Going with the new moon flow

That was a potent new moon for me and Rebekah Shaman was spot on when she said it was all about going with the flow (see her reading here https://mailchi.mp/rebekahshaman.com/newmoondec011218-875949?e=eae0fe6be6).

When I initially read it, a few days before the new moon, I kind of thought, “yer, yer, this whole going with the flow is such a cliché”, but now, a day after the new moon and after a 48 hour healing crisis on the back of a Jo treatment, I totally know it to be true.

 I’ve been resisting a number of things recently and especially Elijah starting school.  We had a traumatic pre-school experience when he was two and half and I’ve been fretting about school ever since. In fairness that experience was a lesson in itself, in not istening to anyone else about what to do with your child – while everyone may have told us we should put him in pre-school to socialise him, he wasn’t ready and the pre-school managed the situation badly.  Lesson learned- never listen to anyone else about how best to parent your child.

So I’ve been resisting school, and the change that this brings.  Admittedly I do have my concerns about the school “system” but that is beyond the scope of this blog.  More so the point here is that in worrying about school, I was getting myself rather worked up and focusing on the negatives rather than trying to see any positives (beyond the fact I know the head teacher, deputy head and head of reception very well, what a gift!).

It didn’t help – although of course it did – that the new moon energy was ramping up the energy of not knowing and of going with the flow regardless – lesson is of course to trust. I became very aware of the uncomfortable nature of not knowing, of being in doubt, of sitting with ambiguity.  It’s horrible!  Much more comfortable to have certainty, to plan and to know.   

In my role as a company secretary, I do a lot of planning, often years ahead to know when meetings will be held.  In yoga too, I’m often planning retreats years in advance, plus workshops and even classes. This doesn’t leave a lot of room for going with the flow, or just doing what you feel in the moment. It also means that you get used to things being fairly certain (as much as anything is ever certain). 

So sitting with uncertainty is tricky. Well at least it is if you want things to be black and white. But life is never ever black and white. There is always grey. So being with the grey can be challenging.  It involves trusting. Trusting that everything will unfold in the way that it is meant to.  That if something doesn’t feel right, and yet doesn’t feel wrong, that you just need to stay with it, be patient, and wait until you have a feeling/clarity about what is right, Then you ‘know’ and then you can act without doubt or questioning, however crazy your decision might be to someone else) I can certainly relate to this!).

I struggled my way through the new moon with my fixed mind thinking it knew what needed to happen to provide certainty, but without truly knowing, so I ended up feeling pretty anxious about that (anxiety was definitely in the field) and being pretty challenged by this going with the flow thing. This was not helped by a healing crisis and old energy coming up, cue monetary depression, not me, I wasn’t depressed but just fighting inside myself, between what I thought and reality and the sense of hopelessness that comes with this, the “I can’t be bothered” attitude and just when you feel deserted by all your friends (as they too go through their own moon thing!).

So we always come through the other side, the light always follows the brief darkness, as if you need to see one to recognise the other. Elijah enjoyed his first day at school (long may it last), the school drop off and pick up wasn’t so bad, the sun shone, Eben and I got onto the cliffs, life carried on, the sea manged a super low tide and a super high tide, it did it’s thing, went with the flow.  Amazing! Imagine if the sea resisted its flow, what a mess that would be!

I had to laugh though because here I was exhausting all this energy questioning the flow of things, and there was E just living each day as if it is his first and last. It’s annoying he has the ability to do this without a second of mediation or yoga or inner searching.  Just compartmentalising and being present. Still, all our souls are on different journeys…always learning something…just got to trust in it.

So we’re off to Glastonbury this weekend, I’m not planning, honest, just going to go with the flow and see where that amazing Glastonbury energy takes me! Hoorah for going with the flow…and sitting with ambiguity!

x

Full moon eclipse!

That was a pretty intense moon cycle and I was pleased when the weather changed with the eclipse and ushered in the wind to blow away the stagnant energy.  Phew!

I didn’t actually get to see the eclipse.  Elijah had stayed up intentionally to see it with me, but when we went outside to look at the moon and try and see the local owl and the bats, it was cloudy, so I kind of just gave up and drank some champagne instead! I’m grateful then that Steph Bisson (who is my most amazingly gifted friend) took this photo of the moon, incredible!

We did however do our first family own ritual.  Ordinarily if the mood (or moon!) takes me, then I do this on my own.  But last night, I just felt it was time to involve the family, as this is where this recent moon cycle has encouraged more – more firmly centred with my family.

The full moon is a really good time to forgive and let go, so I wrote down a list of things that I wanted to forgive and let go, earlier in the day after my practice. Ewan lit a fire and I cleansed us all with salt and moon resin (oh how we laughed at the craziness of Mummy), then setting up an altar and doing my thing, before burning the note shortly after the moon peaked. 

What I loved the most about all this was Elijah who went and got his things to put on the altar.  It was incredibly sweet and made me feel very warm on the inside!

We managed to complete the ritual without anyone burning themselves, shrieking, or crying.  It was quite amazing because it has been one of those weeks – I have moon boys and they become rather excitable, Eben especially, around the full moon.

Mind you this whole moon cycle has been a touch testing, but also absolutely necessary.

Around the time of the last new moon I had this strong sense that we needed to cut the cr@p and stop messing around with this whole spirituality malarkey. This became increasingly clear to me over the two weeks, and I feel now that I can articulate this a bit better!

I have a feeling that this “light and love” spiritual approach is not doing us any favours. I mean I’m all up for the love and the light, but I think we easily hide behind it and in the process deny and repress our darkness into the shadows. What we deny on the inside will show up on the outside.  So the more we focus solely on the light, the more the darkness will show up in the world to try and get our attention.

We need to genuinely do the work to reclaim the shadow.  No more spiritual bypassing.  No more denial and pretence about who we are. We need to do what needs to be done to love and accept all aspects of ourselves, including the demon (in the shadows). We need to truly recognise that we are not our thoughts and that this duality does no one any favours.

We are pure being at heart and we need to do what we can to keep connecting with this and let all the other stuff drop away.

It sounds so easy but heck it’s really very tough. Much easier to focus on the light and love with all its hearts and loveliness and wonderful Instagram pictures and spiritual materialism and bypass the real work.

But nope, that isn’t going to cut it anymore. I’m not sure yoga with its commercialism and false advertising around the whole “peaceful, slim, dressed in lululemon, eating healthy gluten, wheat, diary and refined sugar free snacks, drinking freshly squeezed juice, floating on her lotus” yogini is going to cut it anymore either. It shouldn’t have cut it in the first place because it isn’t real!

I went for a Reiki treatment recently and the very lovely lady was surprised to hear that I was stressed. Stress and yoga teacher are not too words you expect to hear together.  But really us yoga teachers are masters of stress, and depression and anxiety and all those sorts of things because it was these conditions that brought us to yoga in the first place. I know how to ease other people’s stress through yoga, because I have first hand experience!

It’s like one of my friends said when I was talking to her about this, “but you yoga teachers are all nutty!”  She’s right because all of us are a bit nutty, but we spend our lives trying to pretend otherwise.

Embrace the nuttiness I say. Learn to love it and keep it real. Maybe then the world will be a more peaceful and happier place as we won’t be working so hard to repress the supposed bad stuff.

So that’s where I’m at. That’s what I’m working on. But there’s more because it was an eclipse, which means that change is very much in the air and will need now to settle…and we will all no doubt have our journeys to follow with that one to bring greater meaning and better alignment into our lives...of course the old will also need to drop away...so love your family, do the work and be at ease within yourself. And get on with doing what you've put off doing if it keeps calling.

Love and light and nuttiness!   

Growing on the moon!

We just returned home from the Loire in France to find that the greenhouse has exploded into magnificent abundance.  Wow!

I decided this year that I would have a go at planting from seed in accordance with the moon cycle.  This works on the age-old belief that phases of the moon affect plant growth and thus the time that you plant the seed will have a bearing on the fruits (or vegetables!) from said seed.

I have to be honest, it wasn't easy.  Eben at 18 months was a liability in the greenhouse and the planting was a little rushed to say the least, and a busy spell meant that my parents did most of the initially watering and tending.  Still, I managed to plant out most of the developing seedlings following Mum's instructions (this following my botched effort while they were in Australia and only to kill the beans with over watering - note to self, beans do not like too much water!).

So I'm pretty pleased to return from our holiday and find that the broccoli in particular has done very well, not a caterpillar in sight, and the stem and the head are strong and vibrant. I haven't tasted them yet, but I have three huge broccoli head's now sat in my fridge as I was keen to harvest before the flower petals appear, so it looks like we'll be eating broccoli all week.  Not a problem for me as it's my favourite vegetable and I am stillllllllll obsessed by turmeric curry and especially with broccoli in it.

I'm impressed with the chard too and the sweetcorn looks like it may soon be ready to harvest, but I know very little about this and await Mum's further insight and instructions.

The peas are in full flow and shall be a welcome addition to the curry with the chard too. I'm looking forward to the beans and courgettes catching up. Perfect Turmeric vegetarian curry coming up!

The fruit trees in the greenhouse are so heavy with fruit that some of the branches have dropped down to the ground with the weight. So I expect a bountiful harvest of mirabelles, greengage, plums and even nectarines.  The fig tree has gone crazy, I've never seen so many figs on it, so I guess we'll be able to sell some of these too.  I'll keep you posted as this is yummy home grown (without chemicals) fruit, tastes so much better than the stuff in the shops...

So I guess perhaps there is something in this moon-growing malarkey, another reason to bow down with humble gratitude to the wonderful moon and all her offerings!

x

The Aries New Moon and the Joy of Teaching Yoga (and giggling sitting bones!)

It's been a funny few days energetically as we transition to the new moon in Aries.  I've had this sensation going on in my solar plexus and a whirring almost in my sacral chakra.  The combination has felt a little bit like low level morning sickness, which in itself was unnerving!

There was also some anxious energy, without having anything to feel anxious about, just unsettling, perhaps a little ungrounding, and this overwhelming sense that life has to change, and that a big shift is about to come in.

I've sat with it and read about it, and conclude that there's lots going on up there, and down here (because of what's going on up there) and we're going through a process of realignment - as if (for me certainly) the solar plexus and sacral chakras are having a bit of a clean out so we can step more fully into our power and be the creative beings that we are, re-creating a new and lighter world for ourselves and humanity.

It was a coincidence, but not, because there is no such thing as a coincidence, that I was scheduled to go into the The Ladies College today, to help give the Lower Sixth some tools they may use to ease any feelings of anxiety, overwhelm and stress. So I had a sense of what might help, based on how I was feeling with the current moon energy heightening all of this.

I don't normally teach in schools anymore, and I was quickly reminded of the reason for this as it can be quite hard work, what with all the giggling and chattering.  The mere mention of "sitting bone" is enough to set them off, let alone "let go" and "soften". So imagine what happened when I mentioned the new moon and menstrual cycles and how the two are often linked.  Even I almost laughed out loud at the cacophony of giggling! I'd forgotten how taboo a subject menstruation still is, sigh.

I had planned the class and started out with what I thought may help, but I quickly realised that they needed a different approach.  Cat/cow may well be a lovely gentle movement to awaken the spine, but the mere thought of lifting the dreaded sitting bones with other girls behind them in rows, was enough to set them off into uncontrollable giggles of embarrassment again, so I realised that there was only one thing for it: standing balancing poses. This worked a treat.  Not only grounding and centering, but it is very difficult to think (or giggle) when one is trying to balance! I've never taught a first class with standing balancing poses being the main focus, but it did seem to work in calming the energy (a very useful insight as it happens!).

They responded very well to the chakra balancing guided mediation too, the use of colours is really marvellous for all age groups.  We were talking about this during the introduction to crystal course that I ran with my cousin, Yolande, on Saturday.  We got to do some colouring and everyone calmed with this, and noticing the colours of crystals we were drawn to was very revealing.  We used chakra crystals during a chakra balancing relaxation, and one day it would be lovely to share this with lower sixth form girls, but that would have been far too much to take in today, I can't even image the reaction that would have created!

They did so well though because it was new for so many of them, and it's not easy dropping the awareness into the body and noticing what's going on. It made me feel relieved not to be that age actually, and all the stress that it brings with it. I felt heartened by the manner in which they all settled into the relaxation and I was reminded how marvellous to have access to this thing called yoga!

Tonight further reminded me as it was the final class for two of the teenagers who started yoga for their Duke of Edinburgh bronze award.  They've been with me for three months now and have progressed amazingly during that time.  Not only are they much more confident in their practice, but their awareness has shifted too, and they are stronger in body and mind and so much more focused than when they began. It's been a real privilege to have them both in class, and I'm told they'd like to continue, which will be brilliant, as I will miss them otherwise!

I have to say I feel extremely blessed tonight to have yoga in my life. I am very grateful for the fact yoga is by far my deepest love and passion in life (other than the boys, obviously) and that I get to share this gift with others of all ages too (there were four 8-10 year old girls in class yesterday morning with their Mums, what a delight!).

I am at my most happiest when I am teaching yoga, because I am not aware of anything other than the moment and the students, and  trying to read the energy in the room (and out there in the ether) and facilitate what needs to awaken and what needs to calm down. It's a joy like no other and I'm so thankful to the Universe for bringing all so many marvellous students into my life and for providing me with the opportunities to share yoga where I can and do my bit to spread the love and light out into the world.  Thank you x

Changing the mind!

It has to be said that that was a very tricky moon cycle, between swimming in the pool under the light of the-almost-peaking full moon on Friday 3 November 2017 in Goa, and the full moon that I celebrated in the dark and cold here in Guernsey on Saturday 2 December 2017. 

The wheels fell off for a time. We invited Shiva into our lives in Goa so I shouldn't have been surprised. India alone will bring you to your knees, but Shiva, well he's something else.  I knew there was a reason I needed to invest in a little statue of Ganesha, remover of obstacles, before I left Goa. He's been a central part of my Altar this last month!

Things need to fall apart so that we can grow, at least spiritually, but it's a tough process to go through.  I questioned every aspect of my life wondering what needed to change, what I no longer needed and what had to stay.  Of course I knew deep down that it wasn't about changing the external, but I was trying to maintain some control...the ego likes control. It makes us feel safe.

But I wasn't feeling so safe and with my right ear deaf for a good month, I've had to be honest about what I'm not listening to. Ah yes.

The healing came as it does.  The anger, the fury, the tears, the everything that we need to go through to reach our bottom where we finally surrender and let go.

That's where the magic lies. In the letting go. Because only then does grace enter in and all is revealed, as if emerging from the fog.  I felt foggy that's for sure, being partially deaf does that to you, and blocked sinuses that make it difficult to think clearly, and the extreme tiredness post long haul travel with children who take time to adjust to the time difference and a partner who's sick from the flight. 

It's not easy feeling so raw and vulnerable and wondering where it all went so wrong. Of course it never did go wrong, it's just about perception and realising that it's time to transition from one way of being to another.  The dream has shifted - it's no longer just my dream, my life, now part of  family, and with that priorities change.

Essentially the mind changes.  That's where the pain comes in. Changing my mind. Becoming more aligned. There's a poetic rhyme to it. And it is poetry really, the rawness of it.

I read probably one of the most poetic books I've read in a long time, "When breath becomes air" by Paul Kalanithi, which is nothing short of genius. An amazing book and an inspired mind and heart, that man. This lead me to read Henry Marsh's "Do no Harm".  There was a theme here, brain surgery, death and meaning in life.

It's been a heavy month! But I've learned more about the brain, about the mind, about faith and spirit and the ego and about the manner in which life unfolds, how it changes. 

I've recognised that it was my mind that needed to change, not the external of my life, but the internal tapestry that gives rise to a change on the outside. There was no effort required either, it was just about going through the process. Being present. Sitting with the pain (of change) and listening to the body as it communicated it's needs.    

The mind resides everywhere, not just in the brain. It fascinates me. My mind. Everyone's minds. Changing minds.  It's all there.

We make changes on the inside, often having to do a complete turn-around in how we believed things to be, so that we see things completely differently - the pre-school I didn't think I liked, becomes the place that actually I really love, the place I didn't ant to visit on holiday becomes the very place I now long to go, then person I didn't initially like on meeting is now my close friend.  

Everything I resist persists and becomes an integral part of my life.  So there's something to look out for. Resistance. It's often the very thing we need.

So once the mind changes, the inner world changes, then the outer world changes too. Not hugely necessarily, it all looks the same but it feels very different, more aligned, heartfelt and joyful.  It feels right somehow. 

It was a joy therefore to teach the waning moon and for everything to settle.  Shiva worked his magic, destroyed so that life could be re-created. I'm just grateful for the practice, for the mat beneath me, that space, for the breath and the Yoga Nidra and for the light of the candle reminding me to keep heading towards the light, the heart the truth.

Changing minds is never easy but it's essential too.

With love and gratitude. 

x

Happy Full Moon!

I managed a beautiful sea swim this evening with the full moon in Aries rising in front of us, we saw without our clothes too, it was very naughty and thoroughly liberating!

I was feeling the full moon rage yesterday and felt drawn to paint.  Today dawned blissfully calm as if the full moon had already peaked.  It's calm tonight too, crystals in the garden!

Enjoy the ride, the energy is very heightened on a full moon and it's an ideal time to forgive and acknowledge with gratitude all the wonderful things you might have in your life...creating spaces and higher vibration for new moon manifesting in two weeks time.

Happy new moon!

x

Wild yogini and the moon

I started bleeding this week. It was such a relief.  I’ve had 20 months without bleeding, well not with menstrual bleeding, what with pregnancy and then the post-natal period.

The pregnancy was fine, it’s pregnancy after all and brings with it its own rhythm.  But the post-natal period is a tough one.  I was bleeding for the first six weeks after the birth and then I was so exhausted that it was a relief not to have to factor in the exhaustion that can accompany the menstrual cycle too.

However, by six months I was ready to get back into the menstrual groove again and while I could feel rumblings, I felt a little rudderless, without my menstrual navigational system kicking in.

So I welcomed the blood that appeared two days before the Pisces full moon and I was excited about the timing. That’s not bad is it, to be two days short of the full moon when you haven’t bled for almost two years? I was certainly delighted.

It was a joy to crouch down and bleed directly onto the Earth again in the light of the full moon in all her glory. I was smiling from ear to ear, it was like I’d properly come home again, and then I did a little dance in the garden.

You might ask yourself what E was doing when the menstrual moon shenanigans were taking place? Watching TV of course, he’s a good one that one, knows what’s going on but chooses to overlook the detail!

Not that there was much ignoring it the next morning when I went skinny dipping at Petit Bot. I’m a wild yogini at heart and what better way to truly get wild then to swim at high tide, without clothes, in the early morning light and bleeding too. I felt properly cleansed by the sea and the moon.

It was good too as my vampire boy at ten months has puncture wounded both my nipples with his sharp teeth and relentless night time feeding so the salt water helped with this healing too.

Now if you’re reading this and getting a little bit judgemental then take that as a sign that perhaps you’re meant to be getting into your menstrual moon and naked sea swimming grove too.  Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

I wish more women would get up close and personal about their menstrual cycles.  There’s nothing dirty about it.  Quite the opposite.  It’s incredibly empowering and enlightening to track your cycle and embrace your bleeding days with whatever helps to connect you deeper to the earth and your womb wisdom.

I’ve written about it before – have a look here if you would like to read more - http://www.beinspiredby.co.uk/blog/2016/9/19/moon-cycles-and-lady-cycles-welcoming-womb-wisdom

I appreciate also that sometimes the arrival of the blood is not something to be celebrated because it means another month without getting pregnant.  I hear you, I’ve been there myself. But actually if you are struggling to get pregnant, then getting up close and personal with your menstrual cycle should be paramount.  Greet it and meet it, it’ll have a message for you.

So that’s me shared, wearing something red, and chilling out on my yoga mat.  I’m hoping to record a yoga video for menstruation soon, because it really changes how I feel to move my body on my mat (not so much but a little) and I’m keen to share this with others as it really supports me during this period (quite literally!).

I also love to prop myself for a yoga nidra, and raise my legs up on the bed.  I also love to sit and watch my breath and see what arises from my womb space.  It’s insightful I can tell you.

So whether you’re a wild yogini moon lady or not, I hope you’re enjoying the waning moon energy, and get to check in to the energy of your cycle too.

Ramblings on the energy shifting going on out there

The energy shifted about lunchtime today and has continued to ease all afternoon and into the evening.  I can't tell you the relief.

It's been pretty intense out there since the lunar eclipse and full moon back on Monday 7 August, encouraging us to let go and heal.

The Lionsgate Portal was activated on Tuesday 8 August 2017. This happens when the Sun aligns with the Star, Sirius, which is bigger and brighter than our own sun. It's known as the spiritual sun and is understood to hold knowledge and wisdom from higher vibratory realms.

When the Sun and Sirius are aligned, their energies intensify and Mother Earth receives "light energy" from both of these celestial entities - greater consciousness comes in and this affects our own energy. Essentially two of the greatest lights in the sky have shone on us - hoorah for the healing this potentially provides,

The trouble is, life thereafter may not resonate in the same way.  We've been turned up a notch and the old stuff on the lower vibration that is no longer serving us needs to drop away - or at least it becomes increasingly difficult to ignore the call for change. 

It's been tough. Like you, I've been encouraged to question every aspect of my life and its truth - is it aligned?  In some cases no, and those have had to go, are going, will go. 

The eclipses bring light to the shadows.  It's challenging seeing the shadows come to light. Did I really create my own reality?  Must I really take responsibility for this?  Well yes, it is time.  It's time to drop the victim/martyr role and to take responsibility for how your life unfolds.  All of it. There isn't a place for the blame game if we want to heal the present and indeed the future. 

It's tricky to get your head around but really the future creates the present.  So be clear when you are envisioning this. You can change the past, that's easy, not least with Reiki, but by changing your mind about a few things. It's magic really.

Then there was the solar eclipse and new moon on Monday 21st August, the second new moon in Leo too. This brought in big shifting energy for so many of us who have been left exhausted and wondering what is going on.

Bits of the old have come up again. Uncomfortable edgy energy.  I had a day of acute anxiety from year's ago now, which caught me in my tracks and I sat with it rather than trying to numb it as I may have done previously.  There was nothing to fear, it was just energy, and an "anxiety relief" yoga practice grounding to the Earth was all that was needed.  Well that and some Nadi Shodhana pranayama.

There's been a huge amount of sadness too, and I could feel my heart space tight and heavy. I've cried a lot. The tears just come from nowhere at times. It didn't help that my cat died and my brother returned to Australia; but in many respects they both gifted healing in their respective departures, one to higher realms, the other to the other side of this world.

There are five planets going retrograde during August too.  Going retrograde means that the planet looks like it is going backwards, only its not, it just appears to do so because of the relative positions of the planet and Earth and how they're moving around the sun.

Mercury retrograde is definitely the one I'm feeling.  It complicates communication, or at least can make communication tricky, especially in families.  Furthermore it affects electrical devices (both TV and printer have been playing up) and can make it difficult to move things forward.  It's a shaky time and not one within which to make big decisions or sign contracts.

I've not been able to make any big decisions because I've had no clarity about anything (other than cancelling the Women's Wellness Weekend on Herm as I wasn't feeling it and nor were others). Ive not had any clarity because the eclipses have pulled up my roots so that I can weed them a bit.

It's difficult to have clarity when one is uprooted. However today I felt the shift and the tears have dried. I'm aware that it's now time to re-root those roots that need re-rooting again and let the others go on the compost pile. The clarity is beginning to come through again.  It really is very simple. We need to simplify.  Not just me, but you too.  We all need to start simplifying and remembering our truth.  The Universe is reminding us to slow down and to be patient.

We're all receiving energy updates and upgrades and the Universe it reminding us to slow down and be patient.  I'd wait until Mercury is no longer retrograde (5th September) and the celestial terrain calms a bit before making any leaps. 

I can't tell you the relief it is to know this now.  There have been times this last month when I've been questioning my own mind - I'm not going mad after all, these feelings are valid and real! And the chances are that if you;re reading these words then you're feeling it too.

Good. The world needs lighter people.  But commit.  Don't go "urrmmm arrrrrr", "do I, don't I".  Just commit to whatever is needed to take greater responsibility for your reality and also for the state of this planet.  It means dropping in, even if it gets messy.  Do the inner work, that's the key.  No one else can do it for you and talking about it won't make the change either. 

So look within, breathe in and out, trust, and notice the support from the Universe coming in. 

With love xxx