Happy Equinox!
Happy Equinox! We are now on the wane down to the winter solstice on Friday 22 December, while the moon is on the wax to full this Friday 29 September. Interestingly it was at half moon as I stood watching sunset on the west coast of Jersey on the Equinox, having watched sunrise on the East coast this morning. If ever an Equinox was about balance then it is this one!
Known as Mabon, this festival marks equal day and equal night and the second harvest festival. It is a time for gratitude, acknowledging all that we have in our life, for the successes of the summer crops in all its many guises, and a time for letting go of that which is no longer required in our lives.
I have been reading a really interesting book on holding space. How easily we can hold space for others but not for ourselves. This is not true of everyone, obviously, but there are some of us who err towards making sure everyone else is OK and forgetting sometimes to take care of ourselves too. It seems to me that the equinoxes gift us the opportunity to witness these imbalances. The seasonal cold which comes in to release excess pitta and kapha in the body is indicative of this as it slows us down. Now, really, is the time to go within.
In our yoga practice we are encouraged to focus on movements that help to keep us grounded as the vata (air and ether) energy of autumn takes over from the pitta (fire and water) energy of summer. Simple practices calm vata and help us to focus on our breath, calming and relaxing our nervous system and supporting our need for letting go into the deeper parts of self that this transition to the winter solstice and the inner darkness encourages.
On a spiritual level, going inwards is of course a return to our true self, purusha, beyond the masking of the ego-self and all the ‘posturing’ which we might do in our lives. Through our yoga practice, we are trying to let go of the doing and proving so we can just ‘be’, connecting to higher and expanded levels of consciousness.
The concepts of purusha and prakriti comes from the Samkhya school of Hindu philosophy, which believes that the universe is made up of two realities. These two forces are purusha and prakriti, male and female, unchanging and changing, divine and natural.
According to this philosophy, we are made up of a balance of purusha and prakriti. Our body, mind, thoughts and actions are prakriti, always subject to change, and thus the challenge of the spiritual path lies in connecting back to our unchanging core, our essence, our soul, which is purusha. The idea is that our bodies change, our minds and ideas and perceptions change, but the core of who we are remains the same from birth to death. The spiritual path therefore, is about connecting to that which doesn’t change and to let go of the things that do.
It is very easy to identify ourselves with all that we do or think - I am a yoga student, I am a mum, I am a Reiki practitioner, I am spiritual etc, but according to the concepts of purusha and prakriti, all of these conceptions are prakriti, subject to change, unreal and not who we truly are in essence. Recognising and realising who we truly are, in essence, at core, means letting go of all our attachments to the perception of ourselves as physical and mental beings. Thus we let go of criticising our bodies, because our physical body is not our spiritual self. We let go of giving ourselves a hard time for ‘not being good enough’ because from a spiritual perspective, our essence ids exactly as it should be. We let go of criticising others too, and instead recognise the divine in them.
Our body, thoughts, beliefs and the roles we play throughout our life is transient. They all make up a whole, but our true self, is the core of the whole self.
On this path, we are encourages to find balance. Not only between the masculine and feminine energies inherent in each of us, but between stability and change, real and unreal, spirit and nature and stillness and the creative force.
We can consider balance in our life from this perspective. Where do we focus our energy, on prakriti or purusha and can we find a balance between the two?
We can also apply this concept to the seasons and to the manner in which these will influence our life and our opportunity to connect more fully to our internal self. The summer, for example, is all about being out there, it is active and fun and can disrupt our ability to go within. The winter, on the other hand, slows us down, encourages us to hibernate and access deeper realms within ourselves. And autumn is the transition between the two, a gradual retreat. This means softening and leaning into the ground, of letting go, rather than having to push ourselves out.
I’m certainly keen to flow with this energy, quieten down, go within and tightening boundaries accordingly.
The equinox was indeed a gift, and no doubt the full moon will help us see more of what needs to be forgiven or let go of ahead of the wane ahead.
Love Emma x
Forest Bathing!
Forest bathing, also known as ‘shinrin-yoku’, was first developed in Japan in the 1980s after scientific studies were carried out by the Japanese government. The results of the studies showed that two hours of time spent mindfully exploring in a forest could reduce blood pressure, improve concentration and memory and lower stress levels (through reducing cortisol, the stress hormone). They also discovered that trees release chemicals called phytoncides that have an anti-microbial effect on human bodies, which boost the immune system.
As a result of these findings, the Japanese government introduced ‘shinrin-yoku’ as a national health programme. Since then, forest bathing has begun to become popular elsewhere. The National Trust in the UK, for example, recommends forest bathing as a way to unwind and feel refreshed. This has been backed this up by science, with academics from the University of Derby in 2018, discovering that when people connect to nature, this significantly improves their wellbeing.
I was first introduced to the idea of forest bathing by Dr Diana Beresford-Kroeger who holds a bachelor of science in classical botany, a B.Sc. in medical biochemistry, a master’s degree in plant physiology, a PhD in cardiac ischemia (damage due to low levels of oxygen in the heart), and a diploma in general surgery together with a fellowship in the effects of radiation on biology systems. She has published in the top medical journals in the world, such as the American Heart Journal.
Diana has also written a inspiring books and filmed a documentary called, Call of the Forest: The forgotten wisdom of Trees. The documentary explores the most beautiful forests in the northern hemisphere and shares the stories behind the history and legacy of these ancient forests while also explaining the science of trees, and the irreplaceable roles that they play in protecting and feeding the planet. Not only do they provide oxygen for us to breathe - forests are known as the lungs of the world – but they also provide us with medicine to promote our wellbeing.
You don’t need to go to Japan to enjoy the benefits of tree bathing though. You can enjoy the benefits even here in Guernsey, in one of our pine forests. As Dr Beresford-Kroeger writes, “Go outside and find yourself a pine tree…Take twenty minutes out of your life in the company of these evergreens at noontime. They produce three aerosol molecules called pinenes. Inhale deeply in the presence of one of these trees and the T-cells of your circulating blood will immediately increase, boosting your immune system for free. This effect of one visit will last for thirty days. This is true for men, women, and children. A strong immune system is always your secret weapon.”
These are wise words and timely too as we try to strengthen our immune systems with the threat of mutation of coronavirus still very real. The answer is simple, get outside and find your way to the Guet or the pine forest at Pleinmont or Jerbourg. Go at noon and sit under a tree, then wander around, enjoying the forest environment, hug a tree if you can. If you can’t get out to a pine forest then perhaps inhale pine essential oil instead. Derived from the needles of the pine tree, the scent of pine essential oil is known to have a clarifying, uplifting and invigorating effect.
Furthermore, pine essential oil has antibacterial, antiseptic, decongestant, diuretic, stimulant, antiviral, anti-rheumatic, deodorant, expectorant and antifungal properties and is useful in protecting the body against harmful germs. In the process it positively effects the mood by clearing the mind of stresses, energising the body and helping to reduce fatigue, enhancing concentration/clarity and promoting a positive outlook. You can add a few drops of the oil to a diffuser to scent a room, or add a few drops to a tissue and inhale from that.
It’s not just the aerosols secreted by trees that make a difference to our wellbeing, but simply being in nature. Many of us live disconnected from nature suffering from stress, depression and anxiety. We underestimate the need for a solid foundation in our lives, laying roots that nourish and sustain us, connecting us to the earth and living with the awareness of the ebb and flow of the passing seasons and the moon cycle and planetary shifts. We only have to witness the mighty oak tree to understand the value of first establishing roots from which we grow, deepening our connection between earth and sky.
Like trees, we sometimes need to shed our leaves, let go of the leaves we have grown, and create new ones that are more aligned to our life in the next cycle. The tree does not hold onto its leaves confused and indecisive, it does not grip on when it needs to let go, there is a gentle grace that comes from knowing its place in all things and the cycle of all life, birth and death, earth and sky and everything in between. The sun and the moon know this too, rising and setting, waxing and waning, not holding on when it is time to change and transform.
Many try to force things to happen in their lives without first establish their foundation. In yoga there is no point rushing to the advanced postures until we have first practiced those that will allow us to establish a solid foundation, for example. In everything, we need to start at the beginning, we need to ensure there is solidity to that which we are creating, like a house requiring foundations, a tree requiring roots, so we too, must begin at our base and work our way up from there.
Too often in life we’re rushing though, always rushing from one thing to the next. We don’t always allow the grounding, the opportunity to be quiet, silent and establish our base. We are focused on outcome alone, and forget that there are steps which must be followed to allow the outcome to manifest. People flit from one healer to another, when the results don’t come quick enough, desperate to improve and get better, and understandably so, but forgetting that it’s takes time to heal.
It's the same with dreams, they take time to come to fruition. Some set up their own businesses and hope for results over night, undertaking copious manifestation exercises, willing and wishing and chopping and changing their offering, one re-brand after another, as they try to make a name for themselves, yet forget that they need a grounding and a foundation, that we cannot rush these things, not if we expect them to have any longevity, it takes time for seeds to grow.
As we spend time in nature and create a deeper connection to it, so we begin to notice more of our own nature, that we are the micro of the macro – more often than not, the way we treat ourselves is a reflection of the way we treat our planet. The more we can cultivate greater respect and love for self, the more we respect and love our planet too. We start to appreciate nature and the need to protect it, trees especially for providing us with oxygen to breathe and an ecosystem and home for many species.
My friend, Jo de Diepold Braham, who used to live on Guernsey, has recently established The Children’s Forest, a project to help encourage more children back to nature, sitting together around a central fire and envisioning a forest, before turning their vision into a reality. Here’s the link to lovely little video about this project, about planting their vision, which will undoubtably inspire you to get grow trees and get into a forest, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5g6jrbb5GA.
It inspired our ‘Plant A Tree Project’ which we are hoping to launch in Autumn, offering free seedlings and baby trees for children to plant and tend to in their gardens, more information here, https://www.beinspiredby.co.uk/plant-a-tree. I have also recorded a Children’s Yoga: Journey into the Children’s Forest video, which you are view here, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8CsjwiFVoY. The key though, is to get outside, into nature and allow nature to work her magic on you.
Tell me about Ayurveda
Over 5,000 years old, Ayurveda is the most ancient and authentically recorded health system in history. It was created by yogis who spent their lives studying nature and the human condition. Meaning ‘the science of life’ it is exactly that, viewing health in four dimensions of physical, sensory, mental and spiritual and is centred on preventative medicine and bringing a person back to balance.
Energy plays an important role in our lives. We need energy and vitality to be able to live our life in a healthy and harmonious way. We get energy from nature through the sun and other natural elements. Ayurveda believes that there are primary functional energies in our bodies that are aligned with the elements of nature. These three forces of energies are known as the doshas in Ayurveda and include vata, pitta and kapha. The entire system of Ayurvedic healing is directly related to these three doshas.
There are understood to be five elements in nature - earth, air, water, fire and space/ether - which are contained within the three doshas. Vata comprises air and ether, pitta comprises fire and water, and kapha comprises water and earth. Our biological existence is a dance of the three doshas and life is a multi-coloured tapestry of their movement in various plays of balance and imbalance, coming together and going apart. These three powers colour and determine our conditions of growth and aging, health and disease.
Essentially the doshas impact on us on two primary levels. Firstly, they are the factors that produce the physical body and are responsible for its substance and its function, for example our tissues are mainly kapha or watery in nature, the digestive system is mainly pitta or fire and the nervous system is mainly vata or air. Secondly, one of the three doshas predominates in each individual and becomes the basic determinate of his or her particular constitution or mind-body type.
However the word ‘dosha’ (which is Sanskrit) translates as a fault or a blemish and indicates the factors that bring about disease and decay and where we are therefore out of balance. Ayurveda will therefore seek to establish the dosha, or imbalance and treat to that, thereby allowing more of the natural constitution to reveal itself. In this way Ayurveda seeks to discover the causative factor for loss of wellbeing and will focus initially on restoring digestive function as this is believed to be the seat of all imbalances and disease.
Healthy digestion is therefore fundamental to wellness in Ayurveda and to establishing strong immunity, an open and loving heart and a peaceful and calm mind. If the digestive system is out of balanced, the digestive fire is not functioning properly, then this will create a loss of physical and mental wellbeing which will negatively impact on the immune function, let alone the mental state of an individual and their experience of themselves and life.
As Ayurveda seeks to restore digestive health, diet is always considered, together with life style factors that may also be contributing to a loss of wellbeing. Like attracts like and we will often be attracted to those foodstuffs and activities that will enhance imbalances. We may also be living a life that isn’t true to our life path (dharma), and this will show up as physical and mental illness that cannot be effectively treated with modern medicines but can be helped by Ayurveda.
A person can possess just one predominant dosha, have two equally dominant dosha or have all three doshas in balance. Here follows a rough guideline for how the doshas apply to different people:
Vata traits
· Tall or very short, thin and bony with good muscles
· Tendency to do many things – make things happen
· Quick learner
· Flexible
· Quick moving and actions
· Oval, narrow face and smaller eyes
· Dry, rough and thin skin texture, dry and thin hair
· Variable appetite, tendency towards constipation
· Poor endurance and easily exhausted, with bursts of energy
· Stiff joints
· Light sleep, possibly interrupted, dreams full of movement
· Poor circulation and sensitive to the cold.
· Intolerance to pain
· Forgetful and disorganised.
· Sociable and imaginative
· Drawn to creative activities
Anyone can experience vata imbalances, though the vata-dominant individuals are more prone to them.
· Signs of a vata imbalance include:
· Dryness of skin, hair, ears, lips and joints
· Dryness internally, bloating, gas, constipation, dehydration, weight loss
· Dry and lightness of mind, restlessness, dizziness, feeling ungrounded
· Roughness, especially skin and lips
· Cold – poor circulation, muscle spasm or constriction, asthma, pain and aches, tightness.
· Excessive movement, anxiety, fidgeting, agitation, muscle twitching and palpations.
Pitta traits
· Medium height, average build, often athletic.
· Warm skin texture
· Intelligent by nature
· Loose joints and good circulation
· Moderate immune function
· Thin and oily hair
· Good stamina levels.
· Strong metabolism and a healthy appetite (tendency towards ‘hangry’
· Tendency towards anger, intolerance, impatience and jealousy
· Tolerant to pain
· Subject to mood swings
· Sensitive to hot weather
· Motivated and goal-orientated
· Strong leadership skills
· Organised, private and have good will power.
· Tendency towards inflammation.
Anyone can experience pitta imbalances, though the pitta-dominant individuals are more prone to them.
· Heat increases in the body and causes discomfort.
· Inflammation in the body that can lead to joint pain.
· Stomach heat increases leading to heartburn, acid reflux, and ulcers.
· Diarrhoea or impaired digestion.
· Mental heat increase can cause excess anger, irritation, and frustration.
· Increased sweating and body odour.
· Increased hunger and thirst.
· Headaches with burning pain in the head.
· Sore throat with infection.
· Giddiness and/or hot flushes.
· Heaviness or tenderness in the testicles/breasts.
· Becoming judgmental and perfectionist tendencies.
Kapha traits include:
· Large, well-formed frame, usually short but can be tall and large
· Cold and damp skin texture
· Thick and lustrous hair
· Firm joints
· Moderate circulation
· High immune function and high endurance
· Often relaxed and calm
· Have a strong pain threshold and a strong will power.
· Tolerant, composed, patient, calming and forgiving
· Metabolism tends to be slow, making them sluggish
· Prone to respiratory disorders
· Heart disease is a risk they face
· Needs motivation, otherwise can get depressed
· Caring in nature and shows empathy
· Emotional over eating
· Stubborn, possessive and greedy
· Trusts others
· Wise and mature
· Happy
Anyone can experience kapha imbalances, though the kapha-dominant individuals are more prone to them.
Excess mucous in the body
Slow/sluggish bowel movements
Increase in body weight
Thick white tongue coat
Sinus congestion
Depressed metabolism
Fatty accumulation in the arteries
Mucoid diarrhea
Pre-diabetes
Cold/cough/runny nose
Hay fever
Cold sweats
Excess urination
Excess ear wax
Oily skin and hair
Poor sense of taste and smell
Lethargy and drowsiness
Ayurveda also uses elemental medicine to balance out imbalances in earth, fire, water, air and ether in the body. As mentioned above, Ayurveda places great emphasis on helpful changes to diet (with consideration of the six tastes and whether a food stuff has a heating or cooling effect on the body), lifestyle factors (including exercise, rest, yoga, meditation), massage and herbal medicines to bring a person back to health, and keep them there, promoting natural immunity and a more balanced and harmonious state of being on all levels.
To find out more please see here - https://www.beinspiredby.co.uk/ayurvedic-consultations
A celebration of moving with lightness
We’re waxing down to the dark moon in a few day’s time and don’t I know it! I haven’t read too much about this new moon yet but what I did read confirmed to me that yes, this is a heavy one. In truth it feels like they’ve all been heavy this year, it is a heavy year, and from what I gather it’s not going to get any lighter just soon.
If ever we need to be reminded that we live in a world of uncertainty then this year proves it and as much as I might try to create some certainty in my life, arranging retreats and workshops in advance, I know that the arranging alone does not make them certain.
The practice, the yoga practice, the chanting practice, the reading of the ancient texts, the listening to the Sri Lankan monks, the Reiki, all of this, well it changes things. Everything changes. I was reading a lovely blog post about this yesterday and quoted from it in class. Even one yoga class will change us in some way, how can it not. But being changed is not easy because always we have to let go of our idea of how life should be lived and who we are, beyond the stories, narratives and titles we use to define ourselves.
I’ve not found that easy this year. I feel almost as if the roots have been lifted, my very foundations shaken as I have repeatedly questioned who I am and what exactly I’m practising and teaching, let alone how I’m living and how much of this is from my conditioning - most of it! On the one hand this is deeply liberating. but on the other it is very shaky and very unstable because I have to find a new way to be that might be more aligned, not just in terms of relationship with self but relationship with society too. The latter is almost trickier than the former.
I feel that each moon cycle has ramped this up a little, shone more lights into those places that I haven’t been able to see previously and there has been very little let up from one shift to another, one pattern showing up to another and all so much woven together.
There was a respite for a night spent on Sark, requested by my eldest for his birthday, his soul needing the peace as much as my own. It was magical as always, Sark air, the most incredible night sky and the rising half moon, cycling, no cars, peace, glorious peace and good friends to sit and chat with, a beach to ourselves to potter and swim. I died and went to heaven all in this lifetime.
There as a definite case of Sark blues returning back and into the thick of other people’s dramas and neuroses because we are all of us being squeezed.
I found my mat with renewed need today, and found my breath and a long yoga nidra. There was mediation and self Reiki later, and a need to come back to the texts, to something grounding. Then I thought maybe what I needed was to watch some yoga practised and I found this most beautiful video, which has warmed my heart and fed my soul and sorry if that sounds’s gooey but it was much needed and worked a treat - look at it, just BEAUTIFUL!!! It reminds me that it is worth it. The going against the flow, the doing things differently and all because my heart said so.
If your heart is saying so too then you’ll know that it’s not easy and that there are days when you just want to stay in bed and be done with it, when you might just throw your hands in the air and say that you’re done with it and join the treadmill again. But other days, when you are not so weary, when your children have slept and are not draining all your patience and energy and you are feeling inspired, that you don’t doubt it.
I don’t ever really doubt it, I just become tired by the challenges to almost help me deepen my faith in it. Then I’ll watch a video like that, or I’ll read this extract and I’ll feel strengthened by it, a bit like an angel card that says it exactly as you feel it, as if the universe really is able to commune with you, and it is, it is, it is. There is no such thing as a coincidence, the signs are everywhere, we’ve just got to open ourselves up to it:
“Freedom from the Known is one of Krishnamurti's most accessible works. Here, he reveals how we can free ourselves radically and immediately from the tyranny of the expected. By changing ourselves, we can alter the structure of society and our relationships. The vital need for change and the recognition of its very possibility form an essential part of this important book's message.”
I might just have stumbled across this book at just the right time, and what fascinates me the most is the fact I have finally stumbled across it, because Krishnamurti has been mentioned to me many times previously but all of a sudden tonight from nowhere, yet from a place of longing for something to shine a light, I find his name popping into my head and then I find my way to this book and this quote that means so much already. What force does that? Brings us to that which we need to connect? It’s not gravity and it’s not magnetism, so what is it, love? Divine? It’s amazing whatever it is.
So this is the video that I was watching that was like a light and gives me more strength to continue in the direction that my self practice has been taking me, with a little more lightness…and shining a light on those aspects of self that struggle with this, the linear, masculine and will based parts of me that have been so used to pushing my life forward over the years, of always trying my hardest to achieve come what may…come what may?! I’m pretty sure there’s a more gentle way. I see it in this lady’s practice and it inspires me on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvSBeujJKAo
Peace. That’s the word that keeps coming to me. Our inner peace. Reconciling all aspects of self, the right, the left, the active, the passive, the achiever and the complacent, the being in the middle of it all, the unknown and being OK with that. I’m pretty sure that the more lightness we can find in our movement on our mats, the less certain we are of form and more we allow the body it’s own beautiful expression, the more too our lives will be shaped by that lightness.
Enjoy the squeeze of the dark moon and her insights, and the new moon lightness that should follow…
xx
Having a float!
I went for a float on Sunday. I’d been told about float rooms a few years ago from a friend who swore by floating, finding it both extremely relaxing and enlightening, so it’d been on my mind. I’d heard along the grapevine that one had opened on Guernsey but I hadn’t gotten as far as booking in.
Then a pregnant friend mentioned she’d been and knowing we share a mutual love of baths she suggested that I go along and give it a try. So I did! And I have to say it was a really enjoyable, relaxing and, to a certain extent, enlightening experience.
I wasn’t sure what to expect, and was pleasantly surprised to find a very welcoming Dave and a very clean room with a lovely energy, safe and protected from the outside world!
Dave explained the process, how he would leave me on my own in the secure space so I could undress (you can wear a bather if you choose), put in the ear plugs before showering using products provided (faith in nature) and applying Vaseline to any open cuts (as these would sting otherwise!). I was then to ease myself directly from the shower into the float tank, which is little more like a wide and shallow bath, not the tank I had in mind fortunately! It has an emergency button if you need help at any point!
The room was dimply lit and I chose ‘ocean wave’ music to be played gently in the background throughout the session. Dave had warned me that initially some of his friends had experienced a sore neck after floating as they had been unable to fully relax their neck and let their head be held by the extremely high salt content of the tank (dead sea salts from Israel), which enabled the body to float.
I’m pleased he had warned me of this because I quickly noticed that I was unable to relax my neck, there was something within me stopping me doing it. I tried to talk myself into it, asking my neck to relax but for some reason, it was holding on tight. It made no sense because I could feel that the salt content was holding me afloat, my head was not dropping backwards into the water, but nonetheless my neck was holding on tightly to something that it wouldn’t let go.
Fortunately there is a plastic pillow of sorts that you can use, to rest the back of your head, so I grabbed this and placed it behind my head. It made a huge difference for me, for some strange reason I was able to relax my neck knowing that there was something contacting the back of my head, even though it was the salt holding this, as it would have held my head too, if my neck had allowed it!
With my neck finally relaxing, I felt as if the whole of me might now relax too, but all of a sudden there was a momentary panic as I questioned what exactly I might now do for the remaining 55 minutes of the session. I might well practice yoga and meditate a couple of times a day, plus practise some yoga nidra a few times each week, but I don’t often (never) lie down for a whole 60 minutes unless I am also reading in bed at the same time.
I thought maybe I might think about a few things, process some stuff which has been playing on my mind, but amazingly the combination of the salted water and the sensation of lying, let alone the ocean sounds and the dim light meant that I was incapable of holding a stream of thought, and the effort to think became too effortful and with that I drifted into that beautiful liminal space where you are neither here nor there and time passes quickly, too quickly in this case!
I felt my body move at times, as if I was jolted awake momentarily, perhaps a twitch or a release, and then I drifted back into that restful space where – I believe - healing takes place. It reminded me of Reiki, where you just drift off to this other place and before you know it the session is over.
Lo and behold before too long, the air con kicked in again and a waft of cooler air blew into the room, while the star-studded lights above the tank turned on once more, only gently, but enough for me to know that the session had ended. I scraped the salt off my skin and as much as I could off my hair, as requested by Dave, before stepping out of the tank and back into the shower to shower off once again.
After dressing and removing the ear plugs, I joined Dave in the reception area to pay him and to share my experiences. While he was probably keen for me to leave and let him get on with his day he didn’t show it and was extremely welcoming and giving of his time. I wondered if I might have been better driving, but fortunately the rain held off as I cycled back home, grateful in many respects for the fresh air and opportunity to wake myself a little before the boys joined me that afternoon.
When they did join me I became very aware how much my ears were tested by their noise. My boys are noisy and I do sometimes struggle with this, but I hadn’t realised the extent to which noise generally bothers my ears and how desperate a part of me was for peace and space. I didn’t get it of course, such is the reality of family life, and I felt on edge and aggravated by it to the extent that after dinner, and with my mother in law helping E, I was able to escape to our room where I promptly burst into tears.
I couldn’t stop once I had started, this endless stream of watery release, which I think was the result of something unearthed from my neck during the float. Perhaps it was also the release of something touched in a distance ki massage session with my shadow worker Jo just a few days previous to that, which had taken me to the criss-cross of a few layers beginning to reveal themselves from the shadows, as if this was all timed perfectly, the float facilitating the release.
It continued the next morning too, the tears just coming without any angst or emotion attached to them, just a release. My neck was a little achy and I was curious about this. In my yoga practice I really focused on my neck and I noticed, when I was lying on my mat at the beginning of the session, how I was unintentionally holding on in my neck. I had never noticed it previously because it was obviously my norm, but now I could see how there was just this subtle holding of my head and inability to totally surrender the weight of it to the floor.
So I settled into that and noticed how my softening and letting go softened my throat and changed my breathing, so it was more relaxed somehow. I couldn’t quite believe how I had allowed that pattern to be there for all these years, this need to somehow protect the vulnerability of the neck and it’s place there between the head and the heart, not able to fully surrender the head and all this emotional holding, a lot of misguided guilt and an inability to allow the heart to flow up and out, to fully express itself in the world.
A few days on and the emotions have settled. It took me completely by surprise and I am grateful to the float for being a conduit for the release that it brought. I’m really keen to return again, they offer a three-session deal, which sounds great, albeit my one session did the trick. I’ve been feeling calmer since, and curious too, to learn more of the tension I’m holding and what underlies that, just as I’m curious to find out what will come of the additional freedom now in my neck!
It’s funny how the releases come in their way, how things can be divinely orchestrated, to an agenda that we’re created and yet has some magical input into it too. I always find this place a little uncomfortable though, the neither here nor there as things settle after any letting go, but I trust that it is for the greater good, that the change will come when the timing is right and that there is a bigger picture to all of this. My advice – go for a float!
** It’s now six days after the float and a few days since writing that blog post and the whirlwind which it brought with the release has now settled, and I recognise the role it played in helping me to surrender and let go of a limiting belief that has been bothering me since March now. With that much needed clarity after months of not being able to ‘see’ clearly. It’s powerful stuff that floating!
If you know you have something to release but you don’t know what it is, or you feel stuck in your life, not sure which way to go, lacking clarity and a little confused, then go for a float. If the body is holding on tightly, then go for a float. If you need some time out, some peace and some space to just be, then go for a float. I cannot tell you what an incredible conduit it is for letting go and just being…
Love Emma x
P.S. You’ll need to go look on Facebook, it’s called The Float Room, a friend sent me details, the email is info@thefloatroom.gg