The reality of online learning and the inner child!

We popped to the beach first thing this morning for a swim at Saints because I felt that I needed the energy of the sea and the sun, and some grounding as the beginning of online learning loomed ahead.

Back home and we used Face-time to connect with my Dad who has very kindly volunteered to help with Elijah’s online learning, and bless him, spent 2 hours yesterday trying to navigate the online portal so we might be prepared for the beginning of Elijah’s official online learning.

Admittedly this probably wasn’t the best time for E to go off shopping but he figured the queues might be easier than usual, so he left me at home with both boys, as will become the norm when he returns to work soon (hopefully for him as a sole trading gardener). The idea was that my Dad would oversee Elijah’s work and I might manage my wild child, who needs lots of attention, especially at the moment as he’s still angry that he can’t see my parents or play with his friends at pre-school.

However, it quickly became apparent that I needed to be involved for the majority of the session with Elijah too. Not least because we needed to use my laptop to access all the online links that were provided through the online learning website, but also because Elijah is only 6 years old and isn’t yet able to write or read without some assistance - and certainly wouldn't have accessed the links on his own or read what he needed to do.

Five minutes in and by then Eben had dressed himself as a fireman and was whacking the walls with his sword. I suggested we might do a jigsaw at the table, and sent him off to retrieve one, but he returned with Pop-up Pirates and as anticipated, this game lasted all of about 2 minutes before he started attacking the pirate with his sword. He wandered off and I turned back to Elijah who needed the next video accessed.

Distracted by assisting Elijah, I just about heard the front door open maybe 5 minutes later, and wondered if it might be the postman, but a minute or so later when I realised it wasn’t the postman and Eben hadn’t re-appeared, I realised it must have been Eben who had gone out the front door unaided. Minor panic ensued as I rushed outside and through the gate to our parking area but couldn’t see him. I ran back in the house and there he was in the back garden, he must have walked around to the back of the cottage all on his own. That was a first. And a last!

My stress levels were now rapidly rising. I retrieved Eben from the back garden and wondered what on earth I might do with him, painting didn't seem the best option, so Dad suggested he join us to watch the Gruffalo on my laptop, Elijah’s next task. So he sat on me for all of a minute, more interested in tapping the keys on my laptop, than watching the video, which always panics me as I wonder if he might find the one button to press that may mean I can never work my laptop again!

So off he went, still wearing his shoes (we’re a shoe-free house and he’d sensibly put these on before letting himself out the front door), to try to find something else to do. Fortunately E arrived home soon after then although I suspect he wished he hadn’t, because the noise of him unpacking the shopping and boiling the kettle, and the noise of Eben firing his pretend gun at us was all too much for Elijah who was constantly distracted, which caused my Dad to suggest that perhaps we should give-up on the rest of the online learning for today. “No!”, I virtually shrieked, “we have to submit work!”.

At this point E found Eben attempting to comb the cat’s fur with his comb, so he proposed that he might take Eben outside and entertain him, while we carried on with the online-learning. So with such relief from me, off they went and I set about trying to sort the account for Elijah on the Class dojo system, but because I was having to use both my phone and my laptop, the WIFI struggled and we lost connection with my Dad! Blinking WIFI!

Fortunately I did manage to get the dojo to work, which is just as well because if not I might literally have hit my head against the table or used Eben’s pretend gun to shoot myself with the despair of it all! Elijah’s long suffering teacher will no doubt be as delighted as me, bless her, she tried to send me a number of links in the hope that one of them might work, and thankfully one of them did, so thank you Karen because I bet you were inundated with other parents unable to work this and that link too!

With WIFI working again and the connection with my Dad re-established, I was finally able to make a cup of tea as Elijah read to him, before I took over with the writing. Once that was done - and it took some effort I can tell you, Elijah is not really interested in this home-learning malarkey, he’d rather be playing (don’t blame him) - I managed to photograph his work and upload it to the class dojo. If I hadn’t have decided that 2020 would be a good year to give sobriety a try, I might have poured myself a very large glass of wine and been done with the day then and there!

Instead, I prepared lunch and tried to catch up on the emails that had come in this morning, including one about increasing my public liability insurance so I might be able to teach yoga at Sausmarez Park this summer. I add that in, to give hope to the fact we might, at some point, before the end of August, join together outside for some yoga without a single device in sight (no mobiles allowed!).

Lunch prepared and E and Eben now back in the cottage, I escaped upstairs and to my mat, where I promptly burst into tears with the stress of it all- and this, I know, ironic given that I’m a yoga teacher! But in that moment I felt like the most useless mother in the world, not least because I’m forcing Elijah to do something he doesn’t want to do and has no interest in doing, but because I’m basically having to ignore my 3-year old to the extent that he leaves the house and wanders off on his own, because I am distracted trying to do the requested online learning set by the powers that be. Nonsense.

I suddenly realised, I as I attempted to move my body and focus on my breath that this whole online-learning debacle has massively triggered inner child stuff, much like the IT issues I have had over the weekend. Just as I would have felt in childhood at some point, both the online learning and IT have brought up a very old pattern of feeling unsafe, powerless and useless. It was a relief to recognise this pattern and to see it for what it is. To know that at some point in the past when those feelings came up I would have reacted by getting stressed, angry and emotional, anything to avoid the uncomfortableness of the initial feelings.

Here we are again…those old feelings of loss of safety (overwhelm), powerfulness and useless have been triggered and I end up getting stressed and angry and emotional. That pattern hasn’t been triggered for a long time, not really, at least not with this intensity. Which is what got me thinking that this is part of a bigger picture, this inner child stuff. I’ve felt it the last few days and it now makes sense to me, and I can’t help thinking that the new moon on Thursday has something to do with this.

The intensity of the combination of lock-down, online learning, Coronavirus, being at home 22 out of 24 hours a day, temperamental WIFI and attempting to teach online, is definitely going to trigger something! And because I’m being triggered, and I’m part of the collective, i suspect that everyone is being triggered in their own way and is experiencing some inner child stuff coming up for them right now.

You’ll know it, because it’ll be a pattern, a certain way that you behave, a certain feeling or feelings that come up when you are feeling really tested and totally out of your comfort zone, when you are feeling vulnerable as you would have done as a child, when it felt as if your world was changing and you had no control over it. You would have reacted a certain way and since then, every time those same emotions of vulnerability and being out of control are triggered, you’ll react in this same way that is rarely helpful, because it is unconscious, it happens without you noticing the role you play in it.

This is the inner child, the part of ourselves that we stashed away because it was too painful to feel the feelings that the child in us was feeling at that time. Yet those feelings are still there and from time to time they will be triggered and we will have the opportunity to see them for what they are, to recognise that it is just our inner child crying out to be held and loved, before we react in a way that we learned to do back then and have been doing ever since, but that just harms us and separates us even more from the inner child, perpetuating the cycle.

Catching myself as I did, and seeing the truth of the situation, I decided then and there that I was done. It is time now - as it is for all of us - to hold my little inner child in my hands as if she is as precious as my own children, and look after her with tolerance, compassion, forgiveness and love. No more will I give her a hard time and respond to her with anger and frustration at that which I can not control. No more will I try and fit Elijah and I into a system that doesn’t work for us, in which we don’t fit right now.

Enough. We will do what we can, Elijah, Dad and I, accessing the online resource when it works for us, but we’re not going to lose sleep over it, or get upset about it, or force Elijah to do stuff that he doesn’t want to do for the sake of his ‘education’. The whole education system needs a shake-up anyhow, but not this way, and not now. I will no longer put Elijah’s ‘education’ above the needs of Eben either. That too is nonsense.

This whole period of my boys life is tricky as it is, cut off from their beloved grandparents and their friends and the wider community, their routine is out the window and they’re missing playing at the park and going swimming, all the usual things that children loved doing. It’s not fair for them having to endure stressed parents who are trying to do their best, but are finding it a bit tricky to manage all that is expected of them by the Education Department, while trying to hold down jobs, go shopping while social distancing, and maintain sanity!

So this afternoon we did the other thing that the inner child needs and that is have fun. We borrowed a dog and we took her to L’Eree where we threw the ball for her and we walked and we laughed and we played. The boys removed their clothes and ran up and down the beach nude, we collected litter and crab shells, we chatted at distance with some friends who happened to be walking past, and we had a jolly good time as a family together.

This is what my children need right now. They need me playing and having fun. They need to be out in nature where they can connect with the elements. They need to be free to explore their world and learn from it. They need to be held as gently as I am now holding my own inner child, showered with compassion and love, not ignored in the quest for education, or forced ‘to do learning’ in a way that is alien to them.

We even popped into the fairy cave, because I longed to feel that ancient energy and to call upon the guardians for strength and protection, to usher more of their wisdom into this world, because if ever we needed it then now is that time. It is extremely calming in the cave, and was definitely a tonic for the soul, and for the inner child, ahead of the new moon.

It’s been a tricky moon cycle that’s for sure, but I’m grateful for the insight that today brought with it, to notice the triggers and the underlying feeling, and to rise above it and find another way to be with it that is not angry or frustrated or negative but is loving and kind and gentle. We are all doing our best. We must remember this. And when something isn’t working, rather than battle against it, it’s a sign to turn the devices off, to get outside and to have fun together, changing the memory into something positive and worth remembering.

Happy new moon you lovely people.

Sending you a huge energy ball filled with Reiki, love and compassion.

Love Emma xx

Online overwhelm and weariness!

I don’t know about anyone else, but I am so weary of being online. Yesterday our internet connection was appalling, and was dropping in and out. 

I was meant to be teaching a Zoom class as part of a virtual retreat, but was unable to access Zoom initially as the WIFI kept going. Then once I was on, there was an issue with the invite, so I set up a new meeting and quickly drafted an email to send out to all the retreat participants, only to find that my email wasn’t working, a combination of the WIFI and a mailbox issue.

My phone has run out of a data, so I was incapable of using that without the WIFI and I realised that I didn’t even have the organiser’s phone number. I had a look in the local phone book but it wasn’t there either. I realised in that moment that I was completely stuck. There was nothing I could do! Or was there…of course, call my parents. But what could they do? Well their phone was engaged so I never got to find out!

Instead I got really frustrated, angry and upset. The whole experience triggered an overwhelming sense of helplessness…the same overwhelming sense of helplessness that IT has a habit of making me feel when it doesn’t work! I should know by now however that this happens from time to time – IT not seemingly working – and that I should learn the lesson from it that it is trying to teach me; rather than get angry and upset, just notice the uncomfortableness of the underlying feeling of helplessness (and uselessness too) and change the pattern, laugh instead, but we live and learn!

It made me think though that it is crazy how much of our lives are now lived online. Even I’m doing it, teaching yoga online in real time, not least to maintain connection with others, but to be able to share yoga at this tricky time. I did wonder yesterday though, if the universe was trying to prompt me offline and I questioned whether I might stop teaching for now. However today it became very clear that even if I wanted to get offline I can’t, not for now.

This because today the online home learning information was sent out. It was a joyful morning actually, because there wasn’t anything to be online for, I mean I was online first thing catching up on emails at the same time that Elijah was having a Facetime session with my Dad who has kindly volunteered to take on some of the home schooling responsibility (he’s an ex-primary headmaster and loves it). But then we got out. Oh the relief of fresh air and no devices in sight!

 Back home for lunch and the boys were straight to their devices as I prepared the food, and then after lunch, Eben managed to accidentally drop his iPad and smash the screen. I don’t know who was most upset about it, me or him. In many respects it was a blessing because both boys have been on their iPads much more than they should be these last few weeks, and it’s been an ongoing daily battle to get them off the devices and playing instead. 

The trouble is, the devices come in very handy when I need to get things done, and I always need to get things done, because there is always washing to do, and a dishwasher to fill/empty, and meals to be made, and admin to be doing, and all the while they are at home with me. I believe that my specialism subject at the moment could well be Ben and Holly because I have heard every episode at least 3 or 4 times over this last month, if I hear much more about the Little Kingdom then I might well get my own wand out and magic it away!

This is not to say that they don’t play, they do, but the devices have been used much more than they would do ordinarily, since being on lockdown, and that saddens me. It saddens me too that I am spending so much more time online, teaching online expands far more energy than teaching my usual schedule, because of all the additional admin, and I am looking forward to that dropping away when we can all touch each other again! So I suppose because I’m online so much already, I could do without the additional online home learning. 

At 2pm today I was meant to be practising with my yoga teacher but she had to cancel and it is just as well she did as the messages started coming in from school, three videos followed by an extensive message from Elijah’s teacher telling us all about the online learning that’s meant to be taking place the next 5 weeks. I could literally feel the heat rising in my body as my stress levels increased and that sense of overwhelm shot in again – it wasn’t the teacher’s fault by the way, she is absolutely lovely and very helpful and trying to make the whole situation as supported as possible. 

At this point Eben was jumping on me, which did nothing to ease my frustration. He continued to wrap himself around my leg as I tried to leave the room, giggling away, thinking it was extremely funny that I couldn’t move properly and here I was getting increasingly incensed by the fact I couldn’t properly focus on the home-schooling email. E had been holding on the phone for 55 minutes by then, trying to speak to Sure to chase our internet upgrade ordered 4 weeks ago, and had to give up to get the boys out of the house so I could calm down and try to get my head around the school stuff.

[When so much of our lives is moving online, it seems crazy to me that you are expected to hold for 55 minutes and still not get to speak to an operator to try to resolve your internet issues. E was holding for 18 minutes last month, on his mobile, and got charged £18 for the privilege, there’s something very unethical about all this.] 

I started questioning whether I might just take Elijah out of the education system this next 5 weeks. He’s enjoying the one to one sessions with Dad and I, and frankly, I could do without the added stress of attempting to submit work online the next few weeks, plus check in online every day and find out about the day’s activities that he’s meant to do, all this with a 3 year old in the house wanting my every attention, and now no iPad to distract him for even ten minites, ha ha ha ha ha ha. 

I’m just grateful I don’t have multiple school-age children, let alone a 9-5 job to do at the same time as ensuring my child/children is/are completing the various tasks expected of them each day. It’s nonsense and I feel sorry for the teachers having this pressure on them and I feel sorry for all you other parents having to someone manage all this. 

By the time E got back, an hour later, I still hadn’t managed to process everything and I was still no closer to setting Elijah up on the school system so that his work can be submitted online. I did think it was crazy that someone with a degree and a professional qualification can’t even work out the instructions for a school system and how to set their child up on it. I clearly don’t have a brain that works well with IT, I’ll definitely stick to Ben and Holly on any quiz choices in the future!

In all seriousness though, I am grateful to my Dad and my Mum for spending 2 hours reading through it all, so that we have a better idea of what to do tomorrow. I’m just praying that the internet holds up, and that when E goes back to work next week, Eben doesn’t sabotage all our lessons, but let’s see, maybe it would be better if the internet just crashed and then we’d have no choice but to try living offline for a bit, although I’d miss teaching! See, can’t win!

I will be pleased though, when we don’t have to be so dependant on being online. I’ve a feeling my eyes might be happier too, not having to stare at a screen so much. My immune system will be stronger without the stress (has anyone in Education actually thought about the impact of all this online stuff on stress levels and health?!). And my hands will definitely be happier, touching and sharing Reiki, rather than tap tapping! The only way to go is to accept it, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it! Sending much love and good wishes to all you also struggling with this online living!

Curious

I’ve been reflecting these last few days on the emphasis placed on the Coronavirus vaccine as if it might be the miracle to solve all our problems. 

I suppose I’m curious really because I didn’t think we’d had too much success in vaccinating against viruses in the past. No one has yet found a vaccine to counter the common cold, for example, and while there is a flu vaccine, people still die from flu annually. 

I’ve been trying not to think too much about the animals that are currently being tested upon, presumably against their will, in the race to find a vaccine. I have less concern about the human guinea pigs because I presume they have given their permission – goodness knows what other effect they might discover that is not immediately obvious when the draft vaccine is injected directly into the blood stream, bypassing the body’s natural defences, but that’s not for me to concern myself about. 

Well not for now. But it has highlighted to me how we each hold such different views, not simply on vaccinations but on health and the immune system and fear too. My fear of is of negating my body’s own natural healing capacity by injecting directly into my blood, all manner of things which I won’t be informed about (and probably still not, even if I ask) but will likely include metals and animal products, potentially compromising my immune system and making me more at risk of auto-immune disease.

Others will be more fearful of getting sick from a virus because their immune system is not strong enough perhaps, or they are just literally fearful of getting sick, so would rather inject themselves with something that might prevent them from getting sick, at least in the short term, but might have much wider long term effects that will never be known, because the vaccine will not have been tested on anyone for very long so the correlation (if there is one) will be overlooked. 

This is not to begin a debate about the pros and cons of vaccination, or to judge or abuse others. This is more so that the whole subject makes me very curious, in terms of human behaviour and choices, and our relationship to our bodies and our understanding of health and wellbeing, and what we might do, naturally, to strengthen our immune systems.

I suppose it is this that has made me more curious than anything else – curious why there is not more government directive, or any sort of directive now I come to think about it, about how we might promote our own natural immunity at this critical time. That’s the bit that doesn’t make a huge amount of sense to me, given that our health (or the threat to our health) is front line news and has the whole world in lock-down (I always feel that dramatic music needs to be played when the word is mentioned (not because I don’t take it seriously btw, just because the word is so severe!)).

 It is perhaps reflective of the reason that the NHS is struggling. As fantastic as it is, and as amazing as the staff are, it cannot cope with all this sickness. We are not a well society. We are sick. The Coronavirus is highlighting this. I wonder at which point we should, individually and collectively, be therefore taking greater responsibility for our wellness, so that we don’t need to lean so heavily on the NHS and other medical services to help save us.

See that’s the thing, the NHS or other medical services might be able to save us, but they cannot make us well. They might stop us dying, and they might be able to regulate us with drugs and ease some of our suffering, but they cannot actually make us heal. Only we can heal. Our bodies heal from cuts and bumps and bruises, and our body heals from viruses through rest and recuperation and good food, as Boris Johnson is doing now. 

There follows that only we can really do what is necessary to strengthen our own immune systems, and only we can truly affect our overall own health and wellbeing. This of course comes down to a number of factors, not least what we put into our body, and our relationship to our body (are we constantly punishing it with our negative thoughts and our excessive or non-existent exercise regime)  but also the manner in which we are living our lives individually and collectively. 

 I have a sense that this pause, this break from all the rushing that modern life entails, and this opportunity to get outside and exercise and breathe fresh air will be naturally healing us and strengthening our immune systems. However it is possible that juggling children’s’ education with our own work schedule will be compromising this a little with the stress it brings and the coping mechanisms we engage to help us, such as drinking excess wine and eating junk food!

 But heck, it’s not to judge, because we are all doing the best we can in this unusual and yet memorable time in history. And who knows how it will unfold, and what lesson we will learn and whether it will ultimately lead to us becoming a more conscious, healthy and well society and planet. That’s my hope, but only time will tell and until then I shall stay curious and keep questioning my fears and triggers!

Yesterday was not a good day

Yesterday was not a good day.

On the whole I have managed to stay positive about lockdown, but yesterday I longed for silence and space. I have always needed silence and space and this for me was one of the trickiest things about having children - it became increasingly difficult to find silence and apace unless I stayed up half the night…which inevitably left me feeling exhausted and this took a few years to heal when I finally learned!

I found other ways to experience silence and space, going swimming on my own at the pool, sitting in a bath (which I can’t do now due to the flood and the plumber not working on non-emergency things), as if this became a sacred space for mummy, free from disruption, and of course the joy of my parents and Ewan and his Mum taking the children out so I could enjoy pottering in silence on my own for a few hours, bliss!

I love my children but yesterday I just wanted some peace. Eben is especially tricky at the moment, he’s three and he’s angry and frustrated with the new arrangements which means he can’t see my parents and play with Baba. He’s constantly trying to harm the cat, or harm his brother, shouting and screaming if he doesn’t get his own way, I thought my head might burst, no bath or pool to escape to, and even when I manage to get on my mat, he will often come and interrupt, escaping daddy’s watchful gaze (or not so watchful as it turn out!).

So yesterday I was feeling a little aggrieved by lockdown. Yesterday I needed space. Yesterday I longed for a day when I didn’t have to cook for anyone, clean up after anyone, do any washing, be asked a million questions, have to break up a million fights (or so it feels), be constantly jumped on (or so it feels) by Eben and not have anyone talk at me or to me or in any way make a single noise or demand a single thing from me.

Of course I wrestled with this, thinking that one has to be careful for what one wishes and of course I don’t want to wish anything bad on my children, I just wanted a break. That’s all. Just a few hours.

I never really did get that few hours, but I did manage a quick run around the block to release the pent up frustration, and once the children were finally in bed, in that previous hour and a half I get before I then go to bed, I sat on my own and I wrote and I listened to beautiful soulful music, I treated myself to some Athene Sholl raw sapphire earrings from her online shop Etsy (I felt the need for crystals), and I even ate some chocolate. I fed my soul, in the only ways I know how. I then went to bed and read my book.

Today has started differently. After my meditation, I didn’t look at the news and I didn’t try to work alongside the children. I came upstairs, put on the soulful music and worked in peace, without being distracted by Eben constantly jumping on me. I couldn’t have done that without E and I’m grateful he gets it. It’s intense being together as a family with the children 24/7, there’s a reason he’s a solitary gardener, he’s missing the pottering peace too!

Today will be a better day. Today I shall wear rose quartz. Today I shall burn lavender oil. Today I shall listen to more soulful music and chant mantra. I shall pray and commune with the Goddess. Today I have a lesson with my teacher so will connect with my breath and listen in. Today I will make cakes with Eben. Today we will go to the beach to exercise and swim. Today we’ll play in the garden. Today I will connect with my meditation and Reiki group. Today all is well. Today I can look forward to my new earrings arriving. Today I will see my parents on Facetime. All will be OK.

Love Emma x

Health and Disease by Lance and Susan Schuler

This extract was written by Lance Schuler and his wife Susan. Lance taught me how to teach yoga back in 2005 in Byron Bay. It wasn’t just yoga he was teaching me, but helping to re-inforce and validate how I felt about health and healing and yet didn’t have the confidence to voice it back then, or to truly understand it. I know it a lot better now having worked with health and healing since then. I still can’t voice it as well as Lance and Susan however, which is the reason I share their words here for you, for anyone who is interested in living a life free from the fear and from dis-ease, who truly wants to come to know themselves and live in a way that is harmonious with nature and with their own innate wisdom. Lance inspired me then as he inspires me now, and I miss being in that environment where I can be surrounded by those who know and feel the same way. There is so much fear in our beautiful planet at the moment, and so many suffering, and yet to know thyself, you are free, so free. Love Emma x

“HOW OUR UNDERSTANDING OF HEALTH AND DISEASE IS ESSENTIAL TO ACCEPTING AND MOVING FORWARD THROUGH THIS PANDEMIC 
For the first time in recorded history our youngest generation of children are now expected to live shorter and sicker lives than their parents, even though medical technology continues to advance and we know more about the impact of poor diet and lack of activity than ever before.
It is as if humanity is at war with nature.
If all of us were to simultaneously jump of the Sydney Centrepoint Tower, we would each fall 10m/sec/squared and we would hit the ground at the same time at a very predictable velocity because we are all subject to Natural Laws - because we are Nature.
Disease is because of the violation of Natural Laws.
If Doctors wish to use the word Dr before their names then they should be teaching. So if teaching, they need to teach people how to stop building disease –that’s what doctors’ real roles are, otherwise they need to call themselves Physicians.
The only way Doctor’s can teach to not build disease is to know it, the only way they can know it is to live it and the only way they can live it is if they have learned it.
Doctors spend over 16,000 hours during their residency and have less than 20 hrs of nutrition instruction. 
Doctors have a nutritional deficiency in their education. 
Our exiting healthcare system is based on treatments, even though 80% of illness is preventable. Lifestyle disease needs lifestyle medicine.
Poor diet is the number one cause of death and disability. If most deaths and disability are related to nutrition, then, obviously, nutrition is the number one thing taught in medical school; right? Obviously, it’s the number one thing your doctor talks to you about at every visit; right? Drugs don’t cure dietary diseases.
Doctors mean well, but they are generally just working with methods that don’t work. (Cut, burn, poison – come on!). The body takes care of itself – it cannot do it wrong. It is always working in your best interest. It is programmed for survival. We are not talking about accidental and emergency care here – this is where medicine and surgery can have a life saving role. 
Our bodies are so complex that we will never work it out and you don’t have to. Do we have to explain it to a dog, possum, or elephant? NO! Instinctively they know. They are plugged into the wisdom of nature called instinct. Medicine as we know it has only been around for about 150yrs – instinct has been around since the beginning of time – listen to it!
All culture and “cures” take us away from nature and that’s an abomination because we are nature. That’s the beginning of the lie that leads us down the path of looking for a cure. Is it not better to stop building disease? Of course it is! Does anything else work? NO!
Why is it that those animals that have no interference from humans die from less than 10 diseases?
One out of every 2.5 people will now get cancer. There are 4,000 rare diseases and over 80 auto immune diseases alone.
Heart disease and cancer are the number one and two leading causes of death and medical error is the third!... Iatrogenic - look it up!!
So what do we use to treat these leading causes of death? We use medicine – but medicine is the third leading cause of death – does this make sense to you? This is data.
The reason this has happened is because we have strayed from nature. We live in boxes, drive around in machines and eat foods that are made by machines.
We are living in a way that we were not evolved to live.
How many of us know how to take care of our body?
Paracelsus said “anyone who is not their own physician by the age of 40 is a fool” and that “health depended on the harmony between man and nature”. To be healthy in today’s world we need to cultivate a reliance on ourselves.
Our dietary and lifestyle choices and the way we think and emote are affecting our health, our environment and the animals we share this planet with. How we think, eat and act are a choice – to either improve the world or make it less… to either sustain the conditions that are supportive to life or worsen them…..

SO WHAT IS HEALTH AND DISEASE 
Health is life in balance – disease is life out of balance.
Disease is a body instigated process for healing and repair; to re-establish homeostasis. If you treat a symptom 99.9% of the time it’s going to make the disease worse. The symptom is there as your body’s attempt to self-regulate and heal itself. Symptoms are a manifestation of something out of balance – you and your soul, you and your emotions, you and your body, and you and nature. The symptoms are the medicine.
When we take drugs for the disease we are telling the body that we are not listening. When we treat the disease we halt the body’s attempt to heal and repair. The symptoms are the body’s attempt to remove excess waste and when we treat the symptom we increase the body’s toxic load. Even though you will experience pain and uncomfortable symptoms these are signs of the body’s attempts to heal itself and restore balance.
When we treat disease we separate from ourselves.
The only way to address disease is to address the cause. Every action in the body, in disease, as in health, is towards the preservation and improvement of life. What is commonly called disease is in reality, a beneficial and remedial process. Dr Herbert Shelton (Human Life) says, “Health and disease are the same thing – vital action intended to preserve, and protect the body and there is no more reason for treating disease than there is for treating health. The body slides easily into disease when conditions warrant and glides as easily back into health when conditions justify.” 
Convincing people to alter their behaviour to remove the causes is an unprofitable business. People quite naturally, want to feel better with as little effort as possible and their natural psychology equates feeling better with getting better. However, when drugs are taken to relieve symptoms and reduce pain, feeling better does not mean getting better.

Modalities, treatments or therapies that involve drugs, herbs, supplements, manipulations etc may be useful predominantly in the short term to assist with any imbalances and allow time for the person to somewhat recover until they make the lifestyle changes necessary for true recovery to occur. However, if used continuously they really only act as a band-aid unless the underlying causes are addressed. 
When we use drugs, remedies and therapies to eliminate symptoms, and do nothing to address their cause, we do nothing to create health, nothing to motivate change, no reconnection with nature, no evolvement, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual and does nothing to protect us from further disease. Treatments and so called cures take us away from the journey of healing.
THE BEST KEPT SECRET IS THE BODY CAN HEAL ITSELF. 
The same innate wisdom that made the body, can heal the body. This is known as – vitalism. And it doesn’t make mistakes; it doesn’t mess up. Everything the body does is a wise response to a perceived stimulus – without exception.
Most acute diseases are self-limiting and resolve with the passage of time.

Now that we know about our microbiomes and viromes can we really believe that "germs" are predominantly the main cause of disease?
Or are these so called pathogenic ones just co-existing with us - whose roles are to "clean up the mess"
And just like the flies do not cause the compost - are these "pathogenic germs" inside us to restore balance?
And our jobs therefore would be as simple as to stop building disease inside and outside us. 

Address the cause, learn the tools, do the work, then live the solution yourself.
Health comes from healthful living.

The secret to recovery: Stop the repeated injuries 
Acute disease or accidents are generally from single or less frequent injuries such as food poisoning, infection, insect bites, car accident etc. Whereas chronic disease is the result of thousands of injuries - to the arteries, joints, and other tissues over prolonged periods of time. Even though the force, frequency, and means of impact differ; the mechanisms of repair are still the same, whether the injuries occur once or a million times. 
If your health is getting worse it is not because your body is failing you - efforts to heal never stop - not for a moment. Again your body is always working in your best interest. It is programmed for survival. The reason for your continued distress is because the damage is ongoing. FOR DISEASE TO PROGRESS, INJURY MUST OUTPACE HEALING. Reversing disease is simply a matter of STOPPING THE ONGOING INJURY, which is usually self-induced. Greater recovery is expected the sooner the repeated injury is stopped. (There is a point reached where disease can become irreversible, because the injury is too severe and/or the body is too worn out to recover however, even than spontaneous healing can still occur – don’t underestimate the miraculous healing powers of the body).

4 APPROACHES TO HEALTH 
(Comparison between Medical, Alternative, Natural Hygiene)
1) Does this approach teach people that they can take responsibility for their health, resulting in them feeling empowered, and in control of their lives or does it led them to feeling victims of their fate?
2) Does this approach focus on identifying and removing the cause or does it just focus on removing the symptoms?
3) Does this approach respect the fact that all physical healing can only be done by the body itself?
4) Does this approach take into consideration every aspect of an individual, including their psychological and emotional health or does it just focus on a particular organ or body part? 

SO WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN 
We need to educate ourselves about the causes of health not the treatment of disease.
Our bodies know what to do – we need to relearn how to listen to it and trust it. 
Health sovereignty – self responsibility, not farming out our responsibility to others. We have lost how to care for ourselves. We have been programmed that the governments and doctors can make us healthy, better and heal us. They do not know how to do this, nor are they healthy themselves. 
Doctors study disease not health. We go to doctors like priests to be absolved from our disease, not to learn about health. 
You need to know that your health is largely in your own hands and no one else’s. Especially not to those who have invested interests. Health is the natural spontaneous consequence of healthy living. Become your own doctor. The more conscious you are the less support you need. 
This doesn’t mean you don’t ask for help or accept opinions. It means that we need to be responsible for our own health, to care for our own being and that of others and the earth. 
We are constantly in healing and recovery, what if it was about living? That’s the goal. Healing now is recovery from our artificial living.
We don’t mind dying – we just don’t want to be the cause.
Our current model is outdated and disempowering. 
Dr Michael Greger calls the leading cause of disease as, “not telling the truth.”
The food and medical industries have been manipulated for profit and control. Today the masses no longer think for themselves and have lost trust in their innate and instinctive healing ability. They turn to an industry and governments that have no interest in keeping them healthy. According to independent reports by the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine, a wing of the American Congress, and the World Health Organization (WHO), 85-90% of all medical procedures used by today’s medical establishment are unproved and not backed up by scientific research.

To discover and understand the cause of disease, you will first need to let go of the idea that disease is something that must be fought. Healing is accepting, allowing and supporting, not fighting or resisting. Healing can occur when the body can use its innate healing capacity and is not overrun with a fight (treat) or flight (ignore) response situation. 
There is something to be learned from every situation, including disease. A person’s willingness to face, accept and grow from the issues that dis-ease brings up turns disease into a purposeful and potentially uplifting experience. There is an underlying cause of every situation, even if it seems unrelated. You as consciousness, are the only true source of that energy and information that runs your body. Your presence in all things including your body, what you do, eat, drink, feel and think determine how well on a physical level your cells are able to control and sustain your physical existence. Disease is a provider of new life. Disease only “strikes” when a part or parts of us are not alive anymore, physically, emotionally and spiritually. 
The wound is where the light enters – means that grief, pain, suffering is where you grow. 
The Cosmic Intelligence is holding us responsible for our universal health - both body and planet. 

With loving kindness Susan and Lance”

Feeling gratitude

As if this time of pause and reflection was not a blessing in itself, the universe bestows upon us too this most incredible weather! I’m just grateful that here on Guernsey we are permitted two hours of exercise per day, and us Es have certainly been making the most of this. We’ve enjoyed every moment of our time in the great outdoors both within the garden and beyond. Spring is most definitely sprung and the land herself is a blessing. The colours of the flowers!

I haven’t used the car for a good old while now, favouring the bike, and we’ve been heading out to the cliffs and to Petit Port mainly, down those 300 odd steps. The tide has been super low so we fulfilled a dream of walking/swimming between Petit Port and Moulin Huet, which was great. We’ve enjoyed running on the beach and swimming in the sea and I’m only grateful for the electric bike on the way back home, after traipsing up those steps!

We’ve managed swims at Saints and Fermain too, early morning, when the tide has been at its highest after that full moon, it was a 10.2m on Thursday, which was super high and ever so peaceful. There’s nothing better than having the beach to ourselves for a quick run around and then back home again, refreshed, ready to ‘stay home’ until we need a run around (or run off) again.

Staying at home hasn’t been particularly challenging though, we’re lucky to have a garden and I was excited to establish our raised bed so that we could plant on the waxing moon, literally hours before the full moon peaked. So far so good, with this sun the plants have been growing well. Even some of my medicinal plants have started sprouting, and I’ve had to re-pot the marigolds already. 

 I’ve said it before but as Mother Earth is allowed to re-wild herself, so too we have been re-wilding, not that we even realised we needed to. Eben removes his clothes at every available opportunity, he even pooed in the garden today, like it was the most natural thing in the world, and I suppose it is really. Goodness knows how we might try and tame him for pre-school, although I think it might be a while until the children return to school, but who knows.

If there’s one thing we are continuously reminded, it is that all life is uncertain. I’m reading a book called The House of Glass by Hadley Freeman about her Jewish grandmother and her grandmother’s siblings, and their life as Polish Jewish immigrants in the 1930s and 1940s in Paris, France. If ever there were people who had to live with uncertainty then these were European Jews in the 1940s, never sure when their life might be taken away from them, just for being born Jewish. But don’t get me started on that.

People are constantly persecuted aren’t they, for being born a certain way, or in a certain place. Just as people are always dying, regardless of Covid-19. I wonder if sometimes the media might have forgotten that. Children continue to starve to death on a daily basis. Refugees also die because no one cares and no one will accept them into their countries for fear of…presumably the same fear that found the Jewish people being refused entry into other countries all those years ago too. Who knows. I’m no expert. 

I do know that it saddens me that no one cares, as if we do not have the capacity in our hearts to care for so many. One of my swimming friend’s made it quite clear to me that really no one does care at the moment about all the other suffering, about children starving and refugees dying from neglect, because Covid-19 has taken centre stage. This made me sad too. That lives are not equal. There is still so much inequality, still ethnic cleansing, and so much harm done. It’s out of sight and out of mind and I am only sorry to those charities trying to help, but now not receiving so much funding.

It was a defining moment for me though, being told this, as if some lives are worth more than others. We’ve certainly been there before, history is full of such stories. We’re just lucky some of us to have been born in Guernsey, where we don’t have to worry about our safety beyond the current Covid-19 risk. I suppose this is the reason it grips us. It’s the closest we’ve gotten to having everything taken away from us, not least our freedom but our life and the lives of our loved ones. I do understand the fear and panic this has created. 

However that doesn’t excuse the blame culture, and the tale telling that we have seen, with  some sending photos and videos of people on the beaches to senior politicians, who thankfully had the sense to say that they couldn’t understand the problem. It’s about being responsible isn’t it. Taking responsibility. Doing what is asked of us and leaving the authorities to manage it. I appreciate that underlying the tale telling is fear, and I feel huge compassion for those who are suffering with this, the fear that is, and the sense of being out of control, and worried for their lives, and therefore needing to blame everyone else.

But really, better to just enjoy what we can of this time, to shift the perspective, find the positives and focus on those. Life is always uncertain. It always has been and it always will be, we need to just settle into that, because we never truly know what tomorrow might bring. Thus me being sad serves no one. It certainly doesn’t serve my family. Me worrying absolutely isn’t going to help anyone either, it’s just going to waste my energy. This is the time to step into the uncomfortableness of the unknown and live in the moment. 

Getting on with things and having fun where I can, doesn’t mean I don’t still feel compassion though, for those directly affected by Covid-19, who are losing loved ones and in the most traumatic circumstances. I am also sorry for the many other millions currently suffering, not only because Covid-19 has locked down the world making their lives increasingly difficult – Refuge reported a 25% increase in calls from those suffering domestic abuse last week in the UK, for example. 

 I’m forever hopeful that this disease will make us more compassionate, collectively. That the world will come together, not separate. That we might care for all beings, regardless of where they were born and when. That we might still learn to find the joy in the uncertainty, that we give each other a break and acknowledge that we’re all doing our best. Perhaps it is bold of me to ask this, but if there is a time to seek new beginnings, then it is now, in our own lives, that might feed into the collective.

 This is what spurs me on at this time. To live life to the full within the guidelines given to us by those who know best at this time. No one really knows how this will unfold. But what we do know is that we have a choice in how we experience this time. Whether we focus only on the negatives and the potential for dying, or whether we embrace the positives and get on with living. 

I’ve become increasingly thankful for my life and for all it brings with it, that I get to enjoy this weather and this island and my beautiful wild family, there is much for me to be grateful about and I am grateful, truly. I’m especially grateful that my children get to be wild, because I have never seen them happier. The wild suits them, it reflects their inner spirit, they are uninhibited and innocent; this too is a gift. 

I know others are grateful too. Covid-19 might be dividing but it is also providing people with an opportunity to consider their lives, the before-Covid-19 and how they might like it to be following Covid-19. Some will no doubt be keen to get back to ‘normal’, while others will be happy to settle into a new normal, with some lessons learned from this pause. That too will be fascinating to observe, whether we soon forget or manage to maintain our gratitude. 

Shifting from fear

We began lockdown here in Guernsey on the new moon and here we are now on the full moon, and with lockdown being extended for a further 10 days. 

I’ll be honest, I’m in no hurry for lockdown to end. Admittedly I miss being able to be in the same room and touch students when I teach, and I long for a proper long swim and to hang out with my parents, but there have been many positives to come out of this last two weeks. I have a raised bed all of my own for example! This is a dream come true, it’s been on the list for years, but the opportunity just never presented itself until now.  

There are so many other positives that I blogged about recently, even getting to spend all this time with the children has been such a gift. So there will be many things to miss when lockdown has finished, but the one thing I absolutely won’t miss is the fear that Covid-19 has brought with it. I was always taught that fear represents ‘false evidence appearing real’. Fear feels very real, but it is just an emotion, just a state of mind, just something that we have chosen to buy into, that will create our reality, because of the manner in which we allow it to control our thinking and the decisions that we then make. 

 It’s very difficult when you’re ‘in it’ to recognise that you have a choice, that it is your mind that is allowing fear to take up residence, that only you can actually decide how you might react to any given situation. Do you come from a place of love, or a place of fear? Because the outcome will be very different depending upon your perspective, and your suffering will be greater one way more than the other too.

It’s not dissimilar from the glass is half full/glass is half empty scenario. We get to choose. But like I say, sometimes we are so ‘in it’ that we don’t recognise this. We’re also so conditioned to respond a certain way that we are not even conscious of the manner in which we have reacted until much later, when something or someone makes us conscious of it and by then it’s too late. 

Media doesn’t help. We are fed the negative constantly. I’ve had to stop looking at Facebook beyond yoga, because the negativity, albeit from many well-meaning, was becoming so draining. In this too, you see, we have a choice. We always have a choice about what we allow into our lives, from media, to people, to experiences.

E says Covid-19 has made me very opinionated and he’s right. I’ve had to look at that. Perhaps that’s my underlying fear, not of Covid-19 but of the detrimental changes to society because of the fear that has accompanied Covid-19 and the manner in which it has changed behaviour. I don’t like that people don’t want to breathe fresh air, that people virtually throw themselves into hedges when you run past them, and that others feel it’s their place to judge and criticise what people are doing with their two hours of exercising.

I’ve had to pull myself up on that, because in many respects that makes me judgmental and closes my heart to the world. I have had to reframe this, so that I don’t  lose myself in it, to have compassion for the fact others’ fear is so great that they literally see you as the enemy in disguise. Perhaps it is this that I’m having to come to terms with. Perhaps this is my underlying angst with this whole situation. 

Because I have recognised that there is some angst and it is this that feeds in to me being opinionated, as much as the extra yoga classes I am taking are taking me deep into the anger that has been stored deep in my hips all these years. None of this helped, or perhaps actually all of this has absolutely helped by the full moon that has shone a light into the shadows, that has highlighted the internal angst that has probably always been there but is now standing out.

Sometimes I feel sad, because I don’t want to live in a world like this, where I might be seen as the enemy. And then on the other hand, I feel incredibly happy because I see so much beauty in the world around me as I run around the lanes. All of this is OK. I know that. If there is one thing the Scaravelli-inspired yoga is teaching me, is the being OK with uncertainty, so that things are neither black nor white any more than they are right nor wrong.

Yet that’s so difficult when we have been conditioned to think that things have to be one way or the other, and that if they are not the way we want them to be then we automatically and quickly need to fix them or react to them or -tra la la- become opinionated about! This too I have had to work on and it has not been easy and is an ongoing process of letting go…

In our asana practice we thrive on a posture being practiced this way or that, we are attached to the form of it. Letting this go has not been easy. It’s also been totally mind-blowing to be guided to practice a posture in a completely different way to how I may have practiced it previously. I have been so conditioned over the years that I have to be so incredibly attentive to not move automatically and unconsciously in a way that I might have done so many times over the years.

 I have been astounded time and time again to find that the very way I have always moved my body in postures has not only limited the range of movement and freedom of my spine in any posture, but has limited my mind too, made me stuck, fixed.. So now, my teacher showing me another way, has not only impacted on my body, but has impacted on my mind too, it’s been blown away. At times I’ve had to just lie there and let it settle in, thinking to myself, ‘my goodness, so in drawing the hand and foot together rather than pushing away from each other, I’ve actually experienced more ease and depth in that pose etc etc’.

It’s this perhaps that has been so mind blowing. The opposite of what we might have thought. How humbling is that to recognise that there are other ways than what we had fixed in our mind as being ‘the way’, and all this just from the way that we might practice a yoga posture. Again it comes back to perspective. Love or Fear. Do we practice lovingly, in towards the self, or do we push/pull away with fear outside of the self? I know which one has brought me the most contentment. 

But oh so tricky to let go of what has always been and settle into the unknown territory that my teacher is taking me. And yet, I have recognised that the timing for this additional training has been a true gift, because if ever there was a time in life where we might need to settle into unknown territory then it is now. It’s not easy, it brings up all sorts of things, but what I have recognised is that it is a dance, a balance, a being OK with all the ranges and movements within it that helps us to step further into the heart and to compassion for self and others and to contentment.

I suspect compassion and contentment might be an antidote to fear. It might help to centre us and make us recognise that we have a choice about how we feel. I always remember someone telling me that even in prison, people cannot take away your freedom of mind, your freedom to choose the perspective that you adopt to approach your life. It’s not always easy, it’s very difficult at times, but it is insightful when we start to recognise the manner in which we are thrown off our balance, lose our centre and close down our hearts, so that we can become better at recognising it (the triggers) earlier the next time.  Life is never certain. 

I’m hopeful that as the sun continues to shine and nature continues to astound us in her beauty (now we have the time to recognise) the more comfortably we will be able to settle into the uncertainty that Covid-19 has brought with it, so that we may find our collective centre and let go of the fear that has been pervading society in recent weeks. Perhaps then we might find greater contentment. Personally I think reducing exposure to media, especially social media helps enormously with this! 

The Blessings in the Curse

Now I’ve found my flow within this new reality that we find ourselves in, I have to admit that I am loving it. I appreciate that people are dying and are losing their jobs and others are unwell and separated from their families, yet I am grateful for this opportunity to shift how we are living and align to something slower paced instead. 

In many respects I have been quite lucky as our lives were already lived relatively simply. I wasn’t going to an office and I wasn’t working full time, so being at home with the boys has not been a shock to my system as it would understandably have been for others – I am in awe at those attempting to work full time from home and school children all at the same time. It helps too that my parents are on hand by FaceTime to help with Elijah’s learning, and I have been grateful for their support.

But more than that, over the years of practising yoga, aspects of how my life used to be lived have dropped away, I don’t go out for dinner, or socialise with the girls beyond meeting for a sea swim, for example. I don’t go to the hairdresser regularly, or have my nails done. I don’t go shopping for clothes or for anything else beyond food if I can help it! I don’t go to the cinema or to the gym. I don’t really do very much when I think about it, beyond yoga, writing, cycling, going to the beach, and being with the children!  

Of course there are things I miss, but the missing doesn’t feel as great as it did at the beginning, as I have let go a little of those attachments too. No doubt there will be more to let go of as this lockdown continues, but I’ve started to recognise more of the positives than the negatives and long may this continue! To be honest I have felt much more gratitude for all I have in my life, now, than I ever did previously and this in itself has been a positive, as are these:

·      There is less rushing and for this I am eternally grateful! I have known for a while that I needed to slow my life down and stop with the rushing, especially rushing the children in and out of the door, and lockdown has achieved this for me. We no longer need to rush and life is so much easier!

·      Time has taken on a whole new meaning. Aside from being on time for the yoga classes that I have scheduled, and the FaceTime sessions with my parents for Elijah’s home schooling, there is no need to be on time for anything else because we have no plans, we are able to just literally flow with where the energy takes us and that is extremely liberating. 

·      This means that we are able to drop more into the notion of there being no time or space, as we learn in Reiki Level Two, and I feel that this lockdown has allowed a greater lived sense of that. Time and space seems less of an obstacle as we connect over the internet regardless of space and time – one of my friends, Lottie, has been able to join some of the Facebook Live sessions with us from Australia, which is just wonderful. 

·      There has been greater connecting with people who are on my wave length, who I hadn’t had the opportunity to connect with previously. It’s as if a whole new world has opened up bringing with it lovely new connections. There’s also been a deepening in established connections, which has been wonderful too. 

·      The reduction in noise from the roads and the skies is a true joy and I can hear the bird song much clearer than previously and I’m slowly learning to recognise which bird song comes from which bird type!

·      I also feel that I can see more clearly too, without all the traffic, and I actually stopped my bike the other day, when I was out cycling, to stare at the wonder which was someone else’s garden full of beautiful flowers blossoming.

·      I feel like I can breathe more easily too, especially when I am out on my bike, the air just feels cleaner, like its filled with more prana, perhaps because it is spring and nature is abundant in energy. 

·      At times it feels as if the flowers on the hedgerows and cliffs and in the gardens are from another world as they look so stunning and so vibrant, with their bright colours, reminding me that nature is abundant in her beauty and is not scared to share with it others, so that we too can delight in it.  

·      Being more aware of what I am buying, and trying to make as many snacks as I can as well as cooking from scratch twice a day and having the time to be a little more adventurous than I might be normally.

·      The opportunity to write - not least a little more time without the regular trips backwards and forwards to the school each day, but also the creative impulse, as if the time and the space and the extra yoga lessons that I have taken with my teacher have allowed me the opportunity to drop deeper into the creative.

·      Extra yoga lessons with my teacher have been a joy as both of our schedules have eased and E is at home to help with the children.

·      The time spent as a family. We were lucky as our lives allowed us a lot of family time previously, but now we have even more time together, and while this certainly brings with it its challenges (how can it not!), it has also been wonderful to be more involved in Elijah’s education, and witness more fully the mania of Eben!

·      This has been another benefit, watching the children coming into their own, in their own ways. Elijah has never passionate about school and he is enjoying not having the pressure of that and he’s now stopped counting down to the weekend! He has enjoyed learning from home, and I have enjoyed being more involved in his learning so that we can celebrate his achievements together. 

·      While Eben has been a challenge at times because he just doesn’t understand the reason he can’t see my parents, and he misses his friends and pre-school, it has been lovely to see him thriving and wilding himself even more than usual.

·      Watching the boys’ relationship develop. They are forced together for most of the day and they have thrived on this, playing in a way they have never played previously, and we are laughing more together as a family because of this. We’ve been grateful for the opportunity to walk a dog for another family, we love this dog and she has brought much joy to us as a family.

·      This is the other thing, this wilding. The boys have always been a little wild and E and I too really, but now we can truly embrace this aspect of self, getting out into nature, wearing the same clothes more than once, and embracing the dirt!

·      I’ve stopped being so obsessive about the cleanliness of the house. This is a big one for me as I am a bit OCD with cleaning as those who know me will agree, but I’ve let this go a little too, as I have re-prioritised my time, I’d rather be writing or playing outside with the boys than cleaning for the sake of it, hoorah for that!

·      Creating a Reiki community, which is something I have always wanted to do but never had the time nor the idea of how I might make this happen. But it has happened all by itself and I look forward to the weekly Tuesday evening sessions so that we can connect through Zoom. 

·      Creating an online yoga community has been wonderful too, to stay connected and share yoga with others during this tricky time felt by many, especially those juggling a working schedule and home schooling children. It is a joy for me to teach yoga and I am grateful that I have been able to continue to do this and to share my passion to help and support others as yoga has helped and supported me enormously over the years and continues to do so.

·      A depending connection to the Earth and to her ancient wisdom. I have even started planting seeds to attempt to grow medicinal herbs, something that has been on my mind for a while now, and I am hoping that they will be kind and grow for me and for me to share with you. A whole new world potentially awaits, let us see.

·      Getting out running. I’m not a runner, I prefer swimming and cycling, but running has helped me to process my thoughts and all that is happening, it has given me the space to think about the book I am writing, it has helped me to notice the beauty of nature around me and to clear my head and enjoy some solitude away from the family. 

·      Having to face my long-held fear of IT and learning how to do online videos for myself, let alone sending out newsletters and doing minor updates to the website. It has been a teeny bit empowering and I hope I can continue to build on it. I am very grateful to Katie Bisson, my brother and Nicky Jenkins who have all helped in the background. 

·      I have had to face my fear of seeing myself on the screen! I employed Steph to film the videos on my website professionally,  and so I have never watched them as she kindly did all the editing without needing my input, so I have avoided thus far seeing myself on them. However with Facebook Live and Zoom I get to see myself on the screen as they are recording and I have to admit that really it is no big deal, I wonder what all the fuss was about! 

 ·      I have had to look a little at my fear of my family getting ill or dying. I suspect I am still very much in denial about this as I comfort myself very quickly with thoughts of karma and our souls having their own journey. It’s a fear that I will one day have to overcome, but I’m hoping that now is not that time. 

·      I’m extremely grateful for my family and for my home, and for the land on which we live, and this beautiful Island on which I was born and the wonderful community we have. We are truly blessed.  

·      While it might sound as if it is all about me if my ramblings above are anything to go by, It is extremely humbling to recognise those who are deemed essential workers and those who are not. As a yoga teacher and Reiki practitioner, I am not deemed an essential worker, and nor would I have been if I had continued to work as a company secretary in the finance industry. There is a humility that accompanies this and it is my hope that greater respect is given for those key workers post-Covid, the ones who ensure that there is minimal disruption to the fundamentals of our ability to live, from those working at the docks, to those filling the shelves, from those caring for the elderly to those working in hospitals. Let us not forget. 

·      What I am loving the most is that this period is unprecedented, there is no guideline, no societal expectation on how we as a society or individually should behave or feel. I doubt there is a business model that can help guide businesses through this time with any certainty, we are all having to find a new way. This is extremely liberating not only in the moment, but also for the future of our society. We each have our own role to play in this, as part of the collective, to determine the kind of life we want to live post-Covid.

·      My soul feels more at ease, it enjoys this gentler rhythm, the time to observe my breath, to feel a part of nature, and to be in the flow of it – helped enormously because it is spring time. 

There are many other benefits too, in the wider world:

·      Councils in the UK have been told to house homeless people, some are now even being housed at Heathrow.

·      The population has renewed respect for health workers and those on the front line.

·      Around the world, Seismologists are observing a lot less ambient seismic noise – meaning the vibrations generated by cars, trains, buses and people going about their daily lives has decreased. This means that the Earth’s upper crust is moving a little less and overall the Earth is currently a much quieter place to live than it was.

 ·      There has already been a noticeable decrease in air pollution in some of the world’s most polluted cities.

 ·      I read that even the Ganges is looking a little bit cleaner!

·      People are coming together and helping their communities and especially the vulnerable within them.

·      People are connecting across the internet, there is a sense of global solidarity. 

I appreciate that there are many suffering because of fear about poor health and losing those they love, others fearful for the loss of the life they had previously enjoyed as more are made redundant or otherwise lose their jobs. Yet I know that every burden carries with it a blessing, it is the natural lore. So while it might feel chaotic and mad, once the turmoil has eased, the bigger picture will become much clearer.

We each have the opportunity now to re-assess our priorities and to really live and embody them, not just think about them, and then put the list back into the drawer until we have more time in our lives. That time is now. If ever there was a time. It might still feel crazy and messy, but every ending feels this way, and we should take comfort in the thought of the peaceful and more aligned new beginnings ahead, we just have to trust and keep letting go into the flow.

I hope that this time is kind to you and that you are able to be kind to yourself too. If ever there was a time for kindness and compassion then it is also now. Every now. But especially this now. 

Lots of love xxx