Heal thyself
So the full moon has now passed and soon we will be celebrating the Autumn Equinox on the 22nd September when we experience a time of equal day and equal night. The purpose of celebrating the Autumnal Equinox is twofold; firstly we want to give thanks for all our blessings and achievements, and secondly we want to project for the ability to maintain that which we possess – it does no good to manifest a goal if you cannot hold onto it.
For those of us who established a goal at the beginning of the year then it should now have manifested, or at least be well within our reach. Technically, this is a time to give thanks for all the blessings we have received throughout the year. And what a year too. It may just be in the lives of those around me, but there is certainly a lot of change happening in the next few months, house moves, country moves, job moves, new babies, the whole works. This is definitely a year to be reminded of the impermanence of everything.
I have noticed that there is an awful lot of illness too and with that the opportunity for healing. I keep meaning to write an article about this, in terms of my experience of illness and healing, which is personal to me I guess and may be of no interest to anyone else, but I do find the healing process fascinating nonetheless as there is so much out there to help us, although ultimately we have to do the work and this can be hard work indeed. It is like Louise Hay's says, "If we are willing to do the mental work, almost anything can be healed".
This is the reason yoga can be so healing and yet also rather confronting as it provides the opportunity for healing, well, at least, the opportunity for us to be deeply honest with ourselves, which is often the precursor for healing to take place. That and letting go, only that sometimes we don't know what it is we should be letting go of. Nature can be helpful in this respect too, spending time alone in it, that is. Walking in nature, sitting in nature, just being one with nature. Sometimes this helps to provide the clarity one needs to know what is going on, deep down, on a soulful heart felt level then.
Last weekend we got to enjoy the nature of Jethou. Now that was really rather special. Jethou is a private Island beside Herm. The owners kindly opened it up to raise funds for Les Bourgs hospice and we managed to get tickets to go and visit. What a lovely island, so many different eco systems, I could quite easily lose myself there for some time, although of course I wouldn't really be losing myself, if anything I would probably be very connected to the self, because the Island has that kind of energy, where you can simply be with yourself without the distraction of the rest of the world with all its business and noise and concerns. Well worth a visit if you ever get a chance.
Anyhow I am very much thankful at this Autumn Equinox, 31 weeks pregnant today, the little bean is growing well, a miracle no less, there are blessings wherever we look.
With much love
x
Those grooves, those hips!
My car broke down on Saturday afternoon, on a hill, on a corner. Thankfully it was a one-way road, there are small mercies. We got it going again only for it to break down a little further along the road, by Waitrose, on a busy Saturday afternoon, where's the luck. It wads quite an experience actually, because I wanted to be anywhere but where I was. The pregnancy hormones don't help of course and I could feel the anger and frustration moving in. Thankfully E took control of the situation and while we had to spend an hour in Iceland carpark (another novel experience), before we knew it the car was whisked away by AA and we were left to walk home on foot. The funny thing is, I had only just washed my car a matter of hours earlier.
Anyhow the whole experience has been quite a blessing. No car means no rushing around and means learning to accept the kindness of others and ask for help in getting around when necessary. Funnily enough two lessons I have been struggling to learn the last few months, but which will no doubt set me up perfectly for the months ahead when the bean arrives and I find that I can no longer rush around, nor do it all on my own. Funny how the Universe works!
I do find that it is rather marvellous really, how the Universe does encourage us to learn. Look at Kerry Katona, bankrupt for a second time. I read an article with her recently where she said we need to learn from our mistakes of the past and move forward into the future. I wonder if she has now learned her lesson or whether she will be declared bankrupt for a third time in the future. Not that I am judging, only that it seems obvious to me how the Universe does indeed create the situations for us to learn from old mistakes, and if we keep making the same mistakes, it will keep providing us with the opportunity to learn again, be that in our relationships, our careers or our lifestyle choices.
Essentially it is all about breaking the patterns. And sometimes the patterns are very deeply ingrained. You can think of them like grooves, the more you keep repeating the same movement, the deeper and more ingrained the groove will become. Changing the pattern is the tricky bit, because more often than not the pattern is deeply ingrained in the mind. And the mind is a tricky thing, very powerful.
That is one of the reasons I have always found Yoga so enlightening and helpful. Not only does it awaken us to the grooves in our life, but it helps us to reprogram so that we, essentially, make different choices and create more positive grooves than support us rather than hinder us. After all, we all want to be happy and yet more often than not we, yes us, we are the cause of our own unhappiness. if someone else talked to us the way we talk to ourselves, well they probably wouldn't be our friends. All that judging, about the way we look, about our ability to do this or do that, and all the fears we create too, let alone the limitations, who needs an enemy when we are more often than not the biggest enemy we will ever meet.
We looked at this a little last night during class, about the concept of "ahimsa", the first of the yamas, the ethical principles of Yoga as set out by Patanjali in the Yoga Sutra. Ahimsa means non-harming to self and others. More often than not we will consider the non-harming to others aspect of this yama, in terms of our relationship with others, without also considering the non-harming aspect to ourselves. This is the very ground of the practice, the foundation from which all other choices evolve. How enlightening, and yet how scary to let go of any effort to harm the self...
As Cyndi Lee says, "Letting ahimsa be your guide means, at the very least, don't be a nuisance. We often think of ourselves as nuisances to ourselves, but if we take a closer look we might see how we get in the way of our own happiness, how we create our own suffering, through habitual pulling and pushing. This tendency to engage in personal tugs-of-war shows up frequently in seated poses, especially forward bends and hip openers". For those of you at class last night, or those of you who practice forward bends and hip openers in your own practice then this probably rings true. These poses can often take you to the heart of the matter - it is often said that the hips contain our ability to manifest the expression of our heart throughout the world.
So I am without a car, which can only be good for my hips as I have to walk quite a bit instead! This is a joy in itself, okay so the rain is not ideal, well not when you have to walk into work, but it is a lovely opportunity to embrace the seasonal change, the leaves turning brown and falling from the trees, the hedgerows of ripening blackberries, the changing skies with those wonderful autumnal clouds, that smell, ah yes times they are a changing. In fact we have a full moon this Thursday and the autumnal equinox on Saturday, where we experience an equal balance of night and day.
So let the change flow, tap into the grooves, see what isn't working ad let it go, you can do this through your Yoga practice, by practicing those seated and hip opening poses that challenge you, by breathing through them and changing the attitude with which you do so. meditate too, that is so powerful in helping us to recognise the mental conditioning and changing the way we "see" things. Yoga Nidra too, such a powerful tool with the opportunity to establish a Sankalpa and let go. And then of course just getting to a Yoga class, making that step, well that starts to change things in itself.
Happy week everyone.
xxx
Yoga Body, Buddha mind, a wonderful weekend in London
Wow, that was the most inspiring and enlightening Yoga workshop I have attended. For me, Cyndi Lee is a true inspiration, her teachings resonate on every level and I can only aspire to be as effective a Yoga teacher as she is when I am a similar age.
She has helped to answer a lot of the questions running through my mind, not least on the Yoga mat, but more so on the Buddhism that has attracted my heart and mind for many years but has only recently manifested into a practice and way of living, and even then, it is of course a work in progress.
I loved the meditations, the teachings, the sharing, and of course the practice. It was so liberating to be treated as yet another student and not to experience the usual warning alarms that come with being pregnant. Instead I was left to tap into my own innate wisdom and decide for myself, and indeed for the bean, what felt right in terms of practice on my mat. Very kindly, there was little that I could not practice, for the sequencing was, on the whole, pregnancy friendly. Whether I shall live to regret practicing as strongly as I did, handstands and all, remains to be seen, but it was so empowering to be able to just do what felt right in that moment.
It is fascinating this pregnancy malarkey, in terms of the amount of fear that comes with it. Not least the worry that one experiences in terms of whether everything is okay with the growing baby that you cannot see, but also all the fear surrounding you from midwives and indeed other people, all the things you are told you cannot do any more, even if you feel that really, you can. All the messages out there about what is right and wrong. Honestly it is draining and probably one of the reasons I am trying my hardest to step back from it all, all the books, all the tales of birthing and beyond, all the concepts of parenting, all the information that is now available at the touch of a finger. So much for our own innate wisdom, I can't help feeling that we are just getting further away from all this.
The same goes in life generally. And I guess that was one of the joys of the weekend, to remember what this Yoga malarkey is all about, and more importantly what this yoga teaching malarkey is all about - a commitment then to an awakened existence, to help others also awaken and manifest as enlightened beings. To touch in and live and experience life through your own wisdom, more clarity, less confusion, so you are less inflicted by your fears and concerns - less attachment and aversion, less suffering, more happiness, happier world.
The physical practice of vinyasa, which really means 'to place in a special way', that every cause has an effect, is wonderfully awakening, present moment and liberating. Each afternoon I left class buzzing, eyes wide own, calm and very centred. It is fun, a joyous experience seeing what the body can do - what the mind, then, enables the body to do, to move beyond the limitations of the mind, to address that "I can't" attitude, which shows up on the Yoga mat all the time, and therefore shows up in life too. All those negative tendencies that we adopt throughout our life, that prevent us from living as fully as we may like...or as we can, if only we would allow ourselves to.
It was wonderful to be free and anonymous in London too, to walk lots, to enjoy some yummy vegetarian food, to have a hotel room all to myself (small pleasures) and to be able to look around the shops, albeit lacking in pregnancy clothes in London as much as in Guernsey!
A huge thank you to Cyndi and indeed to my travelling partner, fellow yogini and friend, Jackie, for a fantastic weekend.
With love and much gratitude.
xx
Shiva dancing
Wow what a week, Shiva has been dancing in our lives again, so much destroying and letting go, no doubt to enable us to re-create and with that grow. My whole being feels as if it has been tossed and turned and shaken upside down and all around in a washing machine. Phew. Talking to friends I know I am not alone, change is most definitely in the air, never felt it so strongly in such a short period of time.
The changing season is most definitely in the air and having enjoyed the most amazing summer I am personally ready for the change. I just love the autumnal weekends with crisp sky and that beautiful Autumnal light, blackberry and apple picking for wholesome pies, let alone all the tomatoes and beans and the butternut squash on their way. Exciting times indeed!
I had the most lovely Sunday yesterday, waking to feel the autumnal shift in the air, a gentle bike ride to morning pregnancy Yoga followed by a lovely sunshine filled walk through the St Andrew's lanes with a dear friend, putting the world to rights and helping to vocalise the events of the past few days. We picked beans up at E's sister's allotment, such a gentle energy up there, before pottering in a garden centre and swimming in the sea at Cobo at high tide. We enjoyed a glorious sunset last night having eaten down on the west coast, the perfect end to a lovely calm day. Nature abounds with beauty. Thank you.
So the schools return this week and with that, a routine to life appears again. For me personally, it is an exciting week of Yoga as I am off this weekend to London for a final training course before the bean arrives. I am just so excited to be going to spend the whole weekend with a dear friend and Cyndi Lee, one of the most inspiring Yoga teachers in my life these days. Such great timing, I just can't wait to absorb the energy and wisdom of her teachings to enhance my own practice and my teaching too.
Talking of teaching, the Autumn schedule begins in earnest next week, that is also exciting, due to changing personal and work commitments there have had to be some changes which sees the classes moving to St Martin's, at least for now, will be strange having hiked up to St Peter's for the last 5 years or so. So there is more change you see, even in my world of Yoga teaching!
The new moon appears on Thursday, I am hopeful that this will bring some degree of calmness after the turbulence of the last weeks or so - that certainly was a very powerful last full moon!
With much love and gratitude.
xxx
Take a stand for Yoga today
A great article I would like to share with everybody. I couldn't have said it better myself - bring on the happy body, happy mind and happy nervous system for a happier world to live in. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-hardy/201305/take-stand-yoga-today
On that note, came across this marvellous quote in Pema Chodron's book, "Living beautifully with uncertainty and change", in which she writes:
"There's a story that Ed Brown, the Zen chef, tells about his early days with his teacher, Suzuki Roshi. Ed was the head cook at Tassajara Zen Mountain Centre in California in the 1960s and was well know for his volatile temper. Once, in a fury, he went to his teacher and complained about the state of the kitchen: people didn't clean up properly; people talked too much; people were distracted and unmindful. It was chaos on a daily basis. Suzuki Roshi's reply was simple: "Ed, if you want a calm kitchen, calm you mind".
"If your mind is expansive and unfettered, you will find yourself in a more accommodating world, a place that's endlessly interesting and alive. That quality isn't inherent in the place, but in your state of mind. The warrior longs to communicate that all of us have access to our basic goodness and that genuine freedom comes from going beyond labels and projections, beyond bias and prejudice, and taking care of each other."
I guess it comes back to the fact that it is all mirrors out there, staring us back, the challenge comes in catching ourselves, in that moment, and being conscious of the decisions we are making rather than reacting and it all coming back. Needless to say a regular Yoga and indeed meditation practice can help us enormously to become more accustomed to the present moment experience of life, and the asana and pranayama really help us embody this experience too.
On that note, happy bank holiday, time to go practice on this beautiful Sunday morning!
xxx