Magical Sark!

Well that was an utterly magical retreat. The weather was extremely kind to us, but so was Sark generally. it really is a sacred isle and the most perfect place to retreat.

When I wasn’t teaching I was off exploring Sark’s neolithic landscape with a friend who is as obsessed by stones as I. We had a great time finding the remains of dolmens and costs and generally absorbing the sacred energy. This to the extent that the only photos I took all weekend were of the sun, the moon and stones! Katie fortunately took a few more and you should be able to see these on the Facebook page.

Sark has a very special place in my heart and I am always grateful to those who come and retreat with me and open themselves up to all that Sark has to offer them. It is a really healing place that connects us back to nature in so many ways, not least in accessing more of our own nature, but just in slowing down and imbuing a gentler pace that positively impacts our resonance and is a truly tonic for the soul. Practising yoga here is a dream as we can drop deeper more easily, or so it seems to me…an ideal place for a yoga retreat!

I always return from Sark sad to have left but uplifted by its high energy and sacredness, and resolute to return as soon as I can! Fortunately we’re back again in six weeks for the next retreat and I cannot wait. I think there might be a few last minute places available if any one is tempted to join us, you’ll have to email Katie at admin@beinspiredby.co.uk for the details.

Have a lovely week on the waning moon. I’m curious to see what the new moon is bringing us this Saturday, more on that when its clearer.

Thank you Sark, and thank you to those who ventured with me this weekend, you made another dream come true and I am very grateful to you for helping with that.

Love Emma xx

Glorious Sark

Peace! That’s the only word I can use to describe how it feels to be here on Sark. Not least because this is the first retreat where I haven’t brought the family with me, that’s eight years of retreating now with the family, so it’s really rather a novelty. But also because this Island is magical and wonderful and has retained some of the old energy of peace before all the cars and the noise and the hustle and bustle of over development on Guernsey at least.

I really hope that Sark retains its mystical charm, because there are not many places in this world where you can merge with nature quite like you can here. The land is vibrant, potent and awe-inspiring. I literally stood outside in the dark last night, over on Little Sark, jaw open, taking in the wonder of this magical place. It always feels to me that you go to another land when you cross that causeway, it’s one of the most wonderful feelings in the world.

This morning the island is awash in the glow of the red sunrise, and the waning moon, a little way off. There’s no noise - no children, no devices, no radio, none of the normal noise that awaits me each morning, that is the noise of a family, which is ever so lovely, but my ears are grateful for the respite and my attention can be less scattered!

We have a day of Sark ahead, yoga and later, Kirtan with Katie, Chi Gong with Caragh and a plethora of options for walks, sea swims, chocolate making, chilling out at Stocks, general pottering, and just being held by this beautiful island with all its spring joyfulness and beauty and these amazing skies!

Happy weekend!

Love Emma x

Enough with the enhanced measures in schools!

This is a quick rant really as I should be packing for Sark but it’s been bothering me all day that there’s such nonsense going on in our schools at the moment with all the enhanced measures and this causing yet more anxiety for some children.

I do appreciate that there are mixed views on this and because my and my family’s experience of Covid has been mild that this may cloud my perception, when there are others who may suffer a little but more with it, but all I see is more harm being done than good.

Admittedly with his bigger brother being at home it is always going to be a touch challenging for Eben to get to school but since the enhanced measures have been implemented he has been home more than he’s been in school simply because we cannot get him there. He is very wilful and will not put on his uniform and will not make it through the door. In fairness we did get him to school the other day, but he refused to change into his uniform until he was in the school building and it was quite clear that he was staying at school and not coming home with us again.

It all felt a bit wrong to me, and a bit deja vu too, of encouraging a child to school and into an environment which I don’t agree with, simply because of the measures that make it difficult for a child to read a teacher’s face or receive the reassurance of a smile. I do wonder what world we think we are creating where the subtleties of facial communication are thwarted because of having to wear a ridiculous face mask. There is more to communication than words alone, in fact words are only a small part of how we actually communicate.

This too is half the problem because children are not stupid and they can pick up on the changing energy and the additional stress that teachers and learning support are under, having to implement all these measures and when they too - on the whole - have tired of mask wearing. I’m in awe that two years into this almost and more of them have not left the profession.

Children can’t leave so easily although I’ve a feeling many might. I have had mothers complain about the prisons that their children are now kept in devoid of fun and play. Certainly children’s freedom has been taken away which seems so discriminatory because adults can still carry on as usual…

I have signed the local petition and i would urge you to do the same if you feel the same way as me, the link is on teh Facebook page. I have also written to Education, Sport and Culture to voice my perspective on this because I feel I would be doing my children an injustice if I didn't say something.

The cynic in me feels they brought these enhanced measures in as a build up to launching the children’s vaccination programme, but that could well have just been coincidence. I really have no opinion on the vaccine other than I won’t be taking it up for my own children, they barely knew they had Covid and I value their immune systems, but we will each have our differing perspective.

I’m just concerned about this generation we are creating, filled with fear about a virus (let alone going to war) and what this will do to them in the future. We are told that children are resilient but they’re not as resilient as people like to think they are, ask any child psychologist or worker who specialises in trauma. Children are easily traumatised and while the effect may not be obvious initially, by teenage years they may well start to manifest. It’ll be interesting to see what the governments have created in their response to Covid and the impact this has had one children’s wellbeing and anxiety levels.

Certainly Eben’s displaying noticeable separation anxiety again, which is such a shame as we had managed to manage this to the extent that he was happy gong to school and even staying for lunch. Children need stability and it hasn't been stable, simply a change in teacher will throw him and that’s not helped recently, albeit beyond anyone’s control. But that which can be controlled should be managed in a different way to the one chosen. The horse has already bolted…even my dad’s doctor thinks face masks are doing more harm than good.

There we go. Rant over. Packing can no longer be delayed!

Let’s hope common sense and HEART prevail soon and those in power realise that their approach is not helpful to many children.

Love Emma x

Happy Ostara!

Well the Equinox has been and gone with a wonderful sunrise one direction and moon set the other, it was a rather marvellous moment of aliveness, reminding me of the balance of the masculine and feminine energies inherent in this world - moon is feminine and sun is masculine.

Now the sun gains in strength and what beautiful weather we have here on Guernsey as the light floods in. Mind you, I’m not sure we’re quite there on a spiritual flooding level just yet, despite what others may say. There are still a few challenges to overcome and a bit of squeezing going on. But at least we’ve more daylight to get out and enjoy ourselves, and make the most of the spring time energy of new beginnings, even if we’re not yet quite sure what that yet means.

The theme of balance stays in the air. We had a very wobbly balancing session at class on Monday, slightly better on Tuesday highlighting to me that collectively we’re still all a bit all over the place, so to speak. Maybe this is reflective of the new not yet come in and us not being sure which way to turn. It will become clearer. and I’m certainly looking forward to immersing myself in Sark’s energy this weekend and just getting away from it all so that it literally becomes clearer!

I did laugh to myself yesterday, about balance and how we perceive the world. I was cycling the boys home from the reservoir where we’d been playing around the bridge, this after a morning spent at the amazing Silbie nature reserve, and I was commenting on how joyful it felt to be on the bike breathing in the fresh air and all around us the spring flowers. Elijah, who was sitting behind me, pipped up with “Well I’d rather be in a Range Rover with my head in a screen”. I couldn’t help laughing. Here I am trying to promote a simple approach to life, with greater respect and reverence for Planet Earth and there he is car and screen mad!

It reminded me though that there is balance to everything, even that. Balance too in the way that we relate to ourselves and our inner commentary. I have been doing a Tantric course, which has been encouraging us attendees to notice the way that we talk to ourselves and this has been really interesting, sometimes we don’t realise the subtleties of how much we might talk negatively to ourselves, giving ourselves a hard time for our perceived short comings, and forgetting to congratulate ourselves for all our positive attributes and the way we have created our world.

Meanwhile I am trying to create greater balance in my world and I taught my last Monday class for about 10 years now. I don’t know where that time has gone! But what a change that class has seen over that time, building it up initially until there were over 40 people in the class for a while, to the extent that a few had to practice in the cupboard, this when I was massively into vinyasa yoga and my ego thrived on the attendance figures, and then Covid came and changed everything, especially my relationship to yoga, and I had to overcome so much of my insecurity to teach from my heart and not from ego demands of attendance figures validating my self worth, and/or monetary gain for various reasons.

I was studying the Bhagavad Gita yesterday with my philosophy teacher and it is interesting, because we’re at the third definition of yoga, which builds on the other two and so thus far we have:

1. Yoga is eveness/equanimity of mind, achieving a certain stability of mind.

2. Yoga is skilfulness in action, and this is dependant on the first definition.

3. Yoga is the renunciation of selfish purpose. This means that the actions are not motivated by selfish purpose.

I guess this is something we all learn with time. Re-orientating our motivation away from the need to fulfil some selfish gain, whether that be to feed our inherent insecurity or need for validation of worth, or for material gain for the sake of it, or greed, or to grasp onto something and to something much deeper, meaningful and magical than this. It’s never easy. We have to be very honest with ourselves and I have blogged about that recently too.

This is a continuous readjustment and recognition of where we are within ourselves and what it is we are trying to create and yet doing so without becoming attached to it, or grasping for it, or even wanting it, never easy. At the end of the day though, it becomes less about the superficial and what it looks like, but much more about how it feels on the inside, which is in contrast to our societal conditioning about outward appearances and the notion of success and happiness.

As with everything, we come back to balance and finding greater balance within ourselves, the dance of the divine masculine and feminine and embracing all aspects to self, including the parts we don’t like. So in many respects it is indeed a process of reclamation, reclaiming all our fragmented parts and becoming whole again. I write about this more in my new book, which is still in the proof reading stages, which I’m totally OK with now - years ago I would have been massively trying to control it, attached to the outcome, but now, well, it’s all part of the process and will find its own timing if it is indeed meant to be out in the world. Sometimes it’s enough just to create for the sake of creating…

Creating is truly in the air. Springtime. New beginnings. Ostara. Where all is vibrant. But we need to be gentle with ourselves. Playing with new ideas as they arise, watching where we cling to the past for security and safety and hear ourselves talking about going back…this is a time to spring forward, even time is springing forward this Sunday and so must we too, into more of who we truly are, beyond all the masks and social conditioning. It’s certainly a time to do away with the masks here on Guernsey and especially in schools, but maybe I’ll rant about that another time!

Enjoy all the newness and loveliness and if you do fancy a last minute break to Sark, then we do have a few places due to Covid casualties, so please do get in touch. Enjoy the sun!

Happy Ostara!

Love Emma x

Happy full moon!

Happy full moon everyone! It’s almost peaking…

The message has become clearer, for us women anyway, there is a theme of it being about us individually, going deeper, with love and respect and healing our wounds and loving and nurturing ourselves.

This is a big shift for us all this weekend, and if there is anything we still need to let go of, then today is the day to do it, tomorrow too if necessary.

I’ve been taken on a bit of an inner journey and it’s all become clearer where this was headed, towards greater self love and acceptance, so that we can be less burdened by our past. Clear about our yes and no and the values we have for our self and ensuring these are lived and indeed met.

The only person who can meet our needs is us each individually. This can be a bitter pill to swallow, especially if we are still stuck in the victim mind-set of blaming our parents for not having met our needs…they’ll never meet our needs. Not because they didn’t want to, but because they couldn’t, and that’s OK. very few of us were seen and heard in the way we craved. This is OK too. Once we accept this, it can be extremely liberating.

It does mean however that we have to step up though, and take care of our own needs, releasing ourselves from our victimhood of waiting for someone else to do it for us. Another person will not make us whole and to seek a partner for this reason merely feeds more of the illusion and keeps us trapped in the old paradigm of it all being outside ourselves. It isn’t. It’s in us.

Only we can love ourselves in the way we truly need and only we can make ourselves feel whole as we connect the self and Self. It’s not easy, which is the reason so many look outside of themselves for it and blame their parents, because this enables them to not step up and stay stuck instead - “it’s not my fault I cannot make my life work, this happened to me and ….’. Yep. Stuff happens. But at some point we have to find the courage to let it go and move on.

The trouble is, we’re scared of our power and our magnificence. We’re scared to be all of who w are because of our inherent fear of rejection, of being criticised, of not being accepted. But the thing is, if WE have accepted OURSELVES, it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or says, because they’re opinion is merely that, an opinion, and opinions change. Why spend our whole life playing it small because we’re worried about what others think of us. Life is way too short.

This brings us back to the inner world, to bolster any fragile sense of self, any insecurity we have about who we are and what we are here to offer the world. but actually it’s more than that and it’s actually very simple, it’s about loving ourself. Looking in the mirror and being contented. Of seeing our naked form and accepting it. Of letting go of all the subtle and not so subtle negative self-chatter and laughing in the face of it. This is love and this is freedom and THIS is what the moon is bringing…the opportunity for greater freedom.

With that comes playfulness and prettiness, and just having a good old laugh. It can become a bit too serious on this spiritually-orientated path, we can take ourselves way too seriously. The moon wants spontaneity and fun, lighthearted and joyful dancing and an opportunity to soak in the moon’s healing and calming rays and just be.

Enjoy every single minute of it!

Enjoy the robin!

Love Emma xxx

The cross-road of truth

What a beautiful day here on Guernsey, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and we are only days away now from the Virgo full moon, also known as the worm moon, and a few days after that, the Spring Equinox. There is a lot to be grateful about and I am digging deep into that, and into practice, because the universe is has been challenging and squeezing each of us!

It’s not been an easy year thus far. Many of us have been navigating changes in our lives, if not jobs, or maybe jobs too, then our relationship to self and to others as a result of this. Sometimes we just grow apart from each other, this is the way of the soul, and while there can be sadness and grief for the broken dreams, there is also much to celebrate if we can navigate this consciously and with heart. Sometimes the greatest gift we can set ourselves and indeed others, is the gift of freedom.

If life is not aligned, then we have to make changes, at least if we hope to find greater peace and contentment. And let’s be honest, if there is one thing the world needs now, then it is greater contentment and peace, which means we all need to start seeing a little but through the illusion, not least in the outer world of politics and materialism but in the inner world too.

E and I have been navigating the growing apart of souls as consciously as we can. We both love and respect each other and have two beautiful boys together. So really not much changes in our day to day living, we co=parent, co-habit, are really good friends, but romantically and emotionally there is greater freedom. This for me (and I’m sure for him too) is a cause of celebration. I haven’t ever wanted to live a unlived life, or to sell out on myself, just for the sake of. [With all the best respect and love, please no emails of sadness or support, it’s a really positive thing!].

There are many others navigating this exact situation. March 2020 began a process which has changed our lives individually and collectively in more ways than we could ever have imagined. There’s not one part of my life, as we approach this March full moon, that remains the same. Life has changed and while it’s not been easy - in fact it has been really difficult at times - there is greater self love, worth and acceptance and much deeper honesty and knowing of thyself.

It’s this that has struck me the most. Some of you were at a Sunday morning Yoni Shakti : Embracing our Creativity session when my life was undergoing some further unravelling, my heart was extremely heavy and my throat was really struggling, simply because I was still coming to terms and voicing that which I had been ignoring. We do a really good job at convincing ourselves that we are living from our heart, being honest with ourselves and speaking our truth, but this is actually a lot tricker in reality than in our mind.

I had been ignoring my heart for a very long time, compromising on my needs because I was so desperate for my dream. This became increasingly obvious over the last year as last March the equinox brought a big shift in awareness for me. But even then, I was so used to all I was feeling that it had become normal to me. I thought I was listening to my heart, and in many respects I was, just that I wasn’t always being honest with myself about how I was feeling, let alone anyone else.

Marie dying, opened my heart in innumerable ways so i could no longer ignore it. It was all there but it took time to unravel what I was feeling from the enormous grief, not least of her loss, but of the loss of part of myself, and the drifting of time and the increased lack of deeper connection and dreaming. There was an emptiness that accompanies grief. Grieving for broken dreams and the emptiness this creates, in the vastness of not knowing what’s next and also wondering how one can have kidded oneself otherwise.

However it is one thing finally listening to the heart and all it is saying and quite another finding the strength and courage of heart and indeed one’s voice to then express what needs to be said. So much of my life has been punctuated by an inability to give voice to what I am feeling and instead, to go along with things for fear of upsetting someone else or creating confrontation, or in any way challenging a view point. Sometimes it has felt easier to go along with things than voice my own truth, compromising on my soul and my innate nature and values instead.

I go into this in more detail in my book From Darkness Comes Light (in proof reading stage now!) about finding our voice, and especially in intimate relationships. It’s something that came up on a Tantric course I’m currently attending, around saying yes or saying no. There have been times when I have sold out on my body and my soul because I couldn’t find the words to say no, even if this has been in safe and loving relationships.

Others have had similar experiences, and it was proposed that silence doesn't mean ‘yes’ either. But then equally, it doesn’t mean ‘no’. Ultimately, and certainly from a consensual basis, we need to know our ‘yes’ before we can know our ‘no’. And we need - on some level - to know ourselves and our wants and our needs beyond what society tells us and the expecatation laid down for us - patriarchy did a really good job at making us women feel that we have to be there for the men…but that’s a whole other story that I could waffle on about for a long time, and men will have their take too as it has done them no favours either, taken away some of their soul.

Ok, ok, I’m going to have to quote from Glennie Kindred’s book, Sacred Earth Celebrations, about this, given that it’s all about the Spring equinox, so timely:

“Many women are now seeking to balance their male and female sides within themselves and are looking for the same balance in men. the ardent young man, who is non-aggressive, in touch with his instincts and can show his feelings, is a precious image to hold. The Greeks gave us Pan with horns, and hooves, part man, part animal. The Celts gave us Cernunnos or Herne, also with horns, in touch with his animal instincts, wise, magical, the master of the three levels of existence, playful, sexual, sensuous, spiritual. He was outlawed by the church, who changed him into the devil, the root of all evil, thereby denying men an essential part of themselves. We need to reclaim him. Women need to find him in the men they know. Here lies the spark, the power in their joining and their joint potential that will change the future”.

It’s good stuff. But back to where I was…When I delved deeper into the inability at times to say no, as part of my journey to greater authenticity and deeper understanding of what has happened previously and the patterns laid, I did discover that this inability has stemmed from the fear of hurting someone else and denying them what they wanted, even if it’s not entirely what I might have wanted. I realised how easily I had compromised my truth and my needs in the process, putting others’ needs first, perhaps reflecting at that time, my lack of self worth and self respect.

Lack of self-worth and self-respect is such an underlying factor to all of this, not least in who we attract into our lives but the dynamics of our relationships. When we begin to reclaim more of ourself and our inherent worth, then this can create a shift in resonance, not only because our vibration has literally changed, but because, or maybe as a result of this, we see the world and ourselves differently. Once our eyes and our hearts have been opened to a new way of being and relating, then we have no choice really, but to keep moving forwards.

Many will struggle with this though, because it can be a deeply uncomfortable process, and there is a certain comfort that comes from the certainty of a relationship lived, even if that relationship is not healthy, or has by then been outgrown. Many will numb themselves, drink more wine, keep really busy, go away lots, work longer hours, there are all sorts of ways that we can distract ourselves from our reality and convince ourselves that all is well, that we are living the dream, that our lives look the way we want them to look, to confirm, or to otherwise appear OK.

There is a fear that comes with stepping into the unknown, into a life that has not yet been lived, and to do that alone, or at least alone in the sense of deeper connection to one’s own heart and soul, honouring them both, being increasingly honest, able to say both ‘yes’ and ‘no’ in a way that honours the inner knowing. The universe is challenging us all on this, asking us to go deeper. Do we give up now?

I can see the theme bubbling through. We are at a cross-roads. We have been prepared. I have said for a while now that the equinox will be a turning point for us and I still feel that to be true. We are being squeezed and pushed to see if we can stand our ground, be in our centre and stay true to our inner knowing and wisdom. The universe will continue to challenge us because that is how we grow. Opportunities will come to us to see which way we’ll turn, back to what is known and mainstream, feeding more of what has already happened and will continue to happen unless we find another way.

The other way has not been lived, so it involves a leap of faith and a stepping into the unknown. The virgo full moon is creating confusion, because the virgo energy is one of practicality, organisation and detail. We can find ourselves getting lost in all this, trying to work it out mentally, stuck in the mind, rather than feeling and trusting into the heart and the deeper truth of how we want to live our lives and the world we are trying to create, not least for ourselves, but for our children too - one of greater simplicity, harmony and ease.

There was a moment where I couldn’t see the wood through the trees, and this brought with it deep confusion and frustration, causing me to find a sacred space out on the land to surrender to it. The surrendering is never easy, always there is an inner battle between head and heart. The ego has to let go, but the ego hates letting go and being annihilated in the process, it likes to cling on to all that is safe and known. It’s a tricky process to navigate but the full moon and equinox energy are demanding it and we will always feel better for it - it is the journey of the spiritual warrior!

There’s a wonderful quote that fits here that I stumbled across earlier in A book called Buddha’s Brain”

“On the path of awakening, it’s natural to experience some upheaval, dark nights of the soul, or unnerving groundlessness the the foundation of old beliefs falls away. At these times your refuge will catch you and help you ride out the storm”.

So if you find yourself having a momentary dark night of the soul, know that it is momentary, if you can find the space to literally sit with it and let it move through you - we’re in a time of greater truth, of seeing through more of the illusion and opening to greater love. On my way home, I was reminded of Rumi’s poem, The Guest House. This is what this full moon/equinox combo is doing, it’s, in theory, clearing us out for some new delight, and helping us to see and hear more of our own truth and live it - one of increased simplicity and love. Here’s the poem, one can never read it enough!

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

​Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

​I’m looking forward to all that this weekend brings, not least the full moon and the Equinox, but the yoni yoga session to tap into all this and the crystal course too. The Sark Spring retreat is well timed too, on the wane as we settle into a gentler energy, and with us springing forward time wise and bringing even more light into our lives. We do still have a few spaces available on all of the retreat and on all the courses (actually not the crystal one, that’s fully booked but there will be another one on 7 May, foundation and intermediate so please do look out).

I’m also looking forward to the new way not yet lived. This is a time for celebration, to feel genuine gratitude for all that we have in our lives and to acknowledge how far we have come. This is not a time to give up however much we are being squeezed and challenged. If we are being truly honest with ourselves, with our heart, then we will know when the time is right to take the leap and it will be a leap that simplifies our lives and eases stress and brings with it greater peace and contentment. It is coming, but we’re not quite there just yet…patience…enjoy all that Spring has to offer us, its new beginnings are very real.

Love Emma x

Another little Mummy and Elijah pilgrimage...

Sunset up Glastonbury Tor

Elijah and I have just returned from an AMAZING adventure to Avebury and onwards to Glastonbury, returning again to Stanton Drew and Stonehenge. I can’t get enough of these places, the land is alive and vibrant and there is always a lesson to learn.

We learned many lessons at Avebury, the largest stone circle in Britain, with about 100 stones and includes two smaller stone circles contained within the main one! The henge survives as a huge circular bank and ditch, encircling an area that actually includes part of Avebury village. It’s a very sacred landscape and includes a number of other notable sites including West Kennet Long Barrow (reminding me of Dehus in Guernsey), the Sanctuary (once trees planted in a particular way, now just posts representing where they were), Silbury Hill (this huge man-mad mound, quite mysterious) and the wonderful Swallowhead Spring.

We started out at Adam and Eve, a cove on the outskirts, and little did I realise that this would begin a process of sorts. I had been feeling unusually anxious all morning, we’d had to swap hire cars as the first one didn’t have SatNav and Elijah wanted SatNav, but even with the SatNav, I kept struggling to keep with the directions, so it took us longer than it should have done to arrive at Avebury, but I later realised that this was all part of the process.

Adam and Eve at Avebury

It was at the cove, I realised that I had forgotten to bring my phone charger with me and the battery of my phone is currently dying. I am on a cusp with the phone, I don’t like what phones have done to our society and how they are such an incredible distraction from being here now. I also don’t like the impact they have on my energy and 4G and WIFI flying about. So I have been contemplating ditching the phone, but felt decidedly vulnerable being in the UK and potentially not having a phone simply because of not being able to charge it. I would later discover that this was all part of the process too.

It was bitterly cold as we set out to Silbury Hill, following the muddy path all away around this incredible mound, and while it is amazing, I found it difficult to truly tune in due to the noise of all the passing cars on the A4. Like phones, I have a disdain for cars too and all they have done to the land, covering so much of it in tarmac and ugliness. And while I appreciate that they are a necessary evil I just can’t get excited about them, and even less so because of the noise they create. This would all play into the process too.

Silbury Hill - man-made!

We crossed the A4 and headed up to West Kennet Long Barrow, free from the dreaded car! This place reminds me of Dehus in Guernsey, it contains 4 smaller chambers and one larger one, each has a different frequency vibration and is aligned to musical notes. We had the place to ourselves initially, and so I was able to tune in more easily, were it not for Elijah’s hangry outburst! He gets very angry when he’s hungry and so we didn’t stay as long as I might have stayed on my own, but this is always the compromise visiting these places with children!

West Kennet long barrow - not so noise up here, but very cold!

We met some lovely people, and were directed to Marlborough for a phone charger, but prior to then I was keen to get to the Swallowhead Spring, which no one could direct me to, but we found it by intuition anyway. I LOVE springs. They are magical places of water sprites and other elemental water beings and wonderful for us pitta people, in calming our energy. We had a laugh here too, not least on the cute stepping stones but also with Elijah losing his crocs in the clay and having to scramble across a dodgy wooden gate to make it across a faster flowing stream.

Swallowhead spring

Then the test came. Driving into Marlborough to find a phone charger, the car started showing amber warning lights and telling me that I basically needed to park up and seek assistance. To say I went into stress mode is an understatement, this was Saturday lunchtime and the market town of Marlborough was busy and it took a while to find parking, but as luck had it I found a space (thank you magic parking fairies) in just the right place, near a shop selling chargers and a cafe where I could charge my phone and call the various helpline numbers provided by the hire car company.

But alas here the lesson. Not one of the numbers allowed me to access a real human person. In fact the offices were closed, so any break down or emergency was basically going to have to wait until Monday! I couldn’t believe it! I called for help from Ewan and my Dad back in Guernsey, because I was struggling to access the internet to look at the hire car company website for any other number, but alas even those provided just didn’t work!

Crossing the stream

Ewan suggested I call the AA but unless the matter is of upmost emergency (i.e. you’re broken down by the side of a dangerous road) you have to register your issue online! Online! Out and about, I’m not able to get online with my phone. Furthermore, I was warned that there are high call volumes and a long wait. Dad suggested counting a local garage, but where to begin? I’m unfamiliar with the area, and again, I was struggling to get online to search for someone.

So I sat there collecting myself, in major stress response at that point, face flushed, and Elijah anxious, worrying about the car I questioned my stress and realised it was more so about being out of control. I felt totally out of control. I was also agitated because my plans were being thrown and I questioned our flow and whether this trip was divinely supported after all.

Then I realised that the only option was to give the situation Reiki and let go of my plans. If we didn’t make it to Glastonbury then so be it, maybe it simply wasn’t meant to be. If we had to stay in Avebury all weekend then maybe this was how it was meant to be. Basically I let go of trying to control the weekend, and sent out a prayer for help and more Reiki to the situation. I realised we had little choice but to return to the car and see what happened next.

Needless to say after the letting go, the car behaved itself. No more warnings, and we headed back to Avebury with a huge lesson learned. Not least to let go of trying to be in control, but of seeing through the illusion of the phone - that even though it might have given me a false notion of being in control, really it offered zero help and absolutely no support. It is indeed a false notion that it helps us so - other people help and we help ourselves. But really what really helps iis digging deeper into spirit and letting the divine take the lead.

I was also reminded that it’s a dog eat dog world, and to expect anything of this is ridiculous, it simply cannot help, it’s not designed to help, it’s designed to keep us stuck in fear, so that we spend more money and waste more energy trying to stay in control of things in our effort to keep ourselves safe. A phone does not make us safe. It just gives the idea that it might help us feel safe. Safety comes from a deeper aspect of self, and is one of trust and faith. Lesson learned, and I left the phone in the car for most of the rest of the weekend, bar taking photos…

At Avebury

Avebury is amazing. I found it initially disorientating as cars drive through the middle of it. But the place is still very alive and attracts a lot of people, who might not know the reason they are visiting, but undoubtably leave feeing better for it. This was actually the first neolithic place I visited back in 2007, quite by chance, as a pit stop on the way back to the boat from doing the Three Peaks challenge for the Lihou Trust all those years ago. Richard Curtis introduced it to me and little did I know that it would lead me to a deep love and passion of these ancient stones and their energy.

There is another cove here (other than Adam and Eve), in the middle of one of the smaller circles. I love coves. Its a term used to describe a tightly concentrated group of large standing stones and they have a certain energy to them. I have begun to notice commonalities amongst them. I feel they are gateways setting in motion a certain experience depending on the place and what is needed, spiritually, at that time. The one at Stanton Drew is especially lovely.

Out the White Spring, and collecting our iron and calcium water - the red and white springs!

Glastonbury was as wonderful as ever, and we totally flowed with it. I dipped twice in the White Spring, met a lovely Welsh man who makes the most incredible healing wands and staffs from both wood and metal, he even gifted Elijah a wooden wand to help inspire him on his whittling journey, this with a rune inscribed too. We enjoyed the crystals shops as always, and meandering around the town, familiar now with some of the locals, and up into the Goddess Temple, with Elijah’s interestingly-timed fart in the peace of the space as we made offerings to the Goddess!

Collecting iron water at the red spring from outside Chalice Wells

We spent time at the two play areas which Elijah loves and we timed our trip up the Tor for sunset, a first, we have never done that before. The town truly held us well. We even enjoyed some kirtan and hang drums outside the White Spring and Elijah dreamed of us getting a camper van and travelling around as some of the guys hanging around the White Spring are doing. We filled up on the red iron water and the white calcium water from the red and white springs, and we felt revived by the whole experience.

We drove up to Stanton Drew again one early morning. This was amazing. Last time it had been misty so I wasn’t able to see the surrounding landscape, but on this day it was bright and clear, albeit bitterly cold again. It was bitterly cold at Stonehenge the next day too and I realised the commonality, not least in the shape of the land, but in the way the bitter wind moves through it. But that aside, both are on stunning sites.

The cove at Stanton Drew

I felt sad at Stanton Drew last time but this time it just felt great, welcoming, happy and very alive. This is the third largest complex of prehistoric standing stones in England, with three circles and three-stone ‘cove’. The Great Circle, 113 metres in diameter, is one of the largest stone circles in the country and has 26 surviving upright stones and it is believed that is part of an elaborate and important ritual site.

We had the place to ourselves, which was especially lovely, so we lay out on the cold land staring at the clouds and wondering what the place looked like all those years before…hopefully we’ve brought some of its positive energy back to Guernsey.

Stonehenge!

Yesterday we made the obligatory trip to Stonehenge. I can’t resist it. It’s not cheap, £21.70 for an adult, which interested me. In Reiki we go through 21 days of cleansing, this after Dr Usui spent 21 days meditating and fasting to access the Reiki symbols and knowledge. Twenty one is the number of change, and I don’t believe you are ever the same after visiting Stonehenge. The seven too is interesting, we talk about this in Reiki, as Dr Usui went through seven years in the Beggar city learning many lessons, and then it was time to leave, lots happens in sevens - seven days of the week, seven colours of the rainbow, seven chakras, seven deadly sins, seven main metals, and on it goes, even the seven year itch!

Bit cold at Stonehenge!

Stonehenge is utterly magical. I can’t put it into words. You’ll have to go visit yourself. The place is very alive and very welcoming and stands majestically. Over a million people visit each year, it’s the most popular English Heritage site, and all those million taking some of its energy back home with them - it’s like a beacon that radiates outwards through each person who visits. You can stand close to it without actually paying to go in, but Elijah loves the bus and the exhibition is worth a look too.

The car!

The irony of the whole trip, was that as much as I was resistant to the car and phone, Elijah spent a lot of time photographing and filming the car and the dashboard and the other traffic passing by, because he is obsessed by cars and loves the phone! I’m back on the bike today and the phone is staying at home, we’ll se how long that lasts.

Thanks Lije for another wonderful trip!

Love Emma xxx

Choices and action

We managed to collect all that plastic from Saints beach Tuesday and Wednesday morning, washed up with the tide. We went down this morning but there was very little in comparison. This stuff - toothbrushes, vegan friendly make-up remover and urgh, horrible air freshener- were lost off a container during rough seas. Apparently no one is currently taking responsibility.

Mind you Elon Musk has a rocket spinning around in space, about to make contact with the moon, and as far as I am aware there is no repercussions on him for that. This is then age where we take zero responsibility for our actions and the effect they have on this planet and others. It’s such a shame that money and power are still more important than the quality of the air we breathe, the sea we swim in and the skies we look up into.

This whole episode has reminded me once again that we have to take individual responsibility regardless of the lack of responsibility shown by the corporations and supposed leaders of our time. if we turn our backs on throw away plastic and find other ways to clean our teeth, move our make-up and freshen the air, for example, then there is no need for all this plastic in the first place and if there is no demand for it, then there will be no corporations making it and selling it.

It’s us and our choices and actions that drives all of this. We can’t just keep living the way we’re living and expecting others to make the changes for us. Individually we need to become increasingly conscious of what we’re buying and how we’re therefore spending our money, and the implications this has for the planet. If we each make positive changes, then those positive changes will be felt by everyone. But as always it has to start with us.

We have to increasingly recognise that not everyone had our best interests at heart. There’s a lot of things being made and sold that are simply not needed in this world. But we buy them anyway, because they’re fashionable or the children love them, or they’re cheap or whatever it may be, but really, we just don’t need it.

I often look around the cottage and sigh at the amount of stuff we have that we just don’t need. Often a Reiki attunenment will bring on a clear out and I’m always grateful for this - as we go through an inner clear out, we often want to have an outer clear out too. One of my intentions is to increasingly simplify so that I own very little by way of material possessions. I’m trying to become increasingly conscious of what I’m buying and where it has come from and the implications this has more widely too.

I’m also trying these days to make what I can and buy in bulk where I can. Does mean the children go a little crazy when faced with kilo bags of dried mango and I have to hide them away so that they last out beyond a few weeks! It also means that I spend more time than I used to in the kitchen, this morning making gluten and dairy free pancakes for Eben while simultaneously making lavender deodorant! But i feel better for it. For at least trying.

But saying all that I’m still getting on a plane on Saturday…so that’s a few more trees that need planting. It’s always a work in progress, butI am conscious of it, did consider it, and at least we have been able to take the toothbrushes from the beach to the Animal Shelter where they will be put to good use. As for the other plastic, well at least it’s not resting on the sea bed and can be collected in our recycling this evening. Silver clouds and all!

At the end of the day we have free will and we have choice, how we action that choice is up to us. The Bhagavad Gita talks about this…what motivates our action? I’ve fond it a very interesting enquiry into my life generally, what motivates my choices and the decisions I am making, are they truly from the heart and for the planet and the bigger picture (thinking 7 generations away!), or are they for some selfish and short-term gain? More on that no doubt, another time!

Love Emma xx