept an unlicensed treatment to save the NHS money. The truth is, unlicensed or not, the drug was doing the job. Crazy that the drug company thinks the NHS should have to pay more for a drug in the first place – don’t they want to help people? Perhaps they do but clearly making money is much more important.

The pharmaceutical companies have been holding people to ransom for years and putting profit ahead of people’s wellbeing. I don’t doubt that there are scientists working for these companies who truly want to find a cure and make a difference to people’s lives. But I’m also well aware that the bottom line is what is important to these companies. This saddens me beyond belief. People’s lives hang in the balance because of a balance sheet and a profit and loss account.

But sadly this is the very nature of many companies, especially the bigger ones – maximising profits regardless of the ethics. Not only do they put people’s lives at risk for the bottom line, but so many people sell their souls to work in these organisations, trapped because they don’t see they have an option as they have to pay the mortgage. I’ve lost count of the number of times someone tells me that they work for an organisation that they have little interest in, but they feel they have to do it to afford to live.

Perhaps fundamental to this is the fact that we live in a debt-driven society. It keeps the masses controlled so I can’t see this changing any time soon. Ridiculous when you think about it, that so many are sadly and effectively ‘trapped’, spending their lives working in jobs they don’t enjoy to pay mortgages for houses that they rarely inhabit as they’re at work paying for them. But that’s how life has become and there doesn’t really seem to be many options to live differently.

What’s even worse is that many end up sick, suffering with stress, depression, anxiety and/or paranoia as they try to live a life that doesn’t truly suit them. This isn’t helped by the modern pace of life that sees us constantly rushing…always rushing…there’s never enough time, always too much to fit in, too much to do, too many deadlines, too much choice, too much of everything.

And we destroy our beautiful planet in the process of all this rushing, because we don’t have time to do things differently. We put redundant “stuff” in landfill because we can’t be bothered/are too busy to recycle them, we continue to buy products wrapped/held in plastic even though we know we shouldn’t but they’re easy and we’re too busy. We ignore litter at the side of the road because we think it’s someone else’s job and we don’t have time. We clean our houses, our schools, our hospitals and our offices with chemicals that get flushed or washed into the water system.

We’re also too busy rushing that we don’t always have time to look after ourselves, not properly. We don’t have time to grow our own food, or to pop to the veggie stall, choosing some plastic-packaged produce from the nearest shop instead, too busy to cook from fresh, putting foods into our body that have very few nutrients and certainly lack the love of good home cooking cooked by those of a loving heart.  

Then there is the land being utterly destroyed with all the building and the quarrying and the reaping of the natural resources so that we can keep living as we’re doing, and so we can keep rushing. I’ll never forget a little 4-year old boy I met commenting that my car emitted pollution. I was quite taken aback because my car was no different to anyone else’s and then I realised. Yes. My car does excrete pollution. So does his Mummy’s, he wasn’t judging me, just making me aware. Using my car means that I can rush more easily! 

Elijah is fascinated by smoke coming out of a vehicle. On our trip to Glastonbury he was always looking for exhausts with smoke. It was heartening to see so few now really emit smoke, but emit we do. Pollution. Into the air. That we breathe. That nourishes the plants we eat. 

On and on.

We’re living in a way that isn’t sustainable but who really cares? We just keep living the same way because that’s all we know and because that’s how society goes. I can tell you from experience that it’s difficult doing things differently, going against the norm, but perhaps it’s time that we all started doing this a little bit more.

This week it has gotten to me a little bit and I’ve been thinking about the many ways that I don’t live in harmony with my inner truth and with the world as a whole. Plastic is a good example of this. I loathe plastic and seek to reduce my use of this. But still I continue to buy plastic packaged fruits because there is no other option if my sons want to continue to eat the berries they love. I’ve tried to overlook it or make excuses for it, but how can I expect things to change unless I, the consumer, make the change.

I haven’t yet managed to avoid buying the berries, but I was delighted to come across www.theplasticfreeshop.co.uk where I invested in a number of plastic free products including deodorant, toothpaste, dental floss and lunchboxes. I was delighted when my goodies arrived in record time and beautifully packaged and with a thank you note from the lady running the site.

I also finally got around to ordering a starter pack of reusable and environmentally (and vagina) friendly sanitary pads from www.honouryourflow.co.uk. I’ve been meaning to buy these for a while but the initial cost always seemed so high… I wish I hadn’t waited so long because they’ll more than pay for themselves before long. Until now, I’ve tended to use the Natracare range, but I find that they can leak and cause soreness. 

The Bodyform stuff doesn’t leak, but it’s non-environmentally friendly (made entirely of plastic) and definitely creates soreness, especially with that awful scented stuff. So these soft and beautifully packaged and presented pads are a revelation and every menstruating lady should get themselves a starter pack - you get a free couple of goodie things and a thank you note from the owner too. I can’t tell you what a difference these thank you notes have made – people selling products that they actually care about, that come with heart energy, a revelation after the ego events this week!

So while I’ve been a little despondent this week, it has spurred me into action and I’m pleased I’ve finally made some progress to reduce my reliance on plastic - plus there have been many other positives like that drugs case. It seems I’m not alone this week though in becoming increasingly aware of how badly we are treating this planet. I almost laughed out loud therefore when I read the astronomical reading for this week in my moon diary (written at least a year ago);

”The innovative and revolutionary T-square continues to hold between Taurean Uranus, Mars, still in the earliest degrees of humanitarian Aquarius and Venus, now in Scorpio and is guaranteed to bring the shocks and uncertainty that raise adrenalin levels. Evoked by deep-seated anger from the collective, a new awareness is awakening – of the limits of existing attitudes to acquisition, growth and natural resources.”

So it seems it’s in the field and change is afoot.  

Change is afoot in other (and yet related) ways, because the cycle of the wheel is turning and yesterday was the autumnal equinox, when the night time becomes equal to the length of the day time and the sunrise and sunset align exactly east and west. The final fruit harvest time is upon us and root vegetables are now plentiful – it’s time to prepare for the hard winter times ahead.

Some call this the festival of Mabon in honour of the God of Light, son of Modron, for others it is Alben Elfed “the light of water”. The God of Lights is defeated by his twin and alter ego, the God of Darkness, and many stories talk of the gods and goddesses returning to the underworld.

It’s a time of shifting as we too shift to find our new balance. You might feel therefore totally out of balance, and a little all over the place as some of the older ways of being drop away and the new has yet to come in. These periods of transition can be tricky and this is the reason I’m always keen that we’re aware of transitioning in yoga – how we move from one place to the next? This is the reason I love to flow (consciously), not simply focusing on the beginning and the end, but on that place in the middle too, the link.

The transition is a practice in its own right because how we transition on our yoga mats might give us an insight into how we transition in our lives. Can we retain our balance when everything around us is in flux? Can we hold true to ourselves when everyone else is doing something different? Can we stay centred as everything falls apart to be rebuilt again in a way that might be better aligned?  Can we resist the fear and maintain a solid base, rooted and trusting (always a challenge when fear kicks in!).

It seems to me that this truly is a time for letting go of all that’s been and trusting that we end up where we now need to be, re-aligning and re-adjusting to a new way of being, of both endings and new beginnings. This is also a time of purples and greens (think blackberries and hedgerows), and trusting in the intuition and the heart, as we get truly to the heart of things.

I really hope that this seasonal shift creates a shift in how we’re living and that we start being a little kinder and compassionate to ourselves and to each other and that we start taking better care of this beautiful world in which we live – we’re lucky to be able to call it home.  

Happy equinox!