Ibiza, the spiritual Isle

We have just returned from an amazing trip to Ibiza.  Wow, what an Island.  Funny as I never in a million years thought it was the kind of place that I would enjoy visiting as it has always conjured up images of twenty four seven partying - and that does happen on Ibiza, it is renowned for its clubbing scene after all - but it so much more than that.

We were blessed on this trip though really, with a fabulous apartment in a quiet area of the West coast overlooking the sea on one side and the hills on the other. We just loved it, I couldn't get enough of the views, waking up with the sea glistening at me through the window, just incredible.

The Island has a wonderfully chilled ambiance, with warm hearted locals who just couldn't do enough for us and simply adored Elijah, that little boy was very much fussed over, the ladies just couldn't help squeezing his chubby cheeks and stroking his legs - honestly if the world was full of ladies like this, then the world would be a much happier place!

Each day we ate the tastiest cherries and strawberries and the freshest of salads, enjoying the views from the balcony and introducing Elijah to his much loved sunflower seed Pipas (bread sticks) which he ate all by himself, this baby led weaning malarkey really taking off during the week. 

We relished the pool at the apartments, Ewan has been attending swimming lessons with Elijah so they practiced their kicky-kick-kick, while I made the most of the opportunity to indulge in two of my favoured past times - swimming and lying in the sun reading!  Well there are others of course, swimming in the sea, and we managed that every day too, always on a different beach.  Typically we found the most amazing beach we have come across for some time, a tip off from a local, the day before we were due to leave...always the way!!

I indulged in yoga too, but my gosh what a mission this was.  Still, as is always the case, attending drop-in yoga classes at different places around the world, always takes you off the beaten trail, which is one of the reasons Ewan is always so supportive of me getting to classes when we are away.  This was certainly no different in Ibiza just that we were beaten twice - we just could not find the yoga centres on the first try and I guess there is a reason for that!!

We did find the Pink Elephant - La Galerie Elefant - which was a lovely little studio in a quieter area of the Island and I enjoyed a class with Camille who was on a teacher training course and covering the class for the teacher trainer herself, Jacqueline, who I had hoped to meet as she is Jivamukti trained. Still I do believe we are led where we need to be and Camille is lovely and I enjoyed two classes with her.

On our last day we finally found The Garden of Joy, where Jacqueline is based and this was certainly inspiring, set in a truly beautiful area of the Island, with the beautiful local based beaches nearby and a lovely little town area down the road with a fabulous café where Ewan and Elijah chilled out while waiting for me after their walk up the hill!  How I long to immerse my soul once again in the yoga world like this, at one with nature and that wonderful yoga ambiance as I have done so many times before.  The energy is just so different back at home in Guernsey! 

There is no doubt that Ibiza is healing, regardless of what you are doing there, it just has that energy. It was really hot in the sun, upper twenties, early thirties but this helps to slow things down a little, and then with all that beautiful sunshine and the salty quality of the sea (I mean saltier than I am used to swimming in), let alone the pine trees and the 3rd most powerful magnetic rock in the world (we swam just in front of this), well it all helps to create some magic.  The trip was magic.  Life felt magic.  Faith restored.  Clarity experienced.  My heart felt alive again.  I hadn't realised how much my soul was yearning for this time.

And what a joy, such a joy, to spend time with Ewan and Elijah like this, to do our thing, to laugh, joke, have fun together, to dream, to dance, to watch sunset from Café del Mar, to drink wine and enjoy dinner, to play, to go with the flow and just be...to remind ourselves how life should be...love, love, love.

Thank you to everyone, all those lovely and wonderful Spanish people for sharing the love with us this last week.  And thank you to the angels for making our trip to special and at just the right time x

With love and gratitude.

xx

Thank you x

Phew, there is absolutely no letting up at the moment!  Those solar and lunar eclipses are certainly all playing their role in helping us to wake up and take note, appreciate the inter connected nature of this world and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

No more sitting back and thinking it is not our problem.  We are all part of the problem. Not that there is a problem necessarily, just that we can all make such a difference, if only we could be aware of it.

We raised £406.05 for the Safe Haven Cambodian charity in honour of that poor little Malaysian baby girl so cruelly abused by her mother and the video posted on facebook.  Why on earth that video is there is quite beyond me as the women has been charged and the baby is now in care, so it circulating the ether is doing no one any favours - although you could argue that if I had not have seen it, I would not have raised some money for the Safe Haven charity.  But still, on the whole I suspect it is simply creating more anger in this world.

I am quite sure people think me quite mad when I harp on about things like that, but honestly, our every action  has an impact, we are all so connected - think of a net connected by beads, well we are those beads and the way we act affects the thread connected to all those other beads, which therefore affects all those other beads.

There is this beautiful poem that I love to share:

Heartprints - author unknown

Whatever our hands touch,
We leave fingerprints,
On walls, on furniture,
On doorknobs, dishes, books.
There's no escape.
As we touch we leave our identity.

Wherever I go today
Help me leave heartprints.
Heartprints of compassion,
Of understanding and love.

Heartprints of kindness
And genuine concern.
May my heart touch a lonely neighbour,
Or a runaway daughter,
Or an anxious mother,
Or perhaps an aged grandfather.

Send me out today
To leave heartprints.
And if someone should say,
"I felt your touch",
May they also sense the love
That is deep within my heart".

We are off on holiday to Ibiza on Saturday, a much needed break to practice some yoga, swim in the sea, enjoy the sunshine, and be together as a family.

Share the love.

With much gratitude

xxxx

Going through the mill...

The last few weeks have been intense, a real emotional roller coaster of a ride, it is all these lunar and solar eclipses of late illuminating the path, making things clear, or clearer, and encouraging a movement forward and the stepping up of a gear.

Whatever the reason, while I still feel a little raw, I am quite sure it has all been for the greater purpose, and only good will come.  Or so I hope!!

Two weekends ago now I had two of those moments of realising how blessed we are to live on this tiny Island in the English Channel.  On the Friday early evening I went to Castle Cornet for a Folk and Fable evening as part of the Guernsey Literary Festival (what an incredible event) with Elijah to join friends and watch my favourite local bands, "The Recks" from Sark and "The Space Pirates of Rocquaine" from Guernsey.  The sun was shining, the castle was packed full of happy people, many of them my friends, and the music was good.  Elijah slept on me throughout both acts and I just thought it was one of those incredibly magical moments where everything conspires to great the perfect time.

On Sunday Ewan, his friend, Carl, who was visiting from France, Elijah and I went down to Petit Bot for a high tide morning swim.  It is the first time this year that again, everything conspired for a perfect time - the tide was really high, the seas was sparkling blue and dead calm, and the sun was shining brightly in the blue sky. Heaven.  We stayed in for a whole 4 minutes and I remember swimming around looking at the beauty of the shore and just thinking, "wow, I am so happy to be alive and so lucky to be alive here in Guernsey".  Blessed lives indeed.

Roll on a 4 days and we found ourselves in Jersey, where the weather was anything but lovely.  It was Thursday and I had two board meetings and so Ewan came over with Elijah so we could meet for feeding purposes between the meeting and then we had arranged to stay the night and catch up with my friend and Reiki master, Ally, and her husband for dinner.

The weather was wet and windy and fortunately the meetings took place quickly so that Ewan was not too exhausted by looking after Elijah on his own all day - our little man does not like to sleep very much and constantly needs to be occupied...a little like his Mum really!!  In any event that evening we met Ally and her husband and after a drink, we went to an Indian restaurant just near to our hotel.

I chose the seat I chose on the basis that I knew I would need to breastfeed and did not want to be too conspicuous.  Elijah was a little restless as we waited for our meal and I fed him twice, trying to get him to settle a little.  The restaurant became busier and noisier so eventually Ewan had to take Elijah outside as he was becoming noisier too!  I was so absorbed in spiritual chatter with Ally that I was completely unaware of those around me.

Anyhow a short while later, the lady at the table beside me stopped by me as she was leaving the restaurant and I must admit I was expecting her to make a favourable comment about Elijah, so I was totally thrown when she told me that I was a disgrace.  I had to ask her to repeat herself as these are not words I am used to hearing, but alas, yes, there it was again, I was a disgrace the manner in which I had breastfed my baby.  I was in shock!  Only a few months ago someone posted on the NCT facebook page that they had been told off in a café in Guernsey for breastfeeding and I remember being outraged and quite keen to join the group who would like to try and promote breastfeeding in Guernsey (we have one of the lowest incidences of women breastfeeding their babies, not helped when you are stigmatised for doing so).

I apologised as she started to walk on muttering about how she had nursed two babies and I was a disgrace in the way I nursed my own.  Ewan was holding Elijah and stood up as she passed to ask her what was the problem and she shouted at him to not have a go at her...which he wasn't...so the staff rushed over and I asked Ewan to sit down and leave it, which he did, and we smiled and laughed on, brave face and all, but underneath I was upset and angry.  In the whole six months I have been breastfeeding not once has anyone said anything negative to me about it. 

Of course I analysed it, perhaps I have gotten a little blasé, I mean a breast is a breast, just go and look in The Sun newspaper to see one of those every day, it doesn't seem like a big deal to me.  Of course when the dust has settled, all it has done is propel me forward to make a difference, get involved in the campaign, support women breastfeeding in public, what are we, still living in the dark ages? Interestingly there was an article in The Times on the Friday about the manner in which women are being demonised for breastfeeding in public and so many give up and use formula and a bottle instead.  In my opinion it is ridiculous, we have lost ourselves somewhere these days, as a society we really do need to wake up and figure out really what is important in this life.

On Friday we were fortunate to have a guided tour of Durrell's wildlife centre from a friend of a friend in Jersey.  Amazing.  I didn't really know much about Mr Durrell but they have a museum in his honour there now, wow, what an inspiring individual.  It touched me on many levels as I have been reading a fabulous book by Stephen Cope about Dharma - your life purpose.  Everyone has a purpose, some never really manage to connect with it, whole others, like Mr Durrell live it fully and are an inspiration to so many others.  He worked tirelessly to try to do his bit to make sure that animals do not become extinct.

I am never quite sure how to feel in these type of places, on the one hand I hate to see the animals in enclosures prevented from living life to the extent that they would in the wild, and yet I also appreciate that many of these animals would not exist in the wild.  Look at the orang-utans, amazing creatures, but slowly dying due to our need for palm oil.  really it is quite insane.  I do wonder how people can live with themselves sometime.  Don't get me wrong I am no saint and I am quite sure I eat products containing palm oil without realising it, but shouldn't the palm oil companies do something to balance the destruction they are causing...I shall certainly avoid all palm oil products where I can.

Back in Guernsey on Friday early evening and while Ewan popped out to the shop I checked facebook and stupidly clicked on a video of - what I now know to be - a Malaysian lady physically abusing her baby daughter.  Watching this made me feel the worst I have ever felt because I could not do a single thing to stop what that lady was doing, and I kept watching hoping someone eowuld do something about it as there were other people in the room, but no one did anything and this poor baby girl was hit with a pillow time and time again, kicked, pinched and the worse thing for me that when she was sobbing and reached an arm out to her mother's leg, the mother just whacked it away a couple of times.

I was beside myself with anguish, anger, rage and utter sadness at the video, tears were streaming down my face and I had to go into the garden with poor Elijah in my arms to ground and calm down until Ewan got home.  Ewan tried to convince me it was staged which just wound me up even more because the sound of that child was not staged, not one little bit.  I tried to show him but he was enraged himself and after putting Elijah to bed he suggested that I try to do good from what had happened.   I guess I thought I was doing good by sharing the video - my friend had suggested we all do this so that the lady would get caught, so I shared with my friends...without stopping to think of the anguish it was also going to cause them.

I didn't really sleep that night, the video kept going around and around and around in my head, I didn't know what to do with myself, the baby was not that much older than Elijah, how can women do this to their babies, it makes no sense to me.  The next day I awoke still so sad and as the day went on, I found I could talk of little else.  I deleted the video from my facebook page as I realised it was not going to achieve anything to share - I had already received some comments from my friends who had also stupidly watched it and we were all a little angry and sad.  I am a great believer in the global consciousness of this planet and the more anger and sadness, the less peace...we all have a role to play in this.

Fortunately I was teaching that morning so was able to distract myself and then we were out for lunch before having time for a swim in the sea, which helped with the grounding and the distraction.  Early evening and Elijah went to bed relatively early so we watched the BBC Big weekend in Glasgow and I surfed the internet hoping to find a charity that I could support.

I came across Safe Haven, a charity in Cambodia that helps abused babies and children.  It was one of those moments, not sure if anyone knows what I mean, but when you know that you were meant to find it, I was led there really and as soon as I read one of the postings on the website from a supporter, well I just know it is a charity I would like to support.  It was one of those flow evenings from then on...my favourite band in the whole world, Coldplay, came on the TV, I just love the lyrics, the soul that goes into them, inspired on many levels.

And as I watched Coldplay I pinged an email to the charity only to receive a response within 20 minutes.  I posted on my facebook and sent an email to my contacts, my idea to hold two classes in aid of this charity during the first week of June - all proceeds to go to Save Haven in honour of the little baby girl, so at least some good can come of her suffering...and fortunately a short while after posting this message a lovely lady came back saying that all was well with the little girl and attached a link to the CNN website, which contained a news item about the video being circulated on facebook.

Apparently a family member took the video so she could go to the police and report the mother for child abuse.  The mother was 18 years old and was put in prison for 18 months and the baby was given to loving foster parents.  I can't tell you the relief I felt reading this article.  Thank god, it restored my faith in humanity.  It all took place in 2011 and is still being circulated on facebook, which is ridiculous really and in many respects I wish it could be taken off because it is just making people upset and angry, but at the same time, it has reignited a passion in me to make a difference to the many children suffering in this world.

I first became inspired while undertaking charity work in Nepal and was a founder of a project to try and empower women, with the idea that this would empower their children too.  the charity is still being run by my friend, Devika, in Nepal, but sadly life circumstances mean that I have not been able to get out there myself to be involved. The project is now self-financing and provides women with an opportunity to learn massage and then earn money from giving massage to tourists who they meet through Devika's yoga school.  It has really helped provide an income to some ladies, which will have helped their children too.

But it is Cambodia I am currently drawn for the child sex trafficking industry (how shocking it is an industry) is rife, and there are many orphans and children being abused by Westerners looking for a good time.  It sickens and saddens me to the core, we really need to wake up and do something to stop this terrible industry becoming one of the most lucrative in the world - I have a feeling I read somewhere that it is up there with the drug trade....trading in human children...what is wrong with us??

I appreciate there are millions of charities out there, so I don't expect anyone to jump on the bandwagon with me, but I feel it is important that we are aware.  It is all too easy to bury our heads in the sand and consider that there is nothing we can do anyway.  When there is.  Just putting positive vibrations out into the world makes a difference.  Yoga is said to encourage and increase the energy of love and compassion, so simply practising Yoga is enough, catching yourself when you have bad thoughts about others, it really is about being more mindful and thinking of the bigger picture, not just ourselves...and yet of course it starts with ourselves.

Anyhow I digress. I feel a little battered by all that has happened this last few weeks, and yet I feel incredibly inspired too...I may just need a few days to retreat and allow the dust to really settle!!

With much love and gratitude.

xxx

And here we go...

And here we go.

Ewan says I am too emotional.  I say I am human. I love you boys, my boys, after all that we have been through.  Do we believe in magic?

No, I believe It is already worked out...sort of...covering all bases...written, and we get glimpses from time to time....

Love, love, love me.

xx

Magic

For the first time ever I forgot my password.  I forgot quite  a lot tonight.  Someone said us yoga teachers are magic.  I say not, only Coldplay are magic. Seriously. Inspired genius.  Oh my gosh, there are times like this where I want to float on that life raft from A to B, and cuddle back again. I love you darling Ewan, darling Elijah, you are both ALWAYS in my head.

We fall apart for those we love.  I have done that many times, because each time we are broken and we fix ourselves, well we become stronger.  Seriously. We fall apart.  And then we build ourselves up again...darling boys...here we go again.

True, true, true, and yes ever so magic too...

I love, I love, I love you.  I really do love you.

Please fine the Nigerian girls.

Please.

xxx

Practice, practice, practice

I have just had the most amazing weekend, immersing myself in my greatest passion in life, yoga!  My Dad thinks I am crazy, that I choose to spend my spare time going to yoga classes, because isn’t teaching it enough?!  Well of course teaching yoga is very special, but so too is getting to a class and focusing on my own practice in a very different way to just practicing on my own at home.

Saturday, I began the morning with a short home yoga practice while Ewan took Elijah to his weekly swimming lesson, before teaching my Saturday morning class, all ladies this week, and the dedicated ones too, well those that weren’t recovering from the excesses of Liberation Day in any event!

And from there time to feed my baby before joining the restorative/pregnancy class at St Martin’s community centre as part of the health day to fundraise for the Sarah Groves Memorial Charity.  It was wonderful really, to just focus on my breath with gentle movement to restore energy to body, mind and soul.  Oh yes, how much we should all do this, at least once a week – I felt like I was floating my way to town with Elijah and Ewan for a visit to Costa afterwards. 

We went back again a few hours later so I could join the baby yoga class with Elijah.  We have started attending baby yoga again with Anita recently; sadly we had to stop when I went back to work.  This class was a little different but fun all the same, although with his teething and afternoon tiredness, Elijah was a little more fractious than usual and we ended up sitting and feeding in the end. 

Ewan, Elijah and I went down to the beach after then, Petit Bot for a high tide tea time swim.  We are trying to increase the time we spend in the sea and these day we have to take it in turns to go in so that someone is always on shore with Elijah – well it is more than that, generally Elijah has to be held.  Yes, despite all good intentions of not having him attached to us, he does exactly that.  While other babies will happily sit in their pushchairs, heck even be pushed in their pushchairs, Elijah likes to be held in our arms, or in the forward facing sling, so he can see what is going on.  He is a sticky beak! 

In any event down at the beach and in the sea we are now up to 2.5 minutes each, and now I know that that does not sound like a long time, but honestly, when you are in the sea, rough sea too, and on your own, well that is quite some time, but oh my gosh it does make you feel so very alive, cold to the bone and invigorated from the inside out! 

On Sunday I was fortunate to get to another yoga class, Hot Yoga this time at the Grande Mare.  A little reminiscent of Bikram and yet different, thankfully not so hot, and a little more forgiving!  Well saying that, my legs certainly know that they are alive this evening, invigorated indeed! And all this was finished off with a Reiki session, me giving, while my lovely boyfriend kindly entertained our beautiful little boy – I am blessed indeed.

I just LOVE practicing yoga, joining classes, helping to create that beautiful group energy, grounding, cleansing, energising, centring, just being present to the breath and to the body. Wow, it just helps to make me feel so much better about everything, there is so much more clarity, strength and inspiration.  Everyone should practice yoga, although I do appreciate that we all find our nirvana in different ways! 

It is all just marvellous; honestly it is, thank you to all the students who just brighten my days with their passion, dedication and commitment to yoga, let alone that beautiful group energy that lifts me three times a week.  Truly, teaching yoga has to be one of the best jobs in the world – not that it is a job, more of a privilege really. And also to get to classes with others too, such a privilege, I am so thankful for that opportunity. 

Happy practicing! 

With much love and gratitude. 

xx

 

Better again!

We are better.  Hooray.  I credit getting in the sea and taking Potter's herbal remedies. This stuff is just amazing, it really works!! It has been around since 1812 (I think), and is full of natural goodness, I will certainly be using this in the future (should it ever be needed).  As for the sea, well this is good for the soul as much as the sinuses, and it is getting warmer now too, honestly!

All this illness is interesting, as it does make you slow down a little, which is one of the reasons we get sick I guess, trying to do too much in the first place!! And it makes you take better care of yourself too. Anything really, to get rid of the blasted common cold!

So I am getting really excited about the release of Coldplay's new album.  I have been listening to an interview with Chris Martin, which has been really interesting, to gain a little more of an insight into the spirit of this man, who writes the lyrics to songs with such heart-felt honesty and talks of being broken. I agree with him though, we are all a bit broken. I believe that it is by being broken that we can really connect with the essence of the soul.

We are so much more than we ever truly realise.  And each challenge that we face (for there are many) has the potential not only to make us stronger, but to make us more connected with the true self, to tap into our innate wisdom and allow expression of the spirit. I am certainly learning to embrace the challenges, and accept them as part of the process.

It is difficult not to let the spirit shine when the weather is as beautiful as it has been the last few days, wow, not only have we managed to get in the sea, but we have gardened and walked and just enjoyed being outside.  Long may it continue, it is just so refreshing to feel human again and Elijah has all his energy and wants to be on his feet all the time - yes my arms are aching!

He started swimming lessons with Daddy this week and he starts yoga with Mummy and the lovely Anita tomorrow, Mummy is very excited about that! Life feels so vibrant at the moment with all the energy of new life, and summer on its way, it is all so very exciting.

So on that note, best get off to play x

A matter of perspective

It is all a matter of perspective. 

I thought we were doing quite badly on the sleep front, until Elijah got sick.  And then I realised that we were actually doing ok, before that is, because now we are really not doing so well.  and the funny thing is, because I have accepted it, because I know that is how it is going to be,  because he is poorly and I am his Mummy and therefore I will do all I can for him...well I slept for maybe 3 hours on and off last night and yet I feel ok.

Poor little monkey has some baby bronchitis thing, I am so disappointed as I stupidly thought that by exclusively breastfeeding he would be free of all horrible bugs, but alas not.  I even ate red meat tonight in the hope that the iron may boost his immune system.  Horrible to see him poorly, and to know that I can't make it better for him.  Although I have practiced Reiki on him.

In fact I managed to fit in a Reiki session yesterday, my first treatment on someone since the beginning of March.  How wonderful not only the quiet time focusing on one's breath and the movement of energy, but also the joy of the Reiki energy.  Just such a gift, really, I just love the feeling it provides, the clarity, the intuition, the resonance.  Hoorah for Reiki!

But I guess Elijah is on his path, like all of us, and while I channel Reiki to him, he has to go through his stuff, poor little monkey.  We bought him a high chair today, wooden of course, and a walker thing, as his legs do not stop moving, only that he is too big for it! And on that note why on earth do all those baby things have to be so plastic?!

As for my healing, finally I got to the bottom of what has been bothering me and it is what I initially thought, which means that the intuition is always best - such a relief as I find it very frustrating when you know something is not right and you think you know why, but you cannot prove it...

But that is what it is all about, listening and trusting and following and being open and timing...and we got there in the end and hopefully my little boy will heal quickly and the we can go and enjoy a long walk together...because it is so beautiful out there, Spring has sprung and nature is looking beautiful is beautiful, blue bells, all that wild garlic (have you noticed how much this year?!), campions, violets, so beautiful - all those late evenings too.

So I guess I am reminded how everything changes and how much I shall relish the sleepless nights for all the cuddle they provide and how there is a yin to every yang and a joy to every sorrow.  and for now I just hope my little boy gets better.

Much love

xxx