Jill's Falafels
Ingredients
2 X 410g cans chickpeas, drained and rinsed. You could use dried chickpeas and you need about 2 cupfulls, soaked overnight and then rinsed, placed into a saucepan and covered with fresh cold water. Bring to the boil and boil for 5 mins, then lower heat and add 1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda ( it will foam up). Scoop off scum and simmer for about 40 minutes. Drain and leave to cool.
1 small onion, finely chopped ( you could use spring onions instead if you prefer)
Large handful parsley
Large handful coriander
1 garlic clove
A knob of fresh ginger finely chopped (about the size of top of thumb)
3 level tablespoons plain flour (I use brown but white is fine)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon crushed chilli flakes ( or more if you like a kick)
1 heaped teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon ground coriander
1 - 2 tablespoons tahini
Salt & pepper to taste (don't overdo)
(You can play around with the quantities of the ground spices to suit you)
Pitta breads
Salad
Hummus
Sweet chilli sauce
What to do?
· Using food processor, put all ingredients in and pulse to a coarse paste like mixture (you can make this as coarse or as smooth as you like). Shape into discs. I make mine quite small but you could make bigger ones.
· Using oil of your choice (just enough to coat the pan), fry on medium to low heat, turning every few minutes, until they have a nice colour and are cooked through. About 10 to 15 minutes. Drain on kitchen paper.
· Serve with extra coriander, toasted pitta breads, salad and hummus and/or sweet chilli oil.
They are moreish, so make sure you do enough!
There's a Red-volution taking place!
I recently read this fabulous book called “Code Red: Know Your Flow, Unlock Your Super Powers and Create a Bloody Amazing Life. Period” by Lisa Lister. It is a fascinating and inspiring book, which every menstruating lady should read regardless of how well she thinks she knows her menstrual cycle and all that it reveals to her on a monthly basis.
I thought I knew mine rather well after years of getting familiar with it in an effort to manage hormonal imbalance and depression, and from the knowledge I have gained through my spiritual practice and healing work. However, Lisa shares some beautiful nuggets of wisdom and some wonderful suggestions of how to deepen one’s connection to the power and energy of the Divine feminine that I have certainly embraced and incorporated each month.
If, like me, you have always been a little bit dubious and resistant to anything that sounds like it’s throwing the feminine-in-a-feminist-type-way thing down your throat (I’ve never been a fan of feminism, far too masculine and aggressive in its energy), then you needn’t worry, this is a whole new paradigm, which isn’t so new at all, but is old and ancient and steeped in wisdom, vulnerability and rawness and yet full of strength, beauty and empowerment.
There is beyond doubt a “Red-volution” going on, you’ve only got to read Sera Beak’s book, “Red, Hot & Holy” and Meggan Watterson’s book, “Reveal” to recognise this. Both these books and others like them are becoming increasingly popular reads for women, especially those of us on our spiritual journeys, who are being called, yes called (yes you too if you are reading this) to embrace our souls, trust in our unique paths, create our own spiritual love stories, unleash our true selves and, as Sera Beak would say, “burn, baby, burn with divine love”.
I have also recently read “The Red Tent” by Anita Diamant, which is an absolutely fascinating tale of ancient womanhood and family honour as it looks at the daily life of a biblical sorority of mothers and wives and their one and only daughter Dinah. The Red Tent is a place where these women gathered together during their cycles of birthing, menses and illness - each new moon for example they would retreat from the rest of the world for three days and take to their tent to bleed, chatter and spend time together.
Not only does this story confirm the well-known belief that women in close proximity menstruate at the same time of the month, but serves as a reminder that today we women are often so out of touch with our own innate nature and cycles that we may have forgotten, or never known, that we are indeed cyclical in nature and not linear as one would have us believe in this masculine-orientated world in which we have tried to fit in and often end up doing battle within in our quest for an equal, “we can do anything you can do” approach to living.
We see this showing up all over the place, and never is it clearer than in those awful sanitary product adverts that have us roller-skating in white trousers when we have our period. I mean honestly, come on, who really wants to wear white trousers when they are bleeding and who really feels that they want to be out in public exercising. When I’m menstruating, I barely have the energy for a gentle stretch on my mat or a gentle stroll along the beach let alone a roller skate and all I really want to do is retreat from the world wearing my PJs, and keep a very low profile.
Furthermore, I’m not sure who thought it was a good idea that we cyclical women should try and live our lives in a linear fashion so that we are expected to feel the same each and every day, negating the natural cycles that see our mood change depending on where we are at in our menstrual cycle. Whomever it was should bog right off. We are creative, ever changing and fluid creatures, who are joyfully and sometimes less joyfully affected (and effected) by our hormonal changes and the moon cycle. Our moods are meant to change, that is the joy, the wisdom, the beauty that comes from being female, being a woman; we are alive and full of potential.
Only that we are not encouraged to embrace this. These days too many of we ladies are de-sensitised from this aspect of our selves. We don’t talk openly about our periods or our moods or our menstrual cycles. I can’t remember the last time I talked to one of my friends about this, other than to discuss fertility or whether periods have resumed after having a baby. But in fairness, I do have two special friends with whom I used to chat quite openly about my period and them about theirs. One now lives in Australia and another in America so we don’t get too much opportunity for these discussions these days.
Together we have shared many a happy adventure travelling throughout the world together and we have also spent quite some time hanging out in London when they both lived there and we came to recognise that our periods would indeed align with one another - usually led by our American friend whose hormones, we joked, were obviously far stronger than that of my Australian living friend and I. Funnily enough she was the one, the American friends that is, to get pregnant on her first attempt, just like that, at the age of 38. If only!
Special friends aside, on the whole, weladies have very little knowledge of the menstrual cycles of other ladies in our lives. And for many, periods are viewed very negatively, as a monthly pain in the backside (or front side to be more exact), as an inconvenience and as something further to consider in already hectic lives. For some it means bloating, depression, acute mood swings, cravings, pain and the need to take time off from work. For others it means another month without getting pregnant and all the heartache and frustration (and indeed self-pity) that that can bring.
I know all these feelings well, I’ve been there myself. In the days before yoga I used to suffer with PMS that made me feel dreadful, a combination of bloated, insecure, miserable, moody, anxious, paranoid and depressed. In fact, it was the depression that was particularly all consuming, and while I have written about it before, it is still worth mentioning, because what I hadn’t recognised initially, when I sought help from the doctor and was prescribed Prozac, is that my depression was cyclical, and therefore hormonal, rather than something that needed prescribed medication.
It was the depression and the detrimental effect this was having on my general sense of wellbeing and the resulting impact this was having on my life - plus the prescription for Prozac that I never ended up taking - that initially led me to yoga. So for that, I am eternally grateful to the PMS, what was once a curse (or so it felt, a monthly one at that), soon became a blessing because it opened my world to the joy of yoga and healing and Reiki and holistic therapies and all those wonderful things that have helped to transform my life in ways I could never have dreamed or indeed imagined.
Over time I have gained an understanding of how diet and lifestyle impact hugely on my experience of my menstrual cycle. So too I have come to recognise how much my cycle and my relationship to it, has been influenced by my relationship to my body and how well (or not) I am treating it. So too I have come to notice that the more I live my life in alignment with the whisperings of my heart and my soul, the less I experience any bouts of depression, and the more balanced I feel both within myself, during my monthly cycle and on my yoga mat, now how amazing is that? The body is always trying to tell us something!
It was this awareness that helped me to recognise how much I had come to neglect my divine feminine energy in my pursuit of trying to fit in and be strong in this male dominant world. I wanted to be as equal as the next – I wanted it all - but for we women this often means a lot of extra work, so that now we have to juggle careers, child rearing, shopping, running a home and – ha, depending on the time of the month: wink – still try to be good and kind human beings. It is perhaps not surprising that so many of us ladies end up exhausted and with hormonal and menstrual problems, let alone strained relationships!
The truth is, there is another way. It has taken me an awful long time to learn this, that indeed there is much strength that comes from simply being female, in embracing the feminine energy within. You know us women are pretty amazing. We are far more powerful than we realise. All the discomfort and yucky-ness we may feel at certain times of our cycle is generally our body’s way of trying to commune with us, of trying to let us know that something is out of balance, that we need to pay greater attention, get more intimate, understand ourselves that little bit better perhaps.
Which begs the question, why do we try to suffocate the body’s messages with synthetic pills and potions? Why do we think that doctors and other practitioners know our bodies better than we do ourselves? Why do we constantly give our energy away and negate our ability to know ourselves? Why do we not embrace our imbalances as opportunities to heal, get to know ourselves a little better and connect a little more with our innate wisdom? Why do we see our monthly bleed as such an inconsideration, why do we not celebrate its arrival as providing us with an opportunity to rest and renew, to let go of that which we no longer need?
Admittedly the arrival of our period is not always a cause for celebration. I too have known the heartache, frustration and sadness that comes with the arrival of blood and the knowledge that once again I was not pregnant when I so longed to be. It meant another month of a dream unfulfilled and another month where I wondered what was wrong with me. As it happens there was nothing wrong with me per se, but there followed a whole heap of tests and IVF, which all gave me an insight into how upsetting this can be – especially when we have spent so much of our lives trying not to get pregnant in the first place!
It was through this that I became even more intimate with my cycle and while it went against everything I believed I subjected my body to a whole heap of synthetic hormones to be able to conceive through IVF. We were lucky in that Elijah was conceived on our first attempt, but we have since experienced a failed attempt that saw more blood and more tears and more frustration at not only putting my body through such stress but at not getting your wish granted. Still, it is all a process, a part of the journey and often a test of one’s faith, patience and trust.
All of these experiences have led me to embrace my monthly cycle and all that it reveals to me. I have come to recognise that certain times of the month will bring inspiration, insight and the creativity to birth new ideas, other times I feel to retreat from the world and undertake some restorative yoga, keeping low to the ground, and resting quietly, yet other times I have boundless energy and can go, go, go and when I am bleeding I like to wear something red and bleed back into the earth to give thanks for all that it has given to me. There is a time for arising, a time for abiding and a time for dissolving. It happens each month. Its amazing, just like us.
I long to see a world where women join together to celebrate their womanliness, where they share and weep and talk and heal and laugh and dance and commune with the moon without fear of being classed mad or crazy, feminist or flaky, as you may well have concluded about me now! A world where women support each other on their womanhood journey, feel that they can openly discuss their monthly flows, their births, their insights, their creations, their child rearing, the highs and lows and everything in between.
I long to see a revival in these ancient customs, so that women come to recognise, respect and honour the magnificence of their bodies and the power that comes from this. A world, where women join and bond together in protest at the inequality still experienced by so many other women around the world today, where women join together to support each other rather than fight against each other, where we collectively acknowledge that it’s time to slow down, to embrace our femininity, vulnerability and cyclical nature, rather than exhausting and compromising ourselves in trying to fit into a linear masculine world with all its striving and ego.
I long to see a world where women are conscious of their decision to pump themselves full of artificial hormones each month and haven’t just chosen to do so because that is what you do to stop yourself getting pregnant, and yet don’t question the short or indeed long term impact on their health and wellbeing of doing just this. Of course there are always exceptions where there is little option but to take this, but to do so consciously is a huge step in becoming more empowered and respectful of our bodies.
I long to see a world where we are not expected to wear tampons and simply carry on as normal when we are bleeding, a world where we don’t even consider that perhaps blocking our flow for hours at a time is not going to have some impact on our energetic flow and the ability for the body to release that which it is shedding. Where we may be a little more accepting rather than repulsed by the blood itself and give back to the land that which we have been given.
I long to see a world where we acknowledge our magnificence and our beauty, where our womanly curves and our flabby bits are celebrated as a mark of our womanliness, where we come to revere our monthly cycles and our ability to birth new life into this world, where we allow our vulnerability, our creativity and our tenderness some expression in the world, where we laugh in the face of adversity and embrace our souls, our hearts and our divine femininity. Watch out, the red-volution is here, lets make this world a better, more feminine place.
Here are some of my tips for getting more intimate with your cycle and your flow:
· Journal. Journal your cycle and how you feel to get more intimate with yourself and start to notice commonalities at similar stages of your cycle.
· Honour your body’s messages, at certain times of the month you will have more energy than at others. Your cravings will change, sometimes you will absolutely need some dark chocolate and other times not.
· If you are trying to conceive then notice changes in discharge and come to recognise when you are ovulating. Perhaps read “Fertility & Conception” by Zita West and do what you can to boost your fertility, If you still don’t manage to conceive then go and see your doctor for advice.
· If you suffer with PMS then look at your diet and lifestyle and see how these may be impacting on how you feel. Read “Natural Solutions to PMS” by Marilyn Glenville and practice regular yoga and holistic therapies.
· When you are bleeding wear something red, so that you come to recognise and ritualise this time of your monthly cycle. Or perhaps place some red jasper in your purse or by your bed.
· When you are bleeding perhaps take to the earth and give thanks by allowing the blood to flow directly onto it (it’s not as yucky as you may imagine, its actually deeply intimate and empowering).
· When you are bleeding try and allow the blood to flow, so as not to block the energy of this downward motion, and wear natural sanitary products where you can.
· When you are bleeding avoid rigorous exercise and keep your yoga practice gentle with restorative poses and poses to open the sacral chakra and allow the energy to move down, down, down. Do not invert the body.
· When the moon is full go outside and bask in her rays and give thanks for her wisdom, nourishment and beauty.
· When you feel active and clear and alive then embrace this stage of your cycle and give birth to new ideas.
· Join the Red Tent and Moon Lodge movements springing up all around the world and set up your own with your female friends when you can chatter about all things female, drink some wine and eat some chocolate together.
Retreating on Herm Island
We just spent 4 peaceful nights and 3 wonderful days on the magical Island of Herm retreating and taking a break from the rest of the world.
Herm is located only 20 minutes by ferry from the main town of St Peter Port in Guernsey but you truly feel like you are getting away from it all. Cars and bicycles are banned so you can walk freely, although you do need to be aware of the quad bikes and tractors which are used for staff and luggage transportation, although limited at this time of year!
There is nothing open at this time of year, even the legendary Mermaid pub is closed for refurbishments so you could be excused for thinking we may get a little bored but this could not have been further from the truth and actually we ended up running out of time to do all we had intended and we cannot wait to get back again next month!
I have been feeling a little overloaded with information with the all consuming nature of social media and 24/7 culture ins which we now live so we disconnected and left Facebook and emails at home. The amazing thing was, and quite funny too, that the world kept on turning and life kept on going and i felt happier and less stressed than I have done in a long time.
That first evening we walked down towards the common when dusk was setting, the moon was already out, and we stood there all on our own and all we could hear was the sound of the sea and the birds calling and it was utterly blissful and one of those moments when you feel truly alive and in the moment.
We wrapped up and did a whole lot of walking, around the Island, along the beaches, through the middle, through the campsite, out on the cliffs, back on the beaches, over the sand dunes and through the common. Ewan and I went for a swim in the sea each morning while Elijah did "dig dig" as he filled his dumper truck with sand.
We collected treasure, a beautiful selection of pebbles, shells, sea glass and pine cones. Ewan sought out driftwood and he and Elijah turned it into art, as they made driftwood castles along many of the beaches of Herm and decorated them with their other findings, washed up onto shore with the recent storms.
It was a tonic for the soul. We rarely saw anyone other than ourselves so that we could just be ourselves and there was something very refreshing about this degree of solitude. I felt grounded and connected and in love with my family and with life itself, it was a fitting sending for Valentine's day with all that love permeating the air.
There is a lot to be said for taking the time to retreat from the world. If you are feeling tired and restless and in need of a break then I can highly recommend slowing down, switching off and finding your way to the beautiful Island of Herm, especially out of season when no one else is there!
Now back to another level of reality...!
x
The joy of the breath
It wasn’t until I discovered yoga that I also discovered my breath. I mean I knew I breathed, that’s one certainty to life right, but that aside unless I was out of breath from sport or struggling to breathe with a chest cold, I didn’t really give it too much thought.
And then yoga came into my life and with that came an awareness of the breath. It was a revelation to me really because I realised how much we can affect the way we feel by the quality and depth of our breathing. Not that I always remember that when I find myself in a stressful situation however but there is an awareness nonetheless.
The thing is the breath is essential to our wellbeing, well to our very existence in fact! There is this lovely story that was told to me recently. It is in the Upanishads, where various body parts and functions were disputing among themselves about their own superiority. To settle the argument they asked Brahma to adjudicate. He answered that the most excellent among them was the one after whose departure the body is worse off.
Speech departed the body for a year. “How did you get on without me?” he asked on his return. The others replied, “as the dumb, not speaking with speech, but still breathing, seeing, hearing, knowing, and procreating: that's how we have managed”. Similarly, the body managed reasonably well when each of the eyes, ears, knowledge, and sexual potency all took a year's vacation from the body.
Then the breath started to get ready to leave the body as the others had done before. Even as she began to leave so the others felt their powers diminish, and they wailed: “do not go out; we shall not be able to live without you”. The moral of the story is that the breath is vital!
Yes, it’s amazing isn’t it, that something as simple as the breath, that happens regardless of whether we are aware of it or not, is one of the most important and intricate activities we will ever engage in our whole life. In many ways you could say that our conscious life begins with our first breath and ends with our last.
And yet so many people pay such little attention to their breath. Even in yoga some people can practice for years and never truly know now how to breathe properly. In fact these days yoga is marketed as such a body based “get a toned butt” practice that people don’t always realise the importance of the breath and the fact that it is the breath which differentiates yoga from other forms of exercise.
Furthermore the breath is one of the most surprising and wonderful aspects of a yoga practice.
It is perhaps not surprising therefore that in the Yoga Sutras asana (postures) are only mentioned twice, while pranayama (control of the breath) is mentioned at least 5 times because it is that good for us to breathe properly.
Pranayama is the formal practice of controlling the breath, which is the source of our prana or life force. “Pranayama” comes from two Sanskrit words: “prana”, meaning the fundamental life force, and “yama” meaning to control. Pranayama is, therefore channeling or controlling the life force. “Pranayama” can also be seen as a combination of “pran”, the life force, and “ayama”, meaning expansion. In this sense pranayama expands the life force through all levels of our being.
Prana is the life force, “that which is infinitely everywhere”. With reference to us as humans, prana can be described as something that flows continuously from somewhere inside us, filling us and keeping us alive: it is vitality. Prana is said to stream out, from the centre throughout the whole body. Ancient texts tell us that someone who is troubled, confused or restless has more prana outside of the body than within.
Needless to say the amount of prana outside of the body is greater when we are unwell. Too little prana in the body can be expressed as a feeling of being stuck or restricted, of lacking in drive or motivation; we are listless and perhaps depressed. We may suffer from physical ailments too. On the other hand, the more peaceful and well balanced we are, the less our prana is dispersed outside the body. If all the prana is within the body, we are free of these symptoms.
If prana does not find sufficient room in the body there can only be one reason: it is being forced out by something that really doesn’t belong there – the “rubbish”. What we are trying to do by using the breath in yoga is to reduce this rubbish so that we can concentrate more and more prana in the body.
Our state of mind is closely linked to the quality of prana within. Because we can influence the flow of prana through the flow of our breath, the quality of our breath influences our state of mind and vice versa. In yoga we are trying to make use of these connections so that prana concentrates and can flow freely within us.
Thus we can use the breath during a practise to encourage the flow of prana through the body. The more prana flowing through the body, the more ‘energy’ there is to help dislodge the blocks. By exercising the body, through yoga asana (postures) and pranayama (breathing exercises) we can open up the body and enable the more effective flow of prana through the body.
Pranayama by itself is a wonderful practice, not only in helping you become aware of your breath but also in offering you many physical, physiological, psycho-emotional, mental as well as spiritual benefits. Some of these benefits include:
Physiological – pranayama stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system which, over time, reprograms our bodies’ habitual pull towards overstimulation of the sympathetic nervous system and significantly reduces the health risks associated with stress and anxiety (which may result from this overstimulation). General feeling of wellbeing may increase due to the extra oxygen which is nourishing the nervous system – relaxation is encouraged for example.
Physical – pranayama practices help to tone the organs, supporting and strengthening the immune system, nourishes, cleans and strengthens the lungs keeping them more flexible and free from toxins (which may help to eliminate respiratory problems). Furthermore a regular pranayama practice will increase oxygen levels in the blood so that cellular respiration becomes more efficient (the quality of blood improves and the digestive system becomes more efficient) and energy levels increase. Deep slow breathing will also help to strengthen the heart and make it more efficient while reducing blood pressure and susceptibility to heart disease.
Psycho-emotional – Our breath pattern changes when our emotional state changes. Thus as we consciously regulate our breath, we start to break our unconscious patterns of breathing, and the unconscious emotional patterns that underpin them. We can also use pranayama to calm our emotions and bring awareness to the changing state of our emotions – simply taking 10 deep breaths when feeling angry for example may well be enough to allow us to let go of that anger and appreciate that it is just an emotion and not react therefore to the situation at hand or become caught up with it.
Spiritual – when we practice pranayama regularly, our subtle energy wiring becomes stronger and we fill up with light and energy. Thus as our light body is gradually polished and enlivened, we also develop a much richer inner life and a deeper sense of spiritual balance and connection.
Mental – over time, our focus and ability to concentrate improves so that the mind can function more clearly. We also start to experience more calmness of mind and are more aware of those behaviour patterns and mental states of being that no longer serve us so that we can adopt a healthier and more “enlightened” mental state of being instead. Pranayama will help to alleviate the symptoms of depression, indeed it may help one to realise the underlying problem which has created the depression, perhaps a loss of spirit.
There are many different breathing techniques available to us, some are more advanced than others and will have differing effects on us. I would suggest starting with these two breathing techniques and witnessing the positive effects for yourself:
Synchronising your inhalation and exhalation (Sama Vritti)
1. Sit in a comfortable, cross-legged position such as easy pose, sitting up on a blanket or a block if necessary or kneeling if preferred. If sitting or kneeling on the floor isn't comfortable for you then lie on your back with your knees bent or sit in a chair.
2. Close your eyes and begin to notice your natural breath, which may change as you become aware of it but nonetheless just sit with it for 5 or so breaths.
3. Begin to slowly count to four as you inhale. Take a moment at the top of your inhale with the lungs full of air. Then also count to four as you exhale. Again take a moment to feel empty.
4. Then inhale again to another count of four. Continue this pattern. The exercise is to match the lengths of your inhales and exhales.
5. You may experiment with changing the number you count to, just make sure your inhale and exhale stay the same length.
6. Continue breathing this way for several minutes. Then let the breath return to normal and experience the change in how you feel.
Benefits – Breathing in this way helps to calm your automatic nervous system and will help to reduce the effects of stress and anxiety. It should calm and focus the mind so is useful to practice prior to a meditation practice. The great thing is, even children can do this!
Lengthening your exhalation
1. Begin by lying on your back with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor, hip-width apart. Place a small pillow under your head if necessary so that there is no straining in the neck. The body should be comfortable. Place a hand on the abdomen and take a few relaxed breaths through the nose, feeling the chest and the abdomen expand on the inhalation and gently contract on the exhalation.
2. When you have entered a comfortable rhythm with the breath, mentally count the length of each inhalation and exhalation and if the inhalation is longer than the exhalation, you can begin to make them the same length over the next few breaths.
3. Once your inhalation and exhalation are equal, gradually increase the length of your exhalation by a couple of counts so that perhaps you breathe in for a count of 4 and breathe out for a count of 6.
4. This may be fine for you or you may like to keep going until your exhalation is up to twice the length of the inhalation, but not beyond. For example, if your inhalation is a comfortable 4 counts, make sure the exhalation does not exceed 8 counts.
5. Please make sure you do not strain as this is counterproductive. Even if the exhalation is just a count longer than the inhalation then this can create a calming effect, so don’t push beyond this.
Benefits - This breathing technique can help to reduce insomnia, sleep disturbances, the effects of stress and anxiety. It is ideal to practice before bedtime or when you are feeling stressed or anxious.
I really want to get back to yoga but...
…I am just too busy;
…I need to lose some weight before I come to class;
…I am really unfit so I need to get a bit fitter;
…My body is too stiff, I can’t even touch my toes anymore;
…I can’t relax;
…The class is at the wrong time;
…I may as well wait until the next term/New Year;
…Everyone else knows what they are doing and I don’t;
…Everyone else is really good;
…I don’t really like my body at the moment;
…I am really tired and lacking in energy;
Sound familiar? I have met a number of people recently who have told me that they would like to get back to yoga but just can't quite make it happen. They don't even need me to remind them of the benefits as they know these for themselves and they tell me how much better they feel when they practice yoga regularly.
I am biased I know but there is also no doubt in my mind (or indeed my body and spirit) that a regular yoga practice helps to reduce the impact of stress, calm the mind, provide clarity, release tension, restore and increase strength and stamina in the body, stabilise the emotions and reduce the incidence of depression and anxiety.
So too that yoga helps to tone the ligaments, muscles and joints, correct posture, improve the flexibility of the spine, increase energy levels, balance the endocrine system, strengthen the immune system, heal the body, mind and spirit, liberate the heart, improve balance both on and off the mat, support the digestive system (and let us not forget that the ancient yogis believed that disease (dis-ease) begins in the digestive organs), wake us up (spiritually) and make us more conscious, help us to accept ourselves just as we are, realise our true potential, enable us to feel more connected to each other and to the greater whole so that we come to realise that we are all one, and improve our outlook on life and overall sense of wellbeing.
The trouble is the students who would like to return to class (the inner voice is telling them to in any event) have found a reason, an obstacle then, to challenge this return. This is not unusual, we encounter many obstacles on the spiritual path. But the funny things is that we tend to associate such obstacles as being placed in our way by someone or something else, we don’t necessarily consider that we are indeed our own obstacle, that we put our “stuff”, our story then, in the way. And the even funnier thing is the fact that this “stuff” is generally the reason we have been drawn to yoga in the first place.
The other trouble is we spend so much of our time dwelling on the past and living in the future, that we are always recalling how things were when we were a certain way (“how could I possibly come back to yoga when I am so unfit now compared to how I used to be”) and imagining how things will be when we are a certain way (“when I lose weight and am much slimmer then I will feel so much better about myself and willstart coming to class again”) and not just accepting how we are in this moment and getting on with it. But then there is always tomorrow.
And perhaps this is the problem, for there is always tomorrow, or next week, or next term, or next year, but aren’t we kidding ourselves to believe that playing for time will change things. Because isn’t it the yoga that helps to change things? By its very nature, yoga is transforming, it helps us to realise a little more of our potential by aligning our outer life with our inner calling, if we can only find the space and stillness to hear the inner calling that is…and that is often another problem, another sticking point, for yoga can become a little too confrontational at times.
You see yoga can make us naked to ourselves in the way it sheds light on our shadow side and encourages us to strip away the rubbish and all the stories (“this happened blah blah blah”) that prevents us accepting ourselves just as we are in this moment and taking responsibility for who we are, rather than blaming others (so and so did this to me, the “poor me” victim mentality) or berating ourselves for all our perceived inadequacies (because don’t we always want to be fitter or slimmer or more of this and more of that, or even less of this or less of that). Aren’t we often our own worst enemies with our self-judging and self-criticism, and our inability to forgive, let go and move on, that little inner voice berating us or bitter with blame for others.
So that sometimes yoga becomes a little too much for us to bear, not the yoga per se, although that can be very challenging too sometimes, the physicality of it, especially if we struggle to accept our limitations, but the healing that yoga can create. Not that we all come to yoga for healing of course, well not consciously perhaps, but yoga does offer much healing, and with that a healing crisis when things get worse before they get better so that frequently we are forced to really look very honestly at ourselves.
But this is where yoga is fantastic because it gives us the strength to make changes, to come face to face with our denial, to look at our life honestly and realise the bits that are making us unhappy, those bits that are out of balance or stuck, the toxic relationships, the unfulfilling careers, the lifestyles which no longer serve us, and sometimes it helps us to transform without having to make changes too, because sometimes change just happens, we blossom as we invite more light into our life, let go and allow the old to drop away (a little like butterflies coming out of their chrysalis and finding their wings). But sometimes it is just too much and we begin to walk away.
So what to do. Well acknowledging where we are it, being truthful then, is a good starting point. And then getting (back) to our mat. Just like that. This moment, now, just as we are, right now. And begin again. And when we are challenged, when the obstacles appear, well just breathe your way through it. Keep practicing. Keep the energy high. And when we fall down, we pick up and we get going again. That is life isn’t it. Our yoga practice is simply a reflection of our life. What happens on our mat, happens in our lives. Thinking too much, life out of balance? Well the balancing poses could be a struggle that day. Try thinking and balancing. Not easy!
So let’s just get back on our mats. If we have the intention, if we know it will be good for us, and heck we may even enjoy the experience, then just get going. However if we struggle to get going, if we cannot show up to our mat, just as we are, right now, warts and all, well perhaps we are not showing up in our lives, just as we are, either. If we are sabotaging our practice before it has even begun, what other aspects of our life are we sabotaging too? What prevents us taking that first step, making that first move, what encourages us to give up before we have even tried to get going?
In this regard I am reminded of a beautiful poem by Marianne Williamson called our “Our Deepest Fear”, which puts this all far more eloquently than me. I am quite sure this is a poem to which we can all relate at times in our lives:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
And this to me is the true joy of a regular yoga practice, of taking the time to truly be with yourself, present in this moment with all the “stuff”, with all the inner dialogue, all the insecurities, all the depressions and anxieties, all the stories and challenges, all the fears and dramas and questions and emotions that you are feeling, Just showing up is enough. Just lying on your mat is enough. Just being present is enough. The rest will come, you just need to take that first step. For yoga really is magic. You just have to begin.
Jill's Vegetable chilli
Ingredients
Vegetables - a selection to suit you, or whatever you have in the fridge cut into pieces as per photograph
1 onion, chopped
Garlic - I just use 1 fat clove but you can add to taste, or omit. Chopped finely
2 to 3 tablespoons oil (olive, vegetable etc)
1 - 2 teaspoons chilli powder (I use hot as I like a kick, but you may use mild or reduce the amount
1 heaped teaspoon brown sugar
1 heaped teaspoon tomato paste
2 or 3 teaspoons vinegar
750 ml or 1 1/2 pints tomato purée, either passata or tinned chopped tomatoes (or your own from the freezer)
1 tin red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
Method
Fry off onions in oil over medium heat until starting to soften. Add garlic if using and stir. Add chilli paste mixture and fry off for a minute, stirring all the time. Add tomato purée and stir thoroughly. Add vegetables (I keep pepper back to add with kidney beans later so that it retains some 'bite') and stir well. You may have to add a little water to loosen but remember that the vegetables will give off some liquid as they cook.
Bring to the boil, stirring often. Reduce heat to a gentle simmer, cover with a lid and leave for approx 30 minutes. You may want to give it a stir every now and then as the sugars in the tomatoes could stick if you are cooking on too high a heat.
Add peppers and kidney beans and continue simmering for another 10 - 15 minutes.
I serve it with pitta bread and sour cream, but you could do jacket potatoes, rice etc.
Bon appetite!
Limitation is a creation of the mind
"Limitation is a creation of the mind", was my mantra during my intense yoga teacher training in Australia all those years ago now.
I found those words on a yoga card, above a photo of an Indian yogi contorting his body into an incredibly challenging balanced position so that limitation could only be perceived as a limitation of the mind certainly not his body!!
My yoga teacher, Lance Schuler, who led the teacher training course was an inspiration in embodying the concept that limitation is indeed a creation of the mind and this concept underpinned his teachings so that students were encouraged to challenge their limitations throughout their yoga practice, because it really is incredible what shows up...if you are curious enough to be interested in the workings of your own mind...and courageous enough to acknowledge how you limit yourself both on and off your mat.
This has showed up for me a few times in the last few months. The first time was at a yoga class with the legendary Stewart Gilchrist who reminds me of Lance, they both have a full on approach to the practice and personally I love this for it challenges me on many levels.
This class was certainly challenging and I noticed the narrative, you know, that often relentless background chatter of judgements and analysis and all that stuff that can show up during a class. We were practicing in Dog Eared studios near Kings Cross, a fab authentic yoga space then, and I'd say that the majority of students had, or were in the process of, training with Stew and there was certainly a sense that these students were very dedicated in their practice, and rather fit too. So my narrative went a little like this:
"This is ridiculous, far too strong, its all about the body, look at that girl there, she's so flexible, must be a dancer, look at her pushing herself into that pose, what does it matter if you can do the pose or not do the pose. Good grief Stew, give it a break, this is all far too masculine and strong for me today, not sure this practice is doing me any favours, there is far too much ego in this room, look at Stew adjusting that guy, wow, incredible that his body does that, my body doesn't do that...
...I'm so much older than the other students, I'm so tired, these days, I bet these other students weren't woken by their 2 year olds 3 times last night, and I'm still breastfeeding and I need to conserve my energy so there is no point trying to get into those poses, what does it matter, far too much ego, I'm not good enough to be here anymore, this is far too strong, I need a gentler class these days, more meditative perhaps, for students of my age"...and on and on it went. Until. It dawned. On. Me. That...
I had started limiting myself.
It was like a light bulb going off in my head.
Turning 40 had made me feel a little old and with that I felt a little stuck in my comfort zone, like this is it, how it's always going to be. Little did I realise it was me, my very own mind, creating all this. It's just a number and this is just another phase...and deep down I know there is a lot more ahead...one just has to learn to step into, and beyond, the fear ("limitation is a creation of the mind").
With that awareness, in that moment in that class, I surrendered. You'll know what I mean if you've ever been there. The tears came up, the frustration was there, I terribly sorry for myself and uncomfortable, but I stuck with it, the realisation came, and I resolved then and there that I was done with limiting myself. The narrative dissipated, my attitude changed, my mood picked up, I started enjoying the practice and challenging myself to go that bit further again, and inevitably I left the class on a massive yoga high...everything felt possible again...and this is the reason I love yoga, it takes you beyond your own limitations if you allow it...
I was reminded of this concept of moving beyond limitations when I watched the film about Stephen Hawkins' life. He is a truly inspiring man, so too his first wife and the manner in which they embraced all of a life, and didn't limit themselves despite the potential limitations imposed on them by Stephen's health and prognosis.
It really is an interesting one for me. The mind is so powerful in shaping and creating our reality.
This showed up again for me more recently on our skiing trip. I have terrifying memories of skiing completely out of control in the day or so I have skied with one of my best friend's in Canada without any formal lessons. So going back to the mountains, in the French Alps this time, was a terrifying concept in my mind.
And despite the one-to-one lessons with my sister-in-law who happens to be a ski instructor, I noticed that my mind kept clinging on to what had happened I the past so I would see a steep section of the piste ahead of me and the fear would kick in and I would limit myself accordingly.
So I worked a lot with this and kept reminding myself that fear is simply a creation of the mind - False Evidence Appearing Real - and that if I focused on the present, there was no place for it to take a hold.
It wasn't easy. But this awareness did make a difference.
And what I also noticed is that when you start thinking, in skiing as with yoga, you are more likely to lose your balance and equanimity and fall over into the snow, or off your mat!
So for me, skiing became a meditative present moment, mindful activity. When I could get in the zone, there was nothing other than me and the mountain and this beautiful cold fresh air I was breathing in.
And then I'd start thinking and I would probably have to make a speedy recovery from the bad turn, or fall over and land in the snow! [I have a cracked rib to prove this...now there's a lesson all in itself, not least to keep one's poles well out of the way!!]
So it really fascinates me how much we limit ourselves in our yoga practice and in our lives generally. And it fascinates me even more how we try to overlook the limitations we have created, or the excuses we make for it, or the extent to which we deny it. And there is such a correlation between our self-imposed limitations and our fears (remember - false evidence appearing real) and the choices we make in how we live our lives and therefore the way our lives unfold.
Here's a lovely extract from Dawna Markova's book, "Reclaiming Purpose and Passion" which touches a little on this:
"What would it be like to open our hearts to our fear, to befriend it with wonder, as one would a deer in the forest? What if you could bring it right into the hearth of your awareness instead of ignoring it and thus allowing it to become an undifferentiated mass of demon that gang up on you in the murk? Stuffed behind walls, fear becomes a horde - the Demons of Doubt who will trample you under stories of what others think, of your endless failures, impending humiliation, and lost control. Together and ignored, they will drive you out of your own life. But when you invite them into the layered light of your awareness, they can't join together and rule you from the shadows".
So happy stepping beyond the self-imposed limitations and fear. It's all very exciting. And if you fall down, then just remember to get back up again. I certainly had to do that to get myself back down the mountain!!!
With gratitude to Lance, Stew and Kate for teaching me a little more to step beyond the limitations.
x
Jill's Spiced Parsnip Bubble and Squeak Cake
This makes a great vegetarian main in its own right - just serve it with something like chilli jam. You can play around with the quantities, for example I don't take the seeds out of the chilli because I like the 'kick'. Equally you could add more garam masala etc.
Ingredients
800g/1lb 12ozs parsnips, peeled and cut into chunks; 1 tsp turmeric; 300g/10 ozs Brussel sprouts or 1/2 Savoy cabbage, finely shredded; Large handful frozen peas; Juice 1/2 lemon; 50g/2 ozs butter; 2 tablespoons olive oil; 1 teaspoon cumin seeds ;1 teaspoon garam masala; 1 bunch coriander; chopped (reserve a couple of sprigs to decorate); 1 red chilli, deseeded and chopped.
What to do
Cook the parsnips with the turmeric and a little salt for about 12 minutes until they are well cooked.
2. While the parsnips are cooking, blanch the sprouts or cabbage in another pan of boiling water for 3 minutes until just tender. Add peas for last minute, then drain well.
3. Drain parsnips, then roughly mash with the lemon juice and half the butter.
4. Add all remaining ingredients (except remaining butter) and season with salt.
5. Heat the remaining butter and olive oil in a non stick pan (not too hot a heat) andpress the parsnip mixture into the pan. Cook until crisp and then using a large lid, slide the 'cake' on to the lid and flip the uncooked side back into the pan. Don't worry if it breaks up - you can pretty up on the serving plate!
6. When you are happy with the 'crispness', serve on a warmed plate. Tidy up the shape if necessary and place reserved coriander on top. Enjoy!
